Unrefusable offer

He was desperately searching for life inspiration and to feel any strong sensation. He wanted to feel one of those ardent emotions that books exaggerated about, the kind that movies raved about. He wanted to feel alive and desirable!

He knew that he was seeking some kind of intimacy, but in the truest sense, even to himself, he had a problem defining exactly what it was that he was hunting for.

Observing a pair of his friends, all head over heels in love, he wished he had at least someone to cuddle with. It didn't have to even involve any extensive feelings, just the physical intimacy of it would do the job for him. Deep down, he felt jealous of those looks full of love, gestures of tenderness, and sweet embraces in his presence.

He had been in love. Once! Probably, he wasn't really sure if it was love or only infatuation, or just a storm of hormones of an emotionally maturing guy. In the end, she chose somebody else and they were still together, so maybe she wasn't the one for him.

Anyway, he had completely different priorities back then, where there wasn't any space for any kinds of distractions, but it still hurt. The plans and implementation of the big dreams were first without any concessions or compromises.

On the way to his desired destination, he got lost somewhere. He was aware that something was missing in his life, but he could not quite clearly and logically specify what it was. Maybe it wasn't in that quantifiable, visible, or empirically verifiable zone, but not everything in life was tangible; it was something that could not be seen, touched or verified in any possible way.

Did he miss love? What is love?

Butterflies in the stomach? Shivers and goosebumps whenever you think about the one you are in love with?

Was that an emotional swing when you don't know if you will be accepted?

Accelerated breathing and heartbeat, and a dry mouth just thinking about your 'the one'?

Is it also when one forgets about his appetite, has a rosy flush on his face all day, that someone might even mistake it for a fever?

He considered the most common signs of love that he had heard about. Did he feel lust for that kind of an experience?

Did he really have any shortcomings or deficiencies in his life? To some extent, yes. He felt a craving for some kind of strong sensations, for sure.

In the constant run to achieve the desired goal he had set for himself, he had no time for pleasures, so now he was trying to play catch up. He had also decided to make up for his shortcomings in the department of relationships that exist between a man and a woman; and if the heavens decided to be kind, and actually, as befits a guy with character, he will use all his assets and handsomeness to their best…

Regardless of the circumstances, he was aware that at least he wasn't in danger of problems with concentration. He won't lose the ability to use a logical approach to life.

He had trained hard for years to be able to completely separate himself from the surrounding world at work and make the right decisions without the slightest emotion and fully use the knowledge gained over the years in experiences of all kinds.

This was an advantage that he possessed over mere mortals who were guided by emotions.

***

After bidding her goodbyes to the large group of people whom she had admired for years, she felt completely empty and burned out. No feelings of affection, no mere empathy, and less and less sensations with the passage of time, she didn't feel an iota.

'Love' became a mere word in her terminology. Just a mere neurobiological process that involves twelve areas of the brain, which activates to release euphoric neurotransmitters like dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopressin. At the same time, sophisticated cognitive functions related to the creation of mental representations, metaphors and body image change; in short, it was all trickeries of the mind.

It sounded very good, but in reality, even just for the sake of experiencing the explosive mixture of emotions, her logical brain felt that it would be a miracle if she was tempted by it. It was the kind of miracle that she hadn't awaited. To her, the only real feeling was adrenaline, but it was getting harder and harder to find even that.

Recently, another death of a close one brought back so many painful memories for her. She tried to fight them as much as she could, but there was nothing more she could do. Nothing really worked. In the end, she was left feeling extremely empty.

She wondered if she was still able to feel; not love, but just any form of affection, admiration or even pure lust. Without knowing when, she had become like most of her friends: cold, distant from any deep human feelings, emotionless.

In the end, it was a good thing for those who needed to be tough, like a lawyer, pilot or a doctor, but not for somebody like her, who needed a lot of emotions to help her with her creative processes.

She became one of those people whom she used to despise: human zombies driven only by the will to survive at all costs while remaining on a pedestal; driven by the lust of success, more money and more fame.

She was looking forward to the Christmas season and meeting with her close friends. She made some calculated and thoughtful choices.

She was going to one of the places she loved. Paris was the synonym of pure reset, great meetings, and a jolly time spent with her friends.

Sometimes, when they were drunk, they joked that if they didn't find their 'The one', they would stay together. At least they knew each other like their own pockets and understood each other without any words. So that would be more like a perfect partnership, than a relationship… so it was kind of a solution for her worries at the moment.

She was fed up with her friends constantly trying to set her up with random hunks. She had to admit that sometimes she was attracted to their beautiful bodies, but there was absolutely nothing more than that. So her friends tried even harder to set her up…

She never knew when and how another potential candidate for the position of her life companion or a boyfriend would approach her, thanks to her thoughtful friends. At the beginning, she felt it was fun, but with the years gone by, it became one of her incubus.

She stopped going to the gym, to her favorite club, or even to the restaurants which she used to visit on a regular basis.

It was frustrating to the point that she tried to stay away from her friends, the ones she loved. She needed to clear and reset her disorientated soul and aching heart. And a one night stand or an evanescent romance were just not the remedy to her illness.

For the last few months, she planned a month-long June trip, also to the place she had fallen in love with, many years ago. The place she felt obsessed with for so long. Once, she had already found her peace there, so she knew that she had to go there again.

Somewhere in the depths of her soul, she hoped that this time too, the heavens would be kind to her and she would find peace there.

She tried hard to visit the place in the last few years, but every time that the trip was planned, her friends were taking her somewhere else. They ended up being in so many other interesting places, but never there again.

This time, she decided to show the middle finger to everybody. It was decided and set in stone. She was going alone, and without even telling anyone. Only her camera to be her kind companion.

For a long time, she was scrolling through hundreds of photos to find the perfect nooks and crannies where she could capture the beauty of the place on a reel. She had memorized the angle of the sun's rays at all times of the day and knew exactly where she needed to get the perfect shots.

She planned to take a flight around, but this matter wasn't fully planned yet. She still had to work on that. There was still the choice of plane from which she wanted to take some photos, but none of those available were perfect for carrying out her plan.

The planes of the nearby flying clubs, which offered sightseeing flights, did not offer a good choice in her opinion. So she considered initiating her plan with one of her friends and arriving at some time more suitable for taking pictures.

Never did it feel like a phase of a dream to her. There weren't dreams in her life anymore; only plans which were carefully crafted with Swiss precision.

Another day sitting at work, she scrolled through more photos of the places she was obsessed with, while her fingers fiddled with the symbol of that place hanging around her neck for years and praying to St Michel to save her aching soul…

She was getting closer and closer to her goal. This gradual approach to her holy grail gave her some kind of peace and comfort. At least, it made her get through another day at work.

One day, while looking through aeronautical maps and the possibilities that they gave her, alternately with some photos, quite unconsciously she left some comments... To her surprise, someone had replied to it. She wasn't in the habit of talking to people she didn't know in real life, but she was so engrossed in fine-tuning her next trip that the fact slipped her mind.

She answered once, then once again, and before she knew it, and despite the fact it was none of her friends, she was conversing quite freely with the stranger on the other side of the screen.

She was fighting a lot of concrete shit at work, and most of all she had to survive for several more days, pretending to be a tough guy so that what was going on around her didn't bother her at all.

In addition, at the beginning of the week, another person with whom they had been meeting for years under the proverbial fence of military bases, died. The fact that a colleague from work was no longer going to be there either hit her with an even greater force.

She had to make it till the end of the week. That was going to be the longest and one of the hardest weeks in years. Right at the end, one of the cases that bothered her, was supposed to be solved, but it was already in the middle of the week and she was reaching most of her limits. She was no longer counting days, but hours in minutes...

Talking to someone who didn't know her was a distraction from the shit she was battling with the last of her strength... until she got a photo of a man's torso and his long, beautiful neck straight out of the shower and an invitation from the owner of that yummy neck to join in.

That was a blow to her most sensitive spot. Only her damn close friends knew that she had the fetish, so it was definitely her friend's trick.

'Guys, you are dead! I will find the culprit no matter what and I will let you pay for that!' She thought. 'Besides, I will give a lesson to that yummy hunk too. Why not?'

And she sailed into the intrigue, until she got an offer she couldn't refuse, to spend the night together.

Despite the terrible fatigue, she rubbed her hands with excitement about what she was going to do.

She left work early, just after finishing one of the cases that had been burning her. On the way, she visited one of her besties.

"Here's my location, if I'm not back by late evening. No! If I'm not back by morning, you know what to do." She instructed an astonished Luke, showing him her location.

"What are you planning, badass?"

"Nothing interesting."

"Really? I see the sparkle in your eyes, and it's usually fucking ominous. Are you planning to murder someone or what?"

"Something like that."

"Can you arrange a taxi for me to this hotel?" She gave the name to him on the piece of paper.

"If you're up to something nefarious, where are the appropriate clothes?"

"Fuck you, Luke! I'm on my way home from work."

"If you're going to conquer some beautiful body, can you at least paint over those panda eyes?"

"Do I look that bad?"

"No, you look even worse." He replied with true pity.

"Great! If someone can't accept the sight of you when you're at your worst, on the edge, they don't deserve to see you at your best."

"Okay, but at least high heels and some reasonably decent clothes would be nice. And for the love of God! Tell me you are not wearing those trekking shoes." He pointed to her feet.

"I didn't ask you for your opinion."

"But I know how a male reacts to those long legs in high heels."

"Shut up, Luke!"

"I remember how you proved that it doesn't take to show your boobs or ass and red lipstick or red nails or even a sexy dress to make guys want to get in your panties at all costs."

"It was ages ago."

"But that was a very educational lesson. And not only for me."

"Okay, here's the location. I see a taxi outside. I have to collect myself before I fall asleep somewhere along the way and lose the possibility of logical thinking." She stated.

"Don't cross any boundaries you don't want to, badass!" Luke was really concerned about her actions that night.

"I won't."

"Don't do anything you'll regret later." Saying this, he hugged her, then kissed her forehead tenderly. There was nothing more he could do. She was a mature adult and she was going to do what she planned, anyway.

"You know I won't."

Thousands of thoughts swirled in his head upon hearing her reply. He wanted to know what she had planned. He was horrified to see that ominous gleam in her eyes. It didn't bode well for anything or anyone, he was sure of it.

Before she knew it, the taxi was parked in front of the hotel. She quickly paid and left the car.

Before she realized that it wasn't the right hotel, the car had disappeared around the corner. There were no free taxis here. She had to order one on the app.

"I'll screw you, Luke! As soon as I get my hands on you." She sent a text to her bestie.

"You only have a thirty-minute walk ahead, a little over 4,000 steps, you do more to get your coffees from the canteen every day, to cool down and rethink your plans." She read a quick reply from him.

"Fuck you, Luke!"

"We used to walk ten kilometers without a warm-up on a daily basis, so this should be a piece of cake for you."

"Fuck you, Luke!"

"I love you too, badass."

She was on the wrong side of the road. Walking along the sidewalk, she noticed that the cars that were going in the direction she was heading to were on the other side of the highway. She had tried to call known taxi networks several times, but the coverage was so poor.

Luke, watching her walking in the right direction, on his phone, was well aware that he was saving someone's ass. At least he had to know who she was going to meet. The answer came very quickly to him.

A friend sent him a message asking what their gem was up to, because she had asked for some man's schedule. Unfortunately, his buddy was at work and couldn't talk to him.

Considering the damn sparks in her eyes, all that pointed towards trouble, he considered going after her as soon as he could...

***

"Are you downstairs?" She read the text.

"I am having lunch. Will you join me?" She replied.

"Where?"

"Bar."

"Which bar?" He asked.

"Downstairs."

"Is it you?"

"Yes."

"Wtf?"

She liked that part. It looked like she had achieved what she had intended to do. That was a good sign.

"Yes, brilliant brain. Your wish has come true. What would you like to eat?"

"Nothing right now. I just woke up. I need some time…"

"Do you need help with putting something on?"

"I do…"

"I can eventually only take it off."

"I have my pajamas to take off."

"I don't mind."

"No, wait. I'll have a quick shower and will meet you downstairs." It seemed like the hot hunk was panicking, but she ignored his reaction and typed another text.

"Don't provoke me, I can't skip my lunch…" Damn it! She needed to write to Luke, that he will pay for what he did.

"I won't eat anything. I'm not hungry so... Up to you."

"Put your ass in the shower asap…" She texted. 'Before I will take the damn lift upstairs and take good care of your beautiful neck. For sure you will wear a turtleneck for the next week or so.' She added in her mind.

"I'm going to put yours…"

He was really playing with fire. Probably he wasn't even aware of that. She had an evil plan to treat him according to his own wishes, so she wouldn't do him any harm. It would only be the fulfillment of his voiced wishes.

If it wasn't for this walk and the intervention of her bestie, she would still have some energy to implement it.

'Luke, you'll pay for this!' She decided once again that this time she would not let such a crime by her friend pass. To deprive her of the pleasure of taking care of such a beautiful neck! That was a crime, definitely.

Despite her great fatigue, she tried to watch every gesture, every move of the impudent who dared to mess with her.

She couldn't tell for sure if any of her dear friends had a hand in this. Everything required further investigation.

Whoever had a hand in this had to suffer the consequences. Of that she was sure.

In the meantime she admired his beautiful long neck into which she wanted so much to sink her mouth; his broad shoulders and slender hands with unusually long fingers that created an amazing image as he held his IPad while getting ready to work…

***

She dragged her aching body to the airport terminal. 'Luke, you will pay for that, you will have it like in a swiss bank!' She swore to it.

Her recent injuries were not enough of an excuse to do nothing. She had to go back to training as soon as possible. The truth just dawned on her.

She had to meet her other best buddy there, even for a moment, but she had to. He was one of the guys you didn't mess with or argue with; to summarize, a male copy of her.

She went upstairs to the agreed place, patiently waiting with a coffee and a croissant. She wondered if the coffee was in her circulatory system instead of blood at that point. The caffeine didn't give her any kick anymore. Why was she even drinking it?

The cafe was almost empty, which was a rare sight for this busy airport. She enjoyed the quiet atmosphere without crowds.

She had to come up with some logical explanation for her actions today. Her head was completely empty. Usually, it was full of all kinds of ideas, but right there, in that moment, she was unable to find anything significant and necessary enough to justify her behavior. Nothing was an appropriate excuse, so she was going to be in serious oppression at all times.

"Jo…" She heard a familiar voice behind her back.

Before she managed to catch her balance, she was already in the arms of her friend, who was squeezing her like a madman. He picked her up and began to fuss with her like a child. He finally put her on the ground and started to kiss her face.

"Damn it! Just don't slobber my face. I hate it." She mumbled disgustedly.

"Two years. For two years, I missed your crude jokes, your blunt pranks…" He exclaimed happily.

Finally, he set her down on her feet on the floor and looked into her eyes.

"Oh my God. How do you look? What happened? Why did you come back to that fucking job?" He bombarded her with a series of questions.

"I had to look my tormentor in the eye and show him that I was stronger than him, if I summarize it in very short." She explained briefly.

"Was it worth it?" When asking, he began to stroke her head like a small child who needed relief from her pain.

"Yes, this view was priceless for me." She stated as a matter of fact in a cold, distant tone.

"And how is it ending?"

"Today was the torturer's last day at work."

"Do you feel satisfied with it?" He wondered out loud.

"In fact, I don't feel anything, nothing at all. And it is fucking terrifying that everything happened as if that was just an action next door, without my participation." She tried to explain.

Without saying anything, he hugged her tightly and held her in his arms until she protested.

"I can not breathe! Enough!"

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"There is no such need. I'll take the bus, it's only a few stops, or I'll take a taxi."

"One more question. What was all that about today?"

"Nothing."

"Really?"

She had only one option, but she still wasn't sure if she could use it.

She didn't have even one strong proof that the shenanigans earlier that day was her friends' set up. Until she had evidence, she had to accept the principle of presumption of innocence and protect, perhaps, an innocent man. Innocent until proven guilty!

"Why were you chasing after some man?"

"I have a crush on him." She mumbled. From now on, she was well aware that she'll have to play the idiot for a while, pretending that she is under the influence of an explosive mixture of dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin, which could make the biggest skeptic crazy in love.

From a medical point of view, her behavior must have started to resemble an obsessive-compulsive disorder. It hurt a lot to play the one in love, but she had to protect him until she could prove him wrong.

Patrick burst out laughing. When doing that, he looked at her more closely. He carefully observed her face. Not a single eyelid twitched and not a single muscle moved in her face. When he saw no signs of her lying, he stopped his scrutinising.

"I don't know who to feel sorry for. You or him?" He lamented in a very serious tone.

"Are you that kind of friend?" She asked sadly.

"I am your friend, but he needs a lot of luck to withstand it." He said, stroking her head and continued. "Not luck, but God's providence and infinite resources of strength and courage."

'Yeeesss, he bought it!!!' At least one thing was off her mind at the moment; she was truly happy.

"I'll drive you home." He said, obviously still concerned about her.

"No need, a short walk to the sounds of airplane engines will do me good. I have to survive one more day tomorrow at work."

He didn't ask anything else. She looked pitiful. He didn't want to even think about how she felt. He was full of admiration for her; she was a real hero in his eyes as she was able to face a situation that would have made many tough guys surrender. He kissed her goodbye and silently walked her to the exit of the terminal.

"Give me a call or at least send a message when you get home."

"I will." She said turning around. She took a deep breath. She finally felt relieved.

***

Jo and Luke were sitting on the couch in the living room. They were watching a football match. There was a huge bowl of chips and popcorn on the couch between them and an almost empty cognac bottle on the table in front of the sofa.

"So how's the hunk, who messed up with you, badass?" Luke asked casually.

"Hmm…"

"What does it mean?"

"He has already blocked me." She replied in the same casual tone.

"A very poor endurance for a tease like you."

"Hmm…" She just muttered with a full mouth of popcorn.

"We are bigger."

"Hmm…" She continued to consume her snacks.

"Did you overdo it, badass? Did you give two hundred percent instead of one hundred, as usual?"

"Haha… yes." She admitted honestly. "I wanted to see his reactions and limits in taking shit faster."

"I am not impressed by his performance."

"Not everyone is like you and the rest of the gang."

"Why don't you call him?" He asked curiously.

"You know that I won't use any information obtained illegally."

"It wasn't obtained illegally."

"Anything you don't get from the person concerned is illegal."

"Fuck your rules for once!"

"I am not going to break any of my standards." She stated as a matter of fact with a full mouth.

"Right…" He agreed, but after a moment of hesitation, he continued in a serious tone. "Don't you want to surprise him?"

"Hmm…"

"Badass, be alive again, please. All that crap… it's been dragging on for too long."

"I am trying." She said this time sipping on her drink.

"Try harder." Luke was persistent.

"I am doing my best, I am giving almost one hundred percent."

"You won't bring our dead friends and all those whom you admired back to life. The past is in the past. We live in the present time and that's the only thing that matters. Now and here! You were the one who always used to tell us this."

"I know."

"It's fucking depressing just to see you like this."

"I am not depressed."

"But we are. Don't be the fucking tough guy, completely emotionless, cold anymore. Be yourself again! We all want to see the gleam in your eyes."

"I am trying." She said honestly. She was trying as hard as she could.

"So, let's try again."

"Hmm…"

"Do you want to surprise him?

"Who are you talking about, Luke?"

"I didn't change the 'object' we are talking about."

"How could you treat people as objects, asshole?" She looked at him with some anger in her eyes.

He was happy that at least he saw some emotion in her eyes. He thought that she was already drunk, but it looked like her brain was still working perfectly fine.

"I asked you a question."

"What are you thinking about?"

"The look on his face when you knock on his door."

"Let it go, Luke. I'm not in the mood for any games. The only thing I need right now in my life is peace of mind." She said honestly. "And rest from all the shit I went through recently."

"I didn't finish, badass." He turned his head towards her as he wanted to see her face while he explained his ideas to her. "Only in a trench coat and high heels... and underneath that, only a pair of black stockings and a slightly translucent black lace lingerie."

"Luke! Shut up! I don't feel like talking about crap like that at the moment."

"But that's every guy's fantasy."

"Luke! Stop it, please."

"You wouldn't want to see the expression on his face. I would give anything to see his face at that particular moment." He admitted it fairly. Not only him, but Patrick was concurrent with him in this plan.

"But it's not my fantasy."

"Sure, you don't have fantasies or dreams anymore. You only have plans."

"Exactly. Is there something wrong with that?" She asked, looking into his eyes.

"I didn't say that. I truly admire your perfectly planned actions." He paused for a moment. He had no arguments, anyway it was always so difficult to win over her in arguments. "So is any idea like that in your plans?"

"Was that what the cognac bottle was for?" She asked, pointing to an almost empty bottle on the coffee table.

"I asked a question." Luke tried to put more pressure on her before she would do the same with him.

"Not at all. I have more important stuff on my head than messing up with some damn good looking hunks." She articulated slowly, emphasizing more important matters.

"I see that well-known gleam in your eyes, so I have my doubts." He stated as a matter of fact. He knew for sure that she still had some evil plans up her sleeves.

"Luke, please. Stop it!"

"If you feel like doing it, then I'm with you. Patrick too."

"So far, I don't know if you've had your fingers mixed up in this. I don't believe in coincidences."

"No, we are clean, badass."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"It's up to you what you believe. We are spotless." He admitted. "Did you consider the fact that maybe the heavens have had enough of looking at you, and it's their intervention?"

"Since when do you believe in divine intervention?"

"I always believe in God and his plan. Besides, you ending up in my way of life was divine intervention in itself, so I have no doubts. You saved my life."

"Stop it, Luke! Please!"

"Fine, badass, but if you feel like giving him a surprise, I am in."

"Damn it! It's minus four degrees outside and you want to send me to some hot hunk in only lingerie. What a fucked up fantasy is that?"

"It's a fantasy. Every guy has it. Who cares about the weather, badass? Use your imagination."

"Enough is enough, Luke."

"If you can spend ten hours in a fucked up airfield in the middle of nowhere, in the heat, just to capture an expression on somebody's face, so where is the problem? Do you really not want to see his expression?"

"Don't even try to provoke me!"

"I am not."

"That's exactly what you are doing! I am not drunk. My brain still works despite the alcohol we just had."

"You can do it."

"I could do that, but why should I?" She looked at him. He took a handful of popcorn and began to consume it, but he was not going to give up that easily.

"Do you really not want to fuck him?" He asked when he finished eating.

"Damn it, Luke! We don't fuck! We make love!"

"We make love to the one we love, but we fuck the bodies we are attracted to. I am not sure what your actual state of mind is. Did the bomb explode or not?"

"Could you pour me another glass, please?"

"Fine, you are trying to change the topic again." He poured her a full glass and added just one piece of ice, as there was no space for more. He knew she wouldn't get drunk for sure. In the end, when she reaches her limit, she pukes out everything.

"I am not changing the topic of our discussion. I had a couple of fucked up weeks and I need a drink, that's all. Is that too hard to understand?"

"Of course, you don't get it." He looked at her. "I love the gleam in your eyes when you talk about him, so think about it. Are you sure you don't want to fuck him?"

"Why are you so fucking annoying today? We were supposed to watch the match, not dwell on healing wounds."

"Are they really healing?"

"Yes, eventually. Watch the match, Luke!"

"We are watching, badass. Look, another goal for France."

"Damn, Luke! Stop it!"

"I know you. I am sure you thought about it, or about even something more sophisticated."

"Hmm…" She sipped her drink.

"Did you want to suck on his neck like a leech or drop predatory vampire caresses? Did you think about grasping turns kissing him hard on his neck, digging into his skin, biting him, pinching and sucking until he would melt in your arms? Did you think to do it until you see heaven in his blue eyes?

"Fuck! Luke! Stop it!"

"But those are your own words from a few years ago."

"Years ago. Do you see the difference in time?"

"I know you want to. I see it in your eyes, badass. Why don't you want to admit it out loud?" He sneered.

"You're asking for a real spanking."

"If that will make you feel any better, I don't mind getting a few bruises."

"Luke, one more word and we are done, for good. So before you open your mouth again, think first… And watch that damn match or I'll put you on the mat out of the door."

"I'm not ready to go back to Ann. I won't be able to enjoy the football matches to the most."

"So shut up and watch the match."