Chapter 30. The Beaver Fury

"Who are they, Kazuma-san?" The receptionist called Luna asked, her gaze shifting to the group standing behind Kazuma.

Kazuma sighed, gesturing toward the four. "They're my friends who decided to register as adventurers... using my money," he grumbled, crossing his arms.

Satria placed a reassuring hand on Kazuma's shoulder. "Don't worry, Kazuma, your generosity will not go unnoticed. Truly, you're a noble man of great honor."

"Yeah, a noble man who's going to be broke if you don't pay me back after this mission," Kazuma shot back, glaring at them.

Peter scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry about that, Kazuma. I swear I'll pay you back as soon as I can."

Kazuma gave him a deadpan look. "You're Spider-Man, not Money-Man. I'm not holding my breath."

Kurumi giggled lightly at the banter. "It's really kind of you, Kazuma-san. We'll make sure to repay your kindness."

"Kindness, huh..." Kazuma muttered. "More like I'm being scammed. Anyway, let's get this over with."

Luna clapped her hands, drawing the group's attention. "Alright, welcome to the Adventurer's Guild! Here, we'll set up your adventurer cards, which will keep track of your stats, skills, and achievements. As you defeat monsters, you'll earn points that can be used to learn new skills. Please work hard to raise your levels!"

She gestured to a glowing crystal orb resting on a pedestal. "Now, one at a time, place your hand over the crystal, and it will reveal your stats and potential occupation. Let's start with you."

Peter stepped forward. "Alright, I'll go first." He placed his hand on the crystal, which began to glow brightly.

Luna's eyes widened as she read the information on Peter's adventurer card. "Wow, your stats are exceptional! Strength, agility, reflexes... you're almost superhuman! But..." She hesitated, biting her lip.

"But what?" Peter leaned in, hopeful.

"Your luck is... uh, well, it's not your strong suit." Luna tried to phrase it diplomatically.

Peter immediately slumped, placing a hand over his face. "Of course, my luck is trash. Why am I not surprised?"

Luna smiled nervously, trying to lighten the mood. "But don't worry, luck isn't everything in adventuring! And your most suitable class is... Dark Stalker! It's a perfect match for someone with your incredible abilities. You'll excel in stealth, reconnaissance, and combat in the shadows!"

Peter blinked. "Dark Stalker? That actually sounds kind of cool."

Satria crossed his arms, grinning. "See? You're practically a ninja now! That's way cooler than worrying about luck."

Kurumi stepped forward next, her crimson eye gleaming with curiosity. "My turn," she said, her voice dripping with intrigue. With a graceful motion, she placed her hand on the crystal, and the orb pulsed with an eerie black-and-red glow, casting an unsettling light around the room.

Luna froze for a moment, her eyes wide as she watched the crystal react to Kurumi's touch. "Um... Your stats are... extraordinary, but a little... unsettling," Luna muttered, glancing between the screen and Kurumi. "It says your most suitable class is... Dark Archmage."

Kurumi raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the mention of such a title. "Dark Archmage?" She tilted her head slightly, her smile curling into something both charming and ominous. "What does that job entail?"

Luna blinked, clearly a little taken aback by Kurumi's nonchalant demeanor. "A Dark Archmage is a master of forbidden and powerful magic—someone who controls dark, destructive forces, and bends shadows, curses, and necromantic energies to their will. You'd have control over life and death, with immense spell-casting power, as well as the ability to manipulate spirits and even cause fear or madness in your enemies"

Kurumi's smile deepened, her crimson eye gleaming more brightly. "How fascinating. It seems the role suits me quite well, doesn't it?" She chuckled softly, the sound both seductive and chilling. "It seems I'll be a force to be reckoned with, after all."

Luna, still adjusting to the overwhelming aura Kurumi exuded, nodded shakily. "Y-Yes... Definitely." She quickly moved to the next person, trying to shake off the unsettling feeling that lingered in the air.

Emilia stepped forward next, her expression gentle yet full of determination. She placed her hand on the crystal, and the orb immediately reacted, glowing with a brilliant white light that bathed the room in a calming warmth, almost as if the crystal itself was blessed by the sun.

Luna's eyes widened with admiration as she examined the results. "Your stats are incredibly well-balanced," she said, her voice filled with awe. "You have an extraordinary aptitude for magic and healing. Your most suitable class is... Holy Priest! You'll be an invaluable support for any party! It's even stronger than Arch Priest!"

Emilia smiled warmly, grateful for the recognition. "I'm happy to be of help," she said softly, her voice filled with sincerity and kindness.

However, Aqua, who had been watching the proceedings with interest, couldn't help but frown in disbelief. She huffed, her arms crossed. "Huh! What does she have that I don't have?" she demanded, clearly annoyed.

Kazuma, leaning casually against the wall with a sarcastic grin, couldn't resist teasing. "Intelligence, kindness, and grace, maybe?" he shot back, raising an eyebrow.

Aqua's face turned red as she spluttered, "W-What do you mean by that Hikki-neet?! I'm plenty graceful and smart!"

Kazuma, smirking, didn't let up. "Right, Aqua. Sure, you are."

Emilia, still smiling, gave Aqua a gentle nod. "There's no need to worry, Aqua. You're great in your own way."

Aqua fumed but couldn't help the tiny smile that tugged at her lips, as if Emilia's kindness disarmed her irritation, if only for a moment.

Luna looked between the two, a little amused by the dynamic. "In any case, Holy Priests are extremely powerful when it comes to healing magic and protection spells. You'll be a great asset to any party, Emilia."

Emilia's eyes sparkled with excitement. "I'll do my best to help everyone!" she said with a renewed sense of purpose.

Finally, it was Satria's turn. He stepped up confidently, a sly grin on his face. "Now, watch closely, everyone. Witness the power of the one and only Golden Emperor!"

Megumin's eyes lit up with competitive fire. "Hah! Let's see if your so-called 'Golden Emperor' stats can even match mine, a true master of Explosion Magic!" 

As Satria placed his hand on the crystal, it emitted a dazzling golden light, brighter and more intense than any of the previous displays. The glow was so intense that it temporarily blinded everyone in the room.

As the light from the crystal faded, Luna stared at Satria's adventurer card, her eyes widening in utter disbelief. "Your stats are... off the charts," she muttered, her voice tinged with awe. "Every single one is beyond anything I've ever seen. You're... You're suitable for numerous roles!" Luna continued, her voice rising as she read further, "Dragon Sage, Chronomancer, Void Walker, Spirit Caller, Heavenly Tamer, Eldritch Disciple, Celestial Architect, Astral Nomad, Astral Knight... and many more! The possibilities are endless!"

Everyone in the guild who had been casually watching the process suddenly went silent, their eyes locking on Satria in sheer amazement. They were all stunned by the sheer magnitude of his potential. It was as if he was meant for greatness in every imaginable way.

"Wow," Kazuma muttered, crossing his arms. "You're basically being handed cheat codes.

Satria, however, seemed unfazed. A mischievous smirk crossed his face as he calmly turned to Luna. "I'll go with Heavenly Tamer," he said, nonchalantly.

There was a long pause, and then the entire guild collectively froze, staring at him in absolute confusion. It was as if they couldn't comprehend his choice.

"Did he... just say Tamer?" Peter blinked, his eyes wide in disbelief.

Kurumi tilted her head, slightly baffled. "With all those options, he chose... Tamer?"

Kazuma, who had been trying to stay calm up until that point, exploded. "ARE YOU STUPID?!" he yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at Satria. "You have all these amazing options, and you choose Tamer?! Are you seriously going to limit yourself to just... taming animals?!"

Emilia, looking both surprised and slightly confused, couldn't help but mutter, "But... maybe he likes animals...?"

Luna, who was still holding the card, could only stare in disbelief. "I don't understand... You could have chosen so much more..." she trailed off, utterly perplexed by Satria's decision.

Satria shrugged nonchalantly, the smirk never leaving his face. "Well, I want to have some cool nakama, and besides... when I was back in my homeland, I joined an animal lover's group. I've always loved animals. So, Tamer it is!"

At his explanation, the entire guild couldn't help but facepalm, some of them even faceplanting to the floor in utter defeat.

Peter, still recovering from the shock, muttered, "I... I think this is going to be a very weird adventure..."

Satria, undeterred by the chaos his choice had caused, continued to smile confidently. "Don't worry, I'll make sure my nakama is cool. I'm going to be the greatest Tamer the world has ever seen!"

Kazuma slapped his face with both hands in frustration. "I can't believe this..."

The guild continued to stare at Satria, a mix of disbelief, confusion, and sheer exhaustion on their faces. The tension in the air was palpable.

Kurumi sighed, amused. "Well, I guess we'll see how that works out."

Just as the confusion from Satria's choice of class began to settle, a loud rumbling noise echoed from the distance. The ground trembled slightly, and the sound grew louder, as if an army was on the move.

Kazuma squinted. "What the hell is that noise?"

Suddenly, from outside the wall, a horde of flying cabbages appeared, soaring through the air like a swarm of bees. Their green leaves fluttered like wings as they charged toward the group, moving in a chaotic, yet somehow organized, manner. 

Luna stared at the scene, her eyes widening. "The flying cabbages! They're here! Everyone, get ready to catch them!" she shouted, trying to maintain some semblance of order.

•

Peter, his face lit with determination, swung into action. He leapt into the air with enhanced agility and, using his spider-like powers, began webbing up the flying cabbages mid-air, catching them effortlessly and adding them to his makeshift "cabbage cage."

Kurumi, her crimson eye gleaming with malice and excitement, raised her hands. "Let's see how they like this." She conjured a swirling vortex of dark magic, sending blasts of shadowy energy that knocked several of the flying cabbages out of the sky, where they plummeted to the ground.

Emilia, with her warm, radiant aura, raised her hands high. "Holy light!" She cast a radiant spell, creating beams of holy light that gently guided the flying cabbages down to the ground, softening their landings and preventing them from escaping.

Kazuma, who had yet to fully process what was going on, gritted his teeth and quickly threw his hands up. "Alright, fine! If you can't beat them, join them!" He began swinging his sword wildly, cutting through a few cabbages with ease, though he wasn't nearly as graceful as the others. He grumbled under his breath. "This is stupid, but I'm not going to lose to a bunch of flying vegetables!"

As the group continued to chase and capture the flying cabbages, Satria suddenly stopped moving, standing still with a confident smirk. Everyone froze, curious about what he was up to.

Kazuma, panting and holding a half-shredded cabbage, frowned. "Hey, what are you doing just standing there? Don't tell me you've given up already!"

Ignoring him, Satria raised his hand dramatically, his golden aura shimmering like sunlight piercing through clouds. "Behold... My Awesomeness!"

A low hum resonated in the air as his skill activated. The flying cabbages, which had been flitting about wildly, suddenly froze mid-flight. One by one, they turned and floated toward Satria as if hypnotized. Within moments, they began orbiting around him in a graceful spiral, their green leaves glowing faintly as they revolved like planets around the sun.

"What the...?!" Peter muttered, dangling from a web in disbelief. "Is he... taming them?"

Kurumi narrowed her eyes, a sly smile playing on her lips. "Fufu... This is unexpected. He's actually commanding them like loyal servants."

Even Emilia, who had been channeling her holy light, stood in awe. "He's not just catching them. He's... befriending them? This is incredible!"

Kazuma, meanwhile, fell to his knees, his cabbage clattering to the ground. "What kind of ridiculous cheat is this?! How is he doing that?!"

Satria's grin widened as he struck a flamboyant pose, raising one arm high into the air while the other rested on his hip, mimicking a famous pose from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. The cabbages swirled faster around him, creating a vortex of green that only added to his dramatic flair.

"Rejoice, my leafy comrades!" Satria declared, his voice dripping with theatrical bravado. "For I, the Golden Emperor, have graced you with my benevolent presence! Together, we shall find... Two-Piece!"

The entire guild fell silent, save for the sound of the cabbages softly whooshing around him. Then, chaos erupted.

"IS HE SERIOUS?!" Kazuma screamed, clutching his head.

Peter facepalmed. "I... I don't even know how to respond to this."

Aqua pointed a finger at Satria, her face red with frustration. "That's not fair! That's just showing off!"

Darkness, however, clapped her hands in admiration. "What elegance! What dominance! Truly befitting of a conqueror!"

Megumin, not wanting to be outdone, pointed her staff at Satria. "Hmph! Don't think you're the only one who can create a spectacle! I'll show you the ultimate move of the Crimson Demon Clan!"

Before Megumin could unleash her explosion, Luna stepped in, frantically waving her hands. "Wait, wait, wait! No explosions in the town, please!" 

Satria, still maintaining his pose, let out a deep, exaggerated laugh. "Wahahaha! Do not despair, my friends. It is not I who am extraordinary; it is the cabbages who recognize my greatness!"

Kurumi chuckled, tilting her head. "He's either a genius or a fool. Perhaps both."

Emilia giggled softly, her usual kind demeanor shining through. "At least it's entertaining."

As the cabbages finally came to rest around Satria in an orderly pile, he straightened up and gave the group a thumbs-up. "And that, my friends, is how you tame flying cabbages with style."

•

Satria looked at his swirling cabbage entourage with a childlike pout, holding his hands to his chest. "But I already named them! How can you guys eat them? They're my cute little lotus and cabbage friends!" he exclaimed, his voice tinged with exaggerated innocence as he dramatically looked to Kurumi for support. 

Kurumi, slightly embarrassed, grabbed Satria by the collar and pulled him aside. "Sorry, everyone," she apologized to the group, her usual calm demeanor faltering a bit. "He can get a little... carried away."

Satria, however, wasn't done yet. He stood tall and crossed his arms, his face flushed with indignation. "You guys are monsters!" he continued, dramatically pointing at Kazuma and the others. "How could you just eat them like that? They have feelings too! Look at their little faces!" He pointed at the cabbages as if they were innocent creatures pleading for mercy.

Kazuma, clearly losing his patience, smirked and crossed his arms. "They're Lotus and Cabbage, dumbass! They're grown to be eaten, that's their purpose in life,"

Suddenly, before Satria could launch into another dramatic monologue, a familiar ding sound filled the air, followed by a flashing notification in their dimensional chat.

___________

[Mission Success: Giving special prize to @Shin]

_____________

Everyone paused, looking around in confusion. The chat seemed to be giving a prize, but none of them had completed a mission that warranted a reward—until they noticed something materializing in front of Satria. It shimmered and glowed, taking shape until it became a golden, intricately designed magic lamp. Satria blinked, utterly dumbfounded. "A magic lamp? What's this? Did I just get a Genie or something?"

Satria reached out cautiously, taking the magic lamp in his hands. It was cool to the touch, and he could feel a strange power emanating from it. He smirked, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Hmm, what should I wish for first?" he muttered, turning the lamp over in his hands, half-expecting something to pop out.

Kurumi raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. "Knowing you, I'm sure you'll waste your wish on something stupid."

"Hey! I'm not stupid!" Satria protested, his face flushing with embarrassment at the teasing.

The golden lamp began to glow brighter as a swirl of smoke poured from the spout. The air shimmered, and with a burst of light, a beautiful female genie appeared before the group. She had long, flowing blue hair, sharp features, and an aura of elegance that made her seem almost otherworldly. She wore flowing robes adorned with intricate golden designs, and her eyes glimmered with ancient power.

"Greetings, Master," she said, her voice smooth and melodic, carrying a hint of authority. "I am the Genie of the Lamp. You have released me, and in turn, I will grant you three wishes. Choose wisely."

Satria's eyes gleamed with excitement as he eagerly jumped forward, a wide grin spreading across his face. "I wish for unlimited wishes!" he declared with enthusiasm.

The genie's smile faltered slightly, her eyes narrowing in an almost imperceptible way. "That... is not permitted," she said, her tone still respectful but with a touch of finality. "Death, love, and the granting of more wishes are prohibited."

Satria's expression dropped, but before he could protest, Aqua piped up from behind him, eyes sparkling with excitement.

"I wish for high-class, very expensive booze!" Aqua exclaimed, her tone full of childish glee as she crossed her arms, looking satisfied with her request.

The genie didn't flinch, merely nodded. "Your wish is granted."

In an instant, an array of crystal-clear bottles filled with luxurious, golden liquor appeared before Aqua. The bottles sparkled with an otherworldly glow, their labels written in an elegant script that screamed premium. Aqua gasped in delight, but her satisfaction was short-lived as Satria and Kazuma turned to her, both scowling.

"Are you serious?!" Satria groaned, his face contorted in disbelief. "You wasted one of my three wishes on booze?!"

Kazuma, rubbing his temples in frustration, added, "You stupid and useless Goddess! Of all the things you could wish for—booze?!"

Aqua blinked, her grin slowly fading. "But... but I wanted it!" she whined, trying to defend herself.

Satria, still visibly upset, turned his attention back to the genie, who was patiently waiting. An idea sparked in his mind, and he smirked. "Alright then, if I can't have unlimited wishes, I have a better idea." He crossed his arms, his eyes glinting mischievously. "I wish to turn Kazuma into a Chinese-speaking Beaver!"

The genie raised an eyebrow, clearly taken aback, but nodded. "As you wish."

In a flash, Kazuma was enveloped in a strange light. When the light faded, the group stared in shock.

Kazuma, now standing on all fours, had transformed into a fluffy, beaver-like creature, his tiny paws clutching the ground. His eyes were filled with indignation, but the real shock came when he opened his mouth and began to speak.

"Ni hao! Wo shi... Ka... Ka... kao!" Kazuma spluttered, his voice a strange, squeaky combination of Chinese and beaver-like chatter. His attempts at swearing were now unintelligible, leaving the group in a fit of laughter.

Satria, Megumin, and Aqua laughed hysterically, clutching their stomachs in amusement. Kurumi smirked, her crimson eyes glowing with amusement, while even Emilia, Peter, and the genie seemed to hold back a smile, though she was clearly trying to maintain her composure. 

[Fatalis: Hahahaha! Oh, Satria, you truly are a treasure! You're far more amusing than I imagined]

Kazuma, now a beaver, was furiously gesturing and speaking in rapid Chinese, clearly protesting his new form and the absurdity of it all. "Zhen shi bu xing!" he squeaked out, his words a combination of angry Chinese and the unintelligible squeals of a beaver.

Aqua was practically crying with laughter, wiping tears from her eyes. "Oh my gosh, this is priceless!" she shouted between giggles. "Kazuma, you look so cute and stupid!"

Satria, grinning ear to ear, wiped a tear from his own eye. "I never thought I'd see the day when Kazuma would be reduced to a Chinese-speaking beaver!" he chuckled, still shaking with laughter.

Even the genie let out a small chuckle, though she quickly composed herself. "I suppose that is a... unique request," she remarked, shaking her head with a bemused smile.

As the laughter subsided and the absurdity of the situation settled in, Satria turned to the genie, prepared to make his next wish. He was about to open his mouth when suddenly, a furious voice interrupted him.

"Turn me back, you bastard!" Kazuma shouted, his tiny beaver form now furiously waddling toward Satria. His beaver tail slapped against the ground in frustration, and he chattered angrily in Chinese, though it was mostly unintelligible. "You idiot! I'll get you for this!"

Satria rolled his eyes, already expecting this. "Oh, calm down, Kazuma. You're just a beaver now. And I don't understand Chinese except for Cingcong."

Before Satria could make his next wish, Emilia, who had been watching the chaotic scene unfold with a slightly confused but concerned expression, stepped forward. "Excuse me, Genie," she said, her voice sweet and gentle. "Could you... turn Kazuma back to his human form, please?"

The genie nodded graciously, her golden eyes softening as she acknowledged Emilia's request. "As you wish."

The instant the words left the genie's lips, a flash of light enveloped Kazuma's small beaver body, and when it faded, he was standing there once more, his usual human form returned. His clothes were a bit disheveled, but he was very much himself again.

Kazuma blinked in shock, then immediately collapsed onto the ground, tears of relief spilling from his eyes. "I'm... human again! Thank you, Emilia!" he cried, his voice cracking with emotion. "You're an angel! Unlike that stupid Goddess and that wannabe emperor!"

Satria stood frozen, his jaw hanging open in disbelief. He had just been seconds away from making his next wish—he had even planned on tricking the three-wish rule in his favor. But now, his entire plan had been derailed, and he was left sputtering in frustration.

"Noooo!!!" Satria moaned, clutching his head in dramatic exasperation. "Why?! Why would you do that, Emilia? I had the perfect plan! You've ruined everything!"

Kazuma, now back to his usual self, sat up and grinned widely, still wiping away the last of his tears. "I don't care about your plans, Shin," he said smugly, his usual sarcastic tone returning. "At least I'm back to being a human again. And all thanks to Emilia-san."

Emilia smiled softly, happy to have helped. "I'm just glad I could do something for you, Kazuma."

"All wishes have been granted," she declared with a graceful bow. "I must now return to my realm. Farewell, Masters."

Aqua, still sipping her booze, waved dismissively. "Relax, Satria. It's just a lamp. You'll get over it."

Kazuma crossed his arms, glaring at Satria and Aqua in equal measure. "You're both idiots. Seriously, this is why I can't have nice things."

"So," Kurumi began, her voice smooth and teasing as she broke the silence, "is your name Satria, or Shin? Which one is real?"

He turned to her, seemingly caught off guard. "It's Satria. Shin is just my nickname. Why?"

Kurumi couldn't hold back her laughter, a melodic sound that echoed through the air. "You're full of surprises, Satria-kun. Honestly, I thought you'd be all serious and mysterious. But now you're just a big softie with some weird antics."

Satria puffed his cheeks, crossing his arms defensively. "Oi! I am cool! I just have... unique methods, okay? I have a vision for the world. A vision to... uh... make it more exciting and fun, alright?!"

Kurumi smirked, her crimson eye glinting mischievously. "You're definitely not what I expected, but that's part of the fun. Besides, you make everything interesting, even if it's a little chaotic."

Satria pouted even more, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. "I'm still cool, you know. Just because I'm not some stoic, brooding hero doesn't mean I'm not impressive!"

Kazuma, who had been listening quietly, couldn't resist joining in. "Yeah, you're definitely something... Maybe the world's first cool disaster."

"Shut up, Lolizuma!" Satria snapped, throwing a playful punch in his direction. 

She tilted her head with a soft smile, her tone shifting to something more genuine. "But you know, I think that's part of your charm. You don't need to be brooding or mysterious to be interesting. You're fun just the way you are, Satria."

His pout softened at her words, though he still muttered under his breath, "I'm still cool..."

Kurumi smiled, leaning back slightly as she continued to watch him. "He's definitely not the Emperor he pretends to be, but maybe that's why he's so captivating. A man who's both strong and silly... That's something worth keeping an eye on."

To be continued.