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War Goddess' Guide to Creating the Perfect Husband

Khirelle, the War goddess, is hailed as one of the greatest fighters since time immemorial. However, no one knows this indisputable fact, except for Zeus himself. But not even he, nor Hercules, can even dream about defeating her. This goddess of war may be the most powerful on this planet, but when it came to matters of the heart, though? Love? Pfft, forget about it! Love, is the only battle she'll always lose on, again and again. Whoever said, 'There's plenty of fish in the sea,' obviously didn't know what it's like to be a goddess who lived in Mt. Olympus! Everyone knows how messed up the Grecian deities are when it comes to relationships, and that's putting it mildly. Undeterred by what's considered 'normal' in their society, Khirelle takes matters into her own hands and decides to create her partner entirely from scratch. Yes, literally. Using an ancient spell, she has to go through a long and arduous journey that's filled with never-ending trials that'll continuously test her to her utmost limits. A grand adventure that's packed with violence, laughter, heartache, friendship, table flip worthy scenarios, self-discovery, and let's not forget - tea, and even more tea. - "So, all these ingredients I'm going to gather, they're going to be used to create my husband?" "What? My concern's pretty legit, you know? I mean... 30 River siren femurs, 10 Elysian worm skulls, 5 Centaur skin... I don't know about you, but don't you think this destined better half of mine, is going to end up looking like a chimera at this point?!"

Ankth · Fantaisie
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36 Chs

Plains, Meadows and the Tartarus.

I respond by giving her a light smile in return. "Thank you, Lachesis. As you may already know, I want to ask you about 'Adelchi'. If you know anything about it, anything at all - please tell me. I'd be extremely grateful."

"Mmmm... Adelchi, was it? So you want it for 'that' reason, eh? Aren't you old enough to stop dreaming about being a little 'princess' waiting for her prince charming by now, Goddess of War?" Clotho smirks as she spouts insensitive things to a stranger without care.

I ignore how rude she's being and continue to smile as I answer her question seriously, "Yes, that is correct. Any information would be great actually. I've been searching high and low for it and I've come to a dead end." I look down and exhale deeply.

When there's no response, I look back up again.

"But... if that's not possible..." My voice grows faint for a little, until I pick it back up again, "Since you can look into the past, I'm wondering if you can confirm what happened with 'Chaos' and the gods that were born from that time?"

Looking quite dumbstruck, the minor goddess just continues to stare at me, slack-jawed.

Clotho then starts ranting at me like nobody's business. All the words just burst forth out of her mouth like a raging torrent of water, "... You want me to WHAT? Look into the past?! Oh, my goodness...! Do you realize what you're even asking me to do? God... this woman! You've got QUITE the nerve for asking me this! That's waaaayyyy too far into the past! There's nothing you can EVER give or do for me that would convince me to ever do that for you. Why? 'Cos it's almost like you're asking me to keel over and die for such an asinine reason! Really?! Do you even care if I die from it? I know we're immortal, but wut?! Are you crazy?! But you know what the worst part is? It's not only that I die, but whenever I do this, I have to suffer an excruciating death! Not only does my head feels like it's going to implode, but I also start profusely bleeding out of every orifice, and it ain't a pretty sight! Think of all the outfits I've ruined! It's not just that, but AFTER my brain fries, it'll even gush out of my ears and nostrils. That means I'd be expelling out some brain chunks, you know?!?! YOU REALIZE HOW DISGUSTING THAT IS? I know you didn't know, but I STILL wanna smack you so badly right now! GAH! ... I can't even...!" Clotho dramatically fans herself with her hand as soon as she finishes.

...

Holy mother of—!

She talks so fast with barely any pauses. It's almost as if the entire rant's a short rap song, except that NOTHING about it is even catchy.

I give her a pained and awkward smile as she glares at me, all the while looking like she's about to pass out from lack of oxygen.

Random thought comes to mind: I somewhat pity the fool who'll fall in love with her.

Fortunately, after years of experience dealing with others, the way to go about this is to be... Ta-dah~!

Be UTTERLY callous AND shameful!

I can't get swept up by their awful treatment.

Not only will we only end up arguing; but I'd most likely make the three of them extremely furious. Then, for sure I'll get nothing done at that rate.

Mm, good plan.

Alright. If looking into the past doesn't work. Then perhaps the future, might?

... Worth a try, I guess.

Before I could ask, though, Atropos sighs, "Yeah, yeah. It'll work."

"... Huh?" I look at her with mild confusion on my face.

Oh.

I wonder if she's extra grumpy because she has to go through similar scenarios over and over again with other people. Basically, Atropos has to continually go through the same events, the same conversations, and whatever else.

A lifetime of this can wear anyone out, but then, it'd also wholly depend on who.

...

I look over at Atropos, and it seems like she has quite the mean-spirited disposition in the first place.

... Yup.

Atropos continues, "Thankfully, it's when we're forced to interact with someone long enough as 'our fates are intertwined' or whatever bullcrap. OR, if we decide to look after a person or over an event for a while."

She pauses, then breathes out deeply as if to calm herself. "I just need to endure this for a certain amount of time, and then it'll be peaceful once again as soon as this crap's done." Right after explaining, she looks off to the distance.

Lachesis clears her throat, places a hand on both of her sisters' cheeks, and intervenes. "I better do the rest of the talking; this is taking WAY more time than it should. And for heaven's sake, I love you both, my dearest sisters, but PLEASE, SHUT UP!"

Yes! THANK YOU! FINALLY!

I secretly express gratitude to Lachesis in my heart. Now, tell me what you'd like me to do!

The Goddess of the Present turns to me and says, "Before we proceed, you must know that once you start the ritual, you MUST complete it. There may be terrible consequences if you don't. We do not know of the exact effects, but it may be as dangerous as your life ceasing to exist.

Since we're immortal, it might be something like being trapped in a dark realm for eternity with nothing else in it.

There's also a chance that it might not do anything too severe, but would you take that risk?"

I think for a moment before responding, "Well, the entire reason I'm here is to know if the Adelchi spell's even real. Since you haven't turned me away, then you must have seen something that can confirm it to a certain degree."

"You've just warned me that you don't know what the consequences are, so that tells me that the vision of the future was most likely blocked or something, somehow. Preventing even the most powerful clairvoyant goddess to see any further."

"So unless there is something so dire like if I complete the ritual, for example, people who are important to me will suffer severe consequences; then that's the only time I'd decide not to complete it, for obvious reasons."

"Fair enough," Lachesis pipes up.

"We do have the information that you seek, but of course, we will not do this for free. In exchange, you must go to the Elysian plains, the meadows of Asphodel, and lastly, Tartarus."

"You must gather one oka of Heroes' tears from the plains of Elysian."

"From the meadows of Asphodel, you must pluck all the flowers there and turn them into condensed magical essence, or it'll rot away as soon as you bring it outside."

"Then from Tartarus, you must slay something the Titans have left behind during their imprisonment. One of the titans bided their time and made it out of revenge. At the time, they didn't know though that Zeus did plan on releasing them eventually."

"They came to the conclusion; that they did not want to jeopardize their freedom, so they kept quiet about it. Since it was unfinished, they buried it deep underground. For some reason or another, though, what once had no life is now threatening to break free. It may grow to wreak havoc if it ever escapes hell."

"On its back, the creature has a parasitic Hellworm that grew five heads. It's in control of the host, so you must eradicate the parasite at all costs. It's an ingredient we'll need for reasons that we will not disclose to you, or at least, for the time being.

You must scorch it using sacred fire for three whole days. Bring the charred remains back to us."

"If you ever find anything else, be sure to bring it along with you. This is extremely important, alright? Don't forget anything I've told you about. Here, bring this with you." Lachesis hands me, of what seems to be like a checklist for everything she just mentioned.

I immediately pause. With an unimpressed expression, I stare at the paper for a big longer, then look back at silky grey-haired women, "... Really? Did you just use a grocery checklist pad for this? I don't know why, but it just feels so wrong somehow."

"... What? I'm resourceful, alright? It works! See?! It even has checkboxes to tick off as well! Why does everyone find it distasteful for me to use it this way?!" Lachesis, who is now completely red in the face, yells out in protest.

It looks like I've been releasing two chapters every other day. OwO;;

Also, I estimated this part of being around two chapters, but it's become five instead. RIP.

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