Chapter 20

"Who was on the phone Perri? Answer me!" She had gone from shock to anger really fast.

"It was Eric, Colton's big brother. We all ended up hanging out together this weekend. Jayden and him share a place. Eric and Jayden both go to Maine Media. They showed Mallory and I around the campus. Well, and Colton. He tagged along to hang out with his brother. We had so much fun! A few serious moments, they told me about a friend of theirs that disappeared. It's so sad and the funny thing is we share a birthday. I feel like that kind of dampened the mood a little, but Mallory insisted we watch Tinkerbelle as we couldn't break tradition and it turns out that was their friend's favorite movie too. So that part was kind of nice, we shared a tradition they missed. Why do you look so upset mom?"

She stared off into space for some time. Then she looked at me finally and replied. "I'm so sorry Perri. I'm suddenly feeling sick. I think I need to lay down."

"Do you need me to take you to the doctor?"

"No, no. It's probably just a bug. A little rest should fix me right up. I love you sweetie." She walked back into the house looking so lost she didn't even remember to shut the door.

It took everything in me to hold back from screaming at her and slamming the door. Instead, I softly closed it, turned away from the house, and walked next door.

Mal and I always just walked into each other's homes so that's what I did. I went straight to Mal's room and crawled into her bed. When we were younger, and my mom had emergencies I would come stay here. As we got older, and mom had to leave if I got scared or just didn't want to be alone, I would just come over walk in and crawl in bed with Mal. 

Today Mallory was on the phone when I walked in. "Hey J I gotta go babe, somethings wrong with our Perri. She needs me right now I'll call later if I can. Gotta go, love ya."

She hung up the phone and instead of just asking what was wrong she crawled in next to me and just held me as I cried. I was so tired from crying so much, I was shocked I had tears left at all anymore.

When the tears slowed, and I was able to speak again I explained what had happened between me and my mom. 

"I don't know what hurts more Mal. The fact that she canceled out on my birthday dinner or the way she just dismissed me. Gosh, I wish I could just ask her, but I'm so scared of what's going to happen next. What would you do Mal?"

"Girl, I have no idea. I really tried this weekend to see things from your perspective, but I couldn't. I probably would have called and cussed my mom out wanting answers on the spot. Then again like you said I'd be terrified of the truth and most likely too scared to meet my biological family. Heck it's a good thing you're 18 now. You could literally pick up and walk away at any time you wanted."

I suddenly sat up; Mal had inspired a small smile out of me.

"I think I have an idea. I know graduation is a big deal. I don't want to abandon you, but I feel I need to disappear for a while. I need time to sort everything out and figure out who I am. I seriously feel lost. Tomorrow morning I'm going to get up and pull myself out of school. Then I'm going to go take the GED tests. I'm a straight A student already doing some college courses I'm not afraid of failing."

"Where are you going to go Perri? What about money? You need to have a solid plan before just taking off."

"I don't have all the answers yet but now that I saw you first. I know where I need to go now to get the rest of my answers. If you need me, you know where I'll be. And Mal, thank you! You have always been there for me, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate your friendship."

"Aww, Perri, you're going to make me cry. But don't talk too much like that girl. It almost sounds like a goodbye."

"Never Mal! Not with you my favorite M&M." I said with a grin.

This time Mallory just laughed. When we were younger, we decided to find cool nicknames for each other. I came up with M&M for Mallory because her name is Mallory Mae. So, I took her initials and put them together. She hated it so it never stuck but every now and again I still liked to call her an M&M. I've always just been Perri and over the years I started calling her Mal and that one stuck.

"OK Perri. Go on off to your cave and do your thinking but promise me you won't leave without telling me where you are going or without saying goodbye when the time comes."

"I promise Mal. You will probably be the only one to know. Hey and tell Colton his idea about that science lab was a neat idea but it's not a DNA thing it's just to know our blood type. And I know my mom and I do not match. I did that test last year. I'm O, mom is AB, and she said my dad must be O. I don't know if I will see him or not otherwise, I can always call or message him too."

"You should call Eric and tell him what's going on. You don't need Colton calling him saying you disappeared again. After you tell me of course."

"Your right I should. OK you and Eric will know but that's it. I better get going. I have a lot to figure out. See you later, Mal. And Thanks again."

"You're welcome. Come find me when you sort everything out. Love ya girl."

"Love you too."

I gave her a hug and headed to my car. As I passed my house, I saw my mom through the window. She looked really upset and was pacing back and forth. I hated the fact that it felt like I was abandoning her, but I needed to do this for me. I had to figure out who I am, and I can't do that with my mom thinking I am one person and my friends expecting me to be someone else. It was time to find me.