Chapter six. Lost job

Alex had a significant impact on my mood, but I was not allowed to be weak. Even though I couldn't forget him and feel heartbroken every time I remembered him, I could only silently wipe my tears late at night when my mother was asleep. 

When faced with my sick mother and exhausted by work, I forced myself to be strong, force myself not to shed a tear or have a complaint.

Luckily, Anna didn't make things difficult for me anymore. Although I still had to work overtime without pay, Bella, my colleague, informed me of extremely good news. My manager had let me pass the probationary period. I just waited a few days until the probationary period ended, and my boss would announce this.

After becoming an official staff, I would receive overtime pay. Although my mother's illness has improved quite a bit, she still had to take medicine every day, adding to other expenses, creating a not small amount.

I believed that after getting a stable job, my life would gradually get better.

Thinking about the future that I always looked forward to, I couldn't help but smile unconsciously.

On the last trial day, I especially put on makeup and chose my outfit more carefully. It had been a long time since I took care of myself like that, mainly because I didn't have time.

I wore a slightly flared white half-sleeved dress with a large bow at the collar, black high heels and carried a black handbag. For the first time in many years I regained my confidence. Even my mother noticed the positive change in my mood. She smiled brightly as she watched me walk out of the house and closed the door.

The train was still as crowded and cramped as usual, but I thoroughly enjoyed this feeling. Every time the train came to a stop, I looked at people rushing. For me, hard work was not scary. The scariest thing was that even though I tried very hard, my life was still very bad.

I was the first person to arrive at the company. Ten minutes later, other colleagues arrived one after another. Seeing me, they couldn't help but make a few jokes.

"Why did you come so early today?" A smiling colleague patted my shoulder.

Another colleague immediately followed up. "Today you must treat us to a big meal."

It wasn't a secret that I became an official staff. According to company practice, those who became an official staff would invite everyone to eat something. If they had a high position, of course they would treat everyone to a big meal, but for a normal employee like me, I just needed to treat everyone to coffee or snacks.

Although my financial situation was not good, coffee or snacks were not worth much. Since last night, I had been searching for a store that was highly rated. As long as my boss officially announced the news, I would immediately place an order.

Compared to my friends, being officially staff for the first time gave me more feelings, excitement and also anxiety. After all, they were still young at that time. If they weren't accepted by this company, they could find another more suitable company, but I was different. During the five years after graduating, I always did miscellaneous jobs so good companies often did not give me the opportunity.

My colleagues started to focus on work while I was still anxiously waiting for the boss's announcement. I was originally very happy, but as the waiting time became longer and longer, I started to worry. 

Until late afternoon, my boss still had not made any move, Bella sitting next to me complained impatiently. "Why is our boss so busy today? I'm starving to death." 

I told her that I found a very delicious cake shop and ordered pastries at that cake shop. She decided not to eat too much at lunch so she could eat a lot of my pastries. 

The pastries I ordered were delivered, but my boss was still in her office, so I couldn't invite everyone yet. The company had a rule that unless there was a special event, we couldn't snack during working hours, so even if Bella was hungry, she could only fondle her glass of milk.

My boss was in her own office all morning. After lunch break, she continued working. This announcement wasn't too important. If it couldn't be announced today, it would still be possible tomorrow, but for some reason, I had a bad feeling.

Perhaps the reason came from the strange eyes of my boss in the cafeteria during lunch break. I didn't know if I was dizzy or not, but I caught a glimpse of her sighing when she looked at me. When I wanted to confirm, she had already turned her back on me.

It was almost time to get off work when my boss finally walked out of her office. She walked towards me and said, "Please come into my room!"

I looked at her dumbfounded. If she wanted to congratulate me on becoming an official employee, she would say it right here, in front of everyone, not ask me to go into her room to talk privately.

Even though I guessed that what she was about to say was most likely not what I wanted to hear, I still tried to regain my composure and stood up to follow her.

When the door to her office closed, I could imagine the curious eyes of countless colleagues looking in here.

"Sit down." My boss said gently and she also sat down.

I sat down opposite her, smiling wryly.

"Not good news." She sighed.

I smiled and listened, but inside I was extremely confused.

"I appreciate your efforts and ability to learn and really want you to continue to cooperate with our company, but unfortunately you are not really suitable for our company right now." She continued.

I was stunned. Even though I had guessed what she was about to say but when I heard her refusal with my own ears, I still couldn't help but tremble.

Bella told me that my boss had agreed to let me pass the probationary period. What she said was definitely not a guess, so why did things change like that?

I had tried very hard and believed in a bright future, but why did every time I had hope, it was quickly extinguished?

"May I know the reason?" I tried to suppress my emotions. Even though I knew that she might not tell me the real reason, I still wanted to ask.

"I'm really sorry that I can't work with you. You don't have experience but I highly appreciate your learning ability and efforts. I really hope you continue to work at the company, but the decision is not mine alone." My boss said regretfully.

I looked at her and smiled sadly. The company had many other bosses, the decision was not entirely up to her, but unless there was a special reason, no big boss cared about an ordinary employee like me. 

The reality was like this, even though I tried my best, the results were not always what I wanted. What hurted me the most was that when I thought I was about to have a good life, I was pushed into the abyss again.

I sighed, trying to find the cause did not change my tragic outcome.

I stood up absent-mindedly, bowed my head to her, turned and walked away. The opaque glass only showed the appearance of my colleagues, but I could clearly imagine their curious faces.

Before I closed the door, my boss spoke up.

"You shouldn't continue looking for jobs in nearby offices!"

I shouldn't look for work in nearby offices? 

I was surprised for a moment then curled my lips and laughed to myself. Perhaps this was the price I had to pay for my previous actions and decisions.

After all, who hated me enough to not want me to find a job nearby and be able to do so?

Only one person's name appeared in my mind.

Alex.