11. Morning Promenade

My fingers ran along Lord Byron's name on the cover page of Don Juan; there was one copy in the palace library. Caressing the dried ink, my lips instinctively parted as I stared down at it. No…. Benedict is right; it's good that I didn't read his letter to me. Lord Byron was a notorious womanizer. He could never give me the kind of love I want; I'd be foolish to think otherwise. My breath wavered a little here…. Still, to think that Britain's most desired man…. The man who received countless love letters and locks of hair, with girls throwing themselves at his carriage in the street…. This man took the time to write me- someone he didn't know- a letter. It'd be untrue for me to say I wasn't flattered…. In truth, I hadn't thought about that letter in years, and yet something in me began to stir again. The same sort of desire, temptation I had the moment the Spaniard's hand touched mine. Lord Byron was well-beloved in Regent society, and he could do without it. So could I….. I already knew; somewhere deep down inside, I already knew.

I wanted to return to the continent.

Lady Danbury and I walked arm-in-arm on the palace grounds out in the back. Lots of couples and their escorts were out on a stroll; even the queen was taking some air. Her ladyship and I made small talk at first, but gradually drifted into more natural conversation. We'd barely known each other more than a day, and I could already see why Mother liked her so much. I liked her! Lady Danbury was someone I wanted to keep in touch with…. when Father and I left again after the marriage ceremony.

"Ah, don't take his cold temper to heart, Daphne. The duke rarely smiles as it is." "Oh, I don't mind, Lady Danbury. His grace has made it apparent to me that…. he does not desire this match," my head lowered a little. "He's always been such a stubborn boy; you should have seen him as a child. Takes after his mother- can be ridiculously hot-headed one moment, icy the next, but underneath it all he has a heart of gold," she replied. Coulda' fooled me, I internally rolled my eyes. "You'll have to be patient with him, dear. Just you wait; by the time of your wedding, he'll be thrilled to have you as his duchess. You'll see," she continued on with confidence. I wasn't so sure, gazing at her ladyship from the corner of my eye.

"Are you excited to move to Hastings?" Lady Danbury then asked me. I blinked to her, taken slightly aback by this question. "The duke wants me to live with him?" "Of course! You're going to be his wife, after all. And let me tell you, life as a duchess will have many demands. Hosting balls, greeting foreign dignitaries. You will not merely be in society; you will be leading it." Ugh, that actually sounds horrible. I have no desire to do so, as I'm certain she saw in the grin I was trying to supress. "His lordship has gotten along quite well without a duchess by his side so far. I'm sure Lord Hastings would manage fine without my help after we're married."

Lady Danbury stopped here and held me back by the arm, making me look back at her. "What are you saying, Daphne? Aren't you coming to live with us after you're wed? You don't plan to stay at your father's, do you?" "Wha-…? No…. No, it's just…. I was under the impression that the duke wanted nothing to do with me. I don't see how a marriage contract- a slip of parchment- would change that." "Miss Bridgerton!" Her ladyship gasped astonished. But I remained resolute in my conviction. "I can't reform him, Lady Danbury; we both know that. He has his roguish ways which I don't expect to change once we're wed. And I'm fine if he seeks comfort elsewhere!" "You wouldn't be jealous?" Her eyebrow raised and I shrugged. "How can I be jealous of something I've never had? The duke may be mine by law, but he'll never give his heart to me. What sense is there of me pining for it now?" "Daphne…." Lady Danbury's bottom lip trembled just enough to barely be noticeable; I don't think this is what she expected me to say. Instead, I simply smiled at her and took her gloved hand in mine. I squeeze hers tenderly.

"Do not feel sorry for me, my lady. I'll be alright! I never expected my marriage to be a love-match. That's….. that's just not the way things are done here in Britain." "Oh, you're right there. Love and tenderness are foreign concepts to most of well-to-do British society," we began to walk again, taking our time. "Which is why I'm so thankful that Father's allowing me to pour myself into my education. My love of books shall replace any other sort of affection I lack…" I felt her eyes burning a hole through me, she was staring at me so hard now. "So that's it, then? You've resigned yourself to an unromantic future, have you?" I chuckled. "Well, we'll see what happens when Father and I return to Europe again…." "Again?!" Her ladyship's feet ground to a halt and she gawked at me shocked. Immediately realizing what I'd just said, I gave her a pleading expression, grabbing both her hands in mine. "Please, don't tell the duke! No one else knows that I've spent time abroad," my voice cracked as I begged in a whisper. She simply looked at me a moment, then slowly narrowed her eyes- but not in an unfriendly or sinister way. "You are full of surprises, aren't you child?"

Sensing the kindness in her tone, I gently grinned again, and we began to walk once more. "I had no idea it would be this much fun when her majesty paired you with my god-son. What other secrets are you hiding from me, Miss Bridgerton?" She inquired and I giggled. It was then that the queen and her ladies-in-waiting came into view down the cultivated path. This was the first time we met each other since the ceremony, but I harboured no ill-feelings towards her now. Lady Danbury and I curtsied, and her highness stopped just shy of five feet from us. She looked directly at me with that usual half-smirk of hers.

"Out for a morning promenade, ladies?" The queen asked us together. We nodded simultaneously. "Yes, your majesty." "Where is the duke? Is he not with you? I haven't seen your intend since yesterday, Miss Bridgerton," she quickly responded. My mouth spattered confused. "Uh…. Um…. Well….." What was I supposed to say to that? How I was supposed to know where the duke was at this very moment? Luckily Lady Danbury sensed my distress and instantly stepped in to my rescue. "He is sleeping in, your highness. Last night went a little late for his grace." The queen jeered, clearly unimpressed by this. "But you left the dining hall early, if I recall," she said this to me. My back arched with that tingly feeling you get when you're caught doing something you're not supposed to. Though I can't imagine what I did wrong in this scenario. Perhaps I should have tried to talk to my fiancé more after dinner? But he wouldn't have wanted that. I don't know…..

"Um, t-that's correct, your majesty; I did. But I was greatly fatigued from the day's events." "Daphne has a delicate condition and needs ample rest," her ladyship added to give my words credence. The queen still did not look amused, rolling her eyes calculatingly between Lady Danbury and myself. Her painted lips pursed a little. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say your fiancé is avoiding you, Miss Bridgerton," she quipped and a drop of sweat dripped down the back my neck. Oh no! She knows! She'll think we're insulting her choice of pairing, which I guess Lord Hastings is. But one does not insult a queen to her face! I had to all but plaster a grin across my lips and try to look as calm and natural as possible, which back-fired horribly. "What?! No, of course not, your highness. My fiancé is very happy with your choice," those words tasted like vinegar in my mouth.

"Indeed. That is why his grace has not sent you flowers yet or even called on you once since the ceremony," my heart couldn't have sunk faster at the sound of Cessida's voice approaching us from behind. It felt like someone physically ripped out my stomach and tossed it onto the ground, letting it lay there in the dirt. Lady Danbury also scowled, keeping a tight grip on my arm in a show of solidarity. We all looked to see Lady Cowper and her awful daughter walk over, curtsying when they arrived. Cessida sneered at me, obviously revelling in watching me squirm. "Ladies," even the queen appeared displeased with their arrival, but maintained a casual demeanour.

Cessida's eyes gave me a judgemental once over. "Why, Miss Bridgerton! Out again without your fiancé? The duke must be VERY busy if he can't even spare the time to walk with you." "Now, Cessida; that is not fair. The duke may rightly be preoccupied for all we know," her mother falsely scolded her. Her daughter shot me another snobbish glare, then she glanced over to the queen. "I wanted to thank you again for my match, your majesty. Lord Wellington is simply divine! He bought out every florist in town; I have so many roses, I don't know what to do with myself. Oh, and of course he's bought Mother a fresh bouquet every morning as well. Ah, your highness, we are in such utter bliss, as it should be for a recently engaged lady," her eyes locked onto mine as she said this last sentence. I frowned but was smart enough to keep my mouth shut. Lady Danbury, on the other hand, looked like she was ready to whack her upside the head with her cane.

Lady Cowper nodded in agreement. "Quite right, my dear. It is only natural you should feel so happy now. But how about you, Miss Bridgerton? How are you and your intended doing? I know the duke doesn't…. see you much, but how have you gotten on so far? I was worried you might quarrel after that dreadful display at the ball," Lady Cowper didn't see the glare the queen shot at her as she said this, which caught me by surprise. But there was no time to think about that now. I tried my very best to maintain a respect attitude and outward display, forcing another smile. "His lordship and I have come to…. an understanding." "Understanding?" Cessida raised her eyebrow suspiciously. "Yes. We are… happy with the arrangement we've agreed on," more vinegar-tasting words. Oh god, why does being out in society have to be so horrible? Why do all these women hate me? What did I ever do to deserve any of this? The sooner I get the heck outta here, the better.

But what happened next caught everyone off-guard. The queen actually smiled at me; a real, sincere smile. "I'm very glad to hear that, Miss Bridgerton. I have not seen as much of Lady Danbury as I would like since you've arrived back at court. I'd be pleased if your families might join me for dinner next week." "Dinner?" It took me a moment to understand that the queen was inviting us to dine with her, which was a great honour. The Cowpers instantly frowned, and Lady Danbury gave them a quick side-eye and smirk before bowing to her majesty. "It'd be our honour, your highness," her ladyship answered for both of us. After this encounter it slowly started to dawn on me that the queen might like me… Or at least not despise me like all the other ladies at court. We took our leave and I glanced back at her highness from over my shoulder curiously. She did that for me….. Queen Charlotte did me a kindness. But why? Why would she do that…..?

While I was perplexed by the situation, Lady Danbury was all smiles, looking very pleased. "Well, that turned out surprisingly well." "Do you think the queen likes me?" I asked her in earnest. "Likes you? I thought that would be evident, what with her naming you this Season's diamond and pairing you with London's most eligible bachelor." "The duke is London's most eligible bachelor?" I gasped surprised. "Certainly! You should see the amount of letters and favours he receives from young ladies and their mothers. He's used to be worshiped by women of every rank in society." "I bet he is," I rolled my eyes. So that's where he gets his conceited attitude from; why should I suspect he'd be any different after all that unwarranted positive attention?

Her ladyship gave my arm a squeeze, grinning a little to herself. "It would be cliché of me to say that you're different from other ladies at court. But there's something about you I find irresistible." "Oh? What's that?" "Hmmmm, hard to say. I can't explain it, but I'm sure it's the same reason why someone like Lord Byron would write to you. You do not seek these sorts of desirable men out; they come to you instead." "You give me too much credit, Lady Danbury. Unlike the duke, I do not receive scores of letters from potential suitors each day." "Perhaps you do, but the men in your family wish you to think otherwise," she replied so casually that it made me look at her. Really? I mean, it may be possible. The only reason I found out Lord Byron wrote to me was because Father and Anthony were away the day it arrived. But now that I was technically under the protection and care of my fiancé, would that change? I never thought about it before…

As if we were in some bad sort of play, a familiar male face suddenly came into view just then. I winced a tad at the sight Lord Hastings stepping into the park. Oh no, not now! Everyone will see him snub me in public again; just more fuel for the rumour mill. I prayed he didn't spot us.

But of course he did. Lady Danbury flashed him a half-delighted, half-punishing look once he approached us by the old chestnut tree near the rose garden. I curtsied without a word, barely able to look him in the eye. Her ladyship did the talking for both of us just then. "Well, it's about time you got up. What are you doing here? I thought you had letters to write back to the attendant at Hastings' estate." "I will. I just wanted to come see where you ladies were at." "Ladies? Don't you mean "your god-mother"?" Her ladyship smirked knowing. Not falling into her trap, his grace's eyes wandered over to me. He bowed gently. "Miss Bridgerton, good morning." "Good morning," I tartly replied, still not looking him in the eye. But he still did not leave, instead clasping his hands behind his back.

"I trust you slept well." "Very well, my lord. Thank you," short, sweet, and to the point. I wanted this interview to be over before anyone else saw…. Lady Danbury must have noticed this on my part. "Daphne and I have been walking all morning, and you'll never guess. We've just been invited to dine with the queen." "The queen?" His eyebrow raised at her. Her ladyship nodded. "Yes, we are to dine with her next week. Isn't that wonderful?" "Yes… wonderful," Lord Hastings repeated, gazing back my way as he said it.

Feeling a tad playful, Lady Danbury decided to press the matter mildly. She grinned cheekily at the duke; her eyes twinkling. "Of course we understand if you'll be absent for most of the time until then," she told him. Lord Hastings perked up, almost insulted. "Absent?" "Didn't you say that you only intended to see Daphne at dinners and balls? That will free up a lot of her time until we meet with the queen again." Both I and my fiancé gawked at her, unsure what to make of her teasing words. The duke truthly looked a little frazzled and taken aback. "I never said…!" "Oh, but you did, your grace. You told her precisely that at the Engagement Ball, did he not Miss Bridgerton?" Lady Danbury peered to my startled face. Lord Hastings cleared his throat. "You misunderstood me," I think he was saying this more to me, which annoyed me somewhat. My eyes shot over to him. "Did I?" I doubt I did. He took a step nearer to me. "What I meant was….."

"Miss Bridgerton!" We were interrupted by another new male voice. A cheerful, well-looking fellow, about my age I'd say, came rushing over with a smile and a wave. He was carrying a bouquet of pink and white roses in his other hand. Lord Hastings immediately frowned while Lady Danbury and I greeted him with a warm expression. "Lord Bertram, good morning," her ladyship bowed. This bright-faced young man reached us, grinning like a happy sun; he didn't seem to notice the scowl the duke was sending him now. "I'm so glad to find you here. Good morning!" "Ah, Daphne; this is Colin Bertram, Lord Bertram's son and heir," her ladyship introduced us. "Pleased to meet you, my lord," I curtsied respectfully.

Lord Bertram beamed, gazing up at the sky. "My, what a beautiful day. We're so lucky to have so much sun. You made a wise choice to promenade this morning, ladies." "Thank you," I grinned, peering down shyly. The duke saw this but said nothing right away. "What have you got there, my lord?" Lady Danbury asked in that teasing tone of hers again. Very merrily, the man all but thrust the bouquet up into my arms, wearing the world's most joyful smile. "For you, Miss Bridgerton." "O-Oh…. Oh my! How beautiful! They're lovely," and they were, their scent wafting up to my nose. This was the first time anyone outside of my family has given me flowers…

Admiring my flowers, I gave Lord Bertram a kind smile. He reminded me of one of Jane Austen's characters in that new novel she was currently writing- one Mr. Bingley. Sweet, youthful, and so full of life; quite the opposite of someone else I knew. "Thank you, my lord. It was very sweet of you to think of me." He grinned, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Ah, well; it was the least I could do, seeing as I didn't have a chance to dance with you the other night. Your brother told me that roses are your favourite….." Awe, my smile widened. "You're right, my lord. Roses are my favourite, and it was thoughtful that you should remember." "I hope to see you again soon….. W-With Lord Hastings permission, of course," Lord Bertram nervously glanced toward my fiancé, who met his glance with a scowl.

"I believe that Miss Bridgerton has to prepare for her move this afternoon," the duke proclaimed. I frowned at him, surprised and unamused. "Now, my lord? But Lord Bertram only just arrived…." "I won't have you being late to meet your father or brothers. Head inside and start packing," he ordered with directness, looking me straight in the eye. "But your grace…" I was about to protest more before he cut me off. "Go," he commanded one more time. I shot Lord Hastings a glare before peering back to a slowly deflating Lord Bertram. I made sure to give the latter one last smile. "Thanks again for the roses, my lord. They're simply stunning. I shall save you a dance at the next ball." Only then did his face light up again in glee. "Oh, thank you, Miss Bridgerton! I'd like that very much." We grinned at one another as Lady Danbury tugged my arm forward.

Still smiling, I shook my head from side to side a bit and gazed downward. "Perhaps you are right, my lady." And she too chuckled, giving my arm a mischievous squeeze. "This should prove to be very entertaining." "His lordship only interrupted us because he saw how happy I was," my eyes rolled. "That's one possibility, but it is not the only one. You may not get jealous of the duke, but I think jealously is a sensation Simon is not accustomed to feeling…

And certainly not one he was neither expecting nor prepared for."