It hurts so much

Mother's words touched and embarrassed me. Mother did not blaspheme or punish me at all.

About last night, Mother and Father did not demand that I tell them.

"Yes ma'am ..... Andika, Nian and Ganesh will always look after Alinda, we all love sis Alin ..." Andika said, making myself feel like crying.

All my younger siblings love me so much and they all make me mean in this house.

The love and affection they gave me, totally contrary to what I gave them, I can only put a stain on this family. in the slightest I can't give them the best.

"Mom! Gatot will take care of all these brothers and sisters and family properly! But Gatot does not want to take care of the poison in this family, all that can only be embarrassing and make the pride of Mother and Father meaningless in the eyes of everyone who sees the family we are! "

Brother Gatot spoke by pointing at me,

I really did not think that my brother could say that to me, even though his words are all true that I am poison to my family.

"Brother Gatot, don't talk like that to sis Alin, after all, Alin loves Nian, Andika and Ganesh."

My younger brother Nian replied to brother Gatot's words.

"Never mind !! Gatot doesn't want to eat at one table with this community trash! Gatot is disgusted and disgusted when he sees his face!" said brother Gatot and immediately stood up and left the dining table.

"Gatot ..! Sit ... !!"

Father shouted and immediately scolded Gatot's brother.

"This father ..! Why always defend her ... !! do you not know who the real Alin is ..!".

Kak Gatot defended himself in front of father, who was very angry because of his attitude.

I can only be silent and bow my head, because I am ashamed and feel guilty towards all of them. Actually, I wasn't angry with Gatot because what he said about me was true.

"Gatot ... listen. Whatever is in Alin .. it is the fault of your father and mother, not him ..! Like you who always have problems with the police, have you forgotten, who is the most to blame ...!?! Already surely we both, your father and mother ..!?! "

Trying to calm down my father said to kak Gatot, and the words spoken by his father made myself and kak Gatot speechless and bowed their heads.

I can only cry regretfully, because actually I can't stand this family life, this kind of commotion is actually not just once or twice, this commotion often occurs and it's all because of me.

"Brother Gatot, all of this is my fault I know and realize it ... I beg you, Give me time until I finish school, next, I will prove to all that I am not what they think."

with a painful and devastated feeling I tried to say to Brother Gatot.

"Don't ever dream that you can return to holiness, because I really know who you are! If one day we meet on the street, don't even ever call me your brother! Because I will never see you as my sister !"

"Plaque ..! You are really outrageous Gatot! You have overstepped your mother and father !!" Gatot's attitude really made father furious, father who initially just sat quietly on the dining table chair immediately stood up after hearing the words that were spoken by brother Gatot to me and he immediately gave a hard slap to brother Gatot.

"Ok Ok ... we already let's go to school, Mom and Dad also want to go to work ... !!"

Mother broke up in an argument between brother Gatot and father. because time has required us to separate because we have to carry out our respective activities.

"Sis Alin, don't be sad ... give sorry to brother Gatot, who doesn't know what?"

My sister Nian's words comforted my heart, I immediately hugged her and I didn't feel like letting go.

"Let's go. Let's get to school late, come home from school, Sis. Nian will buy you all fried chicken, because I did promised you yesterday."

I kissed my siblings on the forehead one by one, I told them about my promise because I wanted to give them the food they really wanted.

"Don't you ever buy my younger siblings, the food that you buy uses haram money because I don't want to see my younger siblings getting swollen because of your illicit money!" said brother Gatot to me.

Brother Gatot is still not satisfied with blaspheming myself.

I can only be silent and resigned to hear what brother Gatot said to me, I am not angry or crying, I realize that I really have to accept this insult that he uttered.

"Let's go 'we're all late this time!"

said Andika, who helped me on purpose by inviting brother Gatot to leave me.

only a smile that can be used as an introduction for them to leave me, I live alone who continues to walk alone, because they all go in one direction with brother Gatot, only me whose school is close to home so I can go on foot only, my school distance is very close only 300 meters from the house.

Every day I really wait for them to leave until they don't see their shadow anymore then I start walking to school, so far I've only left alone because not a single friend wants to go to school with me, maybe because they don't want to be infected later be bad like me.

========= >>>>>

My dear readers, I ask all of you who liked the contents of this story, please help me with the Vote and also the reviews yaa ..

so that my novel can rise and stay in the rankings and also make me even more excited to write the story again ....

thank you, don't forget to say my best regards to all of you who have read my suffering.

if you want to know me you can see me on

FB : @ Chandrawati2019 or

Instagram: @Divanandadewi

thank you and I love you all.

Chandrawati.