Chapter 46

Joshua could not sleep.

He was not sure if it was due to all the thoughts running through his head now that he was capable of sane thinking or if it was just because he had slept through most of the day on his office couch. One thing he knew for sure was that his aching body was 100% down to the latter. But the reason did not matter, because it did not change the fact that he was laying in the darkness, wide awake. The only thing he could think about was what had happened throughout the day.

He was woken up in his office past 9pm by his parents, who still seemed to be in the office, and a slightly inebriated Archer, who had returned after a post work drink with Samuel Reyes. Everyone seemed too tired to even explain why they had just left him there for almost ten hours, but enough was mentioned on their way home to leave Joshua lamenting his own actions.

His father, first of all, explained how they had digitalised all the documents from the wedding plan and were going to start finalising the merger-engagement party. Then his mother commended him on his decision to fire the three men who had attacked Henry. His brother, finally, started ranting about how much of a headache he and Henry had been. He was very insistent that Joshua should have no more all-nighters.

When they had finally arrived home, it was only Joshua who was left to eat, the rest of his family turning immediately on arrival. Penelope was already asleep by the time they got home.

That had all happened almost four hours ago, three of which Joshua had spent in bed trying to sleep. He honestly could not remember the last time he had ever had this much trouble sleeping. But, at the same time, he also did not know the last time he had questioned so many of his actions in one go. The man's mind was going at a lightning speed, only making him cringe with embarrassment, wondering if he had been sane.

To start with, there was the matter of the wedding plan.

Now that he was thinking with a clear head, he could not believe he had spent almost a whole night up with Henry writing it up. Even when he managed to dismiss the fact that they were joyously planning an unwanted wedding, putting it down to making the best of a bad situation, there was no reason for them to do that much so quickly.

Obviously, they hadn't been working from scratch – Joshua was still secretly denying the fact he had shown Henry all his wedding plans – and when they discussed details, they found quite a few of their preferences aligned perfectly. All they had originally planned to do that night was to make a start on it and jot down idea, picking and choosing from what there was already. That was all there was to it. At least, it was meant to be all of it. How it had gotten them handing a complete plan to their parents earlier was a mystery to the man.

And they had been so nervous about it. All he could think about when presenting it to their parents was whether they would be shot down or not. Whether the plan was good enough of not. Whether the wedding they wanted would be allowed. The odd reaction had only made him more nervous.

Then, of all things, as the nerves started getting a bit much, he turned to Henry for support. He still did not understand why the blond man would normally calm his nerves, perhaps because Henry was so much more capable than he was at almost everything. But in the end, he still did. Except this time, where he looked to find Henry just as nervous as he was.

Of course, that only made Joshua more nervous, overwhelmingly so in fact.

And then they were laughed at.

It was obvious there was no malice or mocking tone in the laughter now that Joshua thought back, but at the time his heart had been slamming so hard he felt he might have passed out. After spending all night working on the wedding plan, they were met with laughter; it was a little traumatising for his sleep deprived mind.

However, when they started pointing out things that only showed excitement behind the plan, like the sheer length or how quickly they completed such a final plan, he was instantly embarrassed. Within a second, he no longer wanted to hear their opinion or wait to see if it was approved.

All he wanted was to run away and hide his face in shame, his actions really were too embarrassing when having to face them.

That entire sequence was already too much for Joshua to accept, yet somehow that was only the beginning. His behaviour later was erratic to the point it made him cringe his neck just thinking back on it.

It was no surprise that he and Henry would be tired, they had been up almost all night, painfully putting their all into the wedding plan. The lethargic, half-present behaviour once they had arrived into the office was relatively warranted.

Embarrassing? Absolutely! But Joshua could accept his childish reaction as Henry laughed at him… to an extent.

What the man could not accept, however, was what happened following their brothers' arrival. More notably, how he reacted to Henry's angry vent.

A lot of horrible things were said to the younger man, both behind his back as well as to his face. Henry did not hold back on the insults thrown at him nor how angered he was to be put down in such a way. All of which were clearly baseless attacks out of bitterness or jealousy. Henry Reyes was many things, but he was not useless. He may be spoiled but he was not by any means spoilt. He was not delusional, and he most definitely was not a 'desperate hussy'.

For Joshua, it was nearly impossible for anyone to even measure against how magnificent a human the blond man was. And eventually, he did manage to express his thoughts, if a little crudely.

However, that was not the problem. What made the perfect man want to tear his hair out in shame was his initial response.

Of all the words in the world he could have answered Henry's rant with, he decided to point out that the other man was not ugly.

Just thinking about it made Joshua cover his face with his hands and let out an embarrassed groan.

Even now he did not know what he was thinking when he said that, or if he had been thinking at all. What could have possessed him to come out and say that, he really had no clue.

Of course, his words were sincere and even now the man would not deny it because it was true. The whole thing that had gotten them into this mess was the photo of a 'woman' who could rival his own looks, someone who did not make his beauty complex flare up. And that was still the case, when with Henry, Joshua was never worried or self-conscious of his looks. Joshua had no issue with admitting the younger man's looks, but the way he said it was really too weird.

So weird that Archer and Samuel had been laughing at them now that he thought back to the event.

The only action that Joshua did not regret of his that morning was his split-second decision to fire the three men who had spewed baseless abuse at Henry. He felt that his cold behaviour, while unintended at first, was 100% warranted. Perhaps he could have been a little politer to his older brother at the time, but his priority was to make sure those three were kicked out as soon as possible. Nothing else mattered as long as the trash was thrown out since such trash is incapable of causing detrimental harm to the company. Even Henry's proposal to throw all blame to Joshua if things really do go sideways was worth it, the company really did not need such people.

His level of anger was perhaps the only suspect part of it all.

The three men were instantly intolerable and had to go, that Joshua could understand. He also understood that it was because of how angry he got, as well as the fact that he had gotten angry due to their behaviour and low opinions on Henry. The man could easily understand all of that, but what he could not was why he had gotten so angry to begin with.

Was something wrong with his head?

It would not have made a difference to the outcome, but he would have followed protocol a little better if he had been calmer about the situation. Nonetheless, why he had gotten that angry seemed a mystery to him, especially since it had never happened before.

But all that, Joshua had no hard feelings or regret over. Despite not understanding why he was so angered he felt like it was perhaps the most normal he had acted all morning. The man was blissfully unaware that the onlookers had likened him and Henry to psychopaths, not seeing any normalcy at all.

That is also where the last of his acceptable behaviour stopped.

What followed could only be described as a train wreck, one fraught with insanity.

The remainder of the morning was quite the haze in Joshua's mind, while he could recall all his actions, he could not do the same for his thoughts. Not fully at least, only being able to remember simple, childish thoughts.

He did not realise that those flat thoughts were really all that was going through his tired head at the time. He was so exhausted that complex emotions had no place to show.

However, he remembered being entirely focussed on eating, as if it needed all of his cognitive ability just to eat. He remembered his eye getting itchy and rubbing it. He remembered his blunder while eating and feeling hopeless about it. He remembered letting out a soft whine in dismay. He remembered eating the tomato slice but not being able to wipe the residue from his chin and mouth. He remembered that he just kept rubbing his eye and acted as if there was nothing he could do.

What the man vividly remembered the most was that he needed the equally tired Henry to wipe his face for him.

Laying in the dark, Joshua could feel his face heat up hotter than it had ever gotten before, even his insides felt a little warm.

After deliberating through all his embarrassing actions, the last one was by far, without a single doubt, the worst of them all.

And the cherry on top: the scene was no stuck on an incessant repeat in his mind.

In the end, the man ended up spending a second night awake and stressed himself silly to the point of a light fever. The next day he took sick leave.