CHAPTER 5

When Danny takes a break, I approach him, and even though his eyes look like he wants to talk to me, he is however not happy to see me again, and talk with me.

So this is where you work at night? I ask hesitantly.

He just nods, crosses his arms and stands back. He has this fuck-off body language, but I’m not intimidated by it because I know him too well, and drunk Vivienne is ten times more tenacious than sober me.

Look, I don’t know what I did to piss you off.

He’s trying to cut the conversation short and doesn’t let me finish.

You didn’t do anything, I’m not pissed, I’m just busy, he says and looks away like he has somewhere to go.

I know this isn’t a good time or place for this, but I want answers, I want a final declaration of some sort. My voice sounds whinier than I want it to sound now.

Danny, I just want to know, I mean, you must have figured it out by now.

You need to go home, Vivey, he says, cutting me off and trying to change the topic —you don’t need to be here.

I usually turn to mush when he calls me Vivey, he and my dad are the only two people I ever let call me that. But tonight, it pisses me off because it makes me sound like some child he has to correct and then sends off home to her parents.

What the bloody hell? Why shouldn’t I be here? I’m twenty-five years old, its Halloween night and I can be in a bar if I want to.

He finally looks me in the eyes. —It’s late. People are getting stupid drunk, and I don’t want to have to keep an eye on you. I should call a cab for you now.

His last words get me pissed, and I believe my face is as red as my costume now. —I have a ride, and I’ll stay as long as I want. You don’t need to keep an eye on me—I make the quotation marks with my fingers. —I can take care of myself.

The condescending, patronizing look on his face when he grabs my arm adds fuel to my fire. I twist from his grasp and start to walk away but turn and say, —Screw you, Danny, before I’m too far away for him to hear.

Dom couldn’t hear our conversation, but she can see I’m livid. She pulls me up to the bar with her and uses her body to wedge us between two guys so we can reach the bar.

I’m sorry, V, I really am, but maybe it’s what you needed; It’s finally over. She’s talking into my ear so I can hear. From her voice, I can tell that she seems happy than sorry.

He treats me like I’m fifteen! I shout at her, angry.

She nods her head, acknowledging that she agrees with me, then leans in to talk again. —There’s someone here who definitely doesn’t think you’re fifteen. She turns to look behind the bar and smiles at Sam, my one-night stand.

Hey Sam, Dom hails and waves him over while she is nudging me under the bar.

I’m shocked and dumbfounded to see him. I mean, sure, this is where I met him when he was tending bar six months ago, but I hadn’t seen him back since or heard from him, not that I was exactly waiting by the phone. Hell, I don’t even know his last name. I’ve always referred to him as Sam the-one-night- stand.

It takes him a minute to recognize Dom and me, and I’m a little hurt— yeah, I must have been really memorable. Sam’s cute and young, he is a bartender I hooked up with some time ago after tons of encouragement from Dom and Irish whiskey. He was my find- another-guy-and-forget-Danny plan then and there’s a good chance I’m not the first or last girl to use him for a similar plan.

It’s clear when he does place my face and he smiles. I’m relieved, I smile back. —Hi Sam, how’s it going with you?

Good, replies beaming at me and I think it’s because he’s recalling our fling. What can I get you?

Dom practically pushes me out of the way to set up her plan. —V here just got snubbed by this a-hole. So she needs a shot of Jameson

Black Label and maybe some sympathy would go a long way. She winks at him and makes her order, —And I need a shot of Cuervo.

His eyes ask me if it’s true; I shrug and nod.

He pointedly says, —Be right back, to me then turns to get our drinks.

Dom leans close to me immediately he’s gone to get our drinks. — You have to kiss him.

I have almost forgotten I agreed to let her pick a guy for me to kiss but once again she is right. Round two of the forget-Danny-plans with Sam sounds great right now. Even better, let the asshole see me kiss Sam from his perch at the door—little girl my ass.

When he sets our shots on the bar I let Dom work her magic. She knows that even with a few drinks in me. I’m not forward enough to initiate a lip lock with Sam.

—Too bad there’s no one to kiss her and make her feel better, Dom says leaning her head on my shoulder, casting a sad face to Sam.

He laughs at her blatant ploy but reaches his long arm across the bar to the back of my neck and pulls me in for a very nice kiss. I’m flooded with memories of kissing him before and all the other things we did too. As the memories engulf me and the sweetness and softness of his lips sets up a current in me, kiss him back.

The crowd around us gets restless because they want drinks and their bartender is too busy making out with Little Red Riding Hood to make them. Their jeers cause us to pull apart. I want to look over at Danny, but I force myself not to.. I’m dying to know if he saw it and his reaction. Asking Dom is not an option either.

My answer came some minutes later. Dom and I are still at one end of the bar. Luis is there now, too and making out with his very sozzled fiancée. Sam stops by every few minutes to wink at me and occasionally kiss me. It looks like we are both definitely up for round two.

Luis and Dom pull apart long enough to discuss when they are leaving and if I plan on sticking around to wait for Sam to get off work. I spot Sam at the other end of the bar, he is leaning in and listening to someone. When he leans back I see its Danny. Sam looks puzzled, says something to Danny then they both turn to look at me. Holy fuck! He did not just cock-block me. I see myself off my chair, pushing my way toward them.

On getting there, I push Danny aside, it isn’t just a push, I rub my ass across his crotch and push him back with my hips. I lean across to Sam and ask him, What did he just say to you?

He looks a little embarrassed when he admits, —He told me you’re wasted and I need to leave you alone tonight.

I turn and glare at Danny. He glares back.

What is your problem? I scream in his face. —Who made you my parent?

He’s in my face and he doesn’t miss a beat. —Your dad did.

You and my dad need to just get the hell out of my life. You both act like I’m a helpless child. I’ve been taking care of him since I was a kid. I don’t need you to babysit me, I don’t need your help, and I sure as hell don’t need you screwing up my love life!

People around us have begun staring and trying to move away. Danny puts his hands on my hips and tries to steer me out the back door. I hold my stance and push against him. —Back the hell off, Danny! If I want to go home with Sam and screw his brains out, I will and there is no jack shit you can say about it.

There may be no jack shit he can say about it, but there is evidently something he can do about it. He circles my waist with his arm and lifts my feet off the floor and walks toward the back door. We are halfway there, and I’m flailing like a rag doll. My elbow hits the side of his head as I am swinging my hands in protest. I know I’m not very strong, but I’m sure it will hurt.

Vivey, goddammit, stop it! He yells and sets me down right outside the back door. I step back but only to get some momentum to really slam one into his left cheek. He’s shocked as I am; I’ve completely lost control.

I hate myself when I do stuff like this. It’s like I hold on so tight to everything in my world, then I get some liquor in me and...bam, I do something really stupid without thinking. I try to reach for his cheek but I can’t. I think I’ve broken my hand. I curl up around it, moaning and cursing.

Danny takes a few breaths to calm down and then reaches for my injured hand. I pull it away from him, I don’t want him to touch it.

Let me see your hand, Vivey, he says calmly.

I’m embarrassed and still pissed at him. —No, and stop calling me that, stop calling me Vivey!

Tears have welled up in my eyes and I’m almost crying now, fighting to regain some composure but the Jameson swirling through my head isn’t helping at all.

I’ve always called you that, he says, his voice is calmer and softer, his eyes seem to register hurt and he’s still reaching for my hand. This is nice Danny. This is the guy who’s made me laugh and asked about my life and told me really lame jokes and helped my dad with stuff. This is the guy I put on a pedestal ten years ago; the guy I need to let go of so I can stop hurting myself.

Luis and Dom have come to meet us; they are standing before us now, watching. I look up and see them staring down at me.—Let’s go, I say, turn and walk toward the street albeit not knowing or having a clue of where Luis parked his car.

I hear Danny from behind me, calling me, —Vivey.

I don’t turn around, but I hear the door shut and assume he’s gone back inside. I continue moving.