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Waifu Catalog: Crushing Missions For A Beautiful Future

A man achieves the dream, he's been selected as a Contractor for The Company. He's about to live a life uninhibited traveling through fiction and doing whatever he wants because the Waifu Catalog is all about indulgence, but what's this? The Company is actually profit driven now? The Catalog has difficultly settings? Contractors need to have an IQ above room temperature to succeed? Not a problem. Come with me on the adventures of Donnchadh MacFarlane and see for yourself how he takes life as it comes and take opportunity by the balls. You can support me and my family at ko - fi . com / jmanm

JManM · Anime et bandes dessinées
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8 Chs

Signing Up

This seems like a far more raw deal than the Waifu Catalog I'm familiar with.

"Oh, don't be like that, Champ." The Isekai Genie chided me for my lack of gratitude at being offered a spot in The Company.

How much of that narration was my own thoughts on the matter or the influence of the purple skinned buff Bob Marley I don't know. Even if the being of ultimate cosmic power is reading and influencing my mind, I'm savvy enough not to call him out on it. No amount of garbage tier fanfiction will ever convince me that it is a good idea to mouth off to something that can end me or worse with a thought.

"That right there is why I'm here." the Genie smiled, his inner golden glow lighting up his mouth like he swallowed a sun recently, "Isekai Genie is posting poor numbers, and needs a ringer to make up for certain… poor choices in contractors. You know what's up from reading the mission section. I can't afford to throw big money at every mouthy brat with the IQ and disposition of the average shonen protagonist. All the Executives are looking to post better numbers to help put the boot to all the dogs nipping at our heels, but it's not all bad, Isekai Genie might hold you to a higher standard, but he can loosen other things up for you."

The Isekai Genie flipped his hand and my Company Device smartphone jumped to the Template Stacking option in the Talents tab. The toggle for non-exponential price turned on. I went in to explore my options, but noticed a distinct lack of fictional characters from which to copy powersets from. Are these guys really this hard up?

"New World Templates only, basic human only options for Substitutes, no espers, mutants, magicals, lab experiments, transhumans outside of purchased Heritages… homegrown powers only till you finish your first world."

Something that would likely take a thousand years considering the three missions Isekai Genie saddled me with.

Despite or perhaps because of his limitations, I spent a lot of time going through my options. Baseline human mostly meant human and at or below Tier 3 on the power list, which means pushing the upper limit on mundane skill. Ultimately I chose Turin Turambar, tragic hero of the First Age and prophesied risen messiah of Middle Earth, the ultimate avenger who would finally slay Morgoth for good. I felt the man should be higher than Tier 3 because he was a legendary warrior of First Age Middle Earth, a time period that can be accurately described as Metal as Hell. The man had a meteorite sword made by an elven edgelord that he used to slay the Father of Dragons and a magic helmet race locked to GigaChads only that turned major wounds and increased the GigaChad's fear generation. On top of this he dwelt among the elves from a young age, which in the First Age caused men to power up. Likely due to massively increased culture from elf maid appreciation.

Jokes aside, Turin beat orc ass like a Cherokee drum, and should have been Tier 4 at least, but likely got the Tier 3 due to a mix of his own poor judgment and Morgoth, Middle Earth Satan, hating his father, Hurin, so much that he locked him to a chair, refused to let him die, and made him watch after telling him "upon all whom you love my thought shall weigh as a cloud of Doom, and it shall bring them down into darkness and despair."

Thing is, no Morgoth, no problem.

"Keep working angles like that, champ." Isekai Genie approved, seemingly ambivalent to the loophole in the spirit of my restriction.

"Do I get the Yggdrasil System of power by default because of the Veni, Vedi, Vici mission inserting me as the scion of a disgraced noble house, or not?" I asked my benefactor.

"Nope. Turin doesn't originate in the New World, so he doesn't have that innate connection even if the mission gives you a backstory." Isekai Genie helpfully explained.

Honestly, he's been pretty G despite all the nerfs.

Over in the Talents section I took a five point purchase of Added Potential to add me to the Yggdrasil System of power, allowing me to take Job Classes to grind levels and boost my raw power. After that I took the Genie up on his discounted Template Stacking to purchase the Tier 4, skills, abilities, and equipment of Gazef Stronoff, Remedios Custodios, and Antilene Herean Fouche, then boosted Gazef and Antilene to Tier 5 with Template Stacking II.

These didn't just grant me their powers, but instead gave me a framework to rapidly gain them, and the ability to use them. Here is where the wheat is separated from the chaff. By taking Added Potential: Yggdrasil System, I could now gain power the same way New World characters in the Overlord Light Novels powered up, a non-interactive RPG system based on racial and job classes. Basically, people align themselves with an archetype and through training and experience level the job class up to gain class skills and attribute points.

A Tier 4 Template Stacking allowed me to take 30 Job Class levels from a character, Tier 5 allowed 40. Between Antilene, Gazef, and Remedios I had access to all the job classes I wanted for my build, and would gain class levels like I hacked the game with a PC Trainer.

"Ring ring, bruh." Isekai Genie smirked, "And you were mad disrespectful considering without all the imposed limits you wouldn't have figured out how to get right to Tier 7 or 8 power for only 110 points. Adversity breeds creativity, this is the secret sauce Isekai Genie was missing to make his adventures pop!"

Thanks Isekai Genie, I appreciate being appreciated.

With that settled I ran over to the Binding and Lure tab to switch away from the Virgin Company Stamp and select the Chad Shroud of Power for 60 points, granting me a semi-sapient cape of solidified magic power that acts as an extension of my will, with specific synergy in the creation of outfits and weapons. Certainly an expensive purchase at sixty points, but it served as the junction for many powerful options and beefed up the magic power in my admittedly unga bunga build. There was some nuance coming from mostly Remedios's job classes, but the vast majority of my build is centered on don't care, am stronk.

I selected the Elemental Shroud option, and from the dropdown menu took the Xeric Shroud, which enabled the generation and manipulation of the earth element, including gems, crystals, and metals. This wasn't yet a fine control so I couldn't yet do my best Gaara of the Sand impression then SURPRISE! twam anyone that thought getting close to me was the solution to the puzzle of how to beat me, but that is an option in the near future.

More important to the now, the Xeric Shroud allowed me to fuse the magic metal armors and weapons I was getting from my Turin origin and my Template Stacking. I boosted Gazef specifically for his gear, considering the man only had thirty job class levels to take from, but at Tier 5 had access to the Royal Armaments of Re-Estize that had some great quality of life enchantments.

While still in the character generation menus I was able to play around with certain things, and as such had no problem previewing how the Shroud would affect my gear. All Shrouds could consume armor and outfits, enabling the Shroud to take on their characteristics for its own use, but it struggled to take on weapon properties unless properly aligned elementally. With the Xeric Shrouds specific powers over metallurgy it managed to not only take on my new weapons, but combine them fusing the beyond masterful elven craftsmanship of the black blade Gurthang with the magical sharpness and defense penetration of the teal blade Razor Edge and the evil slaying and low key holy Excali-blasts of the silver blade Safarlisia. The three swords twisted and curved together to form a new glorious inseparable greatsword luminous with magic and might.

So too did my armor reforge. I combined Turin's best elven armor, with Gazef's royal treasure set meaning that the solid adamantite gained a level of craftsmanship that improved even that most expensive of new worlds metals while maintaining it enchantments of increase durability, health regeneration, and endless stamina. Then I added the little I needed of Remedios's lesser armor to transfer its flight enchantment which paired beautifully with my next purchase and its ability to generate magical wings for me to fly with. I kept Antiline's White Neko Armor out of the mix due to its power being restricted to my 5th Tier power until I was worthy of its full might. I'd add it later to the mix to gain its superior defensive capabilities once I was strong enough to unlock them.

For the aesthetic I went with Ultra-rich Green Knight had a baby with an Abrams Tank. I wanted people to doubt that there is a human being inside my beautiful suit of armor covered in yellow, white, and rose gold and gem work depicting animals, plants, and mountains. The shell of metal created by the Xeric Shroud certainly met that requirement, but my next purchase filled it out and turned it into an organic suit of power armor.

I had enough points to purchase Prismatic Shroud and one copy of Three Piece Suit, two more Shroud powers that let me pick an additional Element, this time the Primal Shroud that let me generate and control animal biomass. Three Piece Suit enabled me to utilize both Shrouds at once rather than toggle between them. I intended to do this once more with the Jungle Shroud and another copy of Three Piece Suit so I can become the unofficial Avatar of Gaia and be the Lord of the Earth and All Life.

That might seem like a weird flex, but one of the missions - With Velvet Glove - has two obscenely valuable optional objectives for creating a religion - not a cult unfortunately (though there was another mission to form a cult that I'd saved to take at a later date) but an organization so numerous that governments have to recognize it - where 90 percent of the adherents actually believe I'm a god, and then becoming the most worshiped god in the setting.

I have a thousand years to do it, but I have mad faith in myself, enough to fuel my paladin magic. I'll crush that deadline.

The Primal Shroud allowed me to create a perfect fusion of meat and metal by coordinating with the Xeric Shroud. The Primal shroud created a black sable fur great coat that hung of the pauldrons of my armor and an arming suit of exo muscles that filled out the golem like shell of metal which bore its own massive weight by its magical symbiotic nature. More mass, more muscle, fuck yeah. More than just mass and muscle the Shrouds worked together to make eyes on the helmet that looked like stylized gemstones and connected to my own field of vision. The Shrouds also created ears and a nose that exemplified the best the animal kingdom had to offer at Tier 5 power. These connected to a spinal brainstem that ran down the back of my armor and ran a nervous system down the suit that connected with me at the base of my skull. One might say this suit of animal powered biomechanical armor is… wild.

I didn't just play with my gear in the Character Generator, but also my future self. My Elemental Shroud purchases came with a lot of freebie talents and defenses, including Body Tune Up. That talent let me adjust the already Chad Turin's body for maximum physical strength and domination within the realms achievable without PEDs. Think Statue of Hercules rather than Mike O'Hearn. Though it capped out at 6 feet and 10.6 inches (210 CM) the Body Tune Up worked down to the fine detail of specific muscle bone attachments and the range of motion of each joint. My new body became a barbarian hulk capable of achieving perfect Janu Sirsasana and Dhanurasana forms.

Turin possessed a fair beauty so impeccable people called him the elf-man, and not even a more muscular face and magnificent beard broke that, though the effect of the Xeric Shroud did away with the 'fair' part of my appearance by giving me rich tan skin. It also turned my light gray eyes into something appearing pools of liquid diamond so I didn't need to rush for a Lure like the Love Spot to ensnare women.

In the immortal words of Your Boy Sponge, 'Long, tan, and handsome. Want to be dating me.'

After giving everything the once over I confirmed my purchases, spending my entire 335 point budget and transforming into a new creature, something so far from myself a moment prior that I doubted my continued humanity.

"Ah yeah." Isekai Genie nodded with a grin at the sight of my new form, "Get ready, champ."

"Hold up." I stalled the being and flipped over to the Missions tab, "Before I step into Overlord I'm taking a training mission."

The Company offered a multi-versal version of the Bloody Palace where Contractors can pit themselves against enemies from multiple fictional settings scaled to provide a challenge at their power Tier. In the palace all death and injuries will revert, enabling Contractors and their retinues to battle endless hordes of enemies without any real risk beyond stress, something manageable with the Stress Defense perk purchasable for 5 points.

Killing your first enemy on this training mission grants 5 points.

"Already grabbing missions. That's why you're my ringer, champ." Isekai Genie nodded and with a wink sent me onto my next great adventure.

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Author's Note: I've recently been spending a fair bit of time on Questionable Questing. I've had an account there for years, but hadn't taken the time to learn how navigating that site worked. Now that I've rectified that, I know it for the tragedy it was, because that site is full of weirdos like me.

I wanted to contribute something to that community as thanks for keeping me entertained, something that has the essence of what I've found there, but with my usual sideways contrarian take. So I chose the Waifu Catalog, because it's pretty QQ and despite giving it my best effort I haven't seen anyone come at it like I would.

So I checked out the Interactive Waifu Catalog a few months ago and wasn't feeling hundi about it. I came back a week ago and the catalog was updated with more difficulty settings and I knew the time was right.

Some things to know about my writing: My heroes tend towards the more classical hero than super hero morality. Think Beowulf and Achilles. Though I don't shy away from adult content, I don't write pornographic scenes much. I recently polled my Webnovel fans on whether or not I should write more porn, even specifically for this type of story, and in a stunning moment of internet wholesomeness everyone agreed that they didn't want porn, they wanted plot. And it wasn't even because they thought I was bad at porn! What world is this? I think I can count this as one of my miracles for canonization.

You can support me and my family at

ko - fi . com / jmanm