I have something to tell you

Nazreen closed the door behind him and stood by the door waiting for Hidayah to call him closer. The woman was huddled up with her face facing down on her knees. Nazreen remained at the door giving the woman in front of him time to arrange her thoughts.

After two minutes, the woman was still pegged in the same position. Suddenly she looked up and patted the bed on her left side. Nazreen slowly moved towards the bed. When he stopped by the bed, Hidayah looked up again straight into his eyes and patted on the bed again. She then moved to her right to free up more space for Nazreen to sit.

Nazreen took a seat by her side facing her.

"I…" she whispered. Her heartbeat rate was increasing. Calm down! She had to remain calm. "I…" Get a grip! She mentally slapped herself and closed her eye, took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"I have something to tell you…" Nazreen suddenly voiced out. Shock jolted through her. Was he going to say that he no longer wants to stay married? She hoped he would… but at the same time, she felt disappointed. Why wouldn't he want to stay married? Am I not good enough?

When he saw the confusion in her eyes, Nazreen couldn't help but to stare at her and reached out to her hands. He gripped her hands in his and squeezed it tight. "I have something to tell you first."

She looked into his eyes. Hoping that he would give her some respite with a request for separation. He deserves better but she doesn't want to be the one to break his heart if any…

"Hidayah, do you remember the first time we met?" He asked.

Hidayah nodded her head.

"Well, the very first time I saw you that night, we were in the lift on our way out for the evening. The first time I met you, you took my breath away… I thought to myself, 'God, she's hot!' and when I met you again that night, I was astounded. I mean, albeit the circumstances, I get to meet you again."

Nazreen squeezed Hidayah's hand and smiled.

"When you asked me to marry you, I nearly shouted yes! You have no idea how happy I was. Surprised mostly… 'Is this woman crazy?'"

Hidayah giggled when she thought back to that night after Nazreen uttered his last sentence.

"And I do not regret my decision that night. I was really disappointed and angry after you left the next morning. I mean, how can you leave a handsome husband like that?"

At that, both of them gave out a small laugh.

"After you left, I got my boys to help with investigating you. Who you are, where you came from, your family, your past boyfriends… You don't have a long list which was strange, I mean, a beautiful woman like you, how could no one be attracted to you?"

"Because I didn't see the benefit of having any…" she replied softly with her head tilted to the left, resting her head on her shoulder. Her lips upturned and her wet eyes shining bright like black pearls.

"So, marrying me was beneficial?" He asked.

"Yes!" She knew her meaning at that point of time was just a mean to escape from the predicament. But now it seems to have changed. Truthfully, deep inside, she has fallen for him too…

"So can we work this out together? I love you, Hidayah Loh Mei Ling. It may sound ridiculous since we didn't interact much but from the very first moment I laid my eyes on you, my heart beats so fast, my breath got stuck in my chest and I knew you were meant to be mine…" Nazreen pulled her hands closer and bent his head down, kissed them lingering longer before looking up to look into her eyes.

Hidayah gulped her saliva down her throat. She knew she wants to stay with him but she was scared. Scared if he will walk away now. She tried to pull her hands away from him but his warmth was giving her courage which she really needed.

"Nazreen…" she said out his name, so soft it sounded like a whisper, "there's something I need to tell you" she tightens her grip on his hands and took a deep breath.

"I'm dying…" she closed her eyes after saying it out. So scared to see his expression. She could feel his gaze on her face but she remained closing her eyes.

She could hear his breathing quicken. She knew he wanted to say something but he was hesitant.

"I have a tumour that is lodged on the left side of my brain. The doctor said I will not be able to cure it. Surgery is risky but it won't solve the issue…"

Unable to bear his gaze any further, Hidayah bent her head to hide her face. Her hands were still gripped by Nazreen, so she could not use them to cover her face.

She suddenly felt him releasing her hands. That moment, it felt like all warmth in her dissipated. Her heartfelt so empty. She knew he would walk away…

"Hey, look at me…" she heard him say. She opened her eyes and looked up. Tears streaming down her cheeks. Nazreen wiped her tears with his thumbs while cupping her face up.