Chapter 106

It was odd. The feeling of knowing yourself, the things you would do and wouldn't, all those small details like your preferences. You know yourself, just like the back of your palm but somehow you end up being surprised by your own actions. If what I am looking at in the mirror is the person I know best, hundreds of years of knowledge gathered up, why do I find myself doing the most surprising things? You should be one with your body, be a part of your soul and heart but why is your mind detached? Why can't you simply coexist? 

Xan was disciplined, he was strong and level headed. He was smart and handsome, came from a good and powerful family, followed the rules exactly how they were written and didn't ask questions. Many described him as perfect, the one and only who could be so fitting to become a king. He would smile, take their compliments like love letters but when he was alone he would crumble the nice words. He didn't believe them.