Chapter 8

TW// Trauma

When Tivon woke up, Elias was already up, preparing breakfast. Because it was still warm at night, they decided to sleep outside by the fire.

Elias was crouching beside the fire and roasting a bird that he probably caught earlier in the morning when Tivon was still asleep.

Tivon examined him. Elias wasn't wearing his coat, revealing all of his scars across his arms. Ever since Tivon first saw them, he took every little chance to see them again, studying each and every one of them. Every time he moved his left arm Tivon could see a bit of a tattoo on his wrist.

The bruise on his cheek had already healed, leaving a smooth surface. The fire was lighting his blue eyes that were focused on the fire. His long black hair was untied, falling freely over his right shoulder.

»Good morning.« He said his eyes still focused on the fire.

Tivon's face got red in a second. »M-morning.« He stuttered.

Elias handed him the roasted bird. »You've woken up at the right time.«

Tivon sat up, taking his breakfast. »You could've woken me earlier to help you.«

»I didn't want to disturb your sleep.« He took his roasted bird and sat down. »You looked too peaceful. And Shui wasn't up yet.«

»Who is Shui?« asked Tivon.

»I knew you weren't smart. Who do you think carries the sun around to make it day?«

Tivon thought that he was joking, but Elias' face was too serious.

After looking at him confused, he said. »Day and night happen because of the rotating of the planet.«

Elias laughed. »Did you drink the water from the pond? You're talking nonsense. Shui carries the sun around and her brother Morni carries the moon at night.«

Tivon couldn't believe what he was hearing, but then he remembered the stories of sailors. Elias has been at sea since he was six, of course, he didn't know anything about planets rotating around the sun.

»No. The planet that we live on is turning around itself and around the sun, because of that day and night happen.«

Elias lay down, crossed his legs crossing his hands behind his head. »Convince me.«

Fine. I'll show you. Tivon stood up and grabbed a frone and an apple that were laying around in the shade. Elias turned on his belly and supported his chin on his hand.

»This is The Sun,« He pointed to a frone and then pointed to an apple. »And this is our planet.« He started turning the apple around. »We are spinning around ourselves, but we're also turning around the sun. If we are here, and if I turn it, we have day and as we are moving and turning around, the night comes.«

Elias smiled. »You need to be more convincing Tiv.«

It was the first time he called him Tiv, but Tivon didn't seem to notice it. He started explaining things all over again. Elias lost his focus. Since he met Tivon, he hasn't spoken much, so it was a surprise to see him talk this much.

Elias stopped listening to him. He was watching him. His funny gestures, hopping around on the sand, his expressions and his lips. His plump lips talking about some things that didn't make sense to Elias. He smiled and continued watching him.

Tivon continued to explain to him about the stars and other planets. Finally, he said. »Do you understand now?«

Elias got up to him and took the apple out of his hand. »I understand that this is an apple. And that it's almost time for lunch.« He bit into the apple.

Tivon looked up and saw that the sun was already in the middle of the sky. »How long have I been talking?«

Elias ruffled Tivon's hair. »Not long enough. Help me prepare the food.«

After they'd eaten some fish that they caught in the river flowing into the sea, they headed to the clearing in the woods to train. Tivon really wanted to learn how to throw knives and daggers as Elias did.

When they came to the clearing, Elias took his three knives that he carefully carried on his belts. »When throwing knives you first bring it in front of your eyes. When you lock the target you throw the knife a little higher than you want it to go.« Elias brought the knife towards his eyes and threw it in the middle of the tree trunk. He looked at Tivon. »Got it?«

Tivon nodded and Elias gave him a knife. Tivon prepared himself and then Elias stepped behind him, gently grabbing his hands. He lowered his head beside Tivon's. Tivon froze when Elias' cheek brushed against his.

»Now remember to aim a little higher.« Said Elias while leading Tivon's hands. »Don't worry if you don't get it the first time.«

Elias stepped away. Tivon closed his eyes and concentrated. He breathed in and out. Then he opened his eyes and threw the knife. He missed the trunk.

»That was good aim a little more to the left.« said Elias.

Tivon tried again, this time throwing the knife too much to the left. Elias sat down and Tivon tried again, missing the tree trunk repeatedly. With every throw, he became more frustrated. Elias saw the irritation in Tivon. »If you need a break-«

»I'm okay.« said Tivon annoyed that he missed again.

Elias stood up and approached him. »If it would help, try to aim more to the left or right.«

Suddenly Tivon threw the knife on the ground and screamed. »I can't aim!«

Before Elias could say anything, Tivon ran into the woods.

»Tivon!« he screamed after him.

Tivon heard Elias scream his name one more time before he got too far away to hear him. He didn't want to stop. He wanted to run away as far as he could.

The words of his father came to his mind. He started to run faster. Disabled! Crippled! Degenerate! Tivon felt his tears coming out. He wanted to swallow them, but he couldn't. He couldn't stop them. He couldn't stop hearing his father's words.

He didn't stop running till the pain in his back got unbearable. Tivon stopped on a hill from where you could see half of the island and an open sea.

He sat down, wiping his tears away. He sat down and hugged his knees close to his chest.

Useless...

Seagulls were flying over the island, disturbing the calm silence. The sun was still up in the sky heating the island, but the cool breeze of the wind made it bearable. Tivon sat there looking at the sea trying to push the tears and the thoughts away.

Elias was running through the woods, trying to find Tivon. I need to find him, before it gets dark... or before somebody else finds him. Oh, please don't let Pit find him.

He started to panic. He'd been looking for Tivon for ten minutes now and there was no sign of him. He didn't want to scream his name, for others might hear him.

Tivon, where the hell are you?

He stepped out of the woods and there he saw him, sitting on the hill. It felt like a rock had fallen off his chest and he quietly approached Tivon and sat beside him.

After some time Elias said, »I'm sorry if I said-«

»It was not your fault, just...« Tivon went quiet. »My l-left eye is damaged, I can't see through it.« He hugged his arms. »It enables my depth perception, sometimes it is hard to coordinate things. I've gotten used to it with time, but it's still hard."

Tivon knew this was unnecessary information for Elias, but he still said it. "Ever since my eye got damaged, my father started to care less and less about me.«

When Elias said nothing Tivon added, »I'm just useless and he always reminded me of that.«

Even if Elias wasn't looking at him, Tivon moved his face further away from him.

»You're not useless.« said Elias.

»How can you say that?«

»You don't need your eye.« Said Elias looking at the horizon. He looked at Tivon. »Tell me. Did you need your eye when you helped us escape the merchant ship?«

After some time Tivon said. »No?«

»And did you need your eye to survive three weeks with The Rose Sparrow?«

Tivon moved his head. »No...«

»And did you need your eye to humiliate and scare the shit out of Pit?«

Tivon managed a laugh. »No.«

Tivon looked at him and Elias said. »Don't let your problems affect you. You are more than your flaws.« Elias winked at him. »You are smart. Don't forget that.«

»Thanks.« smiled Tivon.

Elias got on his feet and offered his hand. Tivon took it and Elias pulled him up. He wanted to turn, but Tivon gripped his hand. »Elias.« He turned around. »I'm sorry I yelled at you.«

Elias smiled. »Don't worry about it.«

Tivon wanted to take a step, but the ground underneath him gave loose.

Before he knew it, he pulled Elias with him and they started falling and rolling down the hill. The hill wasn't steep, but it was just steep enough that they couldn't stop lurching downwards. Eventually, the level of the ground evened stopping the rolling bodies.

When they finally stopped, Elias was lying beneath Tivon, Tivon's hands locked on Elias' wrists. They were face to face, their noses almost touching. They were both breathing heavily, still processing what had happened.

Tivon blushed and wanted to pull away, but Elias grabbed his hands, not knowing why. He didn't want Tivon to get away. He wanted him to stay. He wanted him to stay close to him. But why? What would I even do if he did stay? What would happen if I released Tivon? He didn't want to know what would have happened. But he didn't need to do anything, because Tivon suddenly pressed his lips to his.

Elias loosened his grip and before he could realize what was happening, Tivon pulled away. He stood up and started walking towards the lagoon, stumbling on his step.

»W-we should make dinner. B-before it gets late.« stuttered Tivon.

Elias was still lying on the floor, his face turning red, processing what had just happened, too stunned to get up. He lay there for a minute before managing to get on his feet. »Y-yes.«

As they walked towards the lagoon, Elias tried to calm his heartbeat and his rushing mind thinking about Tivon's warm lips.