opening up

"who?" Noah said suddenly beside him before seating next to him; their shoulders touching

"you" Zamir chuckled and shook his head..

"whatever" Noah said pulling him closer and kissed him on the cheek. He his face then turned serious and he asked "are you going to tell me what happened yesterday?"

He pretended not to notice how Zamir suddenly tensed up in his arms "I want to know everything there is to know about you Zamir, if you willing to tell me ofcourse"

Zamir closed his eyes and sighed, he didn't know how to even start, he didn't want Noah thinking of him as spineless or weak , he also didn't want to lie and he was dead sure Noah wouldn't take no for an answer either but he still tested the waters "can we not talk about it now" he asked, his voice turning small

"out with it Zamir" Noah grumbled and began playing with Zamir's hair

Zamir took a deep breath "it's PTSD..." he said and paused "when I was around twelve, my parents had a big fight, they argued so much that night and even got physical"

"what were they fighting about" Noah asked

Zamir hesitated a bit before he spoke "she cheated... you know she was caught in the act. my dad usually take me to the park on weekends and do come back late in the evenings, she probably thought it would be the same that day before inviting her well... fling into her matrimonial bed but I had complained of a headache and my father said it's best we go home earlier so I could rest, by the time we got home, he caught them in the act so you know..."

"apparently she was the one with the money, so my dad was the one got thrown out of the house just with whatever he had managed to grabbed while he was being pushed out which by the way was just his phone and luckily his wallet before the door was slammed on his face but my dad being a sucker refused to leave without his son..."

Zamir scoffed "I remember him kicking up so much ruckus till my heartless mother finally grew tired and packed up a few clothes in my backpack before pushing me out to him"

"we lived in a cheap apartment afterwards and we had it rough... my mom constantly sends ruffians to our house to beat up my dad, one time... one of the thugs that came tried to.... let's just skip that part"

"no, tell me everything Zamir... it changes nothing, I promise" Noah cooed into Zamir's ear

"he tried to put his dick in my ass" he said and waited for any kind of reaction from Noah, when he didn't get any he continued "but of course he wasn't able to because my father who had lying down and letting them beat up suddenly jumped on him and well... he didn't mean to but... the guy ended up__stopped living"

"i'm listening" Noah urged

"I don't know... my father managed to grab me and run and somehow we escaped that night but that was the beginning, we had to keep moving from one place to another, my father had to struggle in the streets so he could least put food on the table and that got him into trouble which in turn led us being attacked many times but each time before they could enter, my father would hide me somewhere where they couldn't see me"

"my father had gotten into trouble one night and he ran to our shitty apartment to get me, this time, we didn't pick anything. all we had was the clothes we had on and some cash he'd... I dunno whatever he done to get it"

"we were in a cab, running away when a truck suddenly hit our car" Zamir closed his eyes as he remembered the memory "the next thing I saw was my father on top of me... then voices like maniacs laughing and saying they got him and cheering and shooting their guns in the air I think. I was so scared that I couldn't move or make a sound, I just lay there, I suddenly began to lose control of my body, It was shaking so much that not until I heard my father groan in pain was I able to function again"

"the thugs were obviously stupid ones who chose to jubilate at their crime scene, it didn't take long for the police to sneak on them and round them up... I don't remember anything after that, I lost consciousness but ever since, I get panic attacks whenever I hear a loud screeching of tyres... I just lay there and... like that day?" he said raising his head to look at Noah

Noah hummed and placed a short kiss on his lips "what about yesterday?"

Zamir turned his face away again and bit his lower lip "yesterday... I hadn't gotten into the elevator and was on my way down before I realized I wasn't with my phone... I thought it was a bother and I didn't want to see your face so I just thought I'd take a walk and come back but..."

"but?" Noah pressed

"i was lost in thought and I didn't realize I had walked into the road... and a car... well you know, the screeching, I lost control of my body again and I couldn't breathe properly. i think the guys in the car came down and when they touched me... I... they sounded like those thugs and they reeked of cigarettes and my instincts just kicked in and I ran... till I got to where you found me"

"I couldn't come out even as I heard your voice, I was scared... I didn't want to leave that place because I feel safe there or so I believed"

Noah opened his mouth to speak but Zamir was quick to cut him off "I know, I know okay... I didn't want to be weak either..."

"I wasn't going to call you weak Zamir just chill... I wanted to say i'm sorry that I pushed into such situation"

"I was angry at you covering up like I didn't appreciate you and I was horny as hell and I want to have my pride, that's why I left you in the room.

"i'm sorry that I made you cry so much"

"it's okay" Zamir answered his voice tiny

"I mean I'd love to see your eyes swollen more often but only when i'm hammering at you and wearing your body out the bed while you tearfully beg me to have mercy " Noah bragged and grinned when the head that rested on his chest turned beet red

"I see someone wants to be taken in hand" he chuckled

"enough already, you sadistic pervert" Zamir groaned into Noah's sturdy chest.

He wasn't however given enough time to recover from his embarrassment as he was suddenly pushed backwards on the couch

"hey... don't, NO!... hmmn" his lips was captured in a flaming kiss to keep from talking.