Chapter 3: Mother

University Student, Zed, Human

Gregorian Calendar: Year 2030, Month 2, Day 11

State Prison

-Yesterday, mom went crazy again, you know, she tried to kill me while I was sleeping. Don't you think it's creepy? In fact, she tried to kill her own son. Since this has happened a few times already, I was cautious. Every night, she secretly put sleeping pills in my drink. This time, she went even further and put poison in it. Of course, I noticed it instantly. After all, the poison smelled like crap, so I just poured it down the sink without her noticing.

-...

-I don't understand much, why did you have to marry that kind of woman? You are a damn psychopath just like me. In fact, we are two of a kind. She, on the other hand, was a very pure woman, innocent, as clear as a blank sheet of paper. She fell madly in love with you. It was a big mistake, poor thing... She had to fall in love with a guy like you.

-...

-But still, I don't get it, why didn't you abort me? It would have saved that poor woman a lot of trauma. Seriously, you had nine months to do it, but even then... Look at me now, I'm 20 years old. You could have also killed me when I was just a baby.

-...

-Seriously, I don't understand, yesterday mom had a mental breakdown... though it's not the first time her fragile mind breaks like glass, I've lost count. When I stopped the knife that was going straight for my throat, I saw her eyes, they were full of fear and desperation. That's all I can remember of her. I always saw her crying at home, even when I was just a five-year-old kid.

-...

-Last night, she broke down crying while kneeling and kept asking for forgiveness over and over, you know, saying something like she didn't want to do it... she went to a corner and stayed silent while staring at nothing... Seeing her in that state, I thought it was the perfect time to sleep, so I did. Do you know what I saw the next day?

-...

-She was trying to take her own life, but in the end, she didn't have the courage to do it. Poor woman, she's really broken inside... Then she started crying again... I have no idea where she gets so many tears from, I've never seen someone cry as much as she does... In the end, she fell asleep on the couch while her body trembled a bit...

-...

-Seriously, I don't get it, no matter how hard I try to think and melt my brain, I don't know how she could fall in love with you... I imagine her in a normal, ordinary family, and without a doubt, she would be very happy and not miserable like she is with us... Don't you think so?

-...

-In my 20 years of life, she never told me "I love you," at least as far as I can remember. She always looked at me with fear, as if I were a monster, even when I was a five-year-old child. I don't know what she saw in me, but she was always scared of me... I was always alone, she never attended school meetings, nor my graduation. She even denied that I was her son... The only thing I can remember is her trying to kill me.

-...

-But of course, she met another man, you know, she had a daughter, so... you could say she cheated on you. No, wait, you two are already separated... But you see, a girl was born, she was just like her. Of course, my mother never let me see her, after all, she was afraid I would kill my own half-sister... She's tough on me, but still, I respect her decision. She is now 10 years old... With the birth of the girl, my mother seemed to regain a bit of her sanity.

-...

-But something curious happened yesterday, my half-sister came into my room. Her eyes were so... so innocent. Seriously, I've never seen that kind of look before, they were so white and bright. She looked at me with curiosity and smiled, her smile was brilliant. I felt strange because no one had ever smiled at me like that before... She sat next to me, and we talked for a while. It was funny, she told me that yesterday she just found out she had an older brother, she had just learned of my existence. My mother hid me well.

-...

-But in the end, my mother ended up running into my room. I could see how her eyes filled with desperation, and she quickly took my sister out of the room, then she locked my door with a padlock... I think that's why she tried to kill me last night... I don't know why she acted that way, I'm not capable of hurting my sister... I wanted to talk a bit more with her.

-...

-That same afternoon, I started to think, what if I had been born normal, you know, like my sister? Would my mother love me as much as she loves her? I'm not sure, I can't fully imagine a scenario like that...

-...

-A very funny story, don't you think? Honestly, she could kill me very easily, but maybe my sister would stop her from doing it. I don't think she would want her daughter to be left without a mother... It's a great sacrifice, really, it's enormous... I think I can understand her because even I wanted to protect those innocent eyes of my sister.

-...

-I don't understand her... but... yesterday she moved out... now the house is very empty... I think she finally took that step... I have no idea where she went, but I suppose she went with her husband and took her daughter with her. She didn't leave any letter, no, wait, she did leave something, look, it's a knife, it's the same one she tried to kill me with yesterday...

-...

-Tell me, don't you think it's beautiful, the blade of the knife? It's so delicate, it looks like a beautiful petal of a rose... as sharp as the thorns of the same rose. In fact, the rose is the best of flowers, the best plant that could exist on this planet... Tell me, father, with this beautiful rose in my hands, what would it feel like to cut you into pieces with it...

-...

-Tell me, father, you understand me, don't you? After all, I'm just as twisted as you... Yesterday, I thought about killing my mother when she was asleep. Only that way could I be with you, in prison, only that way could I be capable of killing you... like you did with me...

-...

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