Chapter 1: Shattering Bonds, Silent Despair

In the depths of my memories, i couldn't help but recall the fateful day when my heart had been shattered. The weight of the words spoken, the echoes of hurtful actions, and the scars left behind served as a constant reminder of the painful past i endured.

I lay in bed, tears streaming down my face, overwhelmed with doubt and regret. The clock struck 5 a.m., and I feigned sleep, hoping no one would discover my anguish. What was the cause of my intense sorrow, you ask? It was myself, my life, and every decision I had made since the age of 13. All the happiness I had found, the flicker of hope that my family would accept me for who I am, was now crumbling before my eyes. All I could do was cry, silently, as the blows landed on my face in the dead of night. I felt utterly worthless.

Have you ever studied diligently for an exam, feeling confident you would excel, only to freeze and fail when it mattered most? That's precisely how I felt in that moment. It wasn't my parents who shattered me that day; it was my sibling, the one I had trusted wholeheartedly. I had always shielded them from our parents' wrath, listened to their problems, and supported them. But that night, they didn't return the favor. They just stood there, watching as I endured the pain. It seemed as though they took pleasure in it. It was baffling how they could break all the vows we had made to each other — to always be there, to protect one another in tough times, and never to turn against each other. Perhaps they had crossed their fingers when making those promises, for there was no other explanation for them betraying every single one and escaping unscathed.

[ Rewinding to that evening before going to bed]

I logged into my Instagram account, filled with apprehension due to a history of forgetting to log out. Fearing my sibling's prying eyes, I carefully switched accounts without logging out, unknowingly setting off a chain of events that would change my life forever. As the night progressed, my sister informed me that our mother was looking for me, raising suspicions that my secret might have been discovered.

What follows is a deeply emotional and troubling confrontation. My sister, filled with anger, questions why i'm not being punished upon seeing a photo of me wearing makeup and a wig. My mother, disapproving and driven by cultural beliefs, exits the room momentarily, only to return with a menacing wooden bat. In a heart-wrenching moment, I endured the physical abuse, unable to scream or defend myself.

Left in anguish, i was then confined to the house, forbidden from meeting friends or stepping outside. My pain remained hidden, unnoticed by others. Alone and without solace, my tears become my only release, mourning the loss of my former carefree and joyful self.

In the same hour, as my tears poured forth like a torrential downpour, an unfathomable revelation snatched away not only my reverence and affection for my sister but also the essence of my being. I transformed into a mere vessel, devoid of soul and emotions, stripped of hunger and senses. I became nothing more than a hollow shell, drifting aimlessly through the vast emptiness of existence.

Days turned into weeks, then into months, since that fateful incident, and an unsettling stillness settled upon the days that followed. It was as if time itself had agreed to cloak the truth, allowing everyone to carry on with their lives as if nothing had transpired. And who could blame them? For in the wake of that heart-wrenching event, it was I who bore the weight of victim-hood, enduring an unyielding torrent of pain, wounded time and time again, while those around me remained blissfully unaware or simply indifferent. Their footsteps continued on, forging ahead without a second thought, as if my world had come to a halt in that very moment, frozen in a state of eternal despair.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘹𝘪𝘤 𝘬𝘪𝘯, 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦,

𝘚𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘨𝘦, 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦.

𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘻𝘦, 𝘪 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘢𝘳,

𝘞𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘦, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦'𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘰𝘮 𝘪 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦.