Chapter 2.2: Little White Flower

I remember a dream I had years ago.

Spring. I laid on a field of dandelions under a tree to catch some Zs after a long day of plowing the field. My hands were sore and bruised from all the work. I dreamt of a scenery so lovely. An endless field of grass surrounding a little white flower. Bees buzzing. Crickets chirping. I rest my body beneath the soil, feeling the wind's cool blow wrapping around my petals and its gentle breaths whispering into my ear. I felt the warm welcome of sunrise shining down on my face. I felt like a pale vampire basking in the sun, one last time. I opened my eyes to a clear blue sky. I stared deep into space, questioning, "Can the world ever be this peaceful?"

This feeling so soothing, so heavenly, why can't I live life this way? If only the world was this peaceful.

Thump!

A cheeky little lamb jumped on my stomach, waking me up.

"Ouch!"

And the dream ended there. I felt a painful, itchy sensation on stomach. I rubbed it a little to ease the pain.

"Baa! Baa!"

The baby lamb bleated. I held it close to my chest as it squirmed. I couldn't find its teats, so I could tell it's a male.

"Where'd you come from, little guy? Did you get out the pen?"

I imagined he wandered off when father took the flock for a stroll. The little rascal bounced around, baaing. He climbed up my shoulders to rest. He must've been tired trying to find his family. It was getting late. I cradled him on my shoulders on the way home.

I ran into mother just a few alens away, hanging the clothes she washed this morning. She gazed at the clothes I wore as an infant. She grew a smile. Her eyes began to narrow, they were about to tear up. You could tell by her facial expression how much she dearly misses those days. Mother is a gorgeous woman. With her pearly white skin, long blonde hair, and big blue eyes, and a voice so gentle and soft, she could easily be mistaken for a princess.

I rushed to greet her.

"Oh my! What do we have here?"

She gently pet the lamb after drying her hands.

"This little rascal woke me up from a wonderful dream!" I complained.

"Baa!"

The little lamb bleated.

"Tee-hee!"

I heard mother let out a soft chuckle. Embarrassed, she hid her face. I stared blankly at her face, appreciating her beauty. Even the lamb could agree mother was the fairest in the land. She kneeled down to pick up one of my damp baby clothes. She held it in front of me, with the front facing her.

"You grew up so fast, son," she said out of the blue.

She continued with, "Oh! It saddens me to give this away. Though, I think someone else would need it more than we do. I'm sure it would be a huge help to them."

Mother put on an smile, striving to fight her tears. She was always so kind-hearted and generous. It made me curious what generosity means to her. What is generosity?

She claimed, "it's gracefully giving away the things you love, because you think other people would need it more."

"You should bring him back to his family now, I'm sure they're really worried."

She dried her hands before giving me a big warm hug. She gently kissed me on the forehead and sent me off.

I make my way to the barn just behind our house. While heading there, I saw father in the distance, leading the sheep inside the pen. I grew excited to see him. I rushed all the way there. The little lamb could barely hold on as I was dashing towards my father.

"Father!"

He glanced at my direction. His heart must've rushed when he saw me racing towards him.

"Raff?"

"Father!"

He was over-joyed to see me. He opened his arms wide and squeezed me in his arms. He lifted me up, and laughed with me. I loved father, and he loved me too. His white beard tickles me whenever he kissed me on the cheek. The lamb kept butting in our father-son moment.

"Ahh! I see you've made a friend," he said to me.

He took the lamb and cradled him in his arms, and continues with, "I'm glad he came home safe and sound."

He brought him back to his family. The lamb immediately ran to his mother. They were happy to see him again. Father finished getting the rest of sheep inside, and closed the gate. Suddenly, he fell to his knees and started to cough blood.

Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp!

I was frightened. My eyes grew wide and my entire body was shaking. I panicked and went to get help.

"Mother! Mother!"

Mother came as soon as she heard screaming. She rushed towards father curled up on his knees. She knelt down to support father until he regained his strength. She pulled out the napkin from her pocket and wiped the blood on his face.

"I'm fine, my dear. Thank you."

Father smiled and slowly stood up.

"You should really be careful, dear," mother scolded father.

Though father regained his strength, I was still shaking in fear. Father had a condition where his blood could not clot properly resulting in spontaneous and uncontrolled bleeding when injured. He recently injured the inside of his chest while working, causing his body to bleed around his lungs and coughing. As the days passed, he became weaker. That is the reason why I chose to work on the field, to prevent father from receiving anymore cuts and bruises.

"Son, could you please hang the rest of the clothes while I take your father inside?" Mother asked.

I was spacing out, but I nodded in response. Mother walked father home to get some rest. Still zoned out, I finished hanging the clothes. I couldn't help but dream of father waking up strong and healthy one day and the fun memories we'd make together.

I went back inside the house. As I entered the kitchen, father was sitting on his chair wrapped in a blanket, enjoying his supper.

"Son."

Father called me to sit beside him. I had a feeling he would talk to me about something. I shivered from anxiety, wondering what he'd say. I stood in front of him with my head facing the floor. He pulled me closer and hugged me. He then invited me for supper. I sat on the chair on father's right. Mother served me a hot bowl of my favorite pumpkin stew and sat on the chair beside father on his left. I tasted the stew, and as usual, it was delicious.

"Son."

Father held my hand. His' felt cold.

"Yes, father?" I replied.

"How old are you?" He asked.

I was confused. Despite father knowing my age, I replied.

"Eight years old."

"Ahh, so you've still got a long road ahead."

I was left puzzled. Father finished his supper.

He continued with, "Raff, son, refuse to leave this world without doing good. People may forget the good you do for them today, but do good anyway. Your best may not be enough to please the world, but do your best anyway. In the end, doing good is good."

"Father, I'm so confused," I said

He smiled and said, "You were always a curious child. Whenever you had a question, you'd turn the world upside down to find an answer."

He continued with, "I want you to go out into the world and live your life. I want you to meet new people and make new friends. I want you to learn new things and teach them to others. I want you to see new places and taste new foods."

He pulled me close for a hug.

"My time in this world is coming to an end. You've still got yours to live. Don't settle for a simple life here in the farm, at least not while you're still healthy and young," he said.

I glance over to mother. I could see it in her face, just the thought of me growing up and leaving saddens her. Even so, she agreed with father. She wanted me to have a happy and exciting life. We ended the conversation with a hug, all three of us. I finished supper and went to my bed. I closed my eyes, forgetting all my problems, pretending everything will be alright. Then, the time came by. Father is dead. I woke up the next morning without saying goodbye.

Father, I'm sorry. If I could only take your pain from you, I would. If I could only make the pain go away... I love you.