A Crusader and her Festival

Yes. A beauty.

In fact, there were two beauties. One on the left. One on the right. They sat on the chest on the person who had tried to talk to Tanya.

Over the course of her life as a girl, Tanya had tried to suppress her hormones as much as she could by thinking about anything but sex and her situation.

It was actually pretty easy, back then. There were very few women in the Empire's army, and the only ones she interacted with on a regular, friendly basis with were a few members of the 203rd.

Her puberty was also not doing too much for her. That was helpful in a few ways – less distraction, she didn't have boobs – but also annoying in others – she looked like a twelve-year-old and had the height to match.

She still stole glances at other women occasionally – again, mostly with the 203rd – and if she ever got caught, she'd just glance down unhappily at her own body in an attempt to use its lackluster appearance as an excuse.

They'd given her all sorts of tips, and, along with the time she had spent in the hot springs of Bidin-Budin with Viktoriya, they created wonderful fantasies that Tanya wished she could properly 'take care' of.

These days, it was getting a bit worse. She now had a healthy diet that didn't contain leather or sawdust or tree bark, and the town of Axel was full of women who didn't mind showing off an inch – or twenty – of skin.

In this case, however, the mounds of plentiful flesh were just too much to ignore. They were huge. And not just 'I-have-chronic-back-pain' huge. This pair of breasts needed to have the armor that contained them shaped to fit them.

Armor wasn't supposed to work like that. That sort of thing was stupid, expensive, and doing so probably decreased the armor's overall defense. They were ridiculous, and underneath all that armor…

…They probably did the name 'breastplate' proud.

Of course, the person they were attached to wasn't bad. Beautiful, long golden hair that Tanya imagined her own hair could resemble if she ever let it grow out was pulled back into a ponytail, for the most part, and sharp, aristocratic features were the norm on her face.

Tanya shook her head, wiping the corner of her mouth with a nearby napkin. She set it down and cleared her throat. "Could you repeat that?" she asked, hoping her voice wouldn't waver or crack.

"Are you still searching for party members?"

Tanya nodded, and the woman closed her eyes and clasped her hands. "Thank goodness. I have been awaiting the arrival of someone such as yourself," the woman said, exhaling heavily at the end.

Tanya's eyebrows furrowed. Was she nervous or something?

The woman stood up straight, and made to introduce herself in halting sentences. "My name is Darkness. My calling is that of a Crusader. May I p-p-please join your party?"

Tanya surveyed the rest of her appearance. Heavy armor adorned her body, with most of it being centered on her chest and hips. The rest of her body was clothed in some sort of yellow cloth, and, if Tanya had to guess, she probably had chain mail underneath it all.

She was truly what came to mind when she thought of the word 'Crusader'.

Yes, she must have been nervous to be stuttering that much. Tanya also stood up. "My name is Tanya von Degurechaff. I am an Adventurer, and I am looking for a party to lead."

"Is it true that you take on quests several times over your level?" she blurted out, leaning against the table Tanya had been using.

Tanya shook her head in amusement. It was always fun to see newbies. She'd seen her fair share of new recruits whenever the General Staff had decided to move some of her group to other units, leaving gaps to be filled.

Tanya nodded in response to her question. "Yes. I've been trying to level up, but Luna wouldn't let me take on anything stronger than Squirrels."

The woman began to pant, and gripped Tanya's arm. She tried to pull away, but the woman's strength matched her beauty. "It's worse than I thought! For someone with such a low class to take on such monsters…"

She grinned. "As a knight, I cannot overlook such difficulty befalling someone of such a tender age!"

Twitch.

Tanya glared at her. "I am sixteen."

Her mouth was wide open, and the only sound that escaped it, instead of her continued ranting, was a strangled exhale of confusion.

For a moment, she just stared at Tanya, her face frozen in the decidedly odd expression the woman had worn while she was practically assaulting Tanya. Then, mutely, the woman slowly loosened her grip, stepping back and shuffling her feet.

"…I apologize."

They stood there, being glanced at occasionally by the patrons that surrounded them. Tanya smirked. Well, the woman would definitely would feel at least obliged to go with her on one quest, at least.

"Well, I am recruiting, so tell me a bit about your strengths."

The woman flicked the bow that sat at the base of her neck nervously. "Well, the truth is… while I am confident in my Strength and stamina, I am clumsy…"

"Which means?"

"None of my attacks ever hit their mark."

Tanya blinked slowly. She looked at the woman for a moment, before pinching the bridge of her nose, before shaking her head, trying to disperse any bad feelings she was getting. "That's fine. You're just starting out, right? You can learn eventua-"

"Oh no. I wouldn't ever want to kill something when I could just be acting as a shield."

Tanya blinked again, her forehead creased. Did she hear that right? She didn't want to kill?

"…Let me get this straight. You want to be attacked?" Tanya questioned, dread rising in her gut.

It wasn't possible. This place was still in Medieval times. The Eris Cult had to frown on such things. It didn't make sense, and Tanya hadn't even contemplated the possibility of such a thing occurring, but…

The woman made a lurid moan that convinced Tanya that yes, the woman very much would love to be attacked. She pinched the bridge of her nose again, leaving the woman to her fantasies.

Yes, the woman was a masochist.

And?

Tanya didn't have options. She wasn't willing to compromise on the leadership aspect anymore, which meant that no one would want to party up with her. But…

Tanya cast another look at the Crusader. She noticed, and proceeded to violate Tanya's personal space. "Please, do whatever you must with me! As a Crusader, my job demands that I work to lessen the suffering of the weak!"

Tanya pushed to woman away from herself steadily, straightened herself, and took a deep breath. She had no choice.

Sighing, Tanya said, "Alright. Since there are a ton of quests due to the Eris Thanksgiving Festival, we'll join one of those." She stood up to go to the counter.

The woman perked up. "As a Crusader who is a part of the Eris Cult, I would be happy to!"

Tanya paused mid-step. Right. Crusaders had something to do with religious wars.

Walking dejectedly to the counter, Tanya was already regretting her decision.

-OxOxO-

They'd decided to help protect the farmlands. Now, more than ever, they needed to ensure that the farmers were protected while they harvested all of the food that would be eaten during the festival.

Darkness had wanted to go to the forest, but Tanya had convinced her that they'd get in everyone's way, since she was only level three and Tanya was level eight.

They might be able to fight any insect monsters one-on-one, but neither of them could withstand a swarm. Darkness didn't seem to care about the danger, as she only grew more excited, and Tanya had needed to backtrack and claim the monsters on the farms would be better.

Tanya didn't know that, of course, but she didn't want to fight a swarm of insects. Her offensive magic couldn't really deal with targets surrounding her.

Her gun could, of course, but not her magic alone. Not without giving them more than enough time to kill her.

After deciding on when to depart, they'd parted ways. Tanya had gone to the blacksmith's and fitted her staff with her Seitengewehr. She could use it more effectively now.

She glared at the other adventurers that were eyeing the two of them warily. It seemed that both of them had a reputation. Tanya knew where her own came from – she'd taken on quest after quest, when most adventurers often didn't take more than three per week, and she'd taken on all of them alone.

Tanya could guess where Darkness had gotten her reputation.

Soon enough, they arrived at the farms they'd been assigned to protect. "Darkness. Be sure to show what you have. I'll need to know for whenever we're coming up with strategies."

The woman, suddenly serious, nodded. They'd passed a group of adventurers on their way back from defending, and it didn't seem like they'd have it any easier.

Snails as tall as Tanya were already beginning to encroach on the farm, and the rustling in the tree line told Tanya that more monsters were likely to begin to attack. The food was also beginning to emerge from the ground, ready to defend itself.

Shooting a glance at the others in their group, Tanya realized she was the only one who could use magic, if the armor and weapons of all the others were anything to go by.

"Alright. You all defend me while I defeat the Adaman Snails," she ordered. The others who had signed up for this quest looked at Tanya, mirth and ridicule shining in their eyes. Darkness just nodded her head, and began to charge at them.

Tanya watched her run and shook her head. If she was supposed to protect her, how would Darkness do that if she wasn't even near her?

Tanya gestured with her staff. "Explosive Vaporization!"

A ball of light sped off, nailing one of the snails on the shell. Those around her gasped in shock. "How'd you cast it so fast?"

Tanya just shrugged. Intermediate magic and Advanced magic was supposed to have some sort of chanting that preceded it. It seemed her magic hadn't gained that requirement upon coming here.

The others began to spread out, challenging the snails. Tanya nodded. It seemed they had thought twice about her order.

The one she'd fired at had a hole blown in its shell, but it seemed to still be moving. It, along with most of the other snails, seemed to be heading for Darkness.

For her part, she seemed to be trying to attack one of the snails. It was going… poorly.

Every time she swung her sword, she managed to miss. It hit the ground, or it swiped through the air, or the snail moved an extra inch to the left. No matter what she did, she couldn't hit a Snail. They might have been big, but they were slow, and not in any way threatening.

If she had had a phone, Tanya would have been tempted to play that Benny Hill song.

"Go! While they're focused on me, destroy them!" the woman cried out as she tried, again and again, to hit the slow, sedate snail.

Tanya sighed. She was distracting the snails, at least. One by one, Tanya sent an Explosive Vaporization towards each snail. They all hit, damaging their shells.

The other adventurers would swarm whichever ones she hit, stabbing through the cracks in their shells while avoiding their front.

Darkness, meanwhile, was now surrounded by snails, and she was still missing them.

"Unhand me, filthy Snails!" Darkness cried out as the snail behind her bumped into her knees. The woman collapsed to the ground, and the snails began to smother her.

Scared for her teammate, Tanya activated a small Reinforcement spell and hurried over to Darkness. The others seemed to be distracted with harvesting the snails to notice her sudden increase in speed.

When she got there, Tanya blanched. Darkness, pressed into the ground by the weight of a snail, was panting. Heavily.

Tanya lost the willpower to help her out, and began to take care of the ones surrounding Darkness, one by one. It seemed she was doing something to keep them focused on her, since they didn't react to her.

Her blade soaked in snail guts, Tanya finished soon enough. Darkness laid on the ground, blushing and panting.

"They're dead, you know."

Darkness turned her head to Tanya, and then looked at the snail lying on top of her in confusion. Indeed, Tanya had already gutted it.

Darkness pushed the body off of her easily, retrieved her sword from where it had fallen, and thanked Tanya, still blushing. Tanya nodded, much too occupied by the fact that it looked like Darkness could have pushed the snail off of her at any second.

Most of the snails seemed to be dead now, and the other adventurers met with them at the cart they'd brought, which was full of provisions to last them the next few hours.

"I can't believe someone with the Adventurer job can use such destructive magic," commented one. The others made various sounds of agreement, and Tanya accepted their thanks graciously.

"And you! You charged in and attracted so many of them with your Decoy skill. You're truly a model knight!"

Darkness blushed, and Tanya stared at the ground listlessly, her earlier praise forgotten. Model knight?

What kind of shield runs off and gets smothered in a Snail's slime willingly?

A moment's reprieve was all they got, however. The vegetables were growing bolder, which meant they needed to be harvested.

The farmers they had protected fought with them, and a few adventurers ran over to help them. In the meantime, large animals were beginning to charge out of the forest.

"Wild Boars!" exclaimed Darkness. Without hesitation, she ran to meet them head on. Tanya watched, fascinated. How did she think running directly at something with sharp, pointed tusks and moving faster than a regular human could run would go?

Arms wide, Darkness met the full force of the boar head on, grasping it by its tusks.

"You filthy pig! Are you going to subdue me and use your weight to hold me down while your friend violates me?"

Mouth agape, Tanya watched as Darkness threw it to the side. Another was charging at her, and both they and Darkness seemed to be anticipating the fight, if for different reasons.

Tanya just sighed. Even if Darkness could withstand their attacks, the Crusader couldn't deal damage with her sword.

She ran over, scepter in hand. Both boars, circling Darkness, didn't notice her.

She struck fast, ducking to the side of the one with its back turned to her and slipping the blade of her scepter between its ribs.

It squealed, turning around. Tanya plunged her blade into its side furiously. The other one charged Darkness, who cried out in glee.

Tanya backed up, eyeing the boar. It eyed her too, and began to run at her. Tanya ducked to its side, avoiding its charge easily and scoring a hit on its back leg.

It squealed again, and Tanya grinned, watching happily as its back leg trembled. It seemed she'd hit something important, and it was trying to stumble away.

She cast a quick look over her shoulder at Darkness. Darkness seemed to be relishing in the furious blows the boar was raining down on her. It seemed to have stopped trying to charge Darkness, and was now slashing at her with its tusks. Tanya shook her head and took off after the other Wild Boar.

Tanya caught up to her stumbling prey, and quickly sliced its back leg. It well to the ground, and Tanya finished its life quickly. Looking around the wet, battle-ridden field, it seemed most of the other adventurers had been able to fight off the rest of them. That just left the food and Darkness.

Tanya marched over, stabbed the thing in the throat, and glared at Darkness. "You… you can't hit anything! I thought, when you said you were clumsy, that meant you just hadn't taken a few skills, or that you just weren't steady on your feet," Tanya began, gesturing to the woman's feet with her scepter.

"Instead, it turns out you're just pathetic! I…should…" Tanya trailed off. Darkness's face had that same beet-red look it had had when she'd been 'trapped' under the snail.

"So brutal…" she muttered. Tanya spun around, resting her scepter on her shoulder.

Not worth it. How was she supposed to discipline her troops when they wanted to be punished?

She sighed. Well, she'd trained the 203rd. She could find some way to properly motivate Darkness, even if she didn't have artillery or pain or the backing of an entire nation to do so.

Looking at the other groups of adventurers conversing and congratulating each other, Tanya almost wished she'd chosen an actual job.

Tanya tossed one last glance over her shoulder. Darkness seemed to be enjoying herself, at least.

With a huff, Tanya began to trek over to the other group of adventurers. The crops needed to be finished, and as long as she wasn't covering for Darkness, she might as well help.

-OxOxO-

They crowded around the desk, making a racket, waiting for Luna to emerge from the counter.

She, along with everyone else there, were waiting for their reward. They'd done some hard work, and they wanted their hard-earned cash.

With how much the scepter had cost, she needed the money. She'd finally figured out how to best make most of the gears, which meant she could rest easy knowing she wouldn't have to spend any more money buying materials from the blacksmith.

She would also be able to finish off her loan.

The door to the guild burst open, and Tanya, like the rest of the crowd, turned. More adventurers streamed in. Some went to the eatery, but most of them joined Tanya in line, waiting for their payment. Tanya looked around for her teammate.

Tanya couldn't see her and frowned. Where was she?

Just then, a voice pierced the din of grumbling adventurers. "Everyone, payment is now available! Please form an orderly line, and-"

Before she could finish, people began to swarm the counter, ignoring the second part of her announcement and trying to vie for their money. Tanya was no better.

Utilizing her smaller size, Tanya slipped through the crowd, delivering a sharp kick to the shins of those who wouldn't move.

Being small had its perks, occasionally.

She arrived at the front. "Luna, the reward for me and another blonde-haired, blue-eyed adventurer named Darkness, please!" she hollered over the noise. The other receptionists seemed to be overwhelmed by the roiling crowds, but Luna was above it all.

Tanya passed the woman her Registration Card, and she quickly confirmed her kills. The system of confirming what adventurers had done with the farmers who hired them seemed to break down around this time.

Luna passed her two bags, and Tanya thrust one back. "Pay off my debts, please!"

Luna nodded, and Tanya fought her way back through the crowd, ignoring the grumbling, moody adventurers by her sides.

Soon enough, she found herself in the eatery. She scanned it, and found Darkness.

She practically threw herself and the bag down, startling Darkness. "Your money," she panted.

Darkness tilted her head. "What about yours?"

Tanya took a sip of the liquid Darkness had ordered and sighed happily. A bit of alcohol wouldn't hurt, right?

"I finished off a loan I took in my first week," she replied. This seemed to confuse the woman more.

"But I thought you were…" she said, the rest of her statement dying on her lips. Tanya glared at her for a moment, before sipping on Darkness's beer. The skeptical expression told Tanya she needed to get her own.

Soon enough, a waitress graced their table and Tanya ordered a meal and a drink. Darkness seemed to be thinking, and Tanya let her. She needed to do a bit of that as well.

The Crusader was… interesting. She – maybe literally – couldn't hit the walls of any room she stood with her sword. While a detriment, that wasn't even her biggest problem.

The woman across from her grunted in pleasure, and Tanya went back over her words. Had she said that aloud?

Taking more care to keep her thoughts private, Tanya went over that problem.

She was a complete and total masochist. The definition of the latter half of S&M. That was quite uncomfortable to be around, and it could be dangerous if Tanya ever got in trouble.

The last problem was, of course, religion. As a Crusader, she no doubt had very biased thoughts about her god, as well as non-believers like Tanya.

She would probably oppose Tanya if she ever found out about what she wanted to do with that wish.

However, she did have a disgusting amount of Strength and stamina. She could probably have beaten Tanya at arm-wrestling that first day she was there, and that she could easily move around Wild Boars and Adaman Slimes as if they were pillows was impressive.

Tanya gazed at said impressive woman again. Her armor had been slightly damaged by both the slime of the Adaman Snails and the blows of the Wild Boars she'd fought. The rest of her body, however – the portions where black cloth had been – were much more exposed, hinting at the muscle and flesh that lay beneath the armor.

Yes. She was very… attractive in a number of ways.

Tanya scoffed at her own thought as her food arrived. Attractive didn't cover it. Hot, gorgeous, voluptuous, and bouncy sure did, though.

She was also a local. Tanya didn't really have much knowledge of the world. Consulting with the Blacksmith and Luna could help, but Tanya didn't even know what questions to ask. Sticking with someone who did know had its benefits.

A question floated passed Tanya's lips. "Why didn't you get your money yourself?"

Darkness shook her own head. "Well, I had to go take a quick bath."

Tanya made sure to keep her face as blank as she could, even utilizing a few tricks that Viktoriya had taught her.

Well. That settled it.

Tanya didn't have to guess at what was beneath the armor; she would see it. A grin – carefully curated so that it wasn't lecherous – split Tanya's face, and Darkness shuffled.

"Well Darkness, I hope we can continue to do good work together, at least until the festival is done," she said. Darkness looked up from her food, her blushing face becoming serious. "You mean…"

Tanya nodded, rubbing the back of her head. "I don't exactly have many options, so how about we stick together?"

With that, the woman leapt up. "You won't regret it!"

Tanya nodded, and rose. She needed to get back to stable and crash for a while. The mana drain of using so many Explosive Vaporization spells was beginning to make itself known.

Tanya heard the muttered, "I know I won't," that came from Darkness's direction and sighed dejectedly. Any help would be good help, of course, but…

Why was she saddled with such depravity?

-OxOxO-

Tanya scowled at the board. Nothing good.

She'd been adventuring with Darkness for a week. She'd leveled a bit, and poured a few points into the Smith skill. She was confident that she could at least begin to experiment and figure out how to make a gun.

That, however, was the easy part. Yes, upgrading Smith took time, but she knew she could do it eventually. Her main problem was what went in the guns.

Cartridges – a bullet, some propellant, a cap, and casing – were needed. The bullet and casing were, like the gun itself, difficult to accomplish with the technology she had, but entirely possible.

However, she had never taken the time to learn exactly what went into the propellant. She knew that it wasn't black powder – the replacement of actual black powder didn't create smoke and allowed for more visibility on the battlefield, a fact which had come up during her time at the Military College – but she would have liked to have that much.

If she didn't get something explosive, her gun would become a fancy-looking stick, just like the scepter she was using.

She hadn't yet found anything, and she was beginning to think she'd need to invent chemistry itself in order to get something that worked. Gunpowder had sulfur in it, right?

Tanya shook her head, turning her thoughts back to the board. The festival was a week away, and no new quests had come up.

Darkness wanted to take on some of the harder ones. Tanya had promptly shot her down.

She might have been confident in her abilities, but even she didn't think that taking on hordes of Insect monsters alone was a good idea. She could only destroy so many at once, after all, and Darkness could not distract all of them, even if she did have that oil on her.

She'd made herself content with taking on small fry in the morning and working at the Blacksmith's in the afternoon. It didn't seem like there was much to do.

She walked over to Luna. "Hey Luna," she greeted. The woman smiled.

"What do you want Tanya?" she asked, and Tanya uneasily smiled. Luna knew her well.

"Have any Hero Candidates come in?" she asked. She didn't know when Being X would send in another person, but she had no doubt that he would after a week. He didn't give up easily.

She shook her head. "No, not yet. We can't even really tell, to be honest, unless they show the traits of one."

Tanya nodded, thankful that she had that going for her. She looked like anything but a Japanese person, and she had been saved from scrutiny due to that fact and that she hadn't exactly shown off her 'Divine' relics.

Tanya sighed. "Hey, can I- "

"No."

Tanya scowled. "I got a teammate, right? Why won't you let us take on stronger stuff? Or at least check my card?"

The whole reason she wanted a teammate was to move on to stronger enemies, and Luna still wouldn't let her. She told her as much every time she came to ask.

"If you need to ask, then you definitely shouldn't be taking it on," Luna said. Tanya pouted, but made her way back to the board. She'd level up soon enough.

Pulling a quest down, Tanya held it out to Luna. "Fine then. We'll take this, then."

Luna looked at it. "Just Giant Toads?" she asked, a genuine smile playing across her lips.

"Ha ha," Tanya replied sarcastically. "In all actuality, I want to try and get Darkness to learn to hit something."

Luna handed the quest back to her. "Good luck with that. I told her that for the first few times she came here over the past few months, when parties kept politely dumping her. I gave it up as a lost cause after that."

Tanya nodded absentmindedly, before whirling around, glaring at Luna. "You haven't told me to change out of the Adventurer Job in a while," she noted.

Luna just smiled.

A scowl now firmly in place, Tanya readjusted her hat as she sat down to eat. As soon as Darkness got there, they'd be gone.

-OxOxO-