Chapter 4, Part 3: Out of the Blue

Jason McKenley (Earlier)

     It's been days since the last time I've talked to Alissa, and I still don't know how to talk to her. I don't know what to do. It kills me inside when we're like this and I can't just go spy on her like a freak. I've been following her from school, looking at her secretly at the burial, and ugh - I don't wanna keep it like that. I wanna fix this even though I'm just a friend again, it's better that way than to be a stranger forever. I thought about texting her and try to talk to her.

(6:08 PM) Me: Can we talk? I'll go there around 8 PM.

     I waited for her to reply but she didn't, so I guess that means yes. I already prepared myself and I wore my biker jacket and helmet since I'm using my motorcycle. How could I make her happy again? I just remembered that she likes chocolates so I went to the mall first to go buy some.

     I arrived at the mall and parked in the underground parking lot and went inside. I looked through the mall and found a chocolate shop. I went inside and -

     "I'm sorry sir, we're still producing some of our products at the moment and it might take a while. And most of the products displayed are already reserved."

     "Oh, is that so? Well, I'm also willing to wait, I have plenty of time so I don't really mind. How long does it take though?" I asked.

     "It'll probably take an hour sir, are you still willing to wait?" she asked.

     "Yeah, reserve me a dozen medium-sized dark chocolates. I'll just go wander around the mall."

     "Okay sir, it'll be here by then."

     I got out of the shop thinking about what I'm gonna buy next for Alissa. I really hope this would go well. I saw a flower shop nearby and went inside. There's literally a bunch of choices but I don't know which one is Alissa's favorite. She's not really picky though and she would like any of these but I don't know which one to buy. The bouquet of roses caught my eye and it seems really nice and it also smells good too.

     "Excuse me, miss. How much is this?" I asked the lady at the counter and she approached me.

     "This one, sir? It's only $30, sir."

     "Oh, okay. I'm buying it."

     "Here you go, sir," she said as she gave it to me.

     "Here, keep the change as a tip," I said as I gave her 50 bucks.

     "Thank you, sir. Have a nice day!" she said as I got out of the shop.

     I went back to the chocolate shop and 20 minutes has passed already. I just waited for the rest of the time in the shop.

     And then it's finally done.

     "Here you go sir, thanks for waiting," she said and gave me the box of chocolates.

     "How much is it?" I asked

     "Oh, it's $50, sir."

     "Uhh...here. Thanks." I said.

     "Have a nice day, sir!"

     I went out of the shop and it is currently 7:12 PM. I decided to go earlier so I could somehow surprise her with these.

     I already got out of the mall and went to the underground parking lot. I don't know how to carry these things while driving, to be honest. I just put it in my lap and accelerated my motorcycle. I just drove to their house really carefully. 

     I arrived there at 7:32 PM and I'm just chilling around a few blocks away from their house because I don't know how to approach her, like really. I just stayed there for a moment and she suddenly went out of their house heading to - a guy? She literally just sat beside the guy that is sitting on the bench of the street. I could see the guy's face even from a distance and yeah he's definitely someone new. I just stood there for like 45 minutes while holding the flowers and chocolates while watching them talking and I just sat on my motorcycle also thinking about what to do now, in this fucking situation when she's talking to a new guy. I just stood there and stared like a freaking stalker and shit, and a few moments later it looks like they're about to -- I quickly dropped the flowers and chocolates, revved up my motorcycle and I drove really fast and went straight right in front of them.

VROOOOM!

     They won't even recognize or see my face since I'm wearing a helmet and I just went straight to nowhere. I don't even know what I was doing. I just continued driving real fast, trying not to think negatively about what I just saw. Then I just pulled over at the corner of the street that is somehow dark and I just removed my helmet and cried it all out. Why, Liss? I'm such an idiot. Why do I even love someone who is afraid to fall in love with me? Why do I keep pushing myself to the one who keeps pushing me away? She literally just replaced me with someone she just knew because I know for sure that they just met recently.

     Anyone but me? Liss? Is it like that?

     I feel heartbroken even though we're not in a serious relationship together. I am just a fucking best friend and that's all it is. My surprise for Alissa completely backfired.

     I just went to a bar nearby. Had a couple of drinks just to forget all this. I totally hate myself right now. I'm all fucked up. I don't know what to do anymore, like really.

     A lady just sat beside me "Hey cutie, I'm Alexa and - you seem lonely. Wanna own me?" the lady said while biting her finger then sipped her wine with straw along with a seductive look while sipping.

     I chugged my beer and said "Go fuck someone else! Nobody wants me! Bitchy-ass-motherfucker." then she stood up quickly.

     "Ugh, whatever, stay virgin forever, dipshit," she said as she walks away then whipped her hair.

     A few moments later, I'm already tired. I decided to go home already but I don't know how to go home at this point. I'm not that dumb to go drive myself home like this. I may be drunk but I didn't lose my brain. I grabbed my phone and called dad to pick me up. And after a few minutes, my dad came.

     "Ahh - fuck! Jason, what happened to you?!"

     "Hmmm. W-what does it look like dad? I'm having fun!" I said joyfully "But I wanna go home already. I'm all fucked up. Your son is an idiot, Jacob." I said then suddenly cried.

     "Oh for fuck's sake, come on now son," he said and he grabbed me into his shoulder.

     He brought me inside the backseat of the car and I just laid there. I fell asleep for a bit, I woke up and I'm already laying down on the couch of our house.

     "Just stay there Jason, I'll just go get your motorcycle," he said then left and I fell asleep completely.