It Was A Dream

It was a dream.

"Diego! Diego I can't feel my legs!" Cynthia cried in my arms as I stared at her dismembered legs.

It was a dream.

"Take the kid and fucking run!" Colt, my first party leader, yelled as Tyla grabbed me with her one remaining arm. I reached out and screamed as Colt was ambushed by the unexpected horde of ghouls.

It was a dream.

"Hey," Arthur said as he smiled at me softly, throwing his arm over my shoulders once he'd made it across the busy guild's food hall. 

He was the only other teenage boy in our adventurer's guild and had been my first friend. 

He'd been the first boy I'd ever kissed.

The memory shifted to when I was in a burning forest. I was on my knees and surrounded by the dead bodies of several griffins. My fists were battered, the flesh practically falling from the bone.

I was crying. I was holding Arthur's dismembered head, the only thing left of his body, and crying silently as the forest burned around me.

It was a fucking nightmare.

I woke up gasping for air, scrambling to grab onto something. Just anything. To hold, to hold me. To calm my rapidly beating heart and to help me breathe.

I fell off the sleeping mat and tried standing up, only to feel my weak legs give way. I was about to fall to my knees but two strong hands held me up.

My mind wasn't right. Everything looked different, everything looks like back then. It was like I was back in that cursed forest. And something was touching me.

I didn't know what was touching me, putting me back to sitting on the floor with my back to a hard surface.

All I saw was fire and burning trees and whatever was touching me had been given the face of Arthur.

My bones ached—The previous attack from the griffin must've broken my ribs. I need to find Healer Simon…No wait they'd eaten him too. 

The heat of the flames was permeating every inch of my body, the burns on my back leaving me gasping. The pain was so intense but nothing had hurt as much as watching my party be ripped to shreds.

Arthur didn't even have a chance.

But Arthur's here, isn't he? He's talking to me.

I wanted to speak but only broken sobs came out. I still couldn't breathe and I felt how wet my cheeks had gotten.

"Ar-Arth…thur," I managed to gasp out as I held 'his' face with my shaky hands, fingers broken and covered with blood.

'He' smiled at me, the same way he always did, but his body vanished and all I was holding was his severed head dripping blood.

My hands fell to my side and the head remained floating. I tried scurrying away because my fucking legs wouldn't stop shaking and I couldn't run from the burning forest.

"Diego."

His voice was echoing around me but it didn't sound like him. It sounded familiar but it wasn't Arthur's voice.

It was something warm, something velvety, something full of authority.

"Diego…Can I touch you?"

The voice got clearer and I remembered it. I remembered it but I couldn't get my brain to pinpoint that voice.

So I shook my head rapidly, wary about the warm voice. I wanted to close my eyes too, feeling sick from just seeing Arthur's head looming above me.

"Okay. I won't touch you. But can you breathe with me?"

"I…I can't…I can't bre-breathe. Fire."

"…Just try with me. Please. Just focus on my voice. Close your eyes, and focus on my voice."

I was scared. My chest ached and I thought I was going to pass out due to not being able to get air in. So against everything my screaming brain demanded, I did as the voice said.

"Good. Now count to five as you slowly take in a deep breath."

"B-but the f-f-fire."

"It's okay," the voice got warmer, which I didn't think was possible. "You're going to be okay. Let's try it. I'll count, we breath in. Ready?"

I gave the voice weak nod.

"In. 1, 2, 3, 4. That's good. Now out on the count of 5. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. You're doing great, Diego."

I wanted to vomit. My body felt like it was shutting down.

"Again. In. 1, 2, can you smell any smoke, 4."

No…There's no smoke.

"Out. 1, 2, 3, there's no smoke, right? 4, 5."

"In. 1, 2, you're in a forest with me, 3, 4."

"Out. 1, 2, 3, feel the leaves under your hands and you'll know they're not burnt, 4, 5."

The sounds of burning twigs and crackling trees faded bit by bit. The feeling of my body engulfed in heat dissipated as the voice guided me from the nightmare. I began to hear only the man's voice, with the sounds of rustling leaves in the background.

"You're coming back to me?"

I opened my eyes to see Marcellus kneeling in front of me, a leg's length away and an intensely sympathetic look on his face.

My blurry vision fixed itself slowly, and I realized where we were.

It was still nighttime and we were still within the forests of the hills. The fire had gone out and Marcellus was shirtless, for some reason.

I turned back to Marcellus as I ran my fingers through the dirt of the forest, still needing something to ground me.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, not sure what else to say. I hadn't had one of my episodes in front of someone in such a long time.

Marcellus slowly got closer to me, moving like he was dealing with a scared wild animal. 

I didn't stop him from doing so. Every cell in my body craved someone to touch me, get close enough to me. I needed that touch more than I needed anything in that moment.

He only stopped once he was sitting beside me, both of our backs to the tree.

He didn't say anything, he merely watched me and I watched him. My chest ached, my eyes stung and my embarrassment was at new heights. Of all people, he was the last person I wanted to ever see me like that.

I waited for him to ask. Most people usually did and their impression of him changed soon after. He wasn't going to get an answer from me if he asked. I already fucked up anything resembling a relationship with the man, I wasn't going to fuck it up even more.

Except he didn't ask. It was like he just knew I didn't want him to ask.

"You apologize for nothing, Diego," the nobleman said, raising his hand slowly to wipe my cheeks. "Never apologize for such a thing again."

I didn't want to argue, not when I was like that. So I nodded and without thinking, positioned myself to rest my head on his shoulder.

I was acting so weak and I didn't like it. I could've just pictured Colt laughing at me for being such a crybaby cuddler.

I was about to move away when Marcellus's arm moved to wrap around my shoulders, pulling me even closer.

"Sleep," he ordered gently, moving me to rest my head on his thighs as he stayed sitting up against the tree.

Is he going to stay like that for the rest of the night? Just for me?

And I was so rude to him too.

"N-no," I started as I tried to sit up but he started scratching the nape of my neck gently and I fell back down on his lap like the sap I was.

"I am well," Marcellus smiled down at me, continuing to stroke my hair and my eyelids became heavy again. "Rest now, Diego. I'll be here, so rest."

I wanted to respond but the way he was petting me was doing things to my foggy brain, only letting me say a gurgle of words as my eyes fell bit by bit.

As I was finally falling back to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder how someone as perfect as Marcellus could've existed.

I also had to wonder. Just exactly how did he know how to calm me down?