Chapter 31 - Holy name

There was something strange.

Nathaniel had a strange feeling in his chest. Like a sea wave that rises and crashes all at once and then returns gently to repeat the cycle. That flooding feeling in his chest bothered him. Even if he put his hand to his chest, he didn't feel anything unusual.

Could it be his heart failing?

Lately his heart had been beating strangely too. Although most of the time he was with Jake.

That feeling of ocean waves... Could they also be related to the alpha?

Maybe it was a brand thing? He didn't know to what extent the brand would allow the two of them to be connected.

Watching the volleyball practice, Nathaniel realised that the players were completely anxious. It was no wonder, the qualifiers were going to take place next Sunday. Even Guilherme was nervous, training hard enough not to disappoint the coach who decided to put him on the court.

And despite all the excitement, there was one person who seemed to stand out from the rest.

Jake seemed out of it. He didn't even miss serves and receptions, on the contrary, he did everything very well. As expected, his strong body allowed him to have more power. His balls always went wide, leaving his rivals impressed. It was common for the starters to complain about playing a practice match with the alpha as their opponent.

But that afternoon something was strange.

Jake usually joked with his team-mates. Always making fun of them while sharing some advice. It wouldn't be a lie to say that Jake was the loudest on the team.

The one who shone the brightest was atypically quiet.

Bringing his hand to his chest, Nathaniel felt that sea wave again.

Just before training finished, the omega left the gym, choosing to wait under the tree where it was cooler. There he took a sip of water and an inhibitor tablet, marking the time he had taken his medication in his notebook.

The cool breeze that late afternoon heralded heavy clouds and a few thunderstorms.

— It's going to rain — Opening his rucksack, he found no umbrella — Hm... I'm going to get my arse kicked if I come home soaked.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Nathaniel lowered his mask to get rid of the stuffy air. Taking a deep breath, he found his little freedom there. All he could hear was the sound of the leaves swaying in the wind and the shouts of the players from inside the gym.

It was surprisingly calming.

Until he smelt something sweet.

Opening his eyes slowly, Nathaniel saw a group of girls sneaking round the gym door. They giggled and peered inside, seemingly excited about something.

Resting his arm on his knee, Nathaniel put his mask back on. If they saw him there, it would certainly frighten them and cause problems for Rapoxia. Something like "the volleyball gym is haunted". People were strange to be bothered by his presence alone.

Preferring to go unnoticed, Nathaniel got up from his little rest and was about to leave the gym when he heard something.

— Oh?

Glancing round, he noticed one of the girls staring at him. Short, straight hair, it was the girl he had seen earlier eating with Jake. Was she one of his friends?

Since he didn't know her, would it be awkward to say hello?

It was better to avoid trouble, right?

Without saying anything, Nathaniel just continued walking, until...

— Wait!

Stopping, he looked back, surprised that someone was talking to him.

The girl approached him hesitantly, but her gaze was full of determination. Standing away from her friends, she whispered.

— You're Jake's friend, aren't you?

Nathaniel couldn't answer.

I mean, they were friends... But friends didn't do what they do. Jake said something like colourful friendship, except that saying that to a girl who was friends with the alpha was a bit... Wouldn't that lead to trouble?

— So?

Swallowing dryly, the girl seemed startled by his answer. Was that too dry? Nathaniel just didn't know to what extent he could tell her.

— Jake's a good guy.

— So what?

— He doesn't even believe the rumours.

Nathaniel's countenance turned sombre instantly.

It was the first time anyone seemed to have the courage to tell him about the rumours. Usually the students gossiped behind his back, giving hints without ever confronting him. Not that the omega was going to do anything about it, but it seemed that there was a line that limited the approach of the others.

In that case, it wouldn't be strange for the alpha's friend to be worried about him.

— I heard from his friends that Jake is generally like that with everyone. That he doesn't believe rumours, and always prefers that the person themselves tell him, regardless of whether it's true or not.

Was this some kind of advice?

Nathaniel didn't understand exactly what this girl wanted.

Stuffing his hands in his trouser pockets, Nathaniel tilted his head.

— Did you come here to tell me about Jake? I don't think I need any advice.

After all... They had something top secret going on between four walls, right?

— I told him about what happened last year, but Jake didn't seem to believe me.

What happened last year?

Ah... that guy.

It was then that Nathaniel felt that sea wave again. Only higher and stronger, taking back with it all the security he had built up. Was his security made of sand to crumble so easily?

Staring unblinkingly at the girl, Nathaniel wondered why the subject was even being broached. It would be better if she kept her mouth shut.

Without even realising it, the omega began to release its pheromones. He had no intention of seducing anyone, let alone influencing anyone to do what he wanted. The bittersweet odour was so strong and intense that the girl herself grimaced and covered her nose.

It was a threat.

— You...

— Nath! I found you! — Jake suddenly appeared, looking surprised to see the girl there — Bianca? I thought you two didn't know each other.

— Oh, that's not it. I was just talking to him, since you said you were friends...

— Got it. And what were you talking about?

— Actually...

The girl, whose name Nathaniel had just discovered was Bianca, glanced nervously at the omega.

— Are you afraid I'm going to do something to Jake? — Nathaniel commented.

He had just said that by chance. As if his thoughts had left his mind through his mouth. But at the same time he smiled at her astonishment.

What?

You didn't want Jake to know?

— N-Not that...

— If I was going to do something to him, I'd certainly go after anyone who suspected me.

— What are you talking about?

— It seems that your friend is afraid that I'm going to kill you, since the rumours say that about me.

— What? — Jake turned to the girl seriously — Are you really talking about this?

— No! I just came here to tell him to be careful with the rumours. I would never imply anything other than that.

The omega didn't remember her showing any concern. Or rather, she seemed to have told him not to involve Jake in the rumours. Her concern was limited to the alpha, not including Nathaniel in that equation.

Nathaniel let out a laugh of pure debauchery, as well as increasing his pheromones. Bianca petrified on the spot, her hands clearly shaking.

— I don't care if Jake believes the rumours or not. And if you're worried about him that much, I suggest you keep your mouth shut if you don't want to wake up with it full of ants.

— I-I don't... That's...

— Hey! — Jake intervened, grabbing Nathaniel's shoulders — That's not a nice thing to say. In fact, people might think you're a really bad guy.

Pushing Jake's hands away, Nathaniel sighed, keeping his composure. He was right, it wasn't a nice thing to say, but at times like that his tongue seemed to take on a life of its own. To make matters worse, that sea wave was only getting bigger in his chest.

— I don't know this girl so she can tell me what I should or shouldn't do. Are you begging me to be a real villain?

— Nobody is asking that of you, Nathaniel. People just want to gossip about someone, and that doesn't make you a villain. Doesn't it, Bianca?

Ah... That wave was only growing. It wouldn't be long before it became a huge tsunami.

A tsunami that would destroy everything in its path. Massacring feelings without leaving a trace. Or perhaps it would just abandon the ruins of his feelings as proof that what had been built there shouldn't exist.

A jealousy that destroyed newborn affection.

Why was Jake on her side?

From the moment he saw the two of them together, that strange feeling accompanied him all day. Deep down Nathaniel knew Jake was right, but the anger he felt was uncontrollable.

"— You're going to change me, are you? Is Coach Potter better than me? How ungrateful!"

His stomach churned instantly at the memory. Ah, so that's how that person felt that time? Nathaniel thought it was just a joke, as usual, but it was surprising when he saw him cry when he got drunk and said those words.

The fear of being abandoned.

It would be better if he stayed away.

He shouldn't make any more trouble. For anyone.

Nathaniel was about to turn his back on those two, leave without saying another word and withdraw into his own insignificance. That is, until he heard that.

— Hm? Yes, of course. I just wanted to say that because of what he had with that fighter, Ares, people might misunderstand your relationship and spread more rumours.

The straw dissipated all thoughts of the omega.

The tsunami swallowed everything.

A lump formed in his throat.

His angry eyes widened menacingly at the girl, who petrified on the spot.

— You may be Jake's friend, but that doesn't mean you can meddle in my affairs as you please. Let alone say that name so lightly in front of me.

— Hey, mate, calm down — Jake stroked Nathaniel's shoulder, receiving a furious look.

— Don't touch me!

His blood was boiling.

Memories and more memories made his heart race, releasing his scent. He was afraid of feeling it again, that strange sensation of being swallowed by something to the point of suffocation. Like an endless nightmare that embraced him from behind, reminding him that he would never be forgiven.

It was as if he could feel the eyes of everyone around him judging him. Eyes full of criticism questioning his existence.

Why was he the only one to survive?

Why was he left alone in such a frightening world?

It was a lie!

It was a lie when he thought he could handle it all alone.

He couldn't.

The weight of judgement was too much.

— I'm sorry — Nathaniel whispered with his head down — for being the only one to survive.

And in the midst of that cold despair, a cosy warmth enveloped him. The woody scent calmly dispelled that suffocating sensation.

Blinking dazedly, Nathaniel realised that Jake was hugging him tightly. They were so close together that even the alpha's heart was beating calmly, helping his own to calm down too, until they were beating in sync.

— It's okay, Nathaniel. If the whole college wants to make you out to be the villain, then I'll be your accomplice. No-one would stop us, don't you think?

How embarrassing.

Nathaniel was overreacting in front of Jake. How was he going to face him after raising my voice like that?

The alpha's embrace was so cosy. So warm and cosy that Nathaniel wanted to stay there for longer. Timidly, the omega squeezed the alpha's arm, murmuring loud enough for only Jake to hear.

— I don't want to be the villain.

— Be what you want to be, Nathaniel. If everyone judges you, I'll be there to help you face the world.

Maybe Jake was a saint in his past life. Or some hero from a planet in another galaxy, who saved his world and was reincarnated. Nathaniel only pondered whether he should rebuild the ruins of that affection.

Because if he did, they would be bigger and stronger.