112. Chapter 112

Cool October air breezed through the open balcony window and into the hotel bedroom. Meredith moaned as the breeze found exposed skin, and tried to burrow further under the sheets and closer to her husband's warm body. Unfortunately, the sheets had become twisted during their late night – and early morning – activities, and she was unable to find full protection from the wind. "'s cold," she complained as she pressed her face into Derek's chest.

Derek shifted to accommodate her change in position. "Cold?" He asked sleepily, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"Cold," she confirmed.

"I'm not cold," he said with a sigh, pulling her body against his.

"That's because you're a freaking oven," she told him with a sigh as she snuggled even closer. His skin was so warm against hers.

He chuckled and lifted his head to glance over her. "The balcony door is open."

"We must have left it open on our way back in," she said, unable to stifle a smirk. "We were a little distracted."

"Hmm, balcony sex. Good times."

"We'll be able to have balcony sex at home in a few weeks."

"That's a good point."

Another gust of wind entered the room, causing Meredith to shiver and pull even closer to her husband.

Derek pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder and rolled away.

"Hey," she complained. "You were the only thing keeping me warm."

"I'm just shutting the door so that you don't freeze," he said softly, as he padded naked across the small bedroom. A moment later she heard the door shut. Derek paused at the base of the bed. "Don't yell at me for doing this. It'll be better in the long run."

"What are you going to do?" She asked, before yelping as the sheets that had been lying haphazardly over parts of her body lifted away without warning. "Derek!" She cried, now completely exposed to the cold temperature of the room.

"I said not to yell at me," he said with a chuckle as he laid the sheets down evenly over the bed and her body. "It was just for a second."

She sat up, grasping the sheets to her bare chest. "I never agreed not to yell at you," she pointed out. "Now, get back in here," she demanded, "It's freezing!"

"Bossy," he retorted as he slid under the sheets and reached for her.

"Mean," she countered.

He pulled her snug against his chest, wrapped his arms around her and draped a leg over hers. His hand ran lazy circles along her back. Meredith sighed in content as his warmth permeated her chilled body. She pressed her face into the crook of his neck, closed her eyes and inhaled. He always made her feel so safe. If she could, she'd bottle this feeling and take it with her everywhere she went. She smiled and almost laughed at the thought.

"What?" He asked softly, having felt her body tense as she tried not to laugh at her own embarrassing thoughts.

"Nothing," she said back. He already knew he had ignited a corny, mushy side of her; he didn't need to know just how successful he had been.

"Getting warmer?"

"Mmm, yes." She snaked her arm under his and rested her palm against his spine. "I love that you're always so warm."

"Well, I love that you're always so cold. It's a good excuse to press up against you."

She giggled. "I didn't know we needed an excuse."

He pulled back just far enough to capture her lips with his. "I'll keep that in mind for the future," he whispered after kissing her breathless.

"Okay with me," she panted.

Rolling towards her, he pressed her onto her back and hovered over her. His lips found the sensitive spot where her shoulder met her neck, and she felt her body start to respond to his. She hooked her leg around his thighs to force him closer. She could feel his arousal growing against her.

"This will warm you up even faster," he mumbled against her clavicle as his lips dipped lower.

She buried her fingers in his hair to direct his movements. "Already pretty warm, now."

He lifted his head to meet her eyes. "Does that mean you want me to stop?"

She sat up and kissed him, hard. "Don't you dare."

"Bossy," he retorted once she pulled away.

She giggled and lay back against the pillow, pulling him with her. "Like you'd be able to stop."

He kissed her one, two, three times. "You may have a point."

She pressed against his shoulder and rolled them so she was straddling his lower torso. "How much time until we need to be at breakfast?"

"I don't care," was Derek's response.

Meredith leaned down so her lips were only inches from his, and smiled as his hands pulled the sheets up to her shoulders to keep her warm from the still-cold air in the room. "Seriously, Derek, how long?"

"As long as we want. In fact, we can stay in here all day..."

"And miss your sister's wedding?"

"Lauren would understand."

She laughed. "Because that wouldn't be an awkward conversation. Plus, you're walking her down the aisle; that's kind of an important job. I think she'd notice if you weren't there."

Derek grumbled something unintelligible and pulled her down to kiss her.

Meredith gave in to the kiss and allowed him to distract her for several minutes. When she finally pulled away, she was breathless and her hair had fallen around them.

Derek chuckled and managed to pull most of her hair away from his face.

"Breakfast," she prompted before he could pull her into another kiss.

"Most important meal of the day," he responded. "Occurs between dinner and lunch."

She laughed despite herself, and swatted at his bare chest. "Do you want me to get out of bed and leave you here alone? Because I'll do it."

He stretched up to kiss her again, softly this time. "Please don't," he murmured, despite the fact that they both knew it was an empty threat.

She moaned and kissed him back. "I don't think I could, anyway," she admitted.

He smiled at her before craning his head to glance at the clock. "We have about an hour before breakfast."

"And we still have to shower and get dressed."

He flipped them again so that she was pressed between him and the mattress. "We'll just have to make this quick," he mumbled as he pressed his lips against hers.

"We could," she agreed between kisses, "Or we could share a shower...save time that way..."

He lifted his head far enough to meet her eyes. "Shower sex?"

"Only if you do the bendy thing."

He kissed her again. "Agreed."

After a long shower together, Meredith and Derek had dressed and joined their family for breakfast. Lauren had been at breakfast, but hadn't eaten anything. She had looked pale and tense. Nathan hadn't spent the night at the resort, as per the groom-doesn't-get-to-see-the-bride-before-the-wedding rule, and would be heading to the church with his groomsmen before the ceremony. About three hours before the ceremony was scheduled, Derek had been sent to meet Nathan and the groomsmen to drop off matching corsages that they would all be wearing, Derek included. With her husband gone and his sisters all preparing for the ceremony, Meredith pulled on a pair of sneakers and headed out to explore the land. She had already laid out the dress she would be wearing to the ceremony and applied her makeup, so she wasn't worried about time.

After slipping her key card into her jeans pocket, she left the hotel room, took the elevator down to the ground floor and found the closest outside door.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was out and the sky crystal blue. The temperature had increased significantly since that morning, making it tee shirt weather despite the lateness in the year. Thick, green grass led right to the edge of the short cliff that overlooked the lake. Below the cliff was a small beach.

She made her way towards the water and walked along the short cliff as she contemplated her thoughts. A year earlier, she had been in a relatively new relationship with a man she was just getting to know. She had been in love, but apprehensive; hopeful, but tentative. Now, though, that man was her husband, the love had only intensified and the apprehension was gone.

She wouldn't have believed, a year ago, that she'd be here now; across the country, staying at a resort with Derek's extra large family, celebrating his sister's wedding, and happy about it all. She had grown, or whatever. The thought made her smile. She had a family now. A family that was bigger than just Derek and her friends.

Twisting her wedding band around her finger, she contemplated her life in another year. Five years. Ten. There would be kids eventually. Most likely two. Would they have started trying in a year? Maybe. They'd talked about kids, but never implemented any kind of timeline. At home, where she was working her ass off to get through her residency, the thought of fitting kids into her life didn't come up very often. But out here, surrounded by Derek's sisters, who were all doctors and all had kids, it was hard not to think about it. The Shepherds made cute kids, and she knew hers and Derek's would be no exception.

She was only in her second year of residency now, so kids were a little impractical, but maybe during her third year. Or her fourth. Bailey had done it, which made Meredith confident she and Derek could make it work. Bailey had balanced a newborn with residency, interns and a husband. And now she had a less-than-one year old, a husband and was Chief Resident. And she was happy and confident and dependable. She was Meredith's role model.

Stopping to stare out at the water, Meredith allowed herself a moment to think about hers and Derek's future babies. She laid her hand over her lower abdomen and was surprised to feel an ache well inside of her. It wasn't time now, she knew. She and Derek deserved some time to be newlyweds, and she needed time to get further into her residency, but still... Being around all the cute Shepherd kids, and their happy and proud parents, made it hard to not think about babies in more of a soon timeframe than a future timeframe.

Not soon, but not so distant future either, she told herself. She'd talk to Derek and make some decisions about when the best time was. He'd been through residency, so he'd have a better idea of what her workload would be like each year.

With a sigh, she removed her hand from her abdomen and continued along the edge of the short cliff, wishing her husband could be beside her. She'd have to insist they took a walk the next morning before check out. He'd want to see this view.

Curious about the beach and spotting what looked like a path down to it, Meredith made a beeline and carefully made her way down the rocky path. She was about six feet from the beach when she slipped on a damp rock, flailed as she unsuccessfully tried to find footing, slid the rest of the way down, landed on her ass and smacked her injured arm against a large rock on the way down.

"Ouch," she hissed, cradling her injured arm with her good one as she waited for the stinging to subside. She hadn't hit it hard, but she'd hit it right over the sutures Derek had placed three days earlier.

"Are you okay?"

Not having expected to bump into any people, the concerned voice took Meredith by surprise and she leapt to her feet, clutching her hands to her chest. Her gaze immediately found the tense figure sitting cross legged on the large boulder by the base of the cliff.

"Lauren," she sputtered. "You scared the crap out of me."

Lauren cracked a smile. "And you didn't scare me? Jumping in out of nowhere like that?"

"Well, that wasn't so much jumping as it was falling," she retorted as she stepped closer to her sister-in-law.

Lauren's smile grew. "You know, there are stairs about fifty feet further down."

"I didn't know that," Meredith said, gazing down the beach, "But I'll know for next time."

"Good, you don't want to hurt yourself. Is your arm okay?"

Meredith nodded. "I think so." She poked at the bandage and cringed. "I'll get Derek to take a look at the sutures when he gets back, but I think I just smacked it pretty good."

"Sutures?"

"Yeah, there was...an accident at work on Wednesday. I ended up in an upside down ambulance and cut my arm."

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "Okay, now this is a story I definitely need to hear." She patted the rock next to her.

Meredith sat, but frowned. "Are you okay?" The wedding was in less than three hours, so finding the bride hiding out under a cliff all alone probably wasn't a good sign.

"I just needed a breather."

"But your sisters-"

"Probably haven't realized I'm missing. They get a little crazy about these things."

"I, uh..."

"Please, just tell me the story," Lauren said with a sigh.

"Okay," she relented. "A paramedic had a seizure while driving into our ambulance bay. She hit another ambulance, and it flipped over. Both paramedics inside were trapped." She sighed as she thought of Stan and Ray. "Stan didn't make it, but Ray was stuck upside down with an oxygen regulator imbedded in his back and a cardiac tamponade. We had to remove the pressure before we moved him, so I did a pericardiocentesis in the ambulance."

"With the patient hanging upside down?"

Meredith nodded.

Lauren whistled. "Wow."

"I was pretty much terrified the entire time. I didn't even realize I'd cut myself until I was out. There was glass everywhere."

"Did he make it?"

Meredith allowed herself a small smile. "He did." It didn't make up for Stan not making it, but it helped. She'd tried to keep her thoughts on the present over the past few days, and away from Stan, but now she wondered about his wife, Sarah, and how she was doing. "Stan was conscious for a long time before he..." She trailed off, not needing to finish the sentence. "And his wife worked at Grace. I had to go and get her."

"They got to say goodbye?"

Meredith felt tears well in her eyes as she nodded. "They did. It was hard to watch."

"I'll bet."

She glanced at her sister-in-law and swallowed the lump in her throat. Lauren needed her to be positive right now. "It's stuff like that that makes you realize you have to live in the now and go for things that make you happy."

Lauren offered her a small smile. "You're not being very discreet."

Meredith made a face. "Yeah, discreet has never been my strong suit." She sighed. "I'm also not good at the family thing. Do you want me to get someone? Your mom, maybe?"

Lauren shook her head. "You're better at the family thing then you think you are."

"Oh," Meredith said, falling silent as she fought for something to say. Lauren clearly needed someone who could read the situation, offer some sort of advice and make her feel better. Being the girl who was new to the family thing and had landed in a heap practically at Lauren's feet was making Meredith feel vastly inadequate for the role of supportive sister-in-law.

"I'm not planning on running away."

"Sure," Meredith said with a nod, and motioning towards the water. "You'd probably have a much better chance swimming away." She may not be able to offer advice, but she could offer humour.

Lauren laughed out loud. "Not thinking about that either. I promise."

"Okay. Well, that's...good."

"I just needed to get away. I'm..." She trailed off for a moment, and when she started talking again, her voice was quieter. "I think I'm just overwhelmed."

"That's understandable. There's a lot going on."

"Derek told me I'd feel better before the wedding, but I still feel..." She sighed. "I want to feel more confident."

"You're about to have a big ceremony in front of like a hundred people," Meredith said, flinching as she finished. "Sorry, that came out wrong. See? I told you I wasn't good at this. What I was trying to say was, there's a lot of pressure on you today, so it's natural that you feel overwhelmed."

Lauren nodded. "I knew what you were trying to say." She sighed again. "I wish we could have eloped like you and Derek. It seems so...easy. But I wanted Emily to see something normal, and part of me..." She trailed off.

"Part of you?" Meredith prompted gently.

"I don't know." Lauren shook her head. "I feel like I've always been the screw up child and I just wanted to prove to everyone that I could handle all of this."

Meredith felt her brow furrow and again felt entirely inadequate to deal with Lauren's emotions. Fortunately, Lauren continued before Meredith came up with a response.

"I was the youngest. And I struggled in school. And I got pregnant." She glanced at Meredith. "And I'm sure Derek told you about what happened with Emily's dad."

Meredith nodded.

"And it took me two extra years to graduate med school because of it. And then I was the single mom. And even when I finally met Nathan I remember being so scared to tell the family about him because of what they might think. And now... Now I wonder if they're just waiting for me to fall down again so they can pick me back up. I dreamt about my wedding when I was little, and I want this. I just want to be able to want to want this, if that makes sense."

Meredith nodded slowly. "It makes sense. I think I may be one of the few people who has been screwed up enough to actually understand exactly what you're saying. Doing the family thing and wanting the big wedding and all that; that I don't get. Feeling inadequate? That I definitely get." She paused. She had never planned on telling any of Derek's family much about her past, but knowing how much Lauren needed to hear it made it easy to tell, "I didn't grow up like you and Derek. I had a neglectful mother and a father who disappeared when I was five. I grew up alone, always secretly wanting the big family, but not even admitting it to myself very often. And it took me extra time to graduate from med school. I wasted several years after college because I had no idea what to do with myself. I wanted to be a doctor, but I was actually going to not go to med school just because my mother wanted me to." She shook her head at the thought. "I felt really lost for a long time."

"Yeah..." Lauren agreed. "I know what that feels like."

"But then I got over myself and went to med school, and moved to Seattle. And I met Derek."

Lauren turned to meet her gaze.

"I was terrified to meet you guys," she admitted. "Absolutely terrified. I had no frame of reference for what a family was supposed to be like, because mine had never been there for me. But Derek promised me everything would be okay, and I came out here and met you guys. And it was...good. And it's probably because I'm new to the family thing and I hyper-analyze everything with you guys, that I can honestly tell you that no one thinks you're a screw up."

Lauren blinked several times as tears lined her eyes.

"Derek loves you so much," Meredith continued. "He's been excited about this weekend for months. And the fact that you want him to walk you down the aisle... He's absolutely honoured. He wants you to be happy. And he likes Nathan. He thinks you made a really good choice. And absolutely never has he given any indication that he disapproves or that he expects you to fail. He wants you to succeed. And I guess that's what family is; they want good things for you and will do everything they can to make you happy. Like yesterday, at the rehearsal, your sisters would have fought for hours about placement if you and Derek hadn't stopped them."

Lauren laughed, despite the tears in her eyes. "Yeah, that was... They're a little crazy."

"They're just focusing on what would be important to them because they want everything to be perfect for you. Trust me, they're excited about your wedding. No one thinks this is a mistake or that you're in over your head. And no one thinks you were ever a screw up. So, you made one bad decision when you were young? You ended up with Emily, who is an amazing little girl, so you can't even call that a mistake."

Lauren caught Meredith off guard by reaching for her hand. "I want more than anything to be a good role model for her."

"You are," Meredith assured, squeezing her hand. "You've taught her to be strong and independent. And you've given her an amazing childhood. She obviously knows how much you love her. Trust me, from a girl who didn't grow up thinking her mother loved her, that's the most important thing in the world."

Lauren wiped at her cheeks with her free hand. "Thank you, Meredith," she said softly.

Meredith hesitated before saying, "That's what family is for, right?"

Lauren smiled at her and nodded. "See, you're better at this than you think."

Meredith laughed. "I hope so."

Lauren squeezed her hand and then released it. For a long moment, they stared out at the water together. "It's a beautiful day."

"It is," Meredith agreed. "The perfect day."

"Everything about today is perfect. This is my...my dream wedding," Lauren admitted.

Meredith smiled. "Then it's a good thing you're getting married today."

Lauren inhaled and the exhaled slowly. "I'm getting married today."

"You are," Meredith agreed.

Lauren smiled. "There was a time when I thought today would never come."

"I know the feeling. Which is why you have to let yourself enjoy today."

"I should head back. Lots to do."

Meredith nodded and followed Lauren's lead in getting off the rock and heading towards the stairs that would lead back up the short cliff. She wasn't taking chances with the path again.

"See," Lauren teased, "The stairs are much safer."

Meredith laughed. "Thanks for reminding me." She rubbed at her still-stinging arm and then frowned when she felt something wet. She pulled her hand away and made a face at the blood on her fingers. "Crap, I think I tore some stitches."

Lauren turned once they had reached the top of the stairs. "How bad?"

Meredith shrugged. "There's only a little blood. Probably just one or two sutures." She sighed. "I can be a little clumsy."

Lauren shrugged and then smirked conspiratorially. "Just get my brother to play doctor for you," she said with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

Meredith found herself momentarily speechless as they started to walk back to the resort together.

Lauren shot her a look. "Too much?"

Meredith laughed. "You're just...Derek's sister. I don't have much experience with the family thing, but I'm pretty sure there's usually a line somewhere..."

"Ah, that's nothing. Just spend some more time with us."

Meredith smiled. "That's the plan."

"I'm really glad Derek found you," Lauren admitted. "I don't know that I've ever seen him as happy as he is now."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Good. Because I've definitely never been this happy before, either."

"Do you regret not having a big wedding?"

"No, I don't think so. I never dreamt of my wedding growing up. And the beach where we got married was pretty freaking perfect for us."

"So, you didn't avoid the big wedding to avoid having us all there?" Lauren asked. "And I don't mean that in a bad way. I just want to make sure you weren't afraid to have a big wedding."

Meredith couldn't help but laugh. "You know what? I was nervous leading up to this trip because I thought you guys would be upset we didn't include you."

Lauren laughed as well. "Something else family does; spends too much time stressing over what everyone else thinks."

Meredith nodded. "That really wasn't a factor, for either of us. We just...didn't want a big ceremony. I wish it weren't that simple, but I guess it is. We wanted something special, but nothing big. And we didn't want to wait."

"So, you don't regret it?"

"Not at all."

"Good."

They came into view of the resort, and immediately spotted Kathleen standing outside between the lake and the building. She called something back towards the resort and then ran towards them.

"Lauren, we've been looking everywhere for you. Is everything okay?" She glanced to Lauren and then to Meredith, and back.

"Everything's great," Lauren said brightly, and Meredith smiled at the realization that she had done some good.

"You disappeared."

"Sorry, I didn't expect to be gone so long. What time is it?"

"We have about two and a half hours-"

"Perfect!" Lauren said happily. "Let's get going."

"But..." Kathleen trailed off, clearly taken by surprise at her sister's change in demeanour. "She's happy," she hissed to Meredith as Lauren hurried towards the doors in front of them.

Meredith nodded.

"She was freaking out an hour ago. Did you drug her?"

Meredith laughed. "I think she just needed someone to talk to who...could offer a new perspective."

They entered the lobby in time to see Lauren assuring her mother and Derek that everything was okay.

"I'm great, mom, I promise," she said, giving Jane a hug. "I just needed to figure some things out. Now I have to get ready, because I'm getting married today," she said excitedly.

Derek approached Meredith and Kathleen. "Is she really okay?"

Meredith nodded. "Yes. She was never running or whatever. She just needed to think."

Derek offered her a smile, but it quickly fell away as he caught sight of her arm. "You're bleeding."

She made a face as she lifted her arm. A relatively small amount of blood was still leaking from under the bandage. "Yeah, about that..."

"She needs you to play doctor for her, Derek," Lauren called from half way across the lobby.

Meredith groaned and covered her eyes with her free hand as she felt her face heat now that the comment had been voiced in front of Jane, Kathleen and the resort staff pretending not to watch the scene from behind the counter.

Derek chuckled at the comment, but said nothing back as he took Meredith's injured arm into his care. "What happened?"

"I think I tore a stitch," she muttered, removing her hand from her face.

"Clearly," he said flatly. "How?"

"I may have fallen down the cliff..."

Derek blinked. "What cliff?"

She pointed through the glass walls towards the lake. "The little cliff by the water. I didn't know about the stairs, so I took a path down to the beach and slipped-"

Derek's expression grew worried. He released her arm and tilted her head to get a better look at her eyes.

She swatted at his hands. "I didn't hit my head. Seriously, I fell on my ass and slid about six feet. It was all very pathetic. I must have clipped my arm on a rock or whatever."

"Are you sure you didn't hit your head?" He asked, clearly still worried.

"I'm sure. Ask your sister. She saw the whole thing."

"She didn't hit her head," Lauren agreed as she approached.

Derek sighed, but let it go. He reached for Meredith's arm again. "We'll have to fix it."

"I can ask the receptionist if there's a hospital nearby," Jane offered, "Maybe if we explain the situation, they'll bump you to the front of the line and-"

"It's okay, Ma," Derek said. "We have a first aid kit packed. This should only take a few minutes to fix."

Kathleen patted him on the shoulder. "I'm assuming you can handle this, little brother. I'm going to go get Lauren ready."

Derek shot her a look. "You, the shrink, are asking me, the neurosurgeon, if I can handle a few sutures? When was the last time you actually practiced medicine?"

Kathleen laughed, but smacked him on the back of the head. "Not nice, Derek."

"But true," Derek said under his breath as Kathleen and Lauren walked away.

Meredith laughed.

"Are you sure you can deal with this?" Jane asked.

Derek offered his mother a wry smile. "I'm going to play the neurosurgeon card one more time."

"Yes, and that's all very impressive, but this is an arm, not a brain."

Meredith laughed at the exchange, especially when Derek rolled his eyes at his mother's comment. "And it's sutures," he retorted. "I did them in the first place."

"At the hospital?"

He nodded and ushered Meredith towards the elevators.

"Don't hospitals usually have a rule about treating family members?" Jane asked as she followed them.

"It's sutures, not surgery."

"Still."

Derek sighed. "Would you like to come and supervise to make sure I'm capable of doing this?"

Jane mock glared at her son. "Your wife is injured, Derek. You could pretend to be concerned."

"I'm really okay," Meredith said as they stepped onto the elevator together. Jane was clearly going to join them. "It just stings a little, and once it stops bleeding, it'll be fine."

"I didn't even know you were injured. I noticed the bandage, but I didn't think it was anything serious."

"It's not," Meredith insisted. "Just a little cut. A few sutures."

"How did it happen?"

"Ma," Derek warned, but Meredith laid a hand on his arm, telling him it was okay.

"There was an accident with some ambulances at work," she said, as they stepped off the elevators together and headed for their room. Meredith told Jane the story while Derek retrieved the first aid kit from his suitcase.

"That's horrible," Jane said once the story was complete.

Meredith nodded. "It was. But it reminds us to be grateful of the patients we have a chance to save."

"Let's do this at the table," Derek suggested.

Meredith nodded and sat at the small table attached to the kitchenette. Derek sat to her right and Jane to her left.

Before removing her bandage, Derek pulled a penlight out of the first aid kit. Meredith sighed and shot him a look.

"Please?" He asked. "Just let me check once. It'll make me feel better." He cocked his head ever so slightly as he met her eyes.

"I didn't hit my head," she repeated her earlier words, but acquiesced by allowing him to check her pupils, knowing that the downside to being a neurosurgeon was that it was easy to see problems in those you loved. Plus, she couldn't resist the face.

"Thank you," Derek said, kissing her cheek before shining the light in her eyes. He directed her to look up and down, and then follow his finger. "Everything looks fine," he announced after he completed his standard test.

"Told you."

He pressed another kiss to her cheek and then returned the penlight to the first aid kit. Next he pulled out a small, sterile cloth and laid it over the table. Meredith shifted so she could rest her arm on it as Derek pulled out the supplies he would need.

Making a face, Meredith peeled the corner of the bandage off of her skin and the silently counted to three before ripping the entire bandage off. "Ouch," she complained.

Derek chuckled.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything," he replied.

"You were thinking it."

Ignoring her comment, he gently took her arm into his hands to study the damage she had done to his handiwork. "It looks like you just ripped the last one," he murmured. "The rest look okay, despite your clumsiness."

"That's not nice, Derek," Jane chastised.

Derek rolled his eyes, causing Meredith to laugh.

"Does it hurt anywhere else?" He asked, carefully pressing his thumbs along her forearm.

"Nope. I didn't hit it very hard."

"Normal feeling in your fingers? No tingling?"

She shook her head, and then flexed her fingers, "And normal range of motion. Seriously, Derek, I just clipped in on a rock."

"As you fell down a cliff," he reminded dryly.

She giggled. "A very small cliff."

He picked up a disinfectant wipe and tore open the packaging.

She made a face as he disinfected the cut. "It stings," she complained.

"Sorry, but it's better than letting it get infected."

"Are you sure we shouldn't be taking her to a hospital?" Jane spoke up, her expression still filled with concern.

Derek paused and raised an eyebrow at his mother. "You think I'm not capable of disinfecting a very minor cut?"

"I'm sure you're very capable, Derek. I just think, maybe, that a hospital would be better equipped for...this."

"You know what they have at hospitals, Ma?" He asked as he picked up the small surgical scissors he laid out earlier.

"What?"

"Disinfectant wipes, scissors," he held up the scissors to make his point, "sutures and doctors. And we have all of those things right here in this room."

"Well, do you have something to freeze it? Because I'm not about to let you stitch up her arm while she can feel it."

"It's really okay," Meredith spoke up, not entirely sure how to act around Jane when she was acting like...this. "It's just one stitch. They wouldn't freeze it if we went to a hospital anyway, because it would hurt more to get the freezing than the stitch."

"And we have numbing cream," Derek added as he successful removed the torn suture.

Jane sighed. "I still don't like it."

"If we went to a hospital, they'd leave me with an intern," Meredith said, "And I'd much rather Derek do this than an ER intern." She shuddered at the thought.

Derek chuckled as he rubbed a bit of numbing cream onto the area he was about to re-suture. "We'll just give it a minute to take effect," he said.

Meredith offered him a soft smile, knowing the cream wouldn't do much to help, but that he was doing it for Jane's benefit.

"We have to leave in an hour," Derek spoke up, addressing his mother. "Maybe you wanted to go and get changed... Or check on Lauren."

Jane glared at him. "I'm not leaving until I know Meredith is okay." She laid a hand on Meredith's shoulder to make her point.

Meredith couldn't help but smile, even if she didn't understand Jane's insistence. Seriously, it was just one suture. Either Jane had no idea how talented her neurosurgeon son was, or she was really squeamish around blood. Doubtful that her cocky husband hadn't ensured his mother knew of his talent, she smiled at the thought of a squeamish woman giving birth to five doctors.

"Meredith's fine," Derek assured. "I promise to take good care of her. And we need to leave in an hour," he repeated.

"I'm not going anywhere," Jane declared. She moved her hand from Meredith's shoulder to Meredith's left hand. "I'm going to sit here and hold Meredith's hand. She needs moral support for this."

"I'm really okay," Meredith assured.

Jane squeezed her hand. "Nonsense."

Derek rubbed his thumb across the skin near her cut. "Feeling numb yet?"

She nodded, more for Jane's benefits than her own. "Yeah, it's fine; just get it over with."

He rubbed his thumb across her wrist and then squeezed her hand before preparing the suture.

Meredith closed her eyes, and then smiled when she felt Jane squeeze her hand.

"Okay," Derek said softly, "Small pinch..."

Meredith cringed as Derek replaced the suture she had inadvertently ripped out sightseeing. This was a lesson to always look for the stairs than take the closer route down a cliff.

"Finished," Derek announced.

Meredith released the breath she had been holding and opened her eyes. "Thank you."

He offered her a soft smile as he covered the wound with a new bandage. "Just try and be careful this time, okay?"

She giggled and nodded. "I'll try, but you know me..."

He pecked her on the cheek. "I do." He smiled and turned his attention to his mother. "See? Nothing to it. She's still alive."

Jane offered him a soft smile before standing. She patted Meredith on the shoulder. "I'm glad you're alright, dear."

"Thank you."

"I'm going to go and get ready. Should Brian and I meet you kids in the lobby?"

Derek nodded. "We'll see you there."

After Jane had left the hotel room, Meredith laughed. "Wow, for a mother of five doctors, she's really squirmy about this kind of thing, huh?"

Derek chuckled and shook his head.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're cute."

She nudged him and repeated, "What?"

He hooked his arm around her middle and sidled close. "She's not squirmy. She's just a little overprotective. You were hurt, and you're one of her kids now, so she was worried. That's what mom's do."

Meredith felt her chest tighten at his words and pulled her husband closer to her. "So, that was..."

Derek wrapped both arms around her in a tight hug. "That was mothering."

Despite her embarrassment at her own reaction, Meredith felt her eyes sting. "Oh," she whispered.

"She kind of gets carried away sometimes," he explained.

"Okay," she murmured. It was such a new thing that she hadn't even recognized it. "My mom never seemed to care when I was hurt." She thought back to getting her tonsils out and breaking her arm; stories he already knew.

Derek sighed. "I know. I'm sorry." He pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"It's kind of nice," she announced.

He pulled back far enough to meet her eyes. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "Yeah. The whole family thing is kind of nice, actually. I...I think I could really get used to this," she said, filled with confidence from her ability to say the right things to Lauren, despite her inability to navigate a short path down a small cliff.

Derek's face lit up at her words, making her happy she had voiced them. It was getting easier and easier to say things like that to him. And his consistently positive reactions were making her want to say things like that to him.

"Good." He pressed his lips to hers.

She offered him a smile when he pulled back. "I really, really love you. You know that, right?"

He cocked his head in the way that tugged at her heart. "I do know," he whispered, his hand cupping her cheek. "And I really, really love you, too."

"Good," she declared.

"How's your arm?"

"Barely hurts at all."

"It's a good thing your husband is a fancy surgeon, huh?"

She giggled and nodded. "He has to be good for something."

Derek made a grumbling noise in the back of his throat.

Her giggle became a full-fledged laugh. "Thank you for playing doctor for me."

He lifted her injured arm and pressed a gentle kiss to the bandage, just like he had done when he had first sutured her arm three days earlier.

Meredith felt like her heart melted into a pile of goo in her chest. "Okay, now I think I love you a little more..."

Still on her family high, even after Derek had introduced her to more extended family members than Meredith could count, Meredith sat comfortably on the front bench of the bride's side of the church with Jane and Brian. Derek would be joining them once he had completed his task of walking his sister down the aisle. Scott, Shane and Tim took up the second, third and fourth row with their kids, as their wives would stand at the altar with Lauren. And behind them was the mass of relatives Meredith had told Derek he would need to draw her a family tree to keep straight.

"What's taking them so long to get started?" Jane worried, a behaviour Meredith now recognized as 'mothering.' "Do you think Lauren's okay?"

"I'm sure she's fine, dear," Brian said, patting her on the knee.

"Maybe I should go check-"

"She got all of her siblings with her," Brian said, cutting her off before she stood and made her way up the aisle. "She'll be fine. The ceremony's not even scheduled to start for another couple minutes."

Jane sat back with a sigh. "I just want everything to be perfect for her."

"It will be," Brian assured. "And I'm sure they'll get started any minute."

As if on cue, the music began playing and Nathan stepped onto the altar with his groomsmen. He looked nervous, but relatively composed. The back doors of the church opened, and the attention of every guest turned.

Emily appeared first, dressed in a miniature bridesmaid dress, clutching to a basket of colourful flowers, with a huge smile on her face.

"Oh, look at her," Jane whispered. "She looks just like her mom. So beautiful."

Emily walked steadily all the way down the aisle and stopped to give Nathan a high-five before taking her place – as picked out by her aunts the day before – on Lauren's side.

One by one, the Shepherd sisters made their way down the aisle to stand with their niece. Meredith smiled as each sister exchanged some sort of affectionate act with Emily; ruffling her hair, squeezing her shoulder and kissing her cheek.

There was a dramatic pause and the music changed. Meredith stood with the rest of the guests as Lauren and Derek made their appearance. In a seeming reversal of her earlier demeanour, Lauren was smiling brightly and appeared completely confident in what she was about to do. She had her arm hooked around Derek's elbow, and said something to him as they started to walk down the aisle. He smiled and gently bumped her shoulder with his.

Meredith smiled at their interaction. She hadn't been making it up earlier when she told Lauren how excited Derek was about walking her down the aisle. His expression confirmed just how much this meant to him.

Halfway down the aisle, Derek met Meredith's eyes and offered her a soft smile that made her heart flutter. Just because she hadn't wanted the big wedding for herself didn't mean she didn't appreciate Lauren's. This was what family did.

Completing their walk, Derek and Lauren paused just before the altar. Derek whispered something to Lauren that Meredith couldn't hear, which earned him an elbow to the ribs. He chuckled, kissed his sister on the cheek and released her to her very soon to be husband.

Meredith slid over on the bench as Derek approached. The moment he sat beside her, he reached for her hand and pulled it into his lap. His eyes were a little glassy, but he didn't seem to notice or care. She squeezed his hand and leaned against him as they watched his sister say the vows they themselves said only a few short months earlier. It brought back memories and filled Meredith with warm and fuzzy feelings.

Not only did she have a very dreamy husband who loved her and would do anything for her, like suture her arm – twice – but she had a family now. And this was her first real family event. She had found a place with Derek's mother and sisters, brothers-in-law, and nieces and nephews. She had met the extended family. Albeit, it would take her some time to get the extended family straight, but due to the volume, she thought that was reasonable. And no one seemed to question her presence. No one had made her feel unwelcome or out of place.

She was doing the family thing.

And she was doing it well.

Hours later, after the wedding and Derek getting them slightly lost when he tried to use the same shortcut as the day before, and after the pictures and the dinner and the speeches, Meredith rested her cheek against Derek's as they danced together at the reception.

"Remember the first time we did this?" She whispered.

"Hmm, prom," he murmured softly, before chuckling. "Good times."

She giggled.

"We can have a repeat of prom if you want. I'm sure we can find an empty closet or something..."

"I'm doing good with the family thing," she told him. "I'm thinking getting caught with my pants down at your sister's wedding would be anti-progress."

"Technically, you're not wearing pants," he said with a smirk.

She pulled back far enough to glare at him as they danced together.

He chuckled and leaned in to kiss her softly. "Later," he promised.

"Later," she echoed, shifting in his strong arms so that her hands were hooked behind his neck and she was leaning back a little. "When we danced the first time, you told me you wanted a lifetime with me," she told him as she played with his curls.

He smiled. "I do want a lifetime with you."

"I remember wanting it, too, but still being scared."

He nodded as he remembered. "You told me I was the reason it was only scary some of the time and not all of the time." He smiled. "And you told me you just needed time to make the fear go away completely." His smile became a smirk. "Then you dragged me off the dance floor and took advantage of me in an exam room."

"Okay, I so didn't take advantage. It was a joint adventure, or whatever."

"And very enjoyable."

She laughed and nodded, before sobering. "Hey, Derek, guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm not afraid anymore."

He leaned in to kiss her again. "Good."

"I kind of like this whole married thing."

"Me too."

"And the whole family thing."

He kissed her again. "Me too."

"You've made me into a disgusting, mushy, gooey, pathetic person," she admitted in a whisper.

He laughed at her choice – and number – of adjectives. "Sorry."

She laughed as well. "I liked watching you walk your sister down the aisle. I like how important your family is to you."

Derek nodded.

"You know, when Thatcher was in the ER this week, he told me that when I was little, before he left, that he used to dream of walking me down the aisle on my wedding day."

"Mer..." Derek said with a sigh.

She shook her head, motioning that she wasn't looking for comfort. She wasn't feeling sorry for herself. She didn't need a father figure in her life. She hadn't even had an aisle to walk down on her wedding day, and if she had, she would have walked alone with her head held high. "This is going to sound incredibly gooey and corny and pathetic, but when I watched you walk your sister down the aisle, and saw how emotional your mom was, I..."

"You what?" He prompted softly.

She made a face, but continued. "I kind of couldn't help but imagine what it might be like to watch you walk our daughter down the aisle one day...you know, if we have a daughter."

Derek blinked several times as a sheen of moisture developed across his eyes. "If we're planning on two kids, it's a statistical certainty that at least one will be a girl; probably both." He shrugged. "Shepherd med are a little outnumbered."

Meredith laughed.

He kissed her softly. "Meredith, that was...okay, that was a little gooey, but I... I want that for us, too. One day. In the very distant future. When our daughter is forty."

"Forty?"

He nodded. "At least."

"We'll have to keep her away from bars and dreamy strangers in red shirts."

Derek made a grumbling noise in the back of his throat.

"What? It worked out well for me," she pointed out.

"That's different."

"How?"

"Because it was me."

"You realize that makes no sense, right?"

"And this is our future daughter we're talking about. She's not going anywhere near boys. Ever."

"Yeah, good luck with that. If she's anything like me-"

"Stop talking," he demanded. "I don't want to hear it. She'll be perfect and beautiful and will never be interested in boys."

Meredith kissed him. "Okay, I'll let you tell yourself that for a few years."

"Thank you." He cocked his head and gave her the full fledged McDreamy smile.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just...we're talking about our future kids."

She nodded. "See? Does this not illustrate how much I've grown?"

"It does," he agreed.

"I was actually thinking, earlier, that we never really talked about the whole kid thing with any sort of...timeframe or whatever. And maybe we should...do that."

"You want to talk about kids?" He repeated back to her, clearly surprised at how forward she was being.

She nodded. "We know we both want them, and we talked about numbers. I think, now that we're married, that it's important we talk about...when."

Derek took a breath. "Do you want to talk about them now?"

She immediately shook her head. "No."

"No," he echoed.

"No," she repeated before he could get any ideas, "Because you're perfect and charming Uncle Derek, and you have fourteen beautiful nieces and nephews with perfect hair, and your freaking family makes me all gooey and disgusting, so if we talk about kids now, I'm going to let you convince me to go off the pill today so we can start trying tomorrow, and as much as warm, gooey, disgusting me probably wouldn't have a problem with that, the very small non-gooey, rational part of my brain that's left knows that right now is not the right time."

Derek coughed slightly as he obviously tried to hold back a laugh.

"Shut up," she hissed. "You did this to me."

"Sorry," he murmured, kissing her cheek, though he clearly wasn't sorry at all. "Though I'm only taking the blame for the gooey-ness. The rambling pre-existed me."

She laughed, but pushed on in making her point. "Maybe we could talk once we've been back home for a couple weeks? That way I'll have had some time to get...un-gooey."

"Sounds good," he agreed, ignoring her term. "How about after we've finished moving?"

She smiled. "Okay."

"Okay," he echoed.

She bit her lip as she stared into his eyes, trying to understand how she had gotten so lucky. "I really love you."

He kissed her before whispering, "I really love you, too."

With a happy sigh, she leaned into him and brushed her cheek affectionately against his. "Derek?"

"Hmm?" He murmured, closing his arms around her as they swayed back and forth.

"Don't tell anyone, but being here...I kind of like being warm and gooey."

"Your secret's safe with me."