Ecstasy 3

"Do you think our children would be best friends too?" a woman with long straight hair that had fallen over shoulders wearing a purple nightgown which was tied at the waist had said to another woman who stood there besides her wearing a pink nightgown but with her brown hair up in a bun and two strings on each side of her face hanging down.

"I hope so, they shouldn't have to go through the trouble of being alone" She responded, "They'll always have each other." The lady in the pink nightgown places her hand through the other woman's arm resting her head on her shoulder.

"I hope they'll be more happy than us" The other responds with a sad tone of voice as she holds her tears back, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I love you." She responds with a smile on her face as tears begin to roll down both of their faces. They had looked down at two babies one a boy and the other a girl both wrapped in a blanket fast asleep.

It wasn't easy for them to love each other, it was hard to accept them because it had only been frowned upon and wasn't legal for them two to be together. Forced into marriages they still had an empty feeling inside. You've done nothing wrong raising me, you have always protected me from him, even the amount of hits and bruises that could have been; I wish I could make you proud of me. I don't know how much further I can go, the things inside my head and the voices around, the big target on my back which seems to only ever get bigger; I just want to get better. The yelling and fighting moments I have as a 10 year old boy trying to get his father off his mother after so many beatings, I don't want to make you disappointed like how you were with him. I am holding on by this very thin thread which only seems to ever get thinner between the soul that my body is connected to. It was to snap every so often to the point where I could rest at ease…but…would everyone be the same? Is it so selfish of me to want everyone to go away? To have those thoughts that cause me nothing but pain to finally be quiet, to finally have that moment where I feel like I could breathe without the constant feeling guilty conscious of thinking I could be bothering someone; I'm sorry.

"Hey, wake up" My eyes slowly open as my vision once again is nothing but a blur, I slowly raise my hand to my cheek feeling it wet and realizing I had cried in my sleep. I look to my right seeing Jule sitting on my bed facing me with her hand on my arm and a worried look, she places her other hand on my forehead noticing I was burning up. "Are you okay? You don't look so good" she feels my cheek and reaches for her phone in her pocket typing something but I couldn't see exactly what it was, everything felt so disoriented and I just wanted to close my eyes to fall into a deep sleep.

"I'm fine, I just" I responded, my voice was raspy and unable to speak louder than a whisper, my throat felt like it was closing up "I need water please." she nodded then placed her phone to her ear and went down stairs her voice beginning to sound distant and dull. I don't know what happened. I was just fine yesterday, maybe it's finally my body giving up on me…but I don't know if I can leave yet.

"Here," She sits back down next to me and helps me sit up, I felt so overheated but yet so cold "I called your mom and she said to stay home, and I am going to stay with you too." She puts the glass to my lips and helps me take a sip, I can't let her miss school just because I couldn't take care of myself.

"It's okay, you should go" my voice felt like it was going away and I could barely speak, "You can't miss school, what if something happens and we both end up failing the class. One of us at least needs to go." She stares at me for a moment thinking then gets up from my bed.

"Fine, only because we need to go to college together and we can't afford failing" She walks out the room for a moment then comes back handing me some pills in an orange bottle "These should help with the fever, you could just have a cold so just rest okay? Adonis gets off school around 1 today so he'll be home to help you with anything you need. I'll make sure he does." She gives me a small hug goodbye then waves to me as she leaves my door once again, I feel like being sick just adds to my guilt but I know it shouldn't. It's not like it could be helped and she only wants to help me get better. 

"I think, I'll be fine if I just sleep it off" I mumble to myself then lay back down closing my eyes, I don't have much memory after that besides feeling the overheated sensation and wanting to cry. All the memories of him still haunt me even in my dreams, he never goes away.

"Hello?" Adonis walks in through the door looking around checking if anyone else was home, "Azul? I brought you some medicine from the drug store and some tea bags I guess" He holds a white plastic bag in his hand at the door way taking off his shoes then closing the door behind him "I don't even know why Jule made me get you more tea when we already had some here" He mumbles to himself, "Azul!" He walks up the stairs heading to my room which had stayed cracked open from Jule leaving, he peeks through seeing me lay there covered in my blanket sweating, dying of heat but feeling so cold. 

I felt like I wasn't asleep but also I was, my eyes felt heavy and all that was in my head was horrible memories which I wish would go away already. He removed the blanket from my head and placed it right beneath my chest. He felt my head and cheek , his hands were so cold from being outside. I place my hand over his, holding it against my cheek a bit longer feeling something other than the heat which felt so nice, he looks at me confused and tries to move his hand away slowly slipping it out of my grasp. He gets up and goes down the hall to get a small towel wetting it in cold water folding it then taking it to me to place on my head, it had calmed me down from the heat but it didn't feel like enough; I look around with my hand to feel that cold sensation again grabbing his hand once more to put against my cheek.

"Don't do this to me Azul," he whispers, "I need to make you something to eat, let me go" It begin to feel to cold my body removing any warmth I had from the blanket and clothing, I moved his hand away and threw the towel off my head and onto the floor.

"It's too cold," I reach out to grab where the end of the blanket was but I grab Adonis by the end of his shirt pulling him down to me.

"Azul, that's not the blanket" he says looking away, he held himself up above me as I cling onto his shirt, he had a soft thick blue shirt with a black jacket with wool inside I could feel the heat projecting off him "I'll cover you up just let go," I tug on him again pulling him closer as he loses his stance his body pressing up against mine, I could feel his warmth on my body and some sort of comfort I strangely like. 

"Warm" my mind went blank and I finally felt like I was able to sleep.

"Azul, please don't lead me on" he says looking at me with a sort of fear in his eyes but also looking if he was in some sort of pain. It felt like I had slept for only a few minutes but even so I haven't been able to sleep well for so long. I open my eyes, my vision focusing after a few seconds and I see something next to me.

"Adonis" I had my arm wrapped around him, both of us laying on our side facing each other, my leg was over him, our bodies so close I didn't know what to do I looked down his arm around me having still a grasp on me like he didn't want to let me go.

"Goodmorning…."