Lost in thought

Just finishing reading my favourite author, Agatha Christie. Never disappoint me with all the crime solve via gossiping. I wish I was Miss Marple the gossiping lady in the book who can solve the crime. But, the reality is so far away. I continue to stare at the white ceiling in my room. What I going to do after this, already finish my laundry, reading, eat, and already sleep for almost twelve hours. Staring the white of the ceiling makes me think about wedding dress in white. Yeah, when will I be married? I already finish my studies, have worked but never had a partner. Even when I want to have a male best friends I never really had one. As if God wants to make me live in single status for another decade. Notification on my phone only consisting message from family, a group of friends that almost all female. Suddenly I feel lonely. I wake up and rummaging my drawer finding my earphones. Wishing to soothe my loneliness by hearing some music. The playlist also somewhat depressing as the first song is I'm OK from iKON. Just kind of juice to my ears and mind right now to hear the song. Wishing to find the Mr Right when there is no clue where the hell is he whereabouts. What kind of joke is it? That is how pathetic my life is. Maybe I will go out tomorrow to the mall for window shopping. Strolling around without any thought in my head. Tears dropping from my eyes as I remember how happy people around me. Why I always have fake happiness that only lasts for two or three days only? Why do I think? The tears continue to drop until I feel numb around my throat and fell asleep once again.