Window Frame

When Lucus awoke that morning, he was in a daze. It was definitely a hospital bed he was in. The crinkles of thin sheets and the clean, sanitary smell of doctors and all of their equipment was giving that away. Nate snored loudly nearby. He seemed relatively at peace, each breath perfectly in beat with the rest. Lucus got up and placed his feet on the cold tile floors. He flinched when his bare feet met the ground. His shoes seemed to be elsewhere. He had fought someone, a big group too. That much he knew. It was all to help Nate. While the memory was still foggy, Lucus was still able to make out the major details. He felt weak and in pain.

He had gone out to look for Nate. He had taken a long time, much longer than required to go buy a bag of chips. It all gave Lucus a bad feeling, so he had left the hospital room in search of Nate. It was much colder than he had expected, but also eerily empty and quiet. Quiet enough without the tarnishing of other people's noise pollution that Lucus's walking stick echoed with each tap. It might have been nice and relaxing, not having to block out every conversation, yet it only made Lucus more fearful. Even with the nice breeze that blew his bangs out from over his eyes, the cold felt suffocating. Lucus quickened his pace. He followed the only voices he heard, but they talked too low for him to make out. The wind seemed to push him forward. Soon the whispering became grunting and yelling. A lot of cheering, none of them Nate. He almost turned back around, when he suddenly heard his voice speak up, cutting through the brutality. Yet, Lucus had almost kept on his way without sparing thought for him.

"Of course," he had muttered under his breath, "I guess a gang member stays a gang member. I was stupid to believe otherwise." However, one thing stopped him. Lucus recalled the pain in Nate's voice. While the words were unclear, one thing was certain, he was in pain but trying to hide it. So Lucus lurked closer until he was sure it was a fight. He didn't know why, and he didn't know how, but he couldn't stop himself. Without a second thought, he jumped into the fight, swinging his walking stick wildly. He tracked Nate's position and stayed away, knocking as many brutes on the head as possible. Nate took out a lot too. He could tell with every fainting grunt followed by a hollow thump of an unconscious body. Lucus had only managed to knock out two, before one bag of muscle grabbed the stick with one hand and simultaneously socked him in the stomach. He stumbled back, clutching his side. Perhaps a broken rib or two or three.

Lucus spat what might have been blood and wondered how he could be this stupid. With no real fight training or experience, how could he ever hope to go against some obviously well trained machines of pure muscle? The day dream was over. At least Nate had managed to pick off a good portion by himself. Maybe he stood a chance. Those were the last thoughts Lucus had before he passed out.

They had probably won in the end, seeing as they were both safe in the hospital rather than sprawled out on the floor outside in a pool of blood. Lucus got up and attempted to shuffle towards the window, before wincing and falling back to the crinkly hospital bed clutching his side. How, Lucus thought, could a small kid like Nate take out so many people on his own? How brave he must have been, to stand up to such a large group without backing down. That was such raw strength. The kind Lucus thought best to ignore because it only made him ache for what he could not have. Not only did he do this, but Nate managed to use the last of his power to drag not only himself, but Lucus's own burdenful body back. It made him feel so stupid to believe he could have ever helped instead of weighing down upon others.

He sighed quietly and tiptoed over to the window, careful not to wake up the hero. It creaked open, making Lucus flinch at his failed attempts at quiet. He paused, hands on the cold, well cleaned metal, checking if Nate had woken up. When he was sure he didn't, he opened it fully. The sun was clear and felt like a perfect ray had fallen down upon him. It only made his heart ache. Lucus felt undeserving of its presence, and was grateful when a cold breeze made him shiver. He concentrated on his own discomfort. Lucus tilted his head upwards and laced his fingers together, closing his eyes.

"Hey, god. It's Lucus. Sorry it's been so long. I have no excuse, really, but," He took a deep breath, "I feel so weak right now. Like I'm depressed all over again. Every good thing pains me and I find comfort in punishing myself." He sobbed a little, voice crackling. He kept an ear out for Nate, making sure he didn't wake up. "Why give me happiness then take it away. I'm so useless, I can't even do anything about it. I'm so, so angry, and so, so sad. At myself and at the world. Please, can you save me?" Lucus bowed his head. "Amen"

A nurse entered the room, just a few seconds after Lucus had finished. She didn't seem to realize Lucus was awake at first, so when she noticed Lucus standing at the window, she smiled, happy to see him better. One could tell from her smile that she truly enjoyed her job in helping other people.

"Glad to see at least one of you up. You were in pretty bad shape last night." She grinned happily. "Oh," She said, noticing the open window behind Lucus. "Isn't it a nice day this morning? The sky is so pretty and blue!" She grinned, before realizing her mistake and backtracked, fumbling her words. "Oh, shoot. I'm so sorry. I forgot, well, I, I" Her posture relaxed when Lucus began to laugh. A genuine, warm laugh. Maybe this was a sign from god that he was listening.

"The birds seem especially happy this morning. Their songs are even brighter than usual." He smiled back, making small talk. The nurse looked confused, wrinkles forming between her eyebrows, contrasting her young face.

"I can't hear any songs. What do they sound like?"

"Oh well I guess the birds are farther than I thought." Lucus's smile didn't waver as he said this. "But they sound, hmm." He thought for a moment, turning around and placing his hands on the coppery window frame. The breeze was cool and kind, blowing Lucus's hair back letting you see his eyes usually hidden. "They sound like summer."