Misaligned Affections

Chen Ruoxi was waiting in the courtyard for news when her personal maid, Chuntao, rushed in, flustered and unable to meet her gaze. It was evident that something was amiss.

During breakfast, she had overheard the servants mention that the old master had gone to the Rose Courtyard to see Xuan Yue. Her curiosity piqued about what had transpired between them that prompted Chuntao to seek information.

Chuntao hurried to Chen Ruoxi's side, her head lowered as she knelt on the ground. "Miss, the old master requests your presence in the study," she announced.

Chen Ruoxi glanced at Chuntao, her instinct urging her to scold the maid. However, before she could speak, Chuntao interjected, "Miss, the old master treats Miss Xuan Yue with utmost respect. Everyone says she is a good person, but I do not share that sentiment. When the old master first discovered me, he did not unleash his wrath; she merely informed him that having someone to share idle moments with on a rainy day meant she was under surveillance during her time in the Bai residence. Miss, she is merely adding fuel to the fire."

Chuntao, fearing reprimand from Chen Ruoxi, quickly shifted the blame onto Xuan Yue. Chen Ruoxi shot her a displeased glance, lamenting the incompetence of her own maid.

"You will remain kneeling here until I return," she commanded.

Rising to her feet, Chen Ruoxi reflected on why the old master had chosen her from so many. It was her compliance and ability to handle matters with discretion that earned her that position. Under her management, the Bai household had run smoothly, with her husband residing in the military camp. Despite this, she had never voiced a complaint, not even to her family, which likely evoked a sense of guilt in the old master.

Adjusting her clothing, Chen Ruoxi cast a final look at the kneeling maid before turning to leave.

The old master's study was located in the back courtyard, a fair distance from Chen Ruoxi's quarters. She navigated the corridors and reached the rear yard directly.

In contrast to the main hall and primary courtyard, the back was significantly cleaner. Although Bai Zhanfeng was the current head of the Bai family, his temperament led the old master to handle many matters personally to avoid offending others. He reserved discussions of particularly important issues for the study.

At the study door, Chen Ruoxi gently knocked before entering. Bai Ao was seated at the desk, his brows furrowed and lips pressed together in a serious expression. Upon seeing her, he maintained his stern demeanor, gesturing for her to take a seat.

Chen Ruoxi closed the door behind her and approached Bai Ao, bowing respectfully. "Old Master, you called for me?" She then sat in the chair he indicated, her demeanor respectful yet lacking the warmth that should have been present.

Bai Ao studied her sitting opposite him, letting out a sigh. He felt a pang of guilt; he had personally chosen her for Feng'er, appreciating her gentleness, prudence, and understanding. Since their marriage, she had shown filial piety towards him, earning the admiration of the household staff, and had never criticized Feng'er or complained to her family. He was indeed pleased with her, but sadly, Feng'er did not share his sentiments. 

Bai Ao could not help but think of his deceased son and daughter-in-law, reminiscing about the early days of their marriage. If they were still alive, Feng'er would not have to endure such hardship; it was his failing as a grandfather.

"Chuntao has already informed you, I presume?" 

Bai Ao's expression was stern, yet his tone softened slightly. He felt a measure of guilt toward Chen Ruoxi; though he was displeased with the situation, she was the mistress of the Bai household, and Feng'er bore his share of the responsibility. Had he not neglected Ruoxi, the situation might not have escalated to this extent.

"Please forgive me, Old Master," Chen Ruoxi replied, kneeling before him. "I have already punished Chuntao. This incident arose from my oversight; I did not expect her to be so reckless."

Seeing Chen Ruoxi kneeling, Bai Ao's heart softened. The Bai and Chen families had longstanding ties, and he regarded Ruoxi almost as a granddaughter. However, her actions this time had indeed been thoughtless.

"Please rise," he instructed, his voice firm. Chen Ruoxi obediently stood, keeping her head lowered, standing in place.

"Ruoxi, you are an intelligent girl. In this world, our authority is no longer absolute, especially with Chu Kingdom now aligned with Fenglan. Since we have chosen to stand together, we must avoid any semblance of discord. Xuan Yue is both the queen of Feng Kingdom and the queen of Lan Kingdom. I understand your wariness due to Feng'er's feelings for her, but as the mistress of the Bai family, you must embody the grace befitting your position."

His tone grew more serious, as the matter concerned the Bai family. Ruoxi's behavior had been far too inappropriate. While he understood her predicament, he had turned a blind eye to her lack of visits to Xuan Yue, realizing that regardless of who was at fault, Chuntao was still her maid, and even if she did not instigate the actions, she was complicit.

"Ruoxi understands," she replied, her hands clenched into fists beneath her sleeves, head bowed in submission.

"Xier, I understand your concerns. Feng Xuan Yue is certainly not the kind of person you fear," Bai Ao insisted, fixing his gaze on Chen Ruoxi. "In terms of temperament and conduct, she is in no way inferior to any man. In my forty years of service, I have encountered many individuals, but women like her are rare. As the queen of the Lan Kingdom, she serves as a model for all. She fully comprehends the weight of her responsibilities and would never act in a manner unbefitting her status."

Bai Ao's confidence in this was unshakeable. While he chastised Bai Zhanfeng, he also felt a pang of sympathy. Among the countless women in the world, why did he have to fall for one who could never belong to him? Yet, the more he interacted with her, the more he understood; who could resist a woman like that? He recognized this, but Ruoxi did not. He had watched her feelings for Feng'er closely, and a sigh escaped him, worried that she might do something foolish.

Ruoxi remained silent, her heart brimming with discontent. Throughout her life, she had never witnessed such praise from the old master directed toward anyone, man or woman. She felt an amalgam of worry and anger, unable to comprehend what made Feng Xuan Yue so remarkable. Why did all the good fortune of the world seem to fall upon her? The Lan King was willing to face death for her; the heir to the Xuanyuan family admired her; the princes of Feng Kingdom lavished their affection upon her. Was this not enough? Why did her husband still cling to her? Knowing full well there would be no happy ending, he continued to torment himself, refusing to let her go. She, Chen Ruoxi, the daughter of the Chen Prime Minister, could not fathom what was lacking in herself.

Chen Ruoxi failed to realize that matters of the heart were never merely about who was worthy or unworthy. When feelings were right, even the most flawed person could be seen as admirable, but if one's heart was closed, even the most perfect qualities would not impress.

She felt frustrated, having been married to the Bai family for over six months. She had navigated every situation with caution, afraid to let her guard down, yet still, the old master had not uttered a word of praise for her. On the contrary, she had heard tales of Xuan Yue's exploits, but based on her own observations, she believed that the tales were exaggerated due to Xuan Yue's status. Each day, she awoke late and the first thing she sought was something to eat. After eating, she would sleep again. The old master's fine wines were her only constant longing, and she often indulged to the point of drunkenness, no different from the vulgar common folk. Yet, it was this very woman who occupied her husband's heart. No matter how hard she tried, she was met with indifference. Now, the old master chastised her over this issue, and she perceived that his admiration was not solely because of her noble status; she could not fathom his praise.

Recalling the day Xuan Yue first arrived at the Bai residence, Chen Ruoxi felt a pang in her heart. On such a cold day, she had risen early to deliver a hand-stitched garment to him, yet he silently returned with another woman, sharing meals and merriment. Despite being married for some time, she had never seen him so joyful, guiding Xuan Yue away from her. She was his wife.

For so long, she had refrained from visiting Xuan Yue, unwilling to bow before someone she held in disdain. However, now, she was eager to go, longing to discover what unique charm this beloved woman possessed.

"Upon my return, I will take Chuntao to the Rose Courtyard to apologize to her," Chen Ruoxi declared.

The mention of the Rose Courtyard filled her with resentment. Although it appeared no different from other courtyards, the name 'Rose' carried extraordinary significance. She had always wished to reside there, yet he had consistently denied her. But upon her arrival, he had ordered the courtyard prepared for her.

Bai Ao nodded approvingly. "Ruoxi, I understand that you feel hurt and wronged; both Feng'er and I have failed you. However, now that you are a member of the Bai family, you must consider the greater good. You need to discern what actions are appropriate and which are not, what you can do and what you cannot. This is something you must contemplate deeply."

Rising to his feet, Bai Ao's tone took on a stern warning. Ruoxi is a good girl, but at times she tends to be overly stubborn.

"Ruoxi understands."

Bai Ao nodded in satisfaction and gestured for her to leave. He believed that Chen Ruoxi would comprehend his intentions, unaware that this situation had ignited a profound resentment within her, ultimately leading to irrevocable mistakes that could nearly bring the entire Bai family to ruin.