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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime et bandes dessinées
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100 Chs

Start of Wave

Resting against the East Gate Naruko would have her eyes closed, already henged into her Yamanaka disguise. There was a small smile on her lips as she remembered her conversation with Sakura yesterday.

-Flashback no Jutsu-

Crouched down on the grass with Sakura's scrolls Naruko had a kind smile on her face, "Now which one of these contains what Sakura?"

Reaching out Sakura would point at each one as she listed them off, "Weapons, Medicine, Clothes, Food, and rest of living supplies." 

Naruko nodded unrolling the weapons scroll first. Her eyes traced the changed seals on it and she nodded her head slightly before slamming her hand into the center of the seal, with a burst of chakra dozens of kunai & shuriken appeared. Looking them over Naruko would hum slightly. "You could do with a blunt force weapon of some kind until your physical strength increases more. Outside of that, it's fine. I would go heavier on the Shuriken, and lighter on the Kunai ratio-wise, however."

"Yes, Naruko-sensei!" Sealing everything back up she'd go onto the medicine scroll, and to no surprise, everything there was perfect.

"Alright, good job." Unrolling the food scroll she'd twitch slightly. "Not enough protein, not enough carbs Sakura, we talked about this already."

There was a faint blush on Sakura's cheeks as she hurriedly nodded, and Naruko simply sighed. Sealing it back up again she'd move onto the clothes. With a hum, she'd go over them before nodding. With a twitch to her lips, Naruko would begin, "It might be a heavy financial burden, but you should invest in chakra-chain mesh. It'll help you from primarily slashing, but also piercing weapons. Besides that, when you infuse chakra into it - or have seals on it that stores chakra, it'll drastically enhance the effects of that. Also, you won't be running around naked after a tough battle."

There was a hurried nodding and hit of panic at the last part. "I'll get right on it sensei!" 

Naruko would stare for a moment before nodding. "If you need help tell me. Besides that, I hope you aren't planning on going the entire mission without any kind of underwear or bra?"

The blush came back but a thousandfold, "Sensei!" Naruko chuckled slightly, sealing back up the clothes.

"Just kidding Sakura, I know you aren't. Now let's see what you have in this scroll..." Looking over the adjusted Fuinjutsu for a moment, Naruko unsealed the entirety of the scroll again, her face going blank.

"Alright, we have some major problems here Sakura. First off - these brands of soap, cleansers, and the like are a no-go for the field. I'll get you the address for a few shinobi-run stores. Any Shinobi with enhanced senses will be able to smell or taste the chemicals from these, and honestly most Shinobi just to be understanding constantly wear the shinobi brand. The 'normal' stuff is only used on certain infiltration missions - which you SHOULD know, but probably forgot because it's taught too early on in Kunoichi classes...."

Humming slightly Naruko's eyes would go vacant for a second before shaking away her thoughts. "Any questions about that?"

"I didn't know that it bothered them... I'll get right on it Sensei!" There was a mix of panic, worry, and a tinge of regret on Sakura's face.

Smiling at Sakura's kindness Naruko grinned at her before continuing, "Now. We're missing something here. When in the field, particularly when you have the lowest chakra reserves on a team like you do, there's something you'll likely find yourself missing out on - Chakra. Now, this isn't a problem, most Shinobi have to deal with Chakra Exhaustion occasionally. But, when you're out in the field - especially for such a long-term mission, you might find yourself unable to use Jutsu, and as such you'll need this if you get my drift."

Sakura had a confused look on your face, "I don't know what you mean Sensei?"

Naruko sighed before she said, "What I'm saying is, you need some period supplies in here Sakura."

"Meep." 'I don't think she's supposed to be that shade of red, yet strangely white. How strange, has no one ever talked to her about this? Man Konoha's culture is weird. Especially when I definitely sense most of the Shinobi in my building constantly fu-' "SENSEI!!!!" 

-Current Time- 

Chuckling slightly to herself at the memory Naruko pushed herself off the wall as Sai slowly came into view. A few minutes later Sakura and Sasuke arrived as well. "Alright team, now we wait for him to arrive. Don't expect him to be the nicest of clients, considering he's supposedly a drunkard." 

With that said the team waited around, with Sakura talking and Sai or even occasionally Sasuke responding. 'Team 7 is so awkward, Sakura having to replace Naruto as the talker, heh! I love it. I COULD talk a lot, but this is so much more amusing!' 

A dozen minutes passed, and by now her team was beginning to get impatient and Naruko groaned. "If this much can make you impatient, how will you ever stake something out for hours, days, or even weeks y'know? How can you plan an attack on something a month in advance? Figure out the routes of people. Before implementing yourself into that route, for a mission?"

Shaking her head Naruko would put up a disappointed look, which quickly changed to a neutral smile as a man came stumbling down the street. As he got closer the smell of an obscene amount of sake wafted off of him. He was clearly middle-aged, with some wrinkles, graying hair, and a small beard. 'That's not Tazuna. Tazuna was fully grey - he had a mustache, and I think even glasses. So then I was right, this is a setup. Trying to thin out a Jonin? Or maybe get a free interrogation out of one.' 

Keeping a neutral smile on her face Naruko would nod welcomingly towards him. "Bridge builder-san? We're your team of Shinobi." 

Stopping his stumbling he'd blink a little for nodding. "Right! Figured I'd get a team more grown up than three runts, and you, baah whatever! What do I know about Shinobi business? I'm Tazuna the Great Bridge Builder! I'm paying you too protect me, and my bridge. Now c'mon, we don't have all day." With that said the man stumbled past them and out of the gate. Behind her, Naruko could hear Sakura whispering and Sasuke slightly grumbling. 'I wish I could say Sai noticed something wrong, but there really isn't. Only out-of-universe knowledge is what exposed him...' 

Keeping the same neutral smile on her face Naruko would wave behind her, "Come on team. You're not gonna let the bridge builder we're meant to guard get away from you, are you?" With that said she'd take a step out of Konoha and began to catch up with the 'bridge builder'.

Short chapter because I have a headache, and have had one all day.

Disco: gvu53aPBuX

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