Meeting a couple of neets

The world is chaotic, unreasonable, and unfair.

It has no meaning whatsoever.

Those who realize that but refuse to come to terms with it make a wish.

A wish that the world could be a little more interesting.

Was probably the wish that brought this kind of world into being.

"Yo, I'm Zieg. The two on my shoulders are Draig and Albion. I'm just a random guy on vacation, tasked with the job of making sure you walk the correct way to civilization." Zieg introduced himself nochalantly in front of the two siblings giving him a blank stare.

*ROAR sfx* All of a sudden a rush of wind blasted out from below, revealing a large dragon taking flight.

"Little sister." The protagonist with spiky maroon hair named Sora turned down to his little sister Shiro, not reacting to the random guy and roaring dragon. "I've always thought that life was just an impossible game for masochists, but..."

"Now it's gone and hit a fatal bug!"

"What is going on!?"

"This is such a shitty game!"

The two siblings finally burst out into tears at the absurdity of the situation.

"You know, I think they're handling the situation pretty well compared to most people." Albion commented

"They're on the ground in tears." Draig pointed out.

"Better than most!"

"Well either way, come on you two. Let's get down from this cliff and get to wherever civilization is." Zieg tried to placate the two and get started with the trek. Sure he could fly, but Tet asked him to guide them there and he didn't mind taking the long way.

"What do you mean wherever it is!?"

"Aren't you supposed to be a guide!?"

After much difficulties of convincing the siblings that they wouldn't become flat pancakes from jumping off the cliff, the group finally began making their way to the nearest town. On the way, the group made small talk to each other. Zieg claiming to be an Elden Lord from 6,000 years ago. When he asked Tet how long it had been since he was gone, he was surprised to hear it was 6,000 years.

"But man, this really is a fantasy world huh? Wait, does that mean there are... animal girls and stuff too!?" Sora started fantasizing with lewd thoughts.

"Nii, you're drooling."

"There should be, from what I remember. Although I didn't really fight with those Warbeasts much back then." Zieg frowned in thought. He remembered that he had only fought them personally for 3 battles, however he was put out of commission in the third battle and Kokabiel took over after that.

"That reminds me, you said you were part of a big war 6,000 years ago right? Doesn't that make you an old man?" Sora pointed out.

"Mm, he doesn't look old." The white haired girl glanced at him for a moment.

"Oi, time is relative. While I did spend 6 years during the war, I left after it ended. I think I'm about 26-30 right now, I stopped keeping track."

"So you're middle aged."

"Oi, why are you making it sound like a bad thing!?"

"Well, what else do you remember?"

"Oh, you trying to get free info? I don't really mind but, how bout you two play me for it? If I lose, I'll give you a free history lesson of my experiences back in the eternal war. But if you lose.... I dunno, I'll just make you two do something embarrassing since you don't really have anything I want. This will be a good lesson to show you the power that the ten pledges are capable of." Zieg offered. It would be a display of how the pledges/commandments worked

"Alright, you're on."

"Commandment 5: The challenged party has the right to decide the game. Since I'm challenging you, you can choose the game. You can pick whatever you like, hell it could even be a card game. I've got a spare deck right here." Zieg smiled and gestured towards them after secretly projecting a deck of cards. 'Heh, they shouldn't have any experience with magic yet. Which means that I can actually win this, even if I'm shit at games.'

Zieg truly was terrible at games, however he had confidence that he could cheat to victory with magecraft.

10 MINUTES LATER

"Impossible, I still lost...." Zieg collapsed to the ground in shock.

"You were too overconfident." Draig patted the side of his head.

"Well, we still don't know how you were cheating but we never lose when it comes to games." Sora let out a breath of relief.

"Mm, Kuhaku never loses."

They had decided on poker after Zieg pulled out a deck of cards. Unfortunately for Zieg, he still lost after cheating the entire time.

"Well, let's hear it Mister Elden Lord." Sora smiled at him.

"Fine, it's a bit of a long story but I think I can finish by the time we get to town."

The rest of the journey was filled with Zieg recounting his time in the war 6,000 years ago.

∞

"Well, this is a good place if any. After you check in, I'll be going off to do my own thing."

We had finally made it after half a day of traveling to the closest inn. We didn't have much issues, but we did run into bandits on the way. Of course they couldn't actually attack us and just challenged us to a game for all our stuff. Man it is scary watching these two neets rob them of everything they had.

"Thanks, we appreciate it. But..."

"We don't have any money."

"Ah, I see. Well neither do I." I shrugged. I don't actually know the currency in this world. There wasn't a currency back during the war.

"You know, you are a terrible guide."

"Hey, I got you here in one piece didn't I?"

We got closer to the inn and found that they were holding some kind of gambling tournament to decide the next king. Makes me sad that none of these games involve violently murdering each other. Feels bad.

"I gotta say, you two are surprisingly more capable than I thought when it comes to handling people." I commented a bit surprised.

I remember they were neets who had social disorders or something.

"Well this is a fantasy world where everything runs on games. So we just have to think of it as a game and we're good." Sora explained to me as we walked over to his step sister.

"I guess that's one way to look at it." I hummed. I won't criticize another person's way at looking at life. Although I can think lowly of them, like any damn zealots.

"Sorry for the wait, Shiro."

"She's going to lose." Shiro commented, holding her phone up to the two competitors. One was obviously struggling and didn't even have the semblance of a poker face.

"Of course she is. She wouldn't know what a poker face was even if it came... She's cheating?"

"She is, but.... I can't tell how."

"Oh, there's someone using magic and changing her cards out. Like what I did in our game." I could feel and see the blatant use of magic.

"I see... I can't believe it but this really is a fantasy world, huh." Sora's eyes scanned the room before stopping on a hooded figure.

"To use magic in this world, the basic rule is to connect to the Spirit Circuit which is the origin of their magic. However humans have no way to do it normally."

Unfortunately I didn't have time to give lessons to humanity back then. With the war going on all the time. I just couldn't sit down and properly teach people. I was either in battle or in bed recovering.

"What about you?"

"I use a different system of magecraft. But enough of that, I've got some things I want to do. I'll see you guys around." I waved before exiting the inn.

∞

"Where do you plan on going?" Draig asked as I began moving closer to the Kingdom of Elkia.

"I guess I'll just go to a library and look up the general history of what I've missed the last 6,000 years."

I'm actually curious about what happened since I left. I even left an Erdtree here, but it doesn't look like it's owned by the humans. The Erdtree would bless the crops and weather so that the people would never go hungry or suffer much natural disaster.

I looked over into the distance. Besides the towering chess pieces on the horizon, there was a collosal tree.

"Did these idiots bet my tree and lose?" A thin line settled on my face. I don't know how to feel about it. I mean, I just left it as good will and entrusted it to the humans. So they could have done anything with it and I wouldn't have cared. But the fact that it isn't owned by humans anymore. Kind of gives me a disappointed feeling.

"Didn't you come here for the Flugels?"

"No rush, besides it's been 6,000 years. I'm sure they've found an answer by now, so we'll probably be going home without them." I shrugged. Although I said that I came to check up on the Flugels. That was it.

It's been 6,000 years. I'd be surprised if they hadn't found a reason to live without Artosh and War yet.

"Pretty big library, too bad it seems deserted" I commented after finding the library.

After asking some random people, they pointed me here. However they kept warning me of a monster that lived here. I haven't watched No Game No Life in so long that I forgot the plot. So whatever is in here will be a surprise for me.

"Why would people be afraid of monsters if the 10 pledges protect them?" Albion wondered aloud

"Humans always did overreact to the smallest things."

"Sounds about right, well let's go see what this monster is."

I continued walking inside, curious about what kind of monster had taken up residence in a library.

Pushing open the large door, my ice blue eyes met with a familiar pair of cross shaped pupils.

"Ah..." Jibril pointed at me in speechless astonishment

"...Yo, long time no see Jibril. Glad to see you're doing well."

I hesitantly waved to her before she slammed into me at breakneck speeds and shook me back and forth with her godslaying strength. Oh shit, I think my neck just cracked in a weird place.

"You're back! Do you have any idea how long we've been waiting! And that idiot Azril just gave up after the first hundred years! Did you know she tried to pass a law that required me to call her Onee-san!? She's insane and delusional! And they passed a stupid law with the books and and..."

I listened to her rant for another 10 minutes before she finally finished.

"Okay..." Was all I could respond to her with.

∞

Somewhere back in DXD

A man known as Sir lancelot was being used as a human chair by a girl in a big witch hat.

"WORRY NOT SIR LANCELOT! WE SHALL SAVE YOU FROM YOUR ENSLAVEMENT TO THIS WITCH!" Slane roared out with the burning intensity of the sun.

"Actually this is his fetish." The Witch clarified

"I'm okay with this!" Sir Lancelot gave a thumbs up from his bottom position with an obvious nose bleed and a lecherous smile.

"Dear gods! The mind control is more powerful than I had feared!" Slane gasped out in horror

"What am I looking at?" Valerie questioned with a blank expression

"I don't know, but I don't like it." Red responded with a similar blank expression.

"Sir Lancelot had always been a bit... eccentric. But his skills with the blade are real." Arthur attempted to save some of his fellow knight's dignity.

"As a man who was once enslaved by a vile witch! I promise on my name as Slane to bring you salvation!"

"Again, this is actually his fetish."

"Silence Witch! For you face Slane of Rivellon! Now begone thot!" Slane immediately transformed into a massive winter dragon and blasted them into the horizon with a cold breath.