Demonwolf07

yeah,I used to feel headaches after reading korean novels when I started reading webnovels. Now, I'm ok. it's strange only reading korean names,I used to get headaches but nothing happens while reading Chinese novel except the confusion, when I started reading .

I love how after aikkun's shishio, nobody believes in this scumbag line.

shishui would get a heart attack with this quick acceptance.

no he is right. Atmost he has signed in 4 -5 times,though there is a reason for that . But Mc doesn't do shit. mc is very passive. he is just making his team members collect blood.

yeah,this is getting boring. he doesn't do anything.

yet

bro Chinese are good at maths.

akikan did a PhD on this topic. he knows all about "yashashi".

jack ryan ?

good idea and start. Just a few things. 1.) use (') when thinking and (") when talking. 2.) I think you are trying to portray your character as confident but it is coming out as creepy. no one talks like that. 3.) maybe you are trying to show that mc is 3 dimensional like he doesn't have just a single personality(like he is not just funny or serious) but the way he talks and the pace and mood changes so quickly, he seems like some tsundere or edgy character. 4.) you made everyone's personality so accepting of your actions. 5.) nayeon doesn't seem real to be honest. it more seems like you have wrong perception of how things work in normal human way. like nayeon would never try to sleep with you even after you refused her. she has strong mentality in the Start of the original story. there are some things that I couldn't explain clearly. But you Idea was great. and if you improve,it will be a good fic. thank you for your hardwork.