T W E V L E

I woke to the buzzing of a phone going off, once my senses had come to me I realized it was an alarm. What time was it? I felt around under my pillow only to be find Bex's arm. It was his phone going off. Images from the previous night flashed through my head and I shivered.

"Are you cold?" Bex looked over at me with sleepy eyes and messy hair, "no, it's just... reality has come crawling back up. That's all."

He frowned, "I'm sorry, did I do something wrong..?"

"No, no, no, it's not you," I smiled at him, "it's the Ritual."

"I suppose I should sneak out before our parents are all gathering?" He rolled over and sat up on the edge of the bed, the alarm finally turning off.

"Stay." I grabbed his hand.

"Are you su-,"

"Yes, I'm 21 now, they cannot judge. You don't have to be a secret today."

He turned to me with a smile, wrapping me in his arms, "I guess that means you get to keep my shirt on then."

I smiled, content in his arms and inhaled his scent. He smelled good, like fresh linen. Normally, he would sneak out of my room before everyone woke up. While it was normal for wolves to have partners before their Mate, our parents would disapprove of us being together, in the chance something went horribly wrong, we could jeopardize the peace for the future Alpha and Beta.

Bex laid us back down, he elbow holding him above me and his forearm supporting my neck. He looked at me, "something is off this morning Kai... what's going on?" I looked at my hands, my fingers tracing randomized shapes and lines across chiseled chest.

"Nothing.." I whispered. Though I knew what was wrong.

"Look at me.." He used his other hand to lift my chin so our eyes met, and his expression saddened. "I can see the emptiness in your eyes, your wolf is quiet isn't she...."

I looked at his lips, frowning as he said the words, "she's.... gone." My fingers were shaking and my breathing uneven. Bex kissed my forehead, "Its okay, she'll come back. Was the stress of the Ritual too much??"

Tears welled in my eyes, "I think so," I lied. In reality, she was gone because I had dishonored her. She wanted Gabriel, and I was here, with Bex. It wasn't fair to her, but Gabriel and I hadn't yet decided to claim or reject one another. So she wasn't being fair to me either.

"Do you want me to take your mind off of it?" Bex trailed kisses over my left shoulder, a common move to make if you want to get a wolf to come back, even if it's in anger. However, there was silence in my head.

I moved a hand to his face and tilted his lips to mine, "you can...try," I playfully challenged him between kisses. I felt the smile cross his face and his right arm pulled my waist into him.

--

The hot water felt good on my skin. I stood in my shower, leaning on the wall, letting the stream run down my back. My mind was racing, I couldn't stop picturing Gabriel and Harlow, flash backs of Bex and I, Pryor's face when he looked up at me in amusement, Gabriel looking down at me from the DJ stand, proud.

I was spiraling into a depression, without my wolf, my mental state would slowly decline and she could abandon me completely. A suicidal mission that would claim both of us.

I slowly started to sit down in my shower. Three days had passed since my birthday. I hadn't left my room, Fern had dropped things off at my door, Bex had called me numerous times a day. Pleading me to let him in. He wanted to help, they all did. Theo would come check in to make sure I was still breathing. I had put mental barriers in my mind so the MindLink connection was off.

I needed to eat, but I wasn't hungry. I needed water, but I was to weak to even drink through a straw. This was the first shower I had managed to take since the morning before we went to The Palace. Since before Gabriel had rubbed his scent all over me, since Bex's skin had touched mine.

"Be proud of the shower. Something is better than nothing."

I spoke to my wolf, trying to get an answer. Again silence was returned to me. I reached up and shut the water off, and curled up in a bawl in my tub. Naked, shivering, trying to get my wolf's instincts to bring her back. Starvation, dehydration, hypothermia, they were all things that should trigger a reaction from her. Still, there was nothing.

I tried to convince myself that three days was enough days of being sad. It was time to start training, it was time to face Gabriel. It was time to make him regret hiding me.

I couldn't move from the tub.

An hour had passed. My skin was mostly dry and I had unfortunately avoided hypothermia since my house was much too warm. I needed to do something bigger, or maybe I could go see Gabriel... no. I didn't want to see him. He hadn't tried to call me, and I would know if he was knocking on my mental barriers.

I fell asleep. Laying in the tub, still cold, but not cold enough. Sleep was better than reality.

"Kai..." there was knocking on the bathroom door, it was Fern. "Hmm?" I let the sound escape my lips.

"Are you okay...? Can I come in?" She asked, her voice as sad as I felt.

"No."

"Well, if I can't come in, you're going to want to come out here..." Her tone changed and peaked my curiosity, "trust me."

I groaned and sat myself up in the tub, my now damp hair was a disaster, I ached from sleeping on the hard porcelain.

"Are you coming or do I need to break down this door?"

I let out a growl.

"Fine fine fine."

It took every ounce of strength for me to pull myself up and stand in the tub. I leaned a hand on the wall, bracing myself to step out. I was weak, I hadn't eaten. The soft floor mat was warm between my toes and I mentally kicked myself for not sleeping on that instead of in the tub.

I opened the door just a crack and peaked out into my bedroom. My jaw dropped.

The curtains over my window were changed to the burgundy that matched the body suit I had been gifted a few days ago. Decorative pillows on my bed, an accented throw blanket.

That's when I saw it.

A note sitting on the side table. My stomach dropped.

I opened the door and Fern looked at me, her eyes full of concern and awe. She followed my gaze to the note and grabbed it. She didn't open it, she just handed it to me and helped me sit on my bed.

"Girl when you're done explaining all of this, I need to do something about that hair."

I smiled and rested my head and her shoulder.

My dearest Kai,

you really did a number on Pryor. A bit more than I was expecting, but I suppose it suits you well. You're going through a bit of a change right now, aren't you?

xoxo,

- E

My eyes widened. Who the hell is E? How did they know about what kind of changes I was going through. I looked at Fern, she was so puzzled. I wanted so badly to fill her in, but I couldn't. I didn't even know what was going on.

"So, you... I'm assuming, didn't decorate my room?" I looked at her.

She silently shook her head and let out a sigh.

"I know you're going to ask, so before you do, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on with me. I don't know what Bex might have told you..but something isn't right."

Fern wrapped her arm around me, "I know. He only told me that it seemed like you were really going to need me now." A tear streamed down my face, "and for what it's worth, he's really worried about you."

I sat up, quickly wiping the tears away, "I'm going to recondition my hair, will you stay here and help me with it?"

She grinned from ear to ear, "I can even just come sit in the bathroom."

"Oh fine, I guess I have a story to tell, and possibly a confession to make." We walked into the bathroom and I turned the hot water on.

"EEEEE," she jumped up and down, "I cannot wait for you to spill the beans."

She jumped up on to my big counter, criss cross apple sauce style, and I got in the shower. I immediately soaked my hair, and shampooed it, my previous shower I just soaked it, I didn't have the mental capacity to clean it.

"So anyway, I don't think you're going to hate me, but if you do, don't. Swear it?" I asked her, rinsing my head.

"I could never hate you Kai."

I inhaled deep, preparing for the mouthful ahead of me, "Bex and I have had secret sleepovers for the last two years," I blurted.

Fern whipped the shower curtain open, "WHAT?!" Her face was in pure shock, not upset or anything, just shocked, "I can't believe I was so oblivious! Does Theo know?!"

I shook my head, "nope, just you, Bex, and I."

"No WONDER he's been so worried about you. He's in love with you Kai."

My heart sank, I was in love with him too, but I had found my mate. It was time we were going to part ways.

There was a constant buzzing in my head, I still hadn't lowered the mental blockade I had put up, and decided to lower it just a tad.

"I want to give you answers."

Gabriel's voice echoed in my head now. A small scream came out of my mouth from the surprise.

"You're going to have to work harder than that," I replied, and Fern poked her head through the curtain again.

"What happened are you okay?!"

I shot her a glare, "I'm fine. Just a little mindlink that was unexpected." I closed the curtain and rinsed my conditioner out.

"Fern, I want to tell you so bad, but this secret isn't mine to tell yet." I sighed, "don't you dare open this curtain again." I let out a soft growl and I heard her whimper, "I'm sorry, something is happening to me, and I don't know what it is."

"Bex thought that maybe your wolf was.....quiet.. these days."

My eyes shot open at his name. A slight anger fueling me.

"SHE ISN'T JUST QUIET. SHE'S GONE FERN," and it was my fault. My fault my wolf was dormant. My fault she wouldn't come back and turn us into the badass Queen we are.

I heard Fern gasp. I shut the water off and and dried my skin, a sudden hot flame igniting somewhere deep inside. I jumped out of the tub for the second time today and wrapped my hair in my towel, forgetting everything I said about Fern brushing it.

I grabbed the closest pair of leggings and a sports bra, put on an oversized t-shirt and ran out the door. I could hear Fern chasing after me.

Where are you? I tried to calmly locate Bex.

We're training at the gym, how are you feeling? Don't come here, I'll clean up and come over.

No.

I sprinted as fast as my weak human body would run. The effects of my missing wolf in full swing. I was worn out faster, I was running on empty, having not eaten or really drank anything for three days. Still, I pushed myself. Fern was catching up but I beat her to the door.

I stepped inside the gym, they weren't near the weights, which meant they were probably in the basement, in the area more for wrestling and training your combat skills. Perfect.

I ran down the stairs, sure enough Theo and Bex were training. Both of them stopped instantly when they saw me.

"Hey, hey, hey slow down.." Theo rushed over and offered to help me brace myself, stupid weak human body. I shoved him off of me, my eyes glaring into Bex's soul. Bex raised a brow at me.

"YOU." I walked over and shoved him.

"Kai... calm down.." He put an arm out to stop me from getting myself into something stupid.

"You are the reason she is gone." I snarled, almost stalking him like prey.

Theo ran up and stood between us, "who's gone Kai, what are you talking about.."

"Her wolf..." Bex answered, "its okay Theo. If this is what she needs, I'll spar her."

I grinned evilly, "you asked for it."

I ran right at him, my blood boiling that Bex was the reason my wolf was gone. You couldn't change my mind, even if it really was my fault.

Bex blocked all of my punches, the last punch I threw at him he grabbed my wrist, spun me around and put me in a choke hold. I slammed the back of my head into his chin and nose, and he dropped me with a groan. I spun around fast and kicked out his knees, dropping him on his back but he rolled backwards over his shoulder and back on to his feet.

I smiled at him, we both walked in a circle, "knock me out Bex." His name dripped like a poison off my tongue.

"No Kia, you know I won't hurt you. No matter what you do."

"Then that, is your mistake."

I lunged at him again, landing one of two punches to his jaw. It hardly phased him and he grabbed my neck, pressing me against the wall. He pushed me high enough that I was standing on my tippy toes and I was struggling to breath.

"Do...it" I seethed between my teeth.

He growled, his wolf was coming to the forefront, and I smiled more, "I like the position you have me in here...choke me Bex..."

He dropped me right as I was starting to have slight tunneling on my vision and I gasped, I looked up at him, "two more seconds and you had me."

"No sweetheart, I still do." He picked me up again and slammed me against the wall a little harder this time, his eyes were fully black and he had lost control of his wolf. Exactly what I wanted. I grabbed his forearm with both of my hands and kneed him in the ribs, causing him to press himself against me.

My eyes started to go black, I couldn't breathe, but I kept pressing his buttons, I kept trying to get away, forcing his grip to tighten.

Finally it happened, darkness.