Miracle

Ben and Lucus ended up sitting on the far end of the room just chatting. It was a nice taste of normal in the recent events. A kind distraction from the pain of the unknown. Ben had a small bag of popcorn in his pocket from one of the downstairs vending machines so they tossed a few into each other's mouths in between topics. Lucus managed to miss almost every single one, however he actually caught two of them. Granted, Ben caught almost as few, but having a blind person throw for you doesn't make for the easiest catch. Nonetheless, they ended up spending a good hour catching and missing popcorn. Half asleep and having the best time somebody could have in such a situation. Not much, but still nice. It was soothing and happy for what felt like the first time in a while, yet Lucus couldn't shake a feeling. The feeling that this was somehow just the eye of the storm.

Eventually, Ben left the room to go grab more popcorn from the vending machine downstairs. This left Lucus alone to clean up the failed shots. Lucus got up to pick them up, when he heard Allicia murmur something quietly. He got back up and pulled back the curtain. She was clenching her fists and her eyebrow was furrowed. She seemed to be whispering the same things she had whispered when she first fell asleep. Lucus sat down on the bed. He could feel how tense she was, and heard the same somber words.

"It's okay. You're gonna be fine." He paused, wavering for a second. Being fine. Was that really a thing? People always use fine whenever it's anything but that. It's no one's place to decide that for the other. Just a mask. He knew what he knew, but never behind the barrier of fine. That's all anyone will ever know. It's not something, not the right, of Lucus or anyone else to assess the situation or future of anyone else. Lucus corrected himself. "You know what? That's a lie. It might be fine, but that's not something I could ever know. I'll wait for you to tell me if you're fine. If you aren't, well, you can lean on me if you can. Like I already told you, I won't ask. It isn't my right." He spoke slowly and in a low voice. A calm one. The only difference from at the party was the more carefully put words. "I don't know what you've been through. I don't want to shield you from the world so I won't sugar coat it. You deserve to have control of your own destiny." Lucus sucked in a breath, as if it was more painful for him to say than for Allicia to hear. "What a coward I am." He murmured under his breath to himself. "Only when you sleep." Lucus knew he was stalling, so he took another deep breath and tried again. "We don't know what's happening. I think it might be fatigue. We know you had alcohol. A lot of it. You're really sick. It might be blood loss. They won't tell us. If I'm being honest, it could even be a drug. We don't know what happened to the boys you fought, but they probably won't remember you. You have a concussion, and a fractured rib." He chuckled for some reason and wiped a tear he hadn't realized was there. "I don't know how you do it. How can you be so strong?" Lucus choked at his own words. "Why are you suffering like this? Please wake up." He then paused for a while, collecting his thoughts before continuing. Allicia had relaxed by now, but Lucus continued. It felt selfish. This was really just for himself. "And your parents." Allicia somehow flinched at this. "They haven't answered the phone. We never met them, but the hospital has you on record. What-" He stopped himself. "Sorry. I promised I wouldn't ask." Lucus picked up Allicia's limp hand and held it to his own forehead. She was warm. It felt nice. He found himself tearing up a little. "You were one of my first friends. Did I ever tell you that? I never got the chance to thank you, so, thank you. You and Ben have made my life so much sweeter. I don't know if it's gonna be okay. God I hope it is. You were so kind, all the time… I'm acting like you're dead, but I really am scared. I'm always scared, you know that? Always. Scared that the world will turn on me like it did the day I was born." His tone wavered in anger for this last part, so he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, before changing the topic. "What does spring look like? People say it's nice. I like the weather, though. They say the trees are pretty. I like the park. The bird's sing pretty songs." He paused, smiling slightly. "You wanna know something? Whenever I try to imagine spring, I only think of you. It's stupid, I know. I'll never know the beauty of spring, nor can I know beauty itself. I still try though" He laughed at himself. "I actually have a secret." Lucus removed the book from his satchel. He smoothed his hand over the leather bound cover. "I have a book. It has pretty markings on the cover. It's called War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. That's what mother says, at least. What an interesting name. I guess mine is too, the spelling, I mean. Yours is also interesting. Why do I still have it? I think it's because I'm weak. I keep holding onto the fleeting hope that one day I could read this too. Read the words, see the sky, see spring, and see you, and Ben. Maybe I should just throw it out. Let it go rather than carry such a heavy burden with me wherever I go." Lucus let out another sigh and tilted his head upwards, so that if he could see, he would be looking at the ceiling. "But whenever it isn't there, my bag feels heavier for some reason. Probably just my own brain failing to make sense of something, again. Just like my broken eyes. I'm not quite sure myself, why I keep it on me. It would be easier to just adjust away from it. Every time I think about it, I always think, what if. What if It's not so I can see, but to share? Lives can be entire books. I want to read them all. No matter how impossible." Lucus smiled a sad kind of smile and put Allicia's hand down. "Please be okay. I want to share so much more with you." He said. Then a miracle happened. Allicia's breath continued to waver. Her pulse still kept at its own beat, and yet, she began to open her eyes.