Ch 18

(Several minutes later)

About a mile and a half out from where the Uchiha Police Station had gone up in flames- and was still going up in flames from the copious amounts of military explosives still going off- a small lake sat beside a small patch of forest. This large pool of water was fed by multiple open sewers and storm drains, all of which had, over the many years since their installation, had come together to create this very unappealing and disgusting little slice of manmade nature.

These particular pipes led from the Uchiha Clan district and emptied into the ditch, pouring all of the refuse from the streets and gardens of the abovementioned suburbs into this one spot. Thanks to the absence of rain in the last couple of weeks, the place had dried up somewhat, leaving on a muddy little puddle.

Of course, there was going to be one extra addition added to this little speck. A series of grunts echoing from one of the pipes marked the arrival of one Naruto Uzumaki. Pushing through the dried muck sitting in his way, the blond youngster slowly crawled his way out of the cramped conduit, before eventually pulling himself out of the cylinder and dropping into the pool with a heavy splash.

Free of his retched confinement, the boy, reeking of sewage, and covered in soots and various small burns from the explosion that he'd created, coughed and spluttered on the crap caught in his throat. Sprawling out in the muddy tides of his final resting spot, Naruto then took several, well-deserved gulps of fresh night air, which filled his lungs and swelled him to a state of glorious euphoria.

A few seconds later, after lying there in the cold, stagnant water staring up at the sparkling sky, the sounds of explosions echoing in the distance soon brought the seven-year-old around. He started to laugh, his chest heaving up and down and choking out pained sounding chuckles. This eventually transformed into full-blown hysteria, as the burnt and dazed Naruto then began cackling and hollering to the night above him.

Despite being painted completely brown from rat, dog, cat, garden, and several hundred other kinds of shit, Naruto just couldn't help but let the adrenaline rush of his life-or-death encounter with the assassin run its course.

"Hahahaha-ha-ha! Damn… that was loud! Hahahahaha! I can't hear a fucking thing! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the blond practically screamed out in utter mania. "Sorry… why curse the dark, when you can light up a seven-hundred thousand watt candle?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Slapping the muddy water next to him, the mud-covered and dazed Naruto then jabbed his middle-finger up at the tower of flames in the distance. "THAT'S WHAT I THINK OF YOUR INTANGIBILITY, MOTHERFUCKER! THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE THINKS OF IT! NOW CHOKE ON THAT FLAMING HORSE COCK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Though he had no idea who the hell he'd just set on fire a thousand times over, Naruto was positive the guy was dead. If not, then he was going to have a lot more than a few deep cuts to the face to walk off.

Either way, with the way he'd played out that whole scenario, Naruto knew that he'd come out ahead. So, with nothing but the mosquitoes and fireflies around him to witness his victory, the boy raised his arms and cried out to the heavens. "I… AM THE GREATEST BAD ASS, IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!"

By the time he stopped rolling about in the sewage pool laughing his ass off, the sun had already slowly started rising over the distant horizon. When it did, the present and future of the Village Hidden in the Leaves was forever changed…