Trap or new life. Part one.

Walking on the wet ground and not seeing anything around him, Arlo was sure that he could leave this place. Hating himself for chickening out and giving up so quickly, afraid of Bannard and more, he slapped himself in the face again.

The self-loathing was so strong that he didn't think about where he was going. He didn't care if Bannard's words turned out to be true. He wasn't afraid of the soldiers who might have already seen him, but were just waiting for the right moment.

Looking at the town and how native it looked in this darkness, Arlo cried again. Only this time he cried quietly, clenching his teeth and covering his face with tears.

The feeling of loss and hopelessness had never made him hate absolutely everything so much.

For the first time feeling so lost and unwanted, he also felt loneliness for the first time.

This unpleasant feeling turned out to be painful and no different from the tip of a dagger.

Not even knowing what to think about, how to perceive his life and his future now, Arlo realized that he had forever become an empty man, worthless of anything.

Feeling intense pains in his heart and a lump in his throat, as if someone was squeezing him from the inside, he even hoped for everything to end. He was ready to surrender completely. He even began to ask his heart to just stop pumping blood.

Stopping in the middle of the darkness, he bent down to see what was under his feet. For he sensed something that made him stop.

When he saw the man lying among the withered grass, or rather not the man at all, but what was left of him, Arlo shuddered with all his body. Fear made it feel as if it was a snake that was now crawling up Arlo's back. Unable to take a step, to move away from that stench and the horror, he felt the most intense vertigo.

Suddenly, hearing a rustle and someone's heavy breathing, he looked around nervously. His survival instinct kicked in, and he realized that he did not want to become like this man, who had already lost all his humanity.

But not knowing where to run or where to hide, Arlo began to panic.

Panic, man's worst enemy when it comes to survival. His heart began to beat even faster. He thought it was about to stop.

Breathing quickly and trying to see something in the darkness, he reached forward. The icy wind had already reached every cell of his body. He could feel himself freezing and soon he would simply not be able to move. Still, he was able to take a few steps forward and locate the bush.

The sharp branches of the bush immediately scratched his face and dug through his shirt, tearing his cloak first. Experiencing pain all over his body, he fell and at that very moment he could see three people walking past him.

"Where could he have gone?" one of them asked, turning on a flashlight, which was a rarity in this world. A thin beam of light fell on a bloody, muddy semblance of grass and Arlo could see the face of one of the soldiers, dressed in heavy leather coats. That face expressed nothing but hatred for all living things.

"He couldn't have gone far. It's so dark in here you can't see anything."

"He's around here somewhere. I can feel him."

"You'd better look for him."

"Why do they come here if they run away afterwards? I don't understand."

"They think it's going to be beautiful here. That's why they run away."

"I wish this place was beautiful. I'm so tired of going out every night looking for runaways."

"Hush. I can hear him breathing."

Holding his breath at this point, Arlo closed his eyes. Without moving, he slowly ducked and when he opened his eyes, he saw another man among the bush who had long since lost his life. His blank gaze stared directly at him and his pale face seemed to be just a mask.

It was a young man who was clearly regretting much before he died. One could see nothing but regret in his eyes. Arlo could see him because of the light that illuminated everything around him for a moment and then quickly disappeared.

Fear and hopelessness were once again stronger than the thirst to live, and when he noticed the three soldiers had stopped, he gathered his strength and prepared to surrender to them. Determined to show himself, he even opened his mouth, but at that very moment he heard a noise somewhere far away and then he felt someone behind him.

"Sit still."

The voice sounded so quiet that he didn't recognize who the voice belonged to. Feeling the force with which this man pressed against him with his whole body, Arlo also felt warmth and he began to breathe more easily. There was such warmth emanating from this man, as if he were not a man at all, but a bonfire.

"Sit still."

As he felt the hot breath on his ear, Arlo also felt goosebumps on his back. The goosebumps ran all over his body, and when they reached his feet, he stopped feeling the pull of gravity altogether.

"I know you're here and I'll find you," one of the soldiers said, once again being close to him.

Without moving, Arlo thought more about the hands that suddenly embraced him and pressed against him with all their strength. The hands were so strong that it seemed to him that this man just wanted to crush him, to break him.

Suddenly, at this very moment, as the three soldiers continued to explore every inch of the place, Arlo felt a warm tongue inside his ear, which slid inside like a snake.

He trembled, but the man hugged him tighter and covered his mouth with one hand. Arlo could not panic, for all around him were looking for him.

Still feeling the warm tongue in his ear as it slowly made its way toward his neck, Arlo wanted to free himself, but he couldn't. His hands were too strong. Trying to turn his head to see the man in some way, he stopped when he heard someone yell.

"I got him!" followed a soldier's voice and then a shot. "He's here! I found him!"

When the gunshot sounded and the laughter of the three soldiers could be heard, Arlo was suddenly alone. The man who had just held him close to him suddenly disappeared as if he were not here. Glancing back quickly, he saw nothing but darkness.

"Where do we put him? There's going to be a lot of them here soon."

"Shall we throw him down?"

Seeing the three soldiers dragging the man, Arlo waited a while and when they were out of sight, he ducked down and quickly ran toward the building.

Never before having felt so alive, Arlo went back again, even rejoicing that he was alive. That joy grew even stronger when he saw his friend.

"You're crazy," Zale muttered, grabbing him by the collar. "Do you have any idea what you're doing? Do you understand?"

"Get inside. They're still here."

"What, you don't want to run anymore? You could have told me. Arlo."

"Let's talk inside."

Finally reaching the building, they quickly closed the door.

There was no one in the hall except a table with plates. Sitting down on one of the chairs, Arlo reached for a cup to sip the rest of the ice water. Unable to catch his breath to begin speaking, he looked at his friend.

"I'm sorry," he managed to say, wrapping his arms around his neck to at least somehow remove that awful squeezing feeling inside. "I could have died. You have no idea how dangerous that was."

"Are you laughing? Can you laugh now? Do you even know that I was looking for you? Do you have any idea how much I was afraid for you? Do you have any idea? Or are you so sick you can't even think!"

"What?"

"What? What? Don't look at me with your pathetic eyes. I hate you. Arlo, I just hate you," Zale said, pounding the table with his fist.

Knowing that he was guilty in front of his best friend, Arlo remained silent. He thought more about the man whose tongue he could still feel inside his ear and on his neck. Thinking about it, he felt the heat rise to his face and he blushed. Curiosity took away any anger. And he had never felt so alive that what he had experienced a few minutes ago seemed like a real adventure.

"I'm sorry."

"And where were you before? Why didn't you come to dinner? Where did Bannard take you? What's going on anyway?"

"Bannard, no way," Arlo muttered, thinking that he was the man.

"What's going on? Arlo, we haven't even gotten here yet, and already you're hiding something from me."

"I'm not hiding anything. I was surprised myself that Bannard took me into his room. He said there had to be five people in each room. Do you think I want to be in the same room with him? He scares me and I hate him. He's a horrible man whose heart turned to stone a long time ago. Do you think I'm happy about that?"

"Has he done something to you?"

"What? No."

"I can see that he has. Listen to me, I've heard that if Bannard brings someone into his room, it means only one thing. He will use you every night to satisfy his desires. He's been in this place a long time. And I've heard more than once that he's had so many boyfriends, we'll never know how many there were. Arlo, can you hear me? He likes boys. Do you hear me?"

"What am I supposed to do now? Run away? I wanted to run away. But I couldn't. Do you think I want to be his plaything? He scares me, Zale. But what am I supposed to do?!"

"I shouldn't have brought you here. It's my fault."

"Then think of something."

"Breaking the rules in this place equals death. Bannard's words are the law here."

"Then what do we do?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything."

Falling back in his chair, Zale covered his face with his hands. It was obvious he could barely contain himself from crying.

"Honestly, I don't want to die. I want to live. I want a good life. I don't know, Arlo, I don't know anything. I shouldn't have brought you with me. What was I thinking? About what?"

"It's not your fault. If it happened, it had to be."

"I don't believe in fate, Arlo."

Zale stood up from his chair and looked at his friend, and he was silent for a while. He was clearly thinking about something. His face tensed and those big eyes placed so many thoughts in them that Arlo could read them.

"Let's do this, I'll go to Bannard's room and you go to my room. He chose you. He's not likely to want me."

"All right."

"Come on. Hurry up."

When it was time to part ways for one night, Arlo stopped Zale before he went up to the third floor.

"Bannard is a very dangerous man. You mustn't risk it for me. Go to your room. I'm tired of being the weakest. Ever since I was born, I've been protected as best I could. Even you. As a child, remember? I always felt so weak that it hurt me sometimes. I want to learn to be a normal person who is able to be responsible for his life and stand up for himself. Now go to your room. I'll see you tomorrow."

Having said that, Arlo quickly ran to the third floor.

Curiosity, a desire to live like never before, a feeling of strength he never had before, all this drowned out all the fear in his heart.

Seeing death itself that night, Arlo went to the door and opened it. Confident that it was Bannard, who had almost saved him, who had allowed himself to lick his neck, Arlo stepped sharply into the room.

Seeing Bannard lying on the bed, he stepped closer.

Bannard was sound asleep, breathing heavily. He was lying on the bed as if he had just fallen on it and immediately fell asleep.

As he approached him to see traces of dirt on his shoes, Arlo noticed nothing. The fit of his boot was clean. Approaching his hands, which were so large that no doubt it was him, Arlo headed toward his face.

Without noticing how close he was to him, Arlo stopped his gaze on his lips. Having never before kissed anyone or felt another man's embrace, Arlo studied Bannard as if he were some new thing.

Just looking wasn't enough to know it was him. Then, Arlo touched his hand to see if that hand was covering his mouth.

"I didn't think you'd want me yourself," Bannard said suddenly, opening his eyes and wrapping his arm tightly around Arlo.