i recall it

my time on earth had been nothing but a gauntlet. hard to-dos after hard to-dos, losing friendship after losing friendship, and more and more becoming at home. 🏡

somehow i never thought that the stars would remain. freeing myself more and more out from the constraints, i harken unto the losing as of a necessary letting go. my mother, down to my last lover, all begat my leaving them.

i am full of sorrow, but somehow unclaimed. suzeanna's ✨ awakening continues as i search myself for all my horror. full of chagrin, i press on into me. what is my one wish? how may i obtain that which cannot be tarnished?