CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY FOUR

I listen to Logan explain his feelings over the years and the guilt he's been carrying around since he committed the murder.

Realizing now, that his mother lied to him and by the angry glint in his eyes, he's nowhere near forgiving her.

As much as I understand his pain I can't support him, because I would have done the same thing to save my child, from a life, like the one his mother saved him from, or didn't he want saving?

With his head turned away from me, I stared at his face from the side.

The way he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw, I knew if I had to say something, he would want me to say, that I agree with him.

Leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, he finally turns his head in my direction, with a small smile on his lips.

Looking away briefly, before sitting up and turning to me.

"You know I won't get angry if you don't agree with me, right?" He asks softly, already aware that I felt different about mom's choices.

I reached across and palmed his face, staring him straight in the eye, his overnight stubble, tickling the palms of my hands.

"If I didn't have your baby growing inside me, I might have felt differently" I said, looking away from his eye to his lips. "But now" I paused, reverting my eyes to his. "I would kill to protect my child and I would kill to protect you." I said softly, hoping that Logan doesn't take timeout from me again, for telling him how I felt.

Palming my face now, Logan stares into my eyes with so much intensity, taking one hand off my cheek and placing it on my tummy, he leans his forehead on mines.

"I would have done the same to protect my son, even if it's family." Logan agrees, whispering softly, close to my ear. "I owe my mother a huge apology" he grimaces.

Chuckling softly, "an a whole lot of love." I reminded him, that it was all about her love for him.

Palming my cheeks again with both hands, Logan reaches down and kisses me, slowly and softly at first, before he deepens the kiss, his lips travelling from my lips to my neck, weakening my senses, my body melting in his arms.

"I've missed you so much," Logan whispers against my neck, sucking, which is sure to leave marks later.

Lifting me gently from the sofa, Logan carried me bridal style, securing the door behind us, before laying me gently on the bed, stripping himself before undressing me and it felt like this is the first time all over again.

Logan was lying face down, the sheet he covered us with before falling asleep dropping on his hips, revealing a new tattoo on his forearm? How did I miss this?

I was shocked to see Logan's and my face staring back at me.

Logan had a tattoo of himself on his upper arm with another one, the same size, of me just below his. He even had it colored.

Tears stung my eyes as I started tracing the outline of the tattoos.

When did he do this? It must have pained so much and Logan never mentioned it.

I felt ashamed for asking if he would cheat on me. Who would go with a woman while having another woman tattoo on his body.

I wish I had the stamina for this type of pain to honor him in the same way, but alas, I can't, at least not now.

"It's incomplete" Logan mutters, with his eyes closed, he turned his head in my direction, he feels me tracing the outline of the tattoos.

Leaning my chin on his arm, "it seems perfect," I tell him, tracing light kisses on his bare arm.

I moved to get up and Logan was quick enough to throw a leg over me, holding me down.

"I'm hungry" I whispered, throwing an arm over his bare back, caressing his muscles and tracing the tattoos he's gotten over the years.

Moving to sit up, I stopped him, "you don't have to get up right away," I tell him.

Chuckling, "yeah, I have too." He says.

"I need to use the bathroom, I need to see mom and above all, I'm hungry!" He sits up, wiping his still sleepy face, yawning again.

"But you haven't had enough rest," I whined, in complaint.

Throwing himself backwards against the pillows, "well, I guess I will just have to get an early night." He say and I smiled in surprise.

"You're staying in tonight?" I couldn't help the joy I felt at his words.

Nodding, he rose up again, "yeah, I think Justin needs a night out and for you and I to prepare breakfast when he returns in the morning." Logan explained and my smile dropped unconsciously dropped off my face.

I moved to get off the bed, but Logan held unto my arm.

Staring me directly in the eye, "Jamie, what happened between you and Justin?" Logan asked outrightly, stunning me, by his directness.

I looked away and Logan took that as a bad sign.

"Did he hurt you in anyway?" Logan persisted by questioning me further and I kept my eyes downwards, on Logan's chest.

Lifting my eyes nervously to face him, "Logan I have a confession to make and I've kept it for so long, that I am afraid to say anything now. Justin would hate me, but I made a promise and I thought things would have worked out by now, but it hasn't." I kept rambling and by Logan's confused expression, I know that he's totally lost.

Holding unto my shoulders, Logan held me in a firm grip.

"Take your time and start over." Logan says firmly, encouraging me to start over, but I am so afraid.

Nodding, I look down, taking a deep breath, hoping Logan don't get angry for what I know.