Chapter 6 [Zyaire]

I slowly open my eyes as I look around me and realized that I'm at the apartment. I looked at my clothes and my suit was changed into long sleeve top. I checked below the blanket if I have shorts or pajamas but nothing on even an underwear. "You're awake," Eliott said while he walk towards me. I scratched my head with my other hand as I sat up and asked "What happened? And why the hell that I have a top but doesn't have pajamas or shorts?"

"You collapsed at the restaurant hours ago. You had a fever a few days ago as well and it was also due to stress said the family doctor. Also about the shorts, it was kind of a hurry to change your clothes so we covered you in blanket. Sorry, we kinda forgot." He said while I nodded "He said that you need to rest for at least 3 to 4 days,"

"Okay. It's fine," I said "But what about my-"

"Don't worry, I already called Christian and he told me that they'll come and visit in a while. I also called the office, a guy named Markus said that he'll go with Lulu? Luke? Louis? Who was it again?"

I chuckled as I look at him, being all confused "Lucas, dummy." I said. We awkwardly fell silent as we avert each other's eye. I deeply breath in as I gathered my courage and asked "Did you regret what happened last night?"

"Uh I-"

Suddenly, Mr. Hanasawa opened the door with a tray on his hand "Are you alright now, sir?" he asked. I nodded towards him as he approached me and put down the tray. "Cesar and Christian just arrived, sir. Should I call them in?"

I looked at Eliott as he averted his eyes and goes back to Mr. Hanasawa to say "Yes, please." As they entered, Cesar quickly walked towards the bed and sat beside me. He held me by the cheeks and said "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did you eat already? You're not sleeping well, aren't you? Are you having an insomia? Should we call an ambulance now? Do-"

"Okay calm the fuck down, Cesar." I chuckled as I hold his cold hands and put it down "I'm fine. Just stress and stuff like that," I said, making him feel relieved. I looked at Eliott and Mr. Hanasawa and said "Uh I'm sorry but I'll be discussing something with them. Can I please ask you to leave the room for a while?"

"Sure," Eliott said as he stood up, followed by Mr. Hanasawa. I sighed as soon as they closed the door.

"What's the matter?" Cesar asked while Christian sat down on the chair.

"I'll be honest with you both." I started "I don't know why I feel this way but I always knew to myself that I love Elizabeth. But throughout college, after meeting Lucas, he seemed awfully familiar and something tells me from my heart that he's the one. But.." I leaned forward to Cesar's shoulder and said "Eliott. I think he's regretting about what happened last night,"

"Why didn't you say that to me about Lucas? I've always liked Lucas for you. Also, last night?" Cesar wondered. "Did something happened with the both of you?"

I hesitated to tell them at first but gathered the courage and said "We made out and he... fingered... me," I blushed as I move back and cover my face.

"I knew it," Christian said.

"Oh shut up," I said "But I think-"

"What makes you think that he's regretting it? And about Lucas, why are ignoring my questions about him?" Cesar asked. I sighed even more and said " I just don't wanna talk about Lucas for a while. And I don't know, gut feeling? Plus, we've only met a couple of days ago."

"Sexual frustration?" Christian asked.

"I don't know. We didn't talk much about his life nor mine," I said. "By the way, did you tell Cesar about what happened this morning? Why does he seem so clueless about Lucas?"

"I have no right to tell something like that and you know that, Zee." he said "I'm quite offended,"

My eyes widen and said "I'm sorry,"

"Told me about what? What about Lucas? You love him so much that you want to let go of Eli?" he asked. I breathe in deeply and said "This morning. Lucas, somehow confessed to me." I looked down and sighed even deeply.

"Lucas? Hmmm, wait." he wondered "You didn't realize at all? I mean he looks at you so differently every time. I noticed how he really takes good care of you when he sleepovers in the main house," I smiled at Cesar and nodded.

"Though I thought it meant nothing," I smiled, with disappointment.

Suddenly, I flinched as soon as I heard a knocking on the door. Christian stood up and opened the door. I can't help but blush upon seeing Lucas entering the room as everything happened this morning came back to me. "Markus! Lucas!" Cesar shouted as he approached the both of them with a hug. I glanced at Christian to see his reaction. Yup, definitely menacing.

"Hey kiddo," Lucas said as he pats Cesar's head "How's school? You'll be graduating in high school, huh?"

"Fine, I guess." he answered. As Cesar talked to Markus, Lucas walked towards me and sat down on the bed. He asked "Are you okay? Do you still feel sick?" He casually puts his hands on my forehead, checking my temperature.

"I-I'm feeling quite better," I said as I averted my eyes and slightly shove his hand away.

"We'll go out for a while," Markus said, pulling Christian and Cesar out of the room. As soon as Markus closed the door, Lucas tried to reach for my cheek. But I immediately flinched and closed my eyes "I'm sorry," he apologized as he stopped before reaching and puts his hand down. "I must be adding to your stress, I'm sorry for that. I didn't understand why you asked me if I hate you now and that you will request for changing locations when I should be the one to distance myself from you." he said as he bows down his head and look dejected. I didn't think twice when I reached out for his hand as I hold it without even trembling.

"I told you, didn't I? You don't have to, I don't want you to leave." I said. "I was just overloaded by what happened today. About you kissing and having feelings for me, Mr. Hanasawa having stage 2 leukemia and about Eliott whose been hesitant to get close to me up until now." I sighed as I felt suffocated once again by this feeling. Lucas moved closer to me, wrapping his arms around my body and gently pushed my head on his shoulder, making me lean and cry.

"I see, so it's been hard for you." He said as stroked my hair down. "I think Eliott made dinner for everyone, since he was already cooking when I entered." He smiled and slightly push me "But let me get this straight, well you're not." he chuckled at his own joke. I glared at him and slapped his shoulder "Ow!" he shouted "Seriously, you've had it hard. It must be suffocating but I'm here, your brother, Christian, Markus, Mr. Hanasawa. We're all here so don't hesitate to be honest about how you feel." he said. "And about my feelings, you can forget about it though."

My eyes widen and slightly push him to look at his eyes. "Forget about it? But why are you looking at me like that?" I asked and cried more as I look at his dejected face. I bit my lower lip as I pulled him by the collar and smashed my lips against his. He pushed back as I made an entrance and becoming more desperate. I felt him flinch as he suddenly pulled away and looked at me with surprise. "U-Uh let's eat dinner," he said as he slightly panicked and stood up.

I hold his hand and pulled him back while I quickly sat on his lap, facing him as I wrap my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. "I just wanna... apologize but can you please keep liking me while I figure out what I feel? Can you wait for me?" I said, although I know how much I love you. "I'm still confused and my head is all jumbled up,"

"You're really cruel," he said. He looked up and covered his eyes with his arms as he said "You do realize that you don't wear something below, right?"

I slightly push him as I blushed and felt something bulging below. Out of curiousity, I opened his pants' button in a flash and checked. I gasped as soon as I slightly pull it down. "You're huge,"

"Really... You..." he said as he quickly closed his pants. "I need to borrow your bathroom," he said as he carried me and put me on the side.

"I can help you-"

"Do you really think I will let you help me when you're all confused and somehow vulnerable in this situation?" he asked as he walked towards the bathroom. He stopped by the door as he slightly looked back and said "I am not an asshole who will only use you for my own pleasure. Sex is not what I'm aiming for, Zee. Fuck sex, it is nowhere as good as being with you. And you told me to wait, so I ought to follow what you have said. So please can you give me some alone time, to handle this...situation." he slammed the door while I'm all suprised and blushing at the same time. Hearing those words, somehow it made my heart flutter. I stood up and quickly go to the closet as I quickly put on shorts.

"I'm sorry Lucas." I whispered. "I keep on hurting you,"

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After a while, he finally walks out as he tightens his belt and sighed. "You're making me feel quite guilty," he said. I chuckled as I stood up and said "Let's eat," I smiled. I blushed as he smiled back and pulled me by the hand. As we walk out the door, he slowly let go as soon as he greeted the others. I looked over to Eliott, who didn't seem to notice me, having a fun conversation with Cesar. As I look at Christian, he doesn't seem to mind but I do. I wonder what they're talking about?

"Zee?" Lucas whispered as he pull out the chair and motion me to sit. I shake my head and sat down, across Eliott. While Lucas sat beside me, I slightly slouch down as I remembered what I asked Eliott a while ago. "Are you okay?" Lucas asked as he whispered. I nodded slowly and took the spoon. I was about to stand and get a soup but Lucas suddenly stood up and served some for me. "Do you want to eat chicken as well?" he asked.

"Ah yes please," I smiled.

"Thigh, right?" he asked as I nodded to him. As soon as he gave me the chicken and I thanked him, he poured my glass with water while I slowly eat the soup. He suddenly started slicing the chicken on my plate in bite size and smiled. This guy's really making me confused.

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After we were all done eating, I tried helping them clean up but they all glared at me and shouted "SIT DOWN!" As I sat down on the couch in the living room, Eliott suddenly sat beside me and look down. "About what you asked, I don't know to be honest." he said "I know we're somehow childhood sweethearts and friends but this is all new to me as well. I'm more of a go with the flow kind of guy. I don't have much experience with a guy besides friendship unlike you,"

I pulled my leg up and said "Did you actually think that this is not new to me?" I gulped and looked at him directly to his eyes "I admit that you are my first love and I somehow felt guilty that I didn't even noticed how I treated Elizabeth because I'm thinking you are my missing piece and I only realized that after she asked me if I did really love her. Mind you, she's the only one I ever dated."

As tears streamed down my face, I closed my eyes and stood up. I turn to him again and said "I always think about you all these years and I was happy to see you again! I thought I was finally complete but why? You also said you missed me and loved me all this time," I asked "Why are you making me anxious?" I cried more.

"What I mean, maybe you had an experience from guys. Like you know, having sex with them or stuff or like what happened last night." he said.

"Just because I gave in last night, it doesn't mean I'm like that to other guys! It was my first time," I shouted as I wipe my eyes and sighed deeply. "Fuck you," I whimpered and glared at him.

"Are you guys fighting?" Lucas asked as he walks towards us. I look back and see them looking our way. My heart stings while my head hurts at the same time. All of this is making me even more confused and unable to think clearly. I held my head as I stumbled and lose balance while walking backwards. "Zyaire!" Lucas shouted. I didn't know what happened after as I became unconscious after Lucas caught me.