Chapter-0.01 | Bottled feelings

"Ever since I was young, my parents raised me well—better than most, truth be told. They gave me everything I could have ever needed, and yet, I was greedy. Not that ambition itself is wrong, no... but my greed? It was misplaced. I was greedy in the wrong places, at the wrong times, and for all the wrong reasons.

My parents... they regretted so much—not that they brought me into this world, no, they never once blamed themselves for my existence. But they blamed themselves for their failure to discipline me enough, to steer me onto the right path. Yet even as I spiraled further and further into ruin, their love for me never wavered. It was unconditional, unrelenting—a love I didn't deserve, but one they gave freely.

Then there was Miranda..."

I let out a bitter laugh, my voice cracking under the weight of her name. "I caused her demise. She was the kindest, purest soul I'd ever known, and I destroyed her. Her fate… it was gruesome, unforgivable. She didn't deserve the horrors that befell her, yet I, the coward, let it happen. All because of my selfishness, my greed."

Another laugh escaped me—empty, hollow. "Haha, I even regret not going all in. Can you believe that? Classic me, always halfway in, halfway out. Even in my worst moments, I couldn't commit fully. What a joke."

The words spilled out of me, raw and unfiltered. Pouring everything out was something I had never done before, and it felt... cathartic. As though a weight I had carried for years was finally being lifted, piece by painful piece.

"My parents..." My voice softened, trembling with emotion. "I lost contact with them for years after Miranda's death. I couldn't face them. The shame, the guilt—it was unbearable. And yet, not a day goes by when I don't think of them, wonder if they still think of me. Do they miss me? Do they pray for me, even now? They loved me so much, and I repaid them with silence. I regret that more than anything.

You know," I continued, my voice breaking, "when that gun was pointed at me—when I was staring death in the face—for a moment, I felt relief. Pure, unfiltered relief. I thought, finally, an end to this useless, miserable existence. But then... then the reality hit me. I was really going to die. And do you know what I thought in those final moments?"

I screamed into the vastness of the open field, my voice ringing out, raw and anguished. "I cried! I cried like a child, not for my life, but for the things I would never get to do. I cried because I'd never see my parents again, never hear their voices, never feel the warmth of their embrace. How could I have wasted so many years? How could I have let my pride keep me from the people who loved me most?"

Yin Xie said nothing. She simply sat there, her presence a steady anchor as I unraveled. I glanced up at her, but she didn't flinch at my outburst. There was no judgment in her eyes, only an inscrutable calm.

"I..." I took a shaky breath, trying to steady myself. "I'm glad I was brought to this world. You might not understand, but for me, it was a second chance—a chance I didn't deserve, but one I'm grateful for nonetheless. At first, I wandered aimlessly, lost and directionless, clinging to the only thing I knew: hoarding. Gold, mana crystals, treasures—I hoarded it all, thinking that wealth would fill the emptiness inside me. And for a while, it worked. I told myself that if I just had more, I'd be happy. But then…"

I smiled faintly, though it was tinged with sadness. "Then I realized something. I'd hoarded so much that I couldn't even spend it all in a lifetime. What good is having everything, if you have no one to share it with? What good is living, if you're not truly alive?"

The sun had dipped lower now, casting a warm, golden glow over the fields. The light seemed softer, kinder, as though the world itself was offering me solace.

"I understand now," I said quietly. "The importance of living. Of making connections, of leaving behind something more meaningful than a vault full of gold."

I looked up at Yin Xie, a tear-streaked smile on my face. "This talent of mine—this ability to accumulate wealth and power—it's a gift, one that was tailor-made for me. And for the first time in my life, I want to use it for something good. To make amends, to build a life that I can be proud of."

The sun had nearly set, its warm hues fading into the cool embrace of twilight. The first stars began to twinkle above, tiny beacons of hope in the darkening sky.

"I'm going to carry myself forward," I said firmly, my voice steady now. "With no regrets. Not anymore."

And for the first time in what felt like an eternity, I truly believed it.