88. Chapter 88

The moment the bedroom door was shut behind them, Derek stepped up behind Meredith and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. He pressed his nose into the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply. "I love you."

She relaxed at his touch and leaned back against him. Her fingers closed around his forearms. "Mmm, you too."

He pressed one, two, three kisses to the soft skin at the crook of her neck and shifted to rest his chin there, rubbing his cheek against hers.

She pressed her cheek against his. "You're awfully clingy all of a sudden."

"I'm happy."

"Me too."

"I'm really, really happy," he added. "You're here. Things seem to be going well." Although the conversation that afternoon had centered mainly around him and his embarrassing moments growing up, he had enjoyed himself. Because she had enjoyed herself. She had been bright and happy the whole time. Dinner had been casual. A barbeque. Outside. He had watched her interact with the kids. She had been hesitant at first, but had been great with them. A natural. And even though he knew it was a long time away, he couldn't help but picture her with their kids. It made his chest ache because it was the last piece of the puzzle. Then he would have everything he could possibly want.

"Things are going well," she agreed. "Better than I expected." She paused, clutching at his arms a little tighter. "They're really nice. And they...they really seem to want to like me."

"They do like you," he assured. "I'm sorry I left you alone today."

"It's okay."

"I never meant for it to be so long."

Meredith turned in his arms, snaking her arms around his neck. "Really, Derek, it's okay. I think maybe it was good, actually. It forced me to...take the jump, or whatever."

He raised an eyebrow. "Jumping without me now?"

"I think sometimes I have to jump by myself." Her eyes welled, but she smiled. "Just not the big jumps. Those I save for you."

He kissed her. "Good."

She leaned back in his arms. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything."

"Your sister and Nathan... I don't want to push, but I feel like everyone else knows something I don't..."

He sighed and kissed her again, before releasing her and moving to sit on the bed, leaning up against the headboard. Without him having to say anything, she followed, curling up against him in a position that mirrored that of their talk the night before.

"Lauren's been a single mom for a long time. Emily's father..." He shook his head. "Lauren met him in her last year of college. They moved in together. He was...harsh. We didn't like him, but she loved him. She stopped coming to family events because he didn't want her to. He made her drop out of medical school, but we didn't know until she found out she was pregnant. Then she came home one day and he was gone. She was devastated. Didn't want anyone to know." He shook his head as he recalled finding his sister that day, almost ten years ago. After she hadn't made it to the umpteenth family gathering in a row, and wasn't answering his calls, he had gone looking for her.

She had answered the door pale and dishevelled, and he had had to push her to tell him what was wrong. She had sobbed in his arms as she told him she was pregnant and alone. That she hadn't been in school for months. He had helped her pack up her things, and he had taken her home. She had stayed with him and Addison for months.

"She stayed with us for a few months. And then he came back and asked her to take him back. Said he had made a mistake. She was about seven months pregnant, and didn't want to raise a baby alone. She took him back, despite how much we pushed her not to. She moved back in with him, had Emily. Things seemed to be okay. And then when Emily was almost a year old, she showed up on my doorstep." He paused as his jaw clenched in anger. "He'd been hurting her for months, years probably. And when he turned his anger towards Emily, she snapped and finally left him for good."

"That's horrible."

"Yeah... I wanted to kill him. Mark and I, and Shane, paid him a visit. Threatened him." He shrugged. "We never saw him again."

"That's very big brother-y of you."

He smiled, but sobered quickly. "She's my little sister. The fact that some man thought he could get away with hurting her... It's not right. I hate that she stayed for as long as she did. She should have been out of there the first time he hit her. She should have known, from the beginning, that she had people to go to. I don't know why she didn't."

Meredith squeezed his hand. "Maybe she didn't think it was a problem. It was probably a one time thing that became a two time thing that kept happening. It's usually a gradual thing. And if she loved him, she probably thought he didn't really mean it; that he would change."

Derek shook his head. "We failed her, in letting her put up with it for so long. We should have noticed sooner. We should have made sure she knew she had a place to go."

Meredith lifted her head from his shoulder to meet his eyes. "She knew because she went to you. It had to be her choice." She offered him a small smile, but ended it by biting down on her lower lip, a sure sign that she had more to say, but was hesitant about telling him.

"What?"

"You shouldn't blame yourself. You're too close to it. She probably knew she had people to go to if something was wrong, but didn't really think anything was wrong. Sometimes it takes something bigger to realize there's a problem." Although her eyes continued to meet his, they flickered. And she bit down on her lower lip again.

The breath was sucked out of him as he realized what she wasn't saying. "Meredith..."

She shook her head quickly. "It's not what you think. It wasn't...like what your sister went through or anything."

"What happened?" He asked softly, running his hand up and down her spine.

"It was in college. I was sort of seeing this guy. We had friends in common. He'd get...rough, especially when he was drinking. He never...beat me, or anything. He'd just get mad and...grab my arm, or push me. He only actually hit me a few times."

Derek seethed. "I'll kill him. Give me his name."

She shook her head and leaned in to kiss him. "That's not important. The point is, it wasn't until he left a bruise on my cheek bone that I realized what was happening. Yes, I should have stayed away from him after the first time he grabbed my arm, but it wasn't until I was looking myself in the mirror, trying to cover the bruise with makeup, that I realized I was better than that."

He pulled her against his chest and hugged her tight. "You are far better than that. And I love you. Which is why I want to kill him."

She pulled back far enough to meet his eyes again. "That's very chivalrous of you. But the point I'm trying to make is that I get it. You think you're not going to be 'that girl,' but things happen. And sometimes it takes a while to realize. And when your sister realized, she went to you."

"I guess."

"Are you worried about Nathan?"

"She's dated a couple times. But never anything serious. I don't want her to get hurt again. The fact that she felt the need to keep it from me worries me." Lauren had been adamant during their conversation in the driveway that Nathan was a good guy, that she loved him and that it was different this time. She promised Derek that she would never let herself fall into the same situation she had been in. She had also made Derek promise to give Nathan a chance, to withhold judgment until he had gotten to know him. Derek had spent the rest of the afternoon casually ignoring the other man, all the while actively watching him out of the corner of his eye.

She nodded. "He seems like a good guy. He was good with Emily."

"He does seem okay. But would she come to me if something went wrong again?"

"She would," Meredith assured. "She'd recognize the signs immediately if they happened again. I know I would."

Derek trailed his fingers across her cheekbone, and then down the length of her hair. "I'd never hurt you." He knew she knew it, but felt the sudden need to tell her. She was sitting in his arms, being open and trusting with him, and he wanted to tell her. It was such an impossible thought; that anyone would ever hurt her, that anyone would ever take their anger out on their partner in a physical manner.

She cupped his face with her hands and smiled. "Trust me, Derek, I know that. There isn't a doubt in my mind about that."

He smiled. "I love you, Meredith, so much."

Meredith sighed and closed the distance between them, laying her head against his shoulder and tucking her face into the crook of his neck. "I love you too. So much."

He ran his hand up and down her spine for several minutes, enjoying the silence of simply being near her.

"This is nice," Meredith eventually whispered against his skin.

"Mmm-hmm," he agreed.

"The whole thing, I mean," she added.

"What whole thing?"

"This. Being here with you. It's...easier than I thought."

"I told you."

"I know you did. But I'd never done this before, or anything remotely close to this. They're really nice. And this is all so...normal. It's nice. I've never had normal before."

"That's because you're so not normal."

She giggled. "Like you're one to talk."

"How am I not normal?"

She lifted her head to meet his eyes. Hers were sparkling. "How many other neurosurgeons do you know that own a trailer? Or that live with three interns?"

"Residents," he corrected.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "For like a day."

"Still."

"You're an idiot. And you're not normal."

"So I'm an abnormal idiot?"

She giggled again. "Yup."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I feel like we've gotten a little of topic... We were talking about you and how not normal you were."

"I'm not," she agreed easily. "But this is. You meet someone, you fall in love, and you have to meet their family. It's...normal. The last year, the good stuff at least, has been amazing, but I've always felt like we were doing things...not normal. This feels normal. And that's kind of awesome."

Derek felt his brow furrow, trying to make sense of what she was telling him. "We haven't done anything the wrong way."

"I know. Just...different."

"Different than what?"

"Normal."

He chuckled. "You've lost me."

She smiled and leaned in to peck his lips. "I just like feeling normal for a change."

"Even though you're here with an abnormal idiot neurosurgeon who owns a trailer and lives with three residents?"

She laughed and nodded. "Even so. Though, I've been thinking about the living with three residents part."

"What do you mean?"

"Well...we agreed to wait until I was done my internship until we talked about...things. And, well, internship officially over." She waved a hand for emphasis.

"So, you want to talk about things."

She nodded. "You've been very patient to put up with them for so long. And I love them, they're my family, but I...I think it's time to...move on."

"And by move on you mean?"

"Move out."

He smiled. "You want us to move out?"

"I do." She returned his smile. "I think it's time. The house is...great, but I want to start fresh. Somewhere that's memory free. So, we can buy a house or rent an apartment or...build a house on your land. Whatever. I'm game."

Derek felt his heart swell at her words. She was so sure, so confident. It was something he hadn't seen in her very often; the complete certainty. Going to New York without her had nearly broken his heart, but as he met her bright eyes now, he knew everything that had happened between them had been for the best. Because it had led to this. They had been tested; had been strained. And they had come out the other side all the better for it.

"Building a house will take a long time," he said, thinking out loud. "Plus, it'll be easier to live in town for the next few years."

"Then we can start looking for a place when we get back to Seattle."

"If you're really serious about this whole 'normal' thing, we can find a house with a white picket fence."

She swiped a hand at his chest. "Don't make fun of me. I think a white picket fence is a little too normal for us."

"Agreed," he said, through his laughter, though he couldn't make himself care that much about the details. He hadn't minded all that much living with George, Izzy or Alex. It had been unique to have roommates, and being interns, they hadn't been around all that much. But the thought of having a place that he shared just with Meredith put a smile on his face. A place all their own. A place where they could build a home. "Are you going to keep the house?"

Meredith shrugged. "For now, I guess. I can't very well sell it with Alex and Izzy living in it. I can just keep renting it to them. Hell, maybe one of them will buy it in a few years..."

"Or it can just be the designated intern frat house forever."

She laughed. "I think my mother would like that; have surgeons living in her house forever."

He smiled. "Then we have a plan."

Meredith smiled back, threading her fingers through his as she tucked her face into the crook of his neck again. "A plan," she mumbled into his neck.

She relaxed in his arms, and he held her even tighter. They fell silent, and he began to think she was asleep, but she surprised him by speaking again.

"I want to get married," she murmured against him.

His fingers found the ring on her left hand. "Then it's a good thing we're engaged..."

She giggled as she lifted her head. Her eyes were sparkling, even as she glared at him.

He smirked and ducked his head to kiss her. "I want to get married too."

"Soon," she clarified. "I...I want to get married soon." She reached up a hand to run through his hair. "I love you, and I want to be your wife, Derek. I don't want to wait."

He kissed her again, before whispering, "I can't wait for you to be my wife."

"Let's just go to city hall when we get home."

It was his turn to run a hand through her hair. "I thought you wanted something...more? Something with pictures."

She met his eyes and nodded slowly. "Okay, then lets just do something quick and small. I just...don't want to wait."

"Me neither. I want to marry you yesterday."