Farewell to Innocence

Part I - Dreaming

A field of spider lilies, as red as blood, this dimly lit, straight path under a starless, cloudless, pitch-black sky—this is where I found myself standing, even though I clearly remembered going to sleep moments ago.

Is it a dream? No…too vivid to be a dream...

Despite the trepidation welling within her, Akagi gathered her resolve and took a step into the unknown. She walked and walked, but no matter how far she went, the road seemed to go on and on forever, the forbidding landscape appearing to be taunting her and waiting for her to break down.

Nee-sama, why did you leave me? I feel so alone. I'm heading to places unknown. I'm scared.

I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

She walked and walked some more, not once pausing, eventually stumbling upon a river's shore; its water flows with an eerie, unnatural calmness. Looking around the riverside, she set her eyes on a familiar figure in the distance. She was apparently waiting for something.

It cannot be…nee-sama? Nee-sama!

Though the long walk hurt her feet, Akagi ran towards Amagi without so much of a second thought just as Amagi descended the waters.

"Nee-sama! Don't-"

Amagi stopped and turned her attention to the voice, but she stood still, allowing Akagi to catch up with her.

Her chest hurt, and so did her legs, but Akagi paid no heed; she embraced her sister tightly, not even caring that the latter did not return the gesture or say anything, and cried her heart out.

"Nee-sama…Nee-sama…! Please… don't leave. Please, I need you! I want you to watch me become as glorious as you were…."

Amagi circled her arms around her younger sister's waist and finally returned the embrace she was given. It felt natural and comforting enough that Akagi no longer paid any mind to her sister's peculiar manner or where she was.

Maybe this is not a dream after all.

Even if it is, let me stay.

Even if this is an illusion, let me stay.

Even for just a moment.

The embrace was brief, and Amagi finally pushed her sister away gently; Akagi tried to resist but eventually relented. Seemingly as a final consolation, Amagi raised one hand, touched her sister's cheek, and traced the tears running down through it to her eye before wiping it away.

Amagi was still silent as she turned around, resuming her walk toward the waters. Akagi was unwilling to let her go just yet, but just as she was about to follow, her legs became very heavy, and refused to move.

"Nee-sama! No!"

Amagi was serene, even as the river began to engulf her. She cast one last look at the weeping Akagi and smiled.

I've always cherished you.

She was gone so quickly, like a blink of an eye, swallowed by the waters. Left alone, Akagi fell to her knees, screaming to the heavens before darkness overtook her.

"Akagi?"

Akagi opened her eyes, seeing the familiar sight of her room and someone looming over her. She felt the heat rising towards her cheeks, partly due to her rather immodest sleepwear and partly because it was him. Her commander.

"Commander Todo? Wh-what are you doing here? "She frantically tried to cover herself a bit. He pointed at a pair of little KANSENs—which she recognized as Shoukaku and Zuikaku—standing behind him. "I caught these two sneaking around when I'm about to head to my quarters, and I heard you screaming, so I came to check. Are you okay?"

So it was a dream, after all.

"Yes, I am now. Thank you for your concern. I'm alright, just…a little shaken. I hope I did not bother the others."

"I guess you didn't, or maybe the others are just that understanding. Glad to hear you are...alright," Commander Todo said, his tone somewhat aloof, just like always; yet Akagi could see the genuine concern lying underneath.

"A dream? I had never had a dream before. I wonder what it feels like?" Zuikaku wondered aloud.

"Can a KANSEN even dream?" Shoukaku joined in; Todo sighed and put a hand on their mouths to keep them quiet.

"That's enough. You are bothering her. Now, go back to your quarters and go to sleep. Don't think you will not get disciplinary action either; if I or anyone else caught you two sneaking up again, it would be harsher."

"Spare my sister, please. It was my idea," Shoukaku implored as Todo ushered them out of the room; he promptly dismissed the request.

"Not going to happen. I promise it would not be too harsh if you two behave."

Both children sulked but otherwise said nothing as they headed to their room. Todo took one last look at Akagi, who was staring blankly at the door.

"Rest well, Akagi. Tomorrow is your big day," he said. Akagi blinked as realization dawned on her, and she suddenly tensed up that not even the commander's presence could alleviate.

"Understood…" She finally said, and Todo left afterward, leaving her to lay on her bedding again, though she was unsure if she could return to sleep. Or if she wanted to.

***

The sunlight streaming through the window and into her face spurred Akagi awake. While she—as it turned out—was able to return to sleep even after the dream, it did not do her any good; the heavy feeling that had been plaguing her still remained, and when she looked at her side, at the empty space where Amagi would usually lie down to sleep, she knew why. The comforting presence of her sister was no longer there.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

Wanting to force her tears back, Akagi roughly tossed her bedsheet away across the room, leaving it to crumple in the corner. She stared motionlessly at it for a good while and laughed mirthlessly before seizing her pillow and throwing it in the same direction.

"You said you will always be with me..."

She remembered. Today is the day. And the day after that, nothing will ever be the same again.

Heh. Hahaha. Indeed, I've always wanted to be a new me. But what's the point if you cannot see it? What's the point if my memory of your teachings became useless, nee-sama? I thought...I thought I could be stronger than this.

She did not want to get up from there, ever. But she realized they would come over sooner or later and drag her away, screaming and kicking if she didn't.

Wisely deciding she would rather spare herself the indignity, Akagi rose from the bedding, wobbling from the heaviness coursing her entire being.

I feel so alone. I'm heading to places unknown. I'm scared.

I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

Part II - Awakening

Akagi was out at sea, her gaze shifting between the water's surface and the setting sun as she recalled the days leading to it.

She didn't know what they did to her; the entire process felt like a long, dreamless slumber. Considering what she had experienced the night before, she was thankful it did.

When she finally opened her eyes, she noticed her appearance had not changed—yet, she knew she was a wholly different person now.

Memories of the reunion with Kaga came next. It was far from pleasant. Though Kaga actually seemed remorseful and wanted to ask for forgiveness, Akagi drove her away. She didn't even fight back after the slap and just turned tail quietly.

And now, she's here, on her very first mission after a series of trials. The fleet was there to investigate something the brass referred to as an "anomaly."

"You okay?" She heard Commander Todo speaking as he approached her.

"Ah, I'm fine. Thank you for your concern."

"I see. That's good. In any case, I hope we can finish this mission without much trouble and that the higher-ups are just paranoid."

Akagi made a little laugh but stopped after seeing the look Todo gave her.

"I'm sorry. It's just...you can worry too, after all."

"Who wouldn't worry for their wives and children waiting at home? I'm glad, though, so far, things have been calm."

Akagi closed her eyes. It was indeed calm. Too calm.

So why can't she?

***

Commander Todo jolted awake as the burning smoke entered his lungs, coughing profusely to push them out. The instinctive action aggravated the pain in his chest, but officers of the Imperial Navy were famously stoic even in the face of death.

The first thing that crossed his mind was to take stock of the surroundings, but when he tried to stand, he found out that he couldn't and realized his legs were maimed. But his eyes, bleary as they were, still worked, and he could see where he was—the wreck of his ship, listing but not sinking despite the heavy damage thanks to some mysterious force. Parts of her were still ablaze, which would explain the scorching air. He could still hear the dying blare of warning sirens, too, but not see the bodies of his crew.

Littered throughout the oddly colored, eerily tranquil waters were similar wreckage, the remains of his fleet. Plumes of smoke rose to the skies, dyed in an orange hue of a sunset but with more of an otherworldly feel to them, ominous and foreboding.

He soon realized where he was. He had never seen one, and he'd only seen scant reports of the phenomenon, but without a doubt, the alien seascape was indeed a Mirror Sea.

"Commander..."

A voice called out from his side, tinged with such regret he didn't recognize the owner at first. It was painful to hear.

"Akagi...you survived...? Thank the gods..."

"Sadly, yes..." Akagi, unscathed unlike the man before her, cast her gaze aside and hung her head down.

"...what?"

"Commander...have you ever so loved someone you would do anything for them?"

"...What are you talking about...? Listen, the Sirens, they must be still here; you need to find a way out and inform the headquarters about th—"

"I know," she cut him off and looked at the waters, to the figure—she looked like a human crossed with a warship and an octopus—watching from afar. Even from where he was, he could tell she was a Siren.

"Damn it..." Todo cursed; against his better judgment, he tried to rise again, only to fall down at Akagi's feet. As he pounded at the deck, enraged over his powerlessness, he could see tears dropping on it.

"...I was so torn, Commander, between my love for you...and my love for Amagi nee-sama."

Hearing that, Todo forced himself to look up. He saw her smiling amidst the tears, bitter as it was.

"You...love me...?"

"Ahh, but I've always known you would never return my affections. So I've made my decision. It was hard, Commander. I will live with this guilt for the rest of my life. But...if I could see her one more time...I would gladly bid farewell to innocence..."

"Akagi... don't—"

"And because of that, I know now what I'm truly looking for...to live as strongly as she did. And I won't let anyone interfere with this feeling."

As she spoke, Akagi ran a hand across her eyes. She turned her back on her Commander, but before she went, she looked over her shoulder.

"Farewell, beloved. Rest assured, I will...make sure that your wife and daughter...will be cared for."

And with that, Akagi descended upon the sea.

"Akagi...! Sto—"

Todo tried to go after her in vain, even if he had to resort to crawling like a pathetic worm, but another figure stopped him before he could go any further.

The Siren had a very unpleasant grin, and her manner of speaking was dripping with the venom of mockery.

"Well, well. You sure are stubborn. I guess the Imperial Navy really lives up to its reputation. I mean, look at your men, foolishly fighting to the end with no regard for their well-being. You're the only one left. That fox doesn't count. She's one of us now."

She paused, licked her lips, and cackled before seizing Todo by the hair, bringing her face close to his. She delighted in how he seemingly no longer had the will to respond, let alone fight back.

"Well, that means you are a loose end. And you know what? We don't like leaving loose ends hanging. Goodbye."

***

A few weeks had passed, and the Imperial Navy was still in uproar after losing several ships and their officers to the Siren ambush.

Yet, as she lay on her cell cot, Akagi felt very much at peace.

The guards outside thought she couldn't hear them as they talked about her. They were mistaken; she could listen to everything, sense their fear—the fear they feebly attempt to hide through their mockery of her.

The brass, too, was fearful. And why wouldn't they? She was the sole survivor of the attack and returned none the worse for wear; they were right to be suspicious.

If they knew what truly happened, they would have put her to death immediately; if she had to be honest, she would be fine with that fate.

But they foolishly didn't. They just threw her into prison, thus giving her the time to plan her next course. To wait for the right opportunity.

As she was contemplating, there was a sound of the door unlocking, and she turned to it as it swung open, revealing the man she had been waiting for.

"My lord," she rose from the bed and bowed at the newcomer.

"...No need to address me like that," he replied.

Akagi didn't answer as she eyed him. The nondescript officer uniform that she remembered Prince Mito would always wear before now had been replaced with the military regalia of the imperial family.

"Forgive me, but when you dress like that, I cannot address you in any other manner."

"Fair enough. Well then; you might be surprised by my visit here..." the prince said, pausing to look at Akagi to see if she did. She didn't, but he continued nonetheless, "...or maybe not, but the point is, I have a need for you."

"Ah, and what would you need from this Akagi?"

"The Emperor's days are numbered. The Crown Prince will soon ascend the throne. And thus, a new era will begin."

He paused again, only continuing when Akagi silently motioned for him to do so.

"But my older brother...is weak. He is not strong enough to usher in that era. Even so, he is still my brother. He will be the Emperor. It's an enormous undertaking; I intend to shoulder it for him. For that, I need you, Akagi. Fight with me for the Empire."

There was a laugh after the remark.

"You need not mask your ambitions with such sentiments, my lord, for I will pledge my loyalty to you regardless," Akagi proclaimed. "Unworthy as I am, use me as you see fit."

Just as I will use you.