21.

I wasn't afraid to try new things with him, even though some of the stuff we did together was completely outside of my boundaries. But those experiences stuck with me the most - that was the thing with Theo, he broke down those boundaries, and showed me a world in which nothing was ever too taboo, if it meant you were truly enjoying yourself.

I didn't sleep well that night, even though I slept much better than I would've if I stayed with Sam - the pain of his rejection didn't fade into the morning, and I woke up to my alarm, feeling drained and not ready to face the consequences of last night. I knew that I pushed him too hard, but I also knew that we were on a nervous clock, and each minute that we wasted in not trying to take our relationship to the next step added on to my frustration, until I finally broke.

And my frustration sadly cost us our love.