AvaCeciliaGrace

I love warhammer fanfics but this system and the rewards you have set up for him so far leave me doubting whether or not its going to be any good for this story, plot wise. Forge system so it could be an insane amount from warhammer power Armour, weapons to defend himself etc but he's only getting space ships/station related rewards that he won't be able to use unless you make some random plot of how he gets 100-200k crew suddenly who know how to maintain said ships. Even the heist hes planning to get materials for the beginner ships still need massive crews.

Dou Grandmaster*

Cultivation level here is wrong as well.

last chapter he becomes a "great dou master" now its back to 8 star practioner

he goes to places as Law Matani then checks in elsewhere nearby as Horizon days later to make it look as if he just arrived. The logo is Horizon's logo not Law Matani. He's made Law look like a rich playboy with tattoos.

30 Chapters in and its just a crackfic. The MC doesn't need to be OP right away but all the author does is make her banter with the system and act like an idiot. Nothing about this fanfic is serious and everything is treated like a joke. Crackfics are just not my cup of tea and author should probably put that it is one in the synopsis. etc etc MC is also an idiot.

Story has the same premise as the story 'Ohh Sh*t I'm in Marvel' but that other story had sh*t translation and was annoying af to read/take seriously. So far this story is so much better than that and hope it continues that way.

you don't have to keep reintroducing the MC :/

Edward was never arrogant "in" believing that his plans were infallible. changes it to make sense more while still allowing him to be arrogant in other areas.

strong descriptions are fine and I don't mind that at all its when it gets to ridiculous levels and there is more descriptions and no plot/advancement. An example of ridiculous levels would be Shinigami of the Marvel World. It was almost trolling/sarcastic levels of descriptions and unnecessary words.