Meeting the Fox and the Tengu

*-*-*-*-*

The process of grieving was a painstaking task to go over by just two children—one being an inept teen which was obviously me — that is much that I can tell you. Yuu acts as the pillar between the two of us, taking it as his personal responsibility to take care of our well-being, for he is the 'eldest' of us two. Not that I'd do a great job of taking responsibility since I often avoid responsibility like it was the grossest thing on Earth.

I hadn't touched 'responsibility' with a hundred meter pole in my past, "Always be the follower never become the leader." that had always been my go to motto, it makes living a whole lot easier and less likely for complications. My death and my decision to learn the piano were the most prominent of the times when I took responsibility over something. Most of the others were also pertaining to me, or only for the few exceptions that I could afford, being a daughter and a granddaughter was one of them.

I'm an irresponsible coward okay?

You can judge me with your eyes as much as you want and I won't give two shits about it as long as it doesn't fucking kills me. Or if there really even is a way to properly kill me.

(Is it just me or am I cussing more and more? I blame Daiki-ojiichan for this, it's all his influence I swear! Or maybe it's my brain's way of coping with the loss of the man in my life. If that's it, then I wouldn't mind being a sweary teenager. But not now, since I'm biologically still a toddler, Yuu would probably have a heart attack if he hears me saying shit.)

Going through the five stages of grief again was a bitch and a half. Yuu just going straight up to anger then to acceptance like nobody's business was scary, if his face was untwitching before, then I can say that it's all but a perfect imitation of a glacier.

(Is that my fault? Did I do that to him?)

Jesus, a kid shouldn't be so emotionless. I would take a tantrum and a rage fest any day rather than this.

I would rather take a socially awkward Yuu rather than an emotionless Yuu for the rest of my life. He's important to me like Kaa-san was, say it what you will, but he's like a brother to me and I would go through the lengths just to keep him safe my fear be damned.

He's the only one I have now and I'm a selfish girl. If I have to cling to him like Pooh does to his honey jar then I would, not even the threat of Pennywise making me 'float' if I don't let go would dissuade me and I have a giant fear against people with white painted faces.

"Short steps, deep breaths."

I looked down at Yuu from my lap, where I managed to threaten him to lay down. I promised to screech 'till I spit out my larynx if he doesn't, and like the smart kid that he was, he caught on that I'm not kidding when I started to scream loudly enough to wake the dead.

I think that he's also just humoring me, probably noting that I have been a bit antsy for the past few days. He'd always been perceptive like that when it comes to my own fluctuating emotion, even more so than I do.

"Everything is alright,

Chin up, I can't

Step into the spotlight."

I started petting Yuu's surprisingly silky hair, carding my fingers through his unbound tresses reminding me of times when I used to play with Kaa-san's hair. I think he's going to grow it out as another physical reminder of Tsu-nee aside from his red yukata.

Maybe I should do the same with my hair as a reminder of Kaa-san.

Yuu, Daiki-ojiichan and Tsu-nee had told me that I look a lot like Kaa-san if I have much longer hair, but obviously, they're wrong on that account since Kaa-san doesn't have split caterpillar eyebrows and an uncute face like mine.

"He said, "I'm sad."

Somehow without any words

I just, stood there

Searching for an answer~"

I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling the cool night air around us, hearing the whispers of the wind for another long night in the woods with different wildlife around us. In the sky, the full moon lit up the dark canvas of blackness like a beacon of light together with the tons and tons of flaming balls of gas.

The moon's really beautiful, isn't it?

"When the world is no more,

The moon is all we'll see~

I'll ask you to fly away with me…

Until the stars all fall down,

They empty from the sky

But I don't mind…"

I smiled at Yuu's bewildered expression, his blue eyes holding an unreadable emotion, but I can see the warmth in those oceanic depths, his pale skin almost seemed to be translucent with the moonlight shining down at us making him look younger, smaller than what I've always seen him as.

"If you're with me, then everything's… alright…"

After finishing the song, Yuu had a contemplative look in his face.

"Ahhh… do you n-not like it?" I looked away from him, suddenly feeling embarrassed for threatening him to essentially listening to a song from a game I've played and cried over as a kid. I probably mistranslated the lyrics or something… Oh! Oh God!

I felt my face heat up with mortification after discovering something.

I got the pronouns all mixed up! Who even does that?! Ahk! Forget it, let's just call it as creative license and be done with it besides the description of the girl (River) fits Yuu more than I do!

"—Osen-chan, Osen-chan!"

"Y-yes?"

"Don't worry now, I like it. It was beautiful."

I blinked at the small upturn of pale lips and I smiled wider this time and I hope it properly conveyed what I felt right now.

"Want to hear the rest of it?"

"I wouldn't mind at all."

His eyes were still dead though.

*-*-*-*-*

Everything was still going fine.

Which was a miracle on itself, but I guess it was Mistress Fate's way of giving us a break from all the crap and misfortune we've gathered. Yuu and I are doing just fine surviving through the woods by ourselves, but I'm still waiting for the other figurative bombshell to just drop on our laps and explode at our faces.

But right now, I need to think positively. Much needed optimism now that Yuu— who had always been the optimistic one from our duo despite appearances— is now down in the dumps. It's my turn to lift up the mood in this dreary walk of doom in the probable Forest of Absolute Death. And yes, it all needs Capitalization with a Capital C because Kermit knows is it darn obvious. Hearing the creepy crawlers everywhere and all the wild beasts that's lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right opportunity to pounce on us fleshy young children makes me want to vomit in sheer terror.

Wait, that thought was negative... I need happier thoughts, think of that green singing frog puppet getting burned into ashes and deleted to the minds of young children, think of mascots and clowns never getting invented, of those death traps that they called 'Fun' Rides are none existent in this world, that's all good things Sen, all great things. And that sleek, sleek grand piano with the most melodious of tones that you might... not be able to play again... ever.

It seems like my young traitorous pessimistic mind keeps getting to me, my brain was just not wired to be filled with rainbows and ponies and sparkly vomit. Dear Pinkamena Diane Pie, how do you do it?

Not only that, there is no internet here and you're acting like a premature adult with a constant fear with her own shadow. I mean, you're so pathetic and useless. So useless that you can't even die properly and ends up getting reincarnated as a big mistak—

"Argggggghhh.... JUST SHUT UP BRAIN!" I cried out, pulling on my unbound hair with my eyes closed.

Yuu felt amused and weirded out, the sound of waves splashing playfully at the sandy shores.

"What's wrong Osen-chan?" He asked from ahead, not even bothering to look back.

"Nothing's wrong. Everything is peachy keen. All is swell as an orange Orange and ripe as a red Apple. Everything is fine, not that you can hear the devils on tiny legs crawling about everywhere and the local wild life sniffing at us like a demented creepy old perv. Everything is absolutely dandy— are you laughing at me?!"

With no inflection in his voice whatsoever, the boy with ocean eyes replied, taking his time to turn back to simply say, "No."

I can hear the amusement clearly coming from the most inner part of the brat's heart. What a little annoyance.

"Oh, really now?"

"Yes really."

"Then why are you smirking? I'm not blind, I saw your lips twitch upwards for a nanometer so don't you dare try to deny it!"

The brat had the gall to ignore me.

"Hey, don't you ignore me! Hey Yuu! HEY LITTLE ASS—! Oomph..."

Where the hell did this root came from?! I swear this forest is trying to kill me! Maybe a g-g-ghost tried to trip—

"Pfftt..." A muffled noise came from ahead.

I didn't bother to look up, knowing fully well who it was. The little assjerk is laughing for the first time after three days of strained smiles, I'll let him have his fun for now.

For now.

"A-are you okay?" His voice was wobbly from laughing, the sloshing playful waves of the ocean was a great reprieve from its stillness. I didn't answer.

"Here, let me help you."

His hand hovered in my peripheral vision, slowly, I reached out a hand towards it.

"You should be more carefu— ah."

Then it was my time to laugh my ass off, the look of surprise in his face was precious. I did say that he will pay for his jerkaiser ways. Yuu was now in solid ground, eating damp old leaves and mud, looking as put out as he could get with a bland poker face.

"Ahahahahahahahahahaha!"

I didn't pick myself up from the rather comfortable lying position, my voice echoing within the forest. It was freeing to laugh like this again after the whole tragedy of a legit monster thrashing our lives and I can confirm that Yuu felt the same.

"Why did you do that?" The question was dry and as flat as Yuu's unimpressed face, but the shine in his eyes betrayed it.

It only served me another bout of laughter.

"Ahahahahaha! You're face, ahahaha... pfft... you should've seen it! It was ahaha glorious! You're just all 'ah' afterwards, what kind of surprised vocal expression is that?! I didn't know you could even make that face!" I continued laughing—cackling actually—until a muddy hand introduced itself to my face.

It was Giyuu's turn to laugh. It wasn't loud or boisterous like Daiki-ojiichan's nor was it bell-like and breezy like Kaa-san's. It was more of a chuckle really, light and quiet much like the ocean during a windy but fine weather.

The sound was a welcome one despite it being on my expense, I felt considerably lighter, some weight falling off my chest. My eyes teared up reflexively at the sudden influx of warm emotions, but I held it back and grinned instead. It was wide and almost painful; I was just so happy at this moment.

(I hope it continues to be like this.)

Taking a fistful of mud with my tiny hands, I hurled myself towards his laughing form, smearing it on his face and his clothes cackling all the while.

He went quiet once again, surprised for some reason. Then his eyes gleamed with mischief.

I didn't wait for him to get his plans into action and started hauling serious ass. Shrieks of joy leaving my lips as I heard him follow in my heels with a war cry.

...

The impromptu laundry day was so worth it, I've never seen Yuu so happy since that day.

Maybe, I'm not too bad at the cheering up gig, I just need to fine tune it. Who knew that I can be a joy-bringer for once.

His eyes finally had some life in them now, I would just need to work harder for it.

*-*-*-*-*

Whoever directed those magical pony movies where everything about their traveling was a-okay needs to get their heads checked or at least gets a kick in the groin. It must be someone who sleeps with fantastic dreams or just someone with a really large imagination. Dora the explorer got nothing on this.

(Or maybe just plain high on something, I don't judge.)

Why can't I have a yellow sidewalk just like Dorothy? At least her path was relatively safe, questionable destination aside.

Because the hell was this traveling journey, a one great slide on a magical sparkly rainbow.

In other words, it all went from 'we are walking in the woods alone with just a single knife for protection' to 'I think someone is following us so we better hurry' and finally into 'oh shit, there is someone following us and possibly not some random village huntsman who's willing to help us so we better friggin' run' which escalated up to this point.

By this point, I meant that—TAE, tae, tae, tae, tae! Muntik na ko dun ah! Aba Ginoong Maria, Napupuno ka ng grasya—

I let out a squeak when my foot almost slipped on a particularly moss ridden rock of the cliff side, my eyes clenching shut once I caught a glimpse of the dark, dark hole below me where I could hear rushing water at a great distance. I could probably drown in it if I lose my footing again.

―Ang Panginoon ay sumasainyo bah! Fudge it! Why am I even bothering to pray a Filipino translated Hail Mary at this point when I should be focusing on—

"Kyaaa!" My foot slipped again slightly, but I managed to regain footing at the last minute.

Why am I here you ask?

Well, that's because ROA (Random Omnipotent Asshole) decided to stroke my bad luck once again for cursing his sacred name.

Divine retribution or so they say.

I glared up at the sky for the rain that had drenched me oh so thoroughly. It was cold, I was shivering and most certainly didn't want to be in this place any longer. I forced away the reflexive tears from my eyes that were the testament to my frustration in my current situation. Yuu was at the top of this cliff and that's about the only good thing going for me in the universe right at this moment.

It was a good thing that the masked old guy—who had been following us—had taken hold of him before he made the mistake to step back up fearfully to thin air. The bad thing is that the old guy didn't manage to do the same for me and I almost fell to my death.

Old guy sounded regretful and panicked at that moment and if my dumb self didn't panic at the thought of being followed, I would have recognized that he doesn't mean us any harm, if anything, he sounds concerned about us two children wandering in the woods with no adult supervision.

(If only I wasn't such an idiot.)

Luckily, there was a thick slab of rock sticking out meters below me and I painfully landed there. Who knew that rolling over when landing on a great height to lessen damage was actually true? Thank you self for remembering unnecessary movie facts.

My knees and hands were scraped and I think my left ankle was sprained and so was my left wrist—I favored my left when I landed in a quasi-cat-like manner, to avoid my right side for my favored arm—my forehead was bleeding sluggishly but it wasn't anything major. The pained anguish cry that followed my descent was the scariest thing ever and not the fall and the pain I'm feeling right now.

It was Yuu, and he was wailing and cursing obscenities about everything including himself. It was unforgivable to hear him say those depreciating words, of how lowly he thought he was, how useless he thought he was, of how he should've been the one to fall. But to me, he was none of those aforementioned two, and I most certainly do not want to see him fall off a cliff.

He was nothing less than a superb bestest best friend I could ever wish for.

I tried to yell back at him to shut up, come help me and stop saying those stupid reasons, how he was the bestest best friend ever, but all my words were swallowed by the sound of the thudding rain and the roaring thunder.

So that's the reason why I'm here.

Drenched to the bone, with a smarting ankle and wrist, clinging onto an icky rock and desperately trying to climb back up.

I should have known that it wasn't just some creepy guy.

Great, now Yuu's gonna be all depressed and he only have some random questionable good samaritan old guy wearing a tengu mask as company.

My vision was clouding over and the rock I'm holding seemed to sway in place but just as I was about to lose consciousness something grabbed hold of me.

Then I knew nothing else.

*-*-*-*-*

Giyuu was beyond disappointed with himself.

He was a failure of a protector and now his only friend is suffering for it.

Looking down at her now, fair skin now startlingly pale and clammy, the apples of her rounded cheeks flushed from the fever that was currently taking hold of her. Making her seem all the more fragile.

(No, his friend isn't a fragile creature no matter how cowardly she is, she's sturdy, hardier than he could ever hope to be because how could someone still smile that brightly despite everything?)

Her raven hair was unbound by the hat that she loves so much, but a white bondage was there instead, her hair curled at her cheeks and if it wasn't for the situation, he would have thought it was cute.

God, Senritsu just turned three a month before the tragedy and now, here she was, bedridden because she slipped into a cliff in the pouring rain and all of it was because Giyuu had been careless.

She must've been so afraid, so frightened when she dropped in the open air and only to land harshly on some rock – and Giyuu was glad that she landed not too far down, he couldn't bring himself to think that she free fell onto the rushing river below and… dying. She must've been so scared while struggling to climb up with an injured wrist and ankle, with her hands and knees scraped and forehead bleeding.

She must've been crying a river all through that while he was safe and just screaming helplessly for something to happen.

He is a sorry excuse of a friend for putting her in such a situation, and looking at Senritsu right now, how small she looks on the fairly large futon made his heart clench even further because how could he have forgotten?

Senritsu just acts so much like an adult that he sometimes forgets that she's only three, barely out of her babyhood. Giyuu hadn't been protecting her at all but the other way around, she's been protecting him, taking care of him and cheering him up, making him smile again.

Giyuu thought that he would have lost the ability to smile but he was dead wrong on that regard, she even made him laugh! Giyuu wonders what would become of him if he wasn't a friend of hers. Just thinking about it makes his stomach churn unpleasantly, his head to swim in a dark place and his heart to beat rapidly in his throat.

(Senritsu's too kind, too bright, too warm and too much than what anyone could ever hope for as a friend and Giyuu's too much of a lucky bastard to have made her as a friend.)

He can't imagine a life without Senritsu on his side, it would be dark, monochrome and without a sound. Suzuran-san had named her daughter perfectly for Senritsu really brings up the melody, making everything livelier, brighter and meaningful.

"Tomioka-san, it's time to eat."

A voice came from behind him and Giyuu didn't even turn to acknowledge the boy. Senritsu is infinitely much more important than him.

There was a scoff, a rustle of clothes and a presence beside him when the boy sat close to him.

"You know, she won't be happy if she learns that you're starving yourself." Giyuu inwardly thinks that he's right but he is sure that his friend—should he even consider himself as one?—would understand the thought of punishing himself for being an incompetent protector and friend.

"Oi," a hand grabs Giyuu's shoulder but he still resolutely ignores the other's presence. "You won't be doing her any good by sitting here. She would most likely worry about you when she sees you like this and as a real man, one shouldn't worry a woman like this. Specially one who is ill and fragile."

He's wrong.

Giyuu continued to ignore him but there's a small crack in his resolve. Clearly, this boy doesn't know Senritsu very well and how dare he assume that he knows Senritsu more than Giyuu when Giyuu is her friend. He fisted the fabric of his hakama, trying not to lash out at this boy who dared to claim how Senritsu would act.

Giyuu succeeds at calming himself because he had experience in holding back anger from the past few days. He can't afford to lash out now because what if he wakes Senritsu up when she needs to rest, that wouldn't be good, not good at all.

So Giyuu withheld his tongue, placed his cool mask on and stared ahead like he hadn't heard anything, like he didn't want to throttle the boy beside him.

There was a long sigh. "Come on now, if you can't do it for yourself then at least do it for her. Yes she needs you but not all the time."

See. Giyuu scoffs at the boy's cluelessness. He doesn't know how Osen-chan acts around, screaming after waking up in unknown places.

"I assure you that I would look after her when you eat and if you want, I can call Urokodaki-san to watch over her."

No, calling the old man would scare her more. If she wakes up and sees the mask there's no guarantee that she wouldn't react violently.

Giyuu was still angry with the man for scaring the daylights out of them even if he meant well. It was his fault that Senritsu is lying in bed right now.

"Tomioka-san, I know that it's hard but you need to eat someth—"

"And how would you know what I really need?" Giyuu blurted out because he can't stay quiet anymore as this boy continued to claim things that he doesn't know off.

"Why do you assume that she would act like that when you don't know her?" There's an unsaid 'and I do'.

Giyuu turned his head to glare at the peach haired boy. "How can you say that's what she would've liked when you clearly don't know her?" He bit out, lips turning down to show his anger, his displeasure at the mere thought of the question because this boy doesn't know Senritsu at all.

The boy—Sabito or was it Sahito?—stared at him, lavender eyes, that if Sen were to see she would praise how unique and beautiful it was, she had done the same to him, leaving him blushing and stuttering as she praised that his eyes were the bluest of blues.

"She's... really important to you."

Giyuu turns back to the sleeping form of his friend and grabs the tiny uninjured hand laying on the futon, again, he marvels at how small they are compared to his own.

"Of course she is." She's the only one he has left.

"I didn't mean to act as if I know what you need nor assume what the little lady would want and like. I only meant to assure you and for you to consider your health. How else would you greet her with energy if you don't eat?" From the corner of his eyes, Sabito gave him a smile that stretched the painful looking scar on his right cheek, it still looked fresh, maybe a few months old.

Maybe he's right.

Giyuu watched Senritsu's eyebrows pinching together and her mouth moving to utter "Yuu..."

Squeezing the tiny hand in his slightly, he gave Senritsu a slight smile when amber eyes fluttered open. "I'm here, Osen-chan."

"I know. Just eat already so that I can sleep." Her words stunned him. "I'll be here, I'm not going anywhere." For added effect the girl pouted cutely though Giyuu thinks that it was supposed to be a disapproving frown.

"He's right you know, I won't be happy if you collapse." And with a pointed look from her slightly glassy eyes he folded.

With a sigh, Giyuu got up and before walking out of the room he eyed the peach haired boy that was still sitting beside his friend.

"Please take care of her." Giyuu didn't go until he got any affirmation and he did.

"I will."

Nodding slightly, Giyuu was out the door as he stepped out to the living room that also acts as a kitchen and a dining room, behind him he could make out their conversation from the thin door.

"Thank you for forcing him to eat ahm..."

"Sabito."

"Thank you, Sabito-san, I know Yuu can be a little bit standoffish but he's a good person, he's just really angry right now after everything that happened."

There was a boyish laugh. "Yes I understand, he cares for you greatly and I can see why, you're a great friend to him Osen-chan."

Giyuu can almost picture the blush spreading on his friend's cheeks, she'd always been like that when she gets complimented.

"W-w-what are you saying?! I'm nothing great at all! I'm just a little c-coward who's only talent is singing! And can I also say that your eyes are beautiful! They're like the sky when it's about to rain, just like the sound of your heart, i-i-it's very soothing!"

...

"...I guess so." Sabito gave an almost inaudible reply.

"Wait... are you blushing? That's seriously cute."

"N-no I'm not! You're the one who's blushing and cute here! And a man can't be cute!"

"C-can too! I'm not cute, I'm ugly. Besides, I knew a bear of a man that acts like a giggling housewife sometimes and it's cute in a horrifying way."

A tinge of sadness laced that reply, Giyuu's mind flashing to a memory of Daiki giggling at Senritsu's pinched face. It was quite a disturbing sight.

"It seems like they're getting along swimmingly."

A voice came from behind Giyuu bringing him out of the memory.

"Hn. Osen-chan has always been good with people even if she says otherwise."

A sparkle entered Giyuu's eyes that the older man took note of. It was a vast improvement to the hollow eyes that doesn't need to belong to a child.

"Ah, Urokodaki-san?" Giyuu stopped just before the masked man.

Urokodaki tilted his head, urging him to continue. "Yes Tomioka-kun?"

Giyuu bowed at the waist, his hands clenching his hakama as he heard the giggle from the other room. It filled him with an urgent duty, fed his determination and strengthened his resolve to go with his decision.

He needs to protect it, to protect that smile and laughter.

—

"From now on we're friends! Believe it!"

"Believe it?"

"Oh you wouldn't get it even if I tell you."

—

He needs to protect that, after all he promised that he would protect her.

"Urokodaki-san I'm very grateful that you saved Osen-chan and please, accept me as your student." Giyuu said firmly, for the few days that he'd been staying with the old man and his ward, Giyuu had noticed that Sabito was training with a wooden sword.

The other boy had told him that he was training to protect other people from something sinister, the beings that live off of human flesh, the ones who destroyed his and Senritsu's family.

The creatures that are called Demons.

It was quiet for a moment, the man mulling over his words. "And why would you want to become one?" Finally the man asked in a grave tone.

Taking the hint, Giyuu straightened up and looked directly at the mask's eyeholes, his blue eyes filled with determination. "I want to learn how to protect humans from those creatures that destroyed our family. I want to become your student to honor the memory of my sister's death and fulfill the promise that I made to her, that I would live and find happiness. And finally, I want to become your student to protect my friend." Giyuu didn't let up with his stare, the annoyingly eerie tengu mask serving the purpose of hiding Urokodaki's face from Giyuu, which makes guessing his reactions harder.

The tense silence was only broken when the old man nodded in acknowledgement. "I will test you, be prepared."

Giyuu could only nod gratefully and got back to his earlier ordeal. He wouldn't want to hear Senritsu screech when she learns that he still hadn't eaten lunch.

*-*-*-*-*

"So you're saying that we should call you Zenitsu from now on?" Sabito spoke to me as if he's unsure whether I'm going crazy or just plain crazy.

I gave him a glare for his unneeded efforts, but it's hard with the bandage wrapped around my head.

"Yes, I'm sure of it. If I'm going to pose as a boy, I would need a boy's name. Plus, Zenitsu sounds close to Senritsu so I can respond immediately. You guys better start calling me that other than Osen-chan. Though Zen would probably do." Ironically, I am not close to being 'Zen'. Hysterical and Paranoid should fit me more but does are not nameable names.

Now it was Yuu's turn to give me he's incredulous look, which only consists of slightly pinched eyebrows and his taut left cheek. "Why now? We're in the mountain and no-one else is here besides us."

"That's the point Yuu! What if we have to go down this mountain and you guys slip! I'll be the little boy who has a girly name!"

I heard a small rumble coming from the old man in a weird tengu mask, he's sound was like that a steady stream of a river. Somehow, all of their sounds are associated with the sound of water, makes me wonder what my sound is.

"And why would you need to disguise yourself as a boy Senritsu-chan?"

"Because it's dangerous for young girls in this era, especially for someone as small and dumb as me! I could get whisked away by a stranger if they managed to convince me to come with them!"

Silence.

"... and would you let yourself be convinced by a stranger?"

"Of course not Tengu-jiji, I don't know them! My ears could detect whether they are lying or not."

"I see." The amusement of the old man is palpable, too bad I can't see his actual reaction.

A large warm hand came on top of my head and for a brief moment I felt like Daiki-ojiichan was messing with my hair again.

I miss them.

"Okay then, Zenitsu-kun it is." The old man relented. "Though I don't think that you're dumb Zenitsu-kun, I think that you're really smart for your age."

"Urokodaki-san you're going to just encourage it?"

Yuu only gave the man a raised eyebrow to convey his unspoken words.

"Why not? It's a good exercise to be cautious, you should learn a thing or two from Zenitsu-kun."

My already heated cheeks from the fever warmed even further at the compliments. "I-I'm not that smart you know, K-Kaa-san was just a great teacher and I'm just paranoid n-nothing great."

"She just turned three a month ago." Yuu added with a hint of pride making me heat up even further and it's got nothing to the fever.

The scarred boy gave me an awed look, the kind that I hadn't seen since my last life, an awed look which was always present at the end of my piano recitals. "Wow really? You talk really well for your age and you don't even act like a bratty one."

"Sabito-kun." There's a hint of warning on the man's raspy voice.

"But It's true Urokodaki-san, all the other kids her age are a bunch of brats, snot-nosed brats who does nothing but cry." Ouch. That hit exactly right home.

"I don't know about you guys but for a heads up, I'm a certified coward and a crybaby."

At this, Sabito blinked at me, confusion on his face. "Really? But I've heard that you handled yourself pretty well for someone who slipped on a cliff."

Now that I thought of it, I didn't even cry much during that time. Or maybe that's just the rain that was too heavy that I can't even tell if I'm crying or not. "That's different Sabito-san, I was more worried about Yuu's sanity than my own well being back there and oh, that reminds me." I sat up ever so slowly, but my vision still blurred for a second and thankfully Yuu was there to steady me.

And the fact that he made himself reachable was a blessing.

I gave Yuu the best stink eye I could give with the bandage wrapped around my head. Just thinking about all the bad things he said about himself made me feel like my insides were being churned upwards and its got nothing on the memory of free falling off a cliff.

My eyes burned yet again, a familiar feeling when I'm trying to hold back tears from spilling.

"Osen-chan?" Yuu said worriedly taking my hands in his, I didn't even realized that they were shaking. The distinct sound of worry was coming all over the place and I looked at the other two unfamiliar people moving closer to my bed.

"You..." My voice came out shaky and garbled. I guess it's about time that I break down at some point. I knew that it would come one way or another, I just don't deal with built up stress pretty well.

Yuu squeezed my hands reassuringly. "Yes Osen-chan?"

The dam that is me broke down.

"Don't you ever say those t-things about YOURSELF EVER AGAIN!" I cried out, tears spilling from my eyes like a waterfall as I punched his chest over and over again, the pain on my injured hand making me cry harder for stupidly using it for hitting my dumb self-hating friend. He doesn't even try to pretend that it hurt him.

How dare he be unhurt of my useless attacks!

"What?"

How dare he be clueless!

"Don't use that hand, you're still hurt."

How dare he be so calm when I'm crying while snot dripped on my face!

"Ya think I hadn't heard all of the things that ya said when I fell?! W-well," I sniffled pitifully, snot dripping from my nose. "You're wrong dumbass! I heard everything loud and clear!"

The blue eyed boy seemed surprise for the sudden turn of events and he's leaning away when I got really close to him. Probably the snot.

"Why would you say that huh?!" I hit his arm with my uninjured hand making him flinch slightly.

"Y-you're not weak! Neither are you bad company or a lousy protector or, or any of those other filth you said!"

I grabbed both of his shoulders and started shaking him. "A-and don't you ever ever EVER say that you're the worst friend because you," I jabbed a finger repeatedly to his forehead, maybe if I poked it enough he would finally get it "Tomioka Giyuu are the greatest bestest friend that a cowardly ugly loser of a little girl could ever ask for and you're not allowed to say that you want to die either b-because if you're gone what will ever happen to me I'll be so sad that I might actually die again and I can't just—"

I came crushing down to a small chest before I could even finish up my tirade of jumbled words. Still hiccuping and snot probably sticking to the red yukata that Yuu loves.

I'm a mess and I can't help it.

This was probably my largest break down since coming here. I didn't get to properly mourn the dead when I was too busy thinking about our survival. Didn't get to properly mourn when I was shot by my sperm donor, leaving Mama behind, leaving some parts of me behind.

(Maybe this is my very own version of personal hell that everyone is prattling about in what they call 'limbo'. But I swear that I've always been good, well, mostly good. Sacrificing myself for my Mama's life was good right? Even if my only intentions was that so I wasn't the one getting left behind.)

I guess I wasn't really done with my grieving. Or maybe I wouldn't be able to move pass grieving at all. I'm just so incompetent that I can't even move on.

So incompetent that I can't even die properly.

Maybe Billie Eilish was right, all the good girls do go to hell.

"You... y-you can't go. P-please don't say those words again..." I clutched at him desperately, looking directly at his eyes. Was it my blurry vision or is he crying too?

I'm just a pathetic coward, I can't live on my own.

"I-I love you ya know... y-you're the only one left of my f-family. I don't... I don't think I could take another heartbreak again." My voice broke by the end of it, tears still leaking and my snot as disgusting as it sounds, was still there, dripping.

So you were saying Sabito-san? You shouldn't have judge quickly.

Yuu grabbed my cheek, carefully wiping my face with a wash cloth with his shaking hand.

"Senritsu... I'm sorry." Yuu spoke, his voice faltering. Oddly enough the sound of his heart sounded like the calm ocean again like how it was before.

"Ish that... ISH THAET AHL YA GUANNA SHAY PHUNK?! SHORRY?! JUSH SHORRY?!"

How dare he be still cool while apologizing! How dare he convince me to forgive him by just saying sorry!

It seems like Yuu was done hearing me warble words because what he said next stunned me.

"I wasn't t-thinking clearly back then, I-I thought I've lost YOU! I thought I've lost someone again after Nee-san just died because of those, those abominations ate her! And just like that time, I felt so helpless... so pathetic, so angry and weak and, and alone."

His ocean eyes dimmed for a moment but when he blinked and opened them again they became more vivid, fiercer and filled with determination on those beautiful blue depths and what something like forever ago, he smiled.

Not just the small quirk of his lips nor a faint smirk but a full blown smile that finally reached his eyes, his pearly white teeth slightly visible.

You know, it's unfair how even if he's crying he still managed to look cute while doing it and I'm the little girl here who's supposed to be cuter. I must look like a wheezing chihuahua with a frothing mouth beside this angel.

How dare he to look cute even while crying!

"But you're not gone. You're still here, still alive and noisy and bright and still warm. Still warm and here with me." Tears fell from his eyes but he still continued and I watched on transfixed.

"And you've always been like that, warm and bright and so unbelievablely kind that you let others walk all over you. Which was frustrating 'cause you don't deserve any of that and what's more frustrating is how you think about yourself. You're not dumb, ugly or useless, you're more than that! Aren't you being hypocritical that I can't call names about myself when you do it so often?"

I visibly winced at that.

"You're really smart or maybe even a genius since you're three and you can already read more kanji than I do, speak larger words than I do and know a lot of things more than I do. So, you're not allowed to call yourself dumb! Not at all, and if you do I'm going to be upset." Yuu if only you know, I only know shit because of a cheat code called 'Reincarnation'.

Also, I didn't know that he can be so talkative. It's so not him, maybe he's the one having a fever.

"You're not ugly either, I think your eyebrows are really cute and it brings out your eyes that are really beautiful, they're like stars so bright, so warm and you just light up everything when you smile. I, I think you are..." a small blush appeared on his face while mine probably resembled a red light bulb. I can feel my face heating up, down to my neck and down to my stomach where it sat pleasantly.

"I think you're prettier than Kiyo-chan or Mimi-chan or the other girls in the village and I think you're gonna grow up just as beautiful as Suzuran-san or even more and most importantly," He took me by the shoulders glaring at me with such intensity. My face was really hot, still splotchy with tear tracks, but this boy still said all that without hesitation, like he believed all of that.

(His heartbeat confirms that thought.)

"YOU, are not useless. You're the reason why I can still smile. You ground me, you taught me a lot of things that I don't understand and most importantly," his glare faded into a softer look. "You're a friend, a family that gives me a reason to keep going after losing everything."

He placed his warm hand on my cheek, thumb brushing the tears that was threatening to fall again. I've never seen him like this before, his ocean eyes staring at me with warmth and so much life that it made me feel giddy to see them like that. No more dead fish eyes for me.

"I never really got to thank you hadn't I? For being my friend, no, my best friend after all this time. So," His face morphed into seriousness then he bowed, giving me a proper dogeza, his face almost touching the wooden floorboards. I could only gape unattractively.

"I, Tomioka Giyuu, humbly thanks you Agatsuma Senritsu for being my best friend."

It only took me a second but when he lifted his head I slammed into him with a hug (which he returned) my waterworks returning in waves while I grinned like a loon, but I couldn't bring myself to care of how I looked right now, all that matters was showing how much I love my giant dork of a friend. I felt unimaginably warm and tingly all over, a familiar feeling that associates to the people important to me.

"I-Idiot! Friends don't have to thank each other but, w-wow Yuu, I didn't know you have it in you to say all of that in sentences that are more than ten words each. You're getting better at expressing yourself."

"Hn. Enjoy it while it lasts."

"Ahahaha, I sure will. Guess you're gonna go back to monosyllabic responses now ha?"

"Hn."

It was quiet and peaceful as I listened to the calm ocean that is my friend that I almost forgot about the others in the room. The rain and the steady rushing river.

Glancing at the corner of my eyes, I saw Sabito gave a kind smile, but in his eyes were slight envy as well as relief. The old man's tense shoulders are now relaxed, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I guess you're not really kidding about the crybaby part and being a snot-nosed brat."

"You bet I am." My reply was followed by a yawn and my eyes were slightly drooping down, tiredness and my over all health making itself known.

I was physically, mentally and emotionally drained and my three year old body was starting to shut down and letting me know that I better start resting again.

"You should rest now or your fever won't go down."

I opened my eyes slightly to weakly glare at Yuu. "I know that," a yawn broke out from me again "j-just don't leave yet okay? Or I won't..." my eyes starting to close and finding that I don't mind sleeping in Yuu's arms and hearing his heartbeat this close.

"I won' sing you' fav'rite song again..."

For once, after all the incident I fell asleep with no nightmares to bother me, it was only me and the peaceful ocean.

*-*-*-*-*

Omake: The Ocean and the Rain (5 years later)

"Hey Yuu, I have something to show you." The peach haired boy grinned from ear to ear, a slight air of smugness in his voice as he brandished a simple handmade lavender colored hair tie with five attached thin clear strings—which was very sturdy despite appearances—that were looped in clear blue beads—but it looked more like a crystal—that were shaped like a raindrop.

Giyuu only gave him a raised eyebrow.

Sabito huffed at his friend's typical quiet nature but he had come to get used to it after all the years of being in the same roof and studying under the same mentor.

"It came with the letter Zen-chan addressed to me, he said it was to keep my hair out of my face while training. Isn't he thoughtful?" With that said, Sabito gathered his shoulder length hair at the top of his skull, tying it tightly with his newly given present.

Satisfied with the result, Sabito tilted his head slightly to the left, making the beads rustle, catching the sun with its clear color. The scarred boy lifted an eyebrow at Giyuu as if to say 'and where is yours?'

If Giyuu was one to roll his eyes he would have rolled it at the other boy's competitive streak when it comes to Senritsu's— sorry, Zenitsu's—affection.

(Not that Giyuu was any better when he was eight and wants his little friend's affection all to himself.)

Without replying, Giyuu turned his head to the side and pointed at his tied hair were a vivid blue hair tie with ruffled white silk spiraling around it as it sat on the base of his neck. But unlike Sabito were it had beads, Giyuu's looked simple but if you looked closer it wasn't just plain blue either, it was banded in varying shades of blue. All in all it looked like a ripple of water was encircling Giyuu's spiky hair and was keeping it together.

"He gave it to me a week ago." At his casual reply, Sabito couldn't help but frown at him.

His were given a week earlier than mine.

Sabito knows that Giyuu didn't mean to be condescending with his answer and he knew how his friend had a problem with expressing himself with words but Sabito just couldn't help but get irritated nonetheless.

...

When Urokodaki finally got back from his trip to the village for some fresh fruits and vegetables, he immediately noted the tension between his students and he had a suspicion on what it was about.

The two were having one of their staring match once again, the only barrier between them is the low wooden table were they sat in front of the other. Giyuu with his placid face and dull ocean eyes that gave away nothing and Sabito with his tense shoulders and furrowed brows.

Good thing Urokodaki was wearing a mask or else they would have seen that he was rolling his eyes in exasperation.

The two had become close after five years under his tutelage, growing together, bonding over shared bruises and training together to become demon slayers with their goal to protect humans.

The only reason that Giyuu and Sabito could ever have an argument was if it's about a certain crossdressing sweet kind girl with low self-esteem. Though Urokodaki could admit that the girl was an adorable thing and it would be amusing to see when the girl grows up, sees someone as special or when boys takes interest of her.

Urokodaki Sakonji does not doubt the possibility of the latter, anyone would be enthralled by such a kind strong girl with cuteness wrapped around her like a beautiful ribbon.

Giyuu and Sabito would be reduced into mad guard dogs protecting their precious little owner from what they see as a threat.

Amusing really and Urokodaki was there to watch all of it.

"I'm home."

Reflexively, the boys replied without breaking the stare off. "Welcome home."

Urokodaki placed the produce not so subtly between them and then he proceeded to remove his long scarf that he used as a hood in his travel. It was a dark blue handmade knitted scarf with a wave pattern that was a lighter shade of blue, the scarf was relatively new and wasn't the old man's go to bandanna which peaked Sabito's interest.

"You bought a new scarf?"

The old man folded the soft scarf with great care with his callused hands. "No, it was given to me as a gift."

"From who?" Giyuu asked with a flat tone but the former pillar could smell the suspicion coming from him.

Urokodaki inwardly chuckled at this, his disciples are really amusing when it comes to their youngest friend.

He placed the scarf on the table running his fingers across it, marveling its softness and how well made it was. Zenitsu really had a great knack when it comes to any kind of needlework and from what Urokodaki heard from the girl and Giyuu, Zenitsu's mother was a great seamstress and a weaver, the one who've made Zenitsu's cherished bandanna.

"From Zenitsu-kun, I received it two weeks ago when he visited."

Silence.

Then the familiar scent of jealousy, irritation and anger bombarded Urokodaki's nose no doubt coming from the two boys that are now glaring daggers at him. The old former pillar didn't held back his amused chuckle this time.