walk on out

she waited patiently for him to wake, as his eyes fluttered open she reached for his hand.

he saw her and turned his head to the window.

"amy I let you down....I'm such a loser I'd understand if you cant be with me...I'm a complete mess"

she shook her head "si I would never leave you...you'd be the same you'd stay with me no matter what"

he loosened his hand and shouted "amy your not me are you?think about the kids am I fit am I? to be around innocent kids and you? can you handle my beast inside huh amy?CAN YOU ???THE FUCK YOU CAN GET OUT"

He stood up grabbing the window ledge for support.

he felt deep anguish he couldn't deal with his family right now,his position was questionable.

his stability of mind slipping dangerously into an abyss of destruction.

how could he drag amy and the kids into this?

she stood walking slowly towards him and rubbed his tense muscles

"simon do you think I will leave you alone in this? we can get through this I'm here and come what may I'm here"

he turned to her a sight of the simon she loathed "you want this? a messed up child of a man an obsessive,overbearing and angry control freak ....I dont think so amy buns that your tiny brain can handle this,I'm a trafficked child a raped little boy what do you want?"

she backed up frightened..he stalked forward gripping her neck and plundered her mouth hungrily with anger.

she pushed him off tears escaping fast her held her at arms length "see amy this is the problem you take on too much..please just go I will call you tomorrow "

she was in a trance she lifted her hand and went to slap him he caught her hand and threw it to her side.

he said roughly "get out amy,before I do something we both regret "

she spun round leaving in a rush wanting nothing to do with this simon.

he broke down screaming and throwing many things until the nurses came to restrain him and he fell into darkness once more.

amy arrived to an empty house Noah was staying at his grandparents for the week her mum missed him since they moved out.

so amy could think about the future and what it holds but right now it seemed pointless,had she lost him forever?

she got a drink and sat at the computer playing the last CD of the sessions he had...this one was very different from the others...he looked different his face showed immense rage...a distorted smile was on his lips as he confessed what he did as a 14 year old boy.

he seemed to enjoy the power he had over the man whom had harmed him many times.

he described how he stabbed his genitals and ripped his nails off one at a time.

horrified she paused it.

the man certainly deserved severe punishment but it scared her how strong willed he was.

how powerful he was even at a young age.

what if he harmed them how could she ever resist?

maybe he was right maybe she was too weak.

with that thought she laid on the sofa and slept in torment.