Chapter-3

"It goes without saying, a mother-in-law can never become a mother-and a daughter-in-law can never become a daughter no matter what. And that is not in our country, but it is told and believed in all across the world. ‘’

But I did not believe and acknowledge that saying. I have always believed exceptions occur, and my case was an exceptional one among them. Maybe it sounded bizarre to others that my mother could not accept me even after keeping me in her womb for nine months. And I kept waiting for her embrace and acknowledgement of acceptance desperately throughout the entire time. But I could not say and share the same thing about my mother-in-law.

What if I had entered my in-laws' place with a sceptical, prejudiced opinion that she would be my biggest enemy without meeting and having a word with her? I always used to think that she would play all the nasty tricks to separate me from my husband forever. On the contrary, she not only accepted me sincerely but also stood by me against her only son and proved my assumption totally wrong. To be honest, I was glad to be proved wrong this time.

She was no doubt a damn good persona. And she had the immense ability to forgive the mistakes of others as well. She was well familiar with all of my absurdities from the very beginning. Even then, she did not embarrass me before anyone, and according to me, it was just her kindness and nothing else. Though she used to detect all my tricks and misadventures, she still, did not bring them to light before anyone and tagged me as wrong or tricked. I was always like a daughter to her, but it took a lot of time to understand.

She forgave me for all of my mistakes and accepted me as I was. She did not have the habit of boasting about her virtues, and she had the guts to admit her flaws at the same time. And no doubt, all those beautiful qualities parted her from the crowd.

I did not remember; I would never have ever noticed her lying on the bed during the daytime. Even if she was running with a high fever or a tummy ache. She carried herself as busy as a butterfly all day long. But she retired to bed at last, but got up at first, and that was also long before the day broke. I did not ever find her wasting her precious time speaking ill or terrible about someone or gossiping like other people.

On top of that, down the line, I came to know about her one more quality—she was an excellent observer and a mentalist too.

"Do not judge the book by its cover"

The very maxim would be suitable to tell you about her. She was undoubted, seemed to be a simple lady with a little qualification or no qualification, but had an exquisite sense of judgment. And the most important thing, she had the guts to accept the truth and contradict it. No matter how bitter it was and how badly it affected her. Those qualities were terrific, and those qualities separated her from the crowd as well.

At the outset, I had committed a blunder by mistaking her. I considered her like any other insecure mother-in-law who found it difficult to accept the second woman in her son's life. What to talk about with others? I had witnessed my own grandmother who caused my mother's life to be filled with a good deal of grief, and later in life, she had created trouble in my new mother's life.

So I was having a problem accepting her wholeheartedly. Therefore, I spent all the time sketching out my strategy. To deal with her tricks rather than accepting her at heart and boosting our relationship.

My mother-in-law had welcomed me at the gate with a severe look on her face. She seemed to be intense and occupied all the time. I did not witness even a single speck of a smile on her face during the rituals and all. And the whole thing was terrifying me more and more from the inside and caused me to aggravate my tension many folds. It seemed to me as if she was taking part in all the rituals in a nonchalant manner.

When all the events wrapped up, she asked one of my sisters-in-law to take me to the room to rest for some time and get fresh for the evening reception. But she had not exchanged a single word with me so far. Her nonchalant attitude toward me just increased my uneasiness and caused me to have my blood pressure shoot up. At the outset, I had committed a blunder by mistaking her. I considered her like any other insecure mother-in-law who found it difficult to accept the second woman in her son's life.

My room was located in the house's end corner, which isolated me from the entire home. It was a compact room. It had a window that opened onto the roadside; therefore, they kept it closed all the time. The room was packed, gloomy, and stuffy with unnecessary things, which did not give me the feeling that the space belonged to my husband and me. I did not feel they had furnished it from any angle to welcome the house's new daughters-in-law to see the room and the other stuff.

And that thing did the job of growing my tension deeper and deeper. I did not understand how I came to know something more about her nature. But I was not getting any information at all with which I could collect some information about her.

I did not want to make any mistakes to show my hurry to collect information about her. I did not wish it to become known that I was spying on her. And at the exact same time, I was a little curious to know more about Ravi too. I could not garner much information about Ravi at my parents' place. I also felt his relatives did not know much about him.

Later on, I came to realize he hardly came over and stayed here. That piece of news gave me great peace of mind. Even I was reluctant to go over there for longer and stay with them.

Despite being all alone in the room, I could hear all the commotion outside vividly. Yes, they were all talking about me only. They had the same opinion about me. I was a beautiful lady and had brought a lot of expensive gifts with me. And I spoke very little; perhaps I was a reserved sort of person. I would not say I liked their remarks on me. But I had the curiosity to discover what my mother-in-law thought about me. Until, to my disappointment, she did not utter a single word in connection with me.

Honestly, she seemed to be a freaky lady at first. Suddenly, an idiotic thought occurred to my mind that my fair complexion was caused by her baseless fear. I was trying to convince myself that her insecurity was so deep that she forgot that I was her choice. And her son was getting ready to get married to me just because of her at that time. Even then, he did not talk to me before marriage. Until recently, she was finding it difficult to accept me wholeheartedly. What sort of insecurity was this?

I found myself in a dilemma. One time, I was restless to talk to her, and the other time I was hesitant to establish a relationship with her. Something was restraining me from doing anything. I spoke to her as much as it required me to do. And the same thing was happening on her side. And I always used to be very ceremonial with her, so she was.

Perhaps it was hard for me to take away all the memories of my grandmother's brutal act, which she inflicted on my mother. I could never forget that she had played a pivotal role in separating my parents forever. Perhaps I was thinking the same thing about her. We both had our share of prejudice. Because of that, we could not get close to each other.

Other than that, I had to deal with many other things. I did not particularly appreciate how the other relatives were imposing their wishes on me and making me do something against my wishes. And at the same time, I was finding it difficult to go against them. But the entire thing was suffocating and disquieting me from the inside, and I was trying my best to remain quiet. I was also worried around the same time that they did not take me for granted and imposed their wishes on me, and I spent my entire life pleasing each of them.

I did not intend to lose my space permanently. Eventually, I made a decision that I would keep a very formal relationship with each of them. I had got it well in no time that it was not such an easy job to keep each one of them happy. At the same hour, I had no purpose of winning each one's heart and getting the "Best Daughter-in-Law" tag. I found each of the family members used to scrutinize me in their particular manner.

I totally agree with the fact of my emotional detachment from the family members of my mother's place. Despite that, in fact, I would confess that my position and situation were better there to a significant extent. I had a lot of freedom there to do the things of my choice, and there was no one to scrutinize or judge me at the same time there. And the most important thing was that I was not answerable to anyone. That day, I came to know why it is called "Mother's house is mother's house and the in-laws' house is in-law's house."

In the beginning, I felt like I could never adapt to that unfamiliar environment. These people had a lot of time to do a good deal of dirty politics. Many times, I felt that they should be a spy or detective. They were wasting their talent on stupid things inside the house, which was their entire world. In the name of custom, they did not hesitate to exploit one another.

Many times, I felt sorry for seeing all those things. But those moments used to be fleeting. Perhaps the nasty experiences from my childhood have made me an emotionless person.

And I did not intend to mingle or stay with them. I was not interested in being a social worker or a reformer there. There was no point in spending my life playing the role of correcting them and bringing reformation into their lives. Although I knew I could no longer go back to my mother's house, I still felt sad. They had shut those doors for me permanently the day I departed, until I missed the house, and I was struggling harder to erase the memories of that house.

I was tiny when I was taught one valuable thing by my new mother. One valuable thing

"We trap a fish when it opens its mouth."

Since then, I have locked it into my mind forever and always follow it in my daily life. I matured at a very early stage of my life. And, my habit of staying quiet helped me to become a great observer and mentalist as well.

Even if I despised something sincerely, I did not let fear appear on my face, not even a little. In fact, I have always preferred not to avert commenting on something positive or negative so quickly. I feared that people could take advantage of me and hurt me if they came to know about me too much.

Even if I was well known for my strength, I was equally acquainted with all of my weaknesses. And I have always remained careful while dealing with people. I did not do the exhibition of my strength before others; likewise, I did not let my flaws pop out before anyone else. It could be said about me that I am an unpredictable or mysterious sort of person. I was having a problem getting along with those people.

I would not be wrong if I said I totally despised the way my mother-in-law instructed me to do this or that, all the time, especially before my husband. It might be that I was overreacting, and her intention was chaste, but yes, I felt awful. And I was entirely fed up with my in-law mother's horrible habit of teaching others unnecessarily, especially me. I often used to think about her that she wanted to turn me into a maid in the name of giving me training as she had made herself.

Although what I perceived about her was that she was worthless. She did not provide space for me and always used to treat me like her pet. And my husband was a mummy's son, like every Indian boy. I felt she did not like it if I gave a pleasant look or had tea with my husband.

I always used to think she had a tight hold on her son; who could go to any extension to please his unsecured mother? But I learned I was absolutely wrong down the line. In reality, he was not loyal to anyone. Anyway, she did not let me do things my way. That thing always cheeses me off. She was bossy over me and kept teaching me bullshit all the time.

She had no dressing sense. Her sari used to be crumbled and her hair unkempt, but she ceased to tell me every time to wear the clothes in my way. And to discourage me from doing the thing of my choice, she did not forget to mention his name that Ravi did not like. Her habit just irritated me more and more and did the job of adding fuel to the fire.

Every day she used to make me observe a fast with some excuses and others, and explained that prayer and fasting would help elongate my husband's age. It would grow intimacy between you and him. I felt several times like asking her. "Why does she herself not do some prayer and all and grow some intimacy in her husband's heart for herself, which she keeps guiding others to do?"

But I bit my lips to do so. She always looked for a way to criticize me, especially before my husband. I knew from the beginning she would give me a tough time if I did not stop her before long. I did not want her at all. She mounted me, and at the same time, I tried to get rid of her. First, I stopped arguing with her. I got that the argument would serve my business rather than do more damage to me. I began to give her a false impression that I had given in before her.

My father-in-law was a man of strict nature and used to lose his temper over every little thing. He was the house guardian just for the namesake; otherwise, the proper guardian was Ravi. And there was no conversation between the father and son. He spent all day long in the field. He usually left for the field by nine o'clock in the morning and took his breakfast there only. However, he did nothing productive there.

And usually, he came back home drunk at night. Most people used to sleep until then. My mother-in-law opened the door for him and served the food. And at the same time, hardly any conversation occurred between them. But she used to take good care of his needs.

My mother-in-law was a village woman with little or no education in her hand, with an unrefined look and sense but a pure gold heart. My father-in-law could not accept her as his wife just because of her dark complexion, and he was not bothered by exploring her heart. He played a cunning game, left her there in the village to take care of his aged parents, and came to the city. Thereupon, he fell in love with a city woman who worked in the same office as her. She was, of course, beautiful and intelligent.

She did not belong to his caste. Even after that, he got married to her. He did not mention anything about her first marriage to her. And so he was deceiving two ladies at the same time. Once or twice a year, he came to the village for a couple of days. After that, he went back to the city. He had thought his secret would never come to light. But one day, all his secrets leaked.

A great commotion was created at home when his parents came into the loop about their son's hush-hush second marriage in the city. The very news made them utterly furious. His parents did not give their acceptance to his second marriage. They threatened him in return if he did not come back to the village in one month permanently. They would renounce him of the property rights and kill both of them.

My father-in-law understood it well that his father and other family members were capable and could go to any length. So, he could not muster the courage to go against their decision further to ponder over the repercussions. His love for his second wife was feeble. And the mere thought of the repercussions made him so afraid that he preferred to give in to their demand and go back to them, leaving his second wife and an unborn baby to their fate.

He did not get his due respect in the village either. Matured men and women of the village looked at him with aspersion eyes. Her aged parents had utterly ceased to talk to them. They were just people and had the same quality I found in my mother-in-law. They had a feeling that their son had disgraced them before their daughter-in-law, and that feeling was always used to bite them.

Again, his siblings did not pay any respect to him and remained behind to taunt him. My mother-in-law took care of him only. But she could not forgive him for his cheating. Therefore, they remained husband and wife for name's sake.

I remembered the way she spoke to me with pride and arrogance that she had become a mother within one year of marriage. As if she had done something extraordinary to deliver the baby. Then she started boasting about it before everyone about her achievement. Then she was expecting the same from me as I showed her the face of a grandchild within one year.

I could not forget the things she had spoken about when I came to the city with Ravi. Yes, she had caught me red-handed many times, but she did not expose me to anyone, and she did not let me know ever during my stay there.

"Do not act smart. It is a good thing that you consider yourself smart, but you are at fault, if you think others are utterly dumb, and do not get your bloody game. Everyone has little sense over here. You do not realize it, but you are caught long back in your trick of throwing dust into my eyes and the eyes of many other people. One's lips chap when one does not drink water, and one does not visit the bathroom frequently. For this reason, this will be my earnest suggestion to you to make a strategy to cement your bond with another, not to deal with others. "

After that, my mouth was sealed before her, and I was ashamed of my conduct. So, there was one thing I could not approach her and discuss my problem with her. Other family members were more or less of the same mentality. I had understood it long back; there was no point in being friends with them. They were of no use to me.