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V.I.R.A.L

Fantastique
Terminé · 973.4K Affichage
  • 348 Shc
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  • 4.3
    23 audimat
  • NO.200+
    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

In a world full of superhumans with fantastical abilities the idea of superheroes is seen as nothing more than childish dreams. The superheroes are instead streamers, people stream their crime-fighting ordeals for the world with the whole reason of getting rich and famous, nothing more, nothing less. The concept of great power means great responsibility is thrown out the window for a new era of supers. Alton Brantley is one such person. Working two part-time jobs to make ends meet he keeps his powers a secret not wanting the burdens of his past to define him. This changes however when he is met by a larger than life girl Zinnia, she dreams of being a real-life superhero like the ones of old. Forming Team Rhapsody they begin to climb the ranks gaining new allies in order to become the most famous streamers the world has ever seen.

Étiquettes
9 étiquettes
Chapter 1The Underpaid nobody and the girl with no name Part 1

"Do not be afraid; our fate

Cannot be taken from us; it is a gift."

― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

The girl watched the area around her fizzle away into nothing. A bright light broke out, snatching everything in sight as all she knew and saw faded before her very eyes. The light consuming all. Memories were being torn from her mind. She couldn't do anything but watch. A great power burned into her eyes as she was on her knees crying, unsure why. Her power faded alongside her will to keep fighting.

Silence bestowed as the girl stared at a figure with an unknowing gaze. She couldn't think, speak or move any part of her body as she fell into a silent husk. Eventually, her head began to move as she slowly saw her body began to fade away like nothing more than a bad dream. First, her legs slowly vanished into nothing. Soon follow was her arms and hands. Her body wasn't long after. She wanted to scream, cry out for someone to save her. Anyone in her eyes but there was nothing. No one to see, no one to feel. She felt nothing and yet everything at the same time. Tears stopped falling as they faded with her body. Finally, collapsing, the girl disappeared with her memories. The figure looked down at her, speaking in a threatening yet soothing tone all the same.

"This is Salvation."

The girl faded away alongside the rest of the memories of the world as everything ceased to exist. The end had come, and Salvation's Calling was heard across reality, all leading to one fate.

The End.

****

"Imagine streaming for nine hours straight… I'm knackered, and I still have that twenty-four-hour stream next week."  A petite dark-skinned man grumbled standing idly in the road facing a stolen set of cars. He grabbed his hoodie, pulling it off as the car gained on him. Rolling it up and neatly placed it to the side as he rubbed his large stomach which made his streamer outfit stretch, a golden armour suit which sparkled in the moonlight. He crouched down, moving his arm around, ready for the car. As it was inches from his face, he lifted his hand, touching the bonnet of the vehicle. The moment his hand made contact; the car was flung high in the sky. He gave the drone streaming his heroic task a dull heroic pose before placing his hands in his pockets as the vehicle smashed back down to the ground. Two young men crawled out coughing. The man walked over idly, watching them. As the first one got up, he placed his hand on the man's chest before throwing a punch sending him flying back. The other thug raced up, attacking him. Before he had the chance, The streamer rubbed his chest as a punch landed. The thug screamed out, holding his hand, which broke the moment it impacted the streamer. He fell to the floor, crying. Shaking his head, the streamer gave his drone a look before turning to the thug. "Donations in the chat. What should I do with this low life? The highest donation gets to choose."

"Vanguard_Connor35! Another big donation as always… where do you get this money from, I don't know? $300, kill the criminal Vanguard." The thug's eyes widen as he tried crawling away. Vanguard pulled him back smirking. "Sorry, buddy, I guess today isn't your lucky day. The audience wants a show and who I am to disappoint my audience? Time for the main event!"

  ****

Alton had finished his work shift. It had felt longer than he first thought, but it didn't bother him too much. Along several other work colleagues, he entered the break room with a long yawn ready to clock out. While the others were laughing and chatting about the night's plan. Alton sat in the corner clipping the single long nail which had been bothering him since he noticed halfway through his shift. Cupping the nail, he dropped it in the bin opening his locker, grabbing the last bites of his sandwich. Swirling a gulp of two-day-old water, he slammed his locker closed seeing one of his work colleagues standing by. "The guys were wondering if you wanted to come drinking with us?" Alton gave a dodgy look at his other colleagues who were all snickering. "It's just. You never come out maybe it would be good for you?"

Alton gave a quick smile clocking out before sitting back down. "I'm busy again. Too much on my plate."

"Oh, I hear ya, next time maybe?"

"Yeah. Next time." Alton stuttered standing back up and clocking back in. "See you, guys."

Alton left the group as the others sighed. "Don't let him get to you. He's turned us all down." Another one spoke. "He does this for the five days he works here. Double shifts every day. That doesn't even include his second job."

"Who the hell needs to work that much at his age?"

"I heard he racked up a lot of debt and owes some shady people an absurd amount of money."

"That's not what I heard. I heard he's been peer pressured by relatives to pay for their expenses."

"Or maybe he just wants to save up enough now to make a living?" The others laughed again as he looked lost. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"It's better to just forget it, new guy. Alton Brantley isn't somebody you all care to know. Always giving everyone the cold shoulder. I'll tell you one thing. Without a doubt, he keeps going the way he's going. He's going to die alone."

Alton stepped out of the break room looking in the freezer's reflection, adjusting his short bleach white hair. Tightening his green apron, he walked towards the counter and got back to work.

"Do you know if this tomato sauce is sugar-free?"

Alton glimpsed down at the sauce scanning over it, he gave it a little look handing it back. "I'm not sure."

"Could you check?"

Alton took back the sauce turning around looking through the database, he began skimming through the folders of products. As he kept looking, he noticed someone else watching him in the corner of his eye. He turned around seeing a girl with pink hair scrunched up into a bun with neon green eyes leaning on the counter her hands holding her head up. She gave a smile looking slightly uncomfortable. "Umm, excuse me. Where is the bathroom?"

Alton gave her a strange look pointing to his right. "Next to the staff breakroom on the left." And as quick as she appeared, the girl vanished into the store. He rolled his eyes, going back to the customer. "Yes, mam it's sugar-free."

The girl wandered around the store, standing in front of the toilets. She gave it a little look before turning back, heading back towards the counter. She grabbed a chocolate bar pushing it towards Alton. He took it, scanning the sweety good as the girl kept staring. "I sense it. You are definitely the one."

"I'm what?"

"My name is Zinnia. I sensed someone powerful. It's without a doubt you."

Alton handed back the chocolate bar feeling uneasy as he tried avoiding the topic altogether. "That will be 1.99."

Zinnia began piling through her pockets, counting the small amount of money she had. She started placing the coins down one by one trying to count only to mess up trying again. Alton could already tell she didn't have enough, but he didn't feel like telling her wasting both of their times. She continued to search through her pockets, hoping to have the last of the change needed. "I need your help. I was told someone powerful could help me."

"Right…" As Alton patiently waited, two streamers walked in boasting, causing a racket. They began waltzing through the store like they owned the place. They began knocking stock over laughing as a drone zipped around after them. Alton watched grumbling under his breath. "Streamers…"

"I can't even feel-good doing this, what the hell happened?"

"You'll get that fiery spirit back one day Monty. Believe me; you just need the right moment."

Zinnia watched them too, but unlike Alton, she seemed much more bothered by such means. They walked past stuffing bags of crisps in their backpacks and pockets. Zinnia walked up to them, yelling. "Hey! That's called stealing, you're meant to be helping people not stealing. You're no different to the villains!"

One of them walked up to her, pressing a baseball bat against her stomach. "You better watch your mouth pretty face; you don't want to cross us."

Alton gave the two pampered faced boys a strange look as he stood back. For some reason, he just knew these two were trouble. One wore a rather expensive looking black spandex with jewellery plastered all out his arms. He had a dragon tattoo covering his neck with a small tattoo of a gun on his left hand. On the right was a snake tattoo which crawled up his arm and behind his suit. Not wanting to cause any sort of trouble he knew it would be much better to just let it be. No point starting a racket if one could be avoided.

Zinnia turned to Alton in shock. "They are stealing from your store, sir; you have to stop them."

"This isn't my store… please stop talking you're making this so much more trouble than it has to be." He muttered getting the looks of the two streamers now. The other one, which was a sizeable bulking brute stood over the counter staring down Alton with a smirk. "Can I help you?"

"The money in the tills. Give it to us. Do that, and we will look this over."

Alton complied without much retaliation taking a small amount of cash from the till while placing another small amount in his pocket. "There, I want no problems, I don't even know who she is."

The Brute chuckled to himself, counting the cash. "Nice, I like people like you, do as you told. If only the lass could take notes."

Alton watched as the Brute was about to step away before smirking. "Since I like you so much how about you help a friend out." He points to the drone. "We want to spoil our dear viewers for getting us to such a huge milestone. You have a safe out, back, right? Go get the money for us."

Alton took a deep breath stepping away from counter ready to give in to such manners. This was stopped by Zinnia stomping her foot down. "I can't let you get away with this… I'll… I'll stop you."

The Brute and tattooed boy both began laughing surrounding Zinnia. "Ooh, playing the hero, are we? How brave of you." Zinnia stepped back gulping as she held her hands up. "I guess you missed the memo little lass. The superheroes are dead!" She was knocked to the ground yelping as she looked up in fear. The Brute turned to Alton still behind the counter. "You going to help her?" Alton looked away giving the two streamers his response. The Brute chuckled to himself as Zinnia looked distort by the terms. "That's a good boy. Now go fetch our reward."

"Why?" She cried out. "You could stop them. Fight back."

Alton stepped over the counter, shaking his head. "Don't go dragging me into your superhero fantasy. I'm not going to get myself hurt over something I can avoid. You brought this on your own. You just had to stay quiet, and it all would have been alright."

"And while he's at its Monty, check his wallet. Any extra will be nice." Alton stopped making the Brute raise his eyebrow. "Why did you stop?"

Alton sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "Look, this store is insured anything taken isn't my problem. But could you leave my money out of this?"

"Oh? Your demanding stuff from us now? Talking down to us now? I take it all back. I hate little shits like you. We give you the benefit of the doubt, and you start taking advantage of our hospitality. Tell you what. I'll make it, so this little lass here won't be able to walk if you don't hand over the wallet."

Alton slouched over, waving his hand around with a slightly annoying matter. "I have no money. The safe has way more then what you're after. Forget about my wallet will ya?"

The Brute picked up Zinnia as he towered over Alton. "I don't want your wallet for the money. I want your wallet because you have the nerve to piss off the Montague brothers."

Alton folded his arms sighing. "Well, you are just going to have to kill her then, because I ain't doing as you say."

The Brute threw Zinnia to the side, cracking his knuckles. "Or how about we beat it out of you? We get all the money, and our subscribers get to watch your beat down on repeat."

"Well then, that's different," Alton muttered pushing the tomato sauce spilling it on the floor flooding it everywhere. "I can overlook others. But threatening me. I can't avoid conflict, so I can defend myself."

"Oh yeah? And what can a pipsqueak like you do?" The Brute tried moving only to find himself stuck on the spot. He looked down seeing the tomato sauce is frozen to his foot and the ice only moving up his leg. "What the fuck."

Alton flicked the small drips of sauce off his hand and over the Brute as the small drops froze covering his face. "I wish you hadn't done this. I honestly hate these powers and want nothing else than to never use them again, so just know this. You forced my hand." All the ice melted burning the Brute's face and leg. He cried out as the liquid morphed together and around Alton. The Brute covered his face. Before he could attack the liquid swarmed forward blasting him across the shop through serval sections to the magazine area. "You haven't said a word since you walked in, maybe you're the smart one here."

The tattooed man, Monty, shook his head disappointed. "I too was hoping for no conflict. My brother does like to play the part. However, I cannot overlook such an insult to my family. You are going to regret crossing us." The dragon tattoo on his neck moved around, climbing down to his arm as his hand began to crackle with small flames.

The liquid from the sauce jar came back to Alton hovering in small condensed balls over his hands. "The only one who is going to regret something is you walking through those doors." 

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audimat

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  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
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Critiques
Aimé
Nouveau
EmzByte13Lv12

Right, I guess there would be some minor (?) spoilers in the World Background section of this review. I didn't put a spoiler tag because that normally deters people from reading the review. So, this is just a warning in case you haven't read the book yet. There's currently 53 chapters, and I just read all of them. The book's good, very good, and it's a shame that it doesn't have much of a following currently. Firstly, the writing quality is pretty good. The descriptions were eloquently put, and while the paragraphs were a bit long in the first few chapters, along with the spelling and punctuation mistakes as well as typos throughout the book, I really can't criticize it. Story development is good too. I dunno what to put in this area. The plot proceeded smoothly, and hints are given throughout the book as to what possible future developments may be. Right, into character design... I love the characters in this book. Every single character has their own personalities, thoughts and feelings and react in different ways to the situations that come up. Not to mention, there are no forced relationship developments, and even the antagonists have their reasons that could be considered justifiable when you look at everything that's happened from their perspective. You can also notice the changes in each character as they go through different situations, and how they reflect on things that happen in the past in a realistic way. Yeah, the characters were remarkably realistic and relatable, which is one of my favorite things about this book. The chapter's updating stability seems rather, well, stable. I can't exactly judge since it's still near the beginning of the book based on the developments that have happened so far, and most of the chapters seem to have been released en masse. Ok, onto world background. This is one aspect that wasn't as strong as the others. I'll still give it 4 stars, since things are still in the process of being introduced gradually, and the things we've learnt so far have been introduced in a natural way. Just that we don't really know that much about the setting of this world. To sum it up, some people have superpowers, an incident happened long ago, and superheroes were frowned upon after that so ability-wielders decided to make money from streaming their exploits instead. The 'city?' is surrounded by a wall that protects everything inside from whatever the fúck is going on outside. Seems to be an ice age? Of course, that's not everything, but in all honesty, I don't have a clear picture of this world. There are too many questions currently, and I understand that everything will be slowly uncovered in due time, but this is all I can put as of right now. To sum up, this book was great. I willingly gave up my time that I was supposed to be completing important work to read this, and it's now quarter to six in the morning. I have no regrets. I highly recommend it; while there are probably some slightly shiner diamonds in the rough, this is a rather unique and interesting one, and my personal opinion between both types of books will always favour the latter such as these. [img=recommend]

Nightfall_ProtocolAuteur

Greetings all! This is the author of V.I.R.A.L, nearly four months ago I gave a review for my book, giving people a rough idea of what the story was going to be about. A lot has changed then with two more volumes and the fifth one well on its way. Because of this, I wanted to update my review to be in line with the, what I believe, is the quality of the book. Much of the points I put through with that review still stand. A slowish pace character-focused superhero story with multiple main characters. This will not change as it's my characters that really carry the story, don't just take my word for it, others reviews agree, and while the story is now really kicking off, I'm only under halfway through the story I want to tell. The other problems people had with this story I've tried my best to fix, I've gone over each chapters improving the grammar and spelling mistakes to the best of my abilities! (There will still be spelling mistakes, of course, I'm one person) which will make for an easier reading experience. I've also added small changes and additions to the first few chapters to give a more exciting beginning and an insight into the world my story take place in. Speaking of world-building. I've made it my absolute goal to make my story a living breathing one you can believe in. Although it only takes place in serval locations, I believe that I've really built up the backstory and history of my world into one of wonder and mystery waiting to be explored over the last few volumes. With the main threat teased through the book well on its way, I'm more excited than ever to keep building the story and history of this world for you all to read. Lastly, I want to thank everyone for reading; if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be able to improve my book the way I have. I'm always looking for ways to make the best story possible, and any criticism is always appreciated, and I love every review and comment made. So as of today, this is my definitive review that will be on the front page until the last chapters. The first review I gave my book 3.8 stars which I thought was fair at the time of the story. But now with more chapters, world-building, character development and grammar checks, I can happily give myself 4.4 stars. I hope both new and old readers keep up with this ever-growing story through 2021 and beyond!

Nightfall_ProtocolAuteur

Hello all, this is the author behind V.I.R.A.L. I thought this would be the easiest way to talk to you all about this book. I thank you all for taking the time to read this story, I've had this story idea for years now, and I am so looking forwards to writing it. As of this moment, my spelling nor grammar is fantastic, I have no editor, so I must edit and produce these chapters daily. Please excuse the spelling mistakes! This story sees the concept of superheroes being internet personalities like streamers and YouTubers. This story follows a group of streamers trying to make ends meet and become the number one streamer. I thought before you read this story, I would give you a heads up on what the information is like the pros and cons in my eyes. The cons to this book to some people may include -Many main characters. As of volume 1, I have six main characters. This means not everyone gets the spotlight and some might be forgotten for a while although I do try and give every character their moments to shine -Slow pace. Compared to other superhero stories, don't expect a fight scene every chapter. I can have serval chapters of just character development and day to day activities. I wanted this to be a character drive story so a lot of action can take a back seat for that. -Poor Grammer. It's something I can't hide. The earlier chapters have plenty of spelling mistakes and grammar, which I can no longer fix. The now updated ones have mitigated this, but I cannot promise any errors here and there. If you guys can get over those shortcomings, then I welcome you to V.I.R.A.L, a character-driven superhero story with hardship, friendship and betrayal as becoming a streamer isn't easy. Please give it a read for yourself and have a look. P.S I gave myself 3.8 stars as that's where I believe that is where the story is as of volume 2. I have big plans and hope to gain more fans and love. No story can ever be five stars in my eyes as there is always room for improvement!

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