Chapter 1: It's Painful

Chapter 1

A man dazzling at the tree's in front of him as he lay back and kept his eyes open. He still can't forget the memories of his childhood with the passage of time. It's still indelible in his memories.

"Brother Reinier!" He was astounded by his brother. Reinier looked at Russell and sighed. By looking at his brother his heart is twinging. The intangible feelings of losing someone that's important in their life.

He wants to pity himself and Russel but can't make use of the situation. They are at a loss and the hole that they felt is nothing in view of the fact that they need to survive. Survive to escape the painful life in which he and his brother belong. They also want to move forward and one of the solutions is to exile to another place.

The house that their mother is in is already in the indebted hands. They don't have the choice but to use the savings of their deceased mother.

"Can we stay here brother?" Russel sat down and looked at his brother's face. He knows that his brother is in pain and he doesn't want to show it to him.

"I'm sorry, Russell but we can't stay here."

"I mean- we should stay here in the province and won't move to the City."

"I know what you felt Russell but before mother died. She told us to move to the City and find father." The pain throbs on his heart. The image of their mother appeared on his head. The time when their mother closed their eyes and smiled peacefully on her bed.

Maybe their mother wants to rest peacefully and also they promised to their mother that they will move to the City and find their father. The savings is enough to buy a house in the City; they just need to work and study.

"Brother, you broke up with him right? You two should come back. This is not the rea-"

"Cut it out Russell! Don't butt in on my problems."

"But brother, you love him! You should stay with him." The tears flow down on Reinier cheeks; he can't stop crying. He broke up with his boyfriend since his lover cheated on him because he needs to move out.

If only-

"Russell, it's fine okay!" He smiled and mopped his tears, he didn't want to cry and his decision was already final. They will move out in the province, live in the city and find their father. His heart doesn't matter.

"Snoop it out!" Reinier stood up and went to his room to pack his luggage. As soon as Reinier went to his room, Russell's tears flowed non-stop.

His brother sacrificed everything. His brother is at loss and yet he is protecting him. Ever since they were a child his brother sacrificed his wants and focus on his little brother.

"I need to correct everything." Russell whispered and wore his scuffs.

His brother Reinier's ex-boyfriend is their neighbor. Russel knocked on brother Clint's door.

"Brother Clint, opened the door!" He shouted while slamming the door.

As the door opens Russell feels agitated. He took a deep breath and looked eyes to eyes at brother Clint. "Brother Clint, we don't want to move. Please stop brother Reinier. He's just obliged to move out. Please, take my brother back."

He can see the pain in Brother Clint's eyes but he remains silent. "Please, brother Clint!"

Clint sighed and looked at his ex-lover little brother. "I cheated on him."

Russell bewildered on what brother Clint stated. How come that his brother Clint cheated on his brother Reinier?

"No, you're lying! You can't cheat on my brother. You have loved him since we were children. You can't cheat on him." Russell stops on what he's saying when he suddenly feels a grip on his hand.

"Stop it, Russell! I told you don't-"

"He didn't cheat on you right? Tell me that Brother Clint is making it!" Reinier bit his lips and looked at Clint.

"Can we talk, Reinier?" Reinier sighed and nodded.

"Wait us here and don't try to pry out Russell. It's our problem not yours." This is the first time he sees his brother mad at him. Russell nods and waits outside the door.

"Ahmm- I'm sorry. I didn't know that he would disturb you."

"It's fine! Do you really need to move? I'm sorry that I cheated on you. It's just- I'm drunk that time and I didn't know that I kissed that guy." Reinier looked down and gripped his arms. He doesn't want to cry in front of Clint.

"It's not just a kiss Clint and you know that." Silence covered the whole place; only their breath could be heard. That day Reinier decided to come back with Clint but he saw Clint with a man beside on his bed and they were naked.

"It's a mistake-'' Clint hugged Reinier tightly and put his chin on Reinier's shoulder. He doesn't want to let go of Reinier but he made a huge mistake. If he only holds himself this thing won't happen. He can still put his arms to Reinier. He can hold him anytime but because of that mistake he loses Reinier.

"Time heals me Clint as of now I can't forgive you." Reinier pushed Clint and looked at Clint's eyes.

"I do love you." Clint utters those words that keep Reinier heart's torment. He still can't believe that Clint cheated on him despite the alcohol. Clint shouldn't cheat on him.

"I also love you! But you betray me Clint. I'm sorry we need to go." He turns around and grabs the door knob but Clint trails him and kisses him forcefully.

"Clint, stop!" He pushed Clint but Clint is more powerful than him. Clint ripped his clothes and gripped his arms.

"Nghh… No, Clint!" He doesn't want to hate Clint anymore. But if he does this Reinier can't forgive Clint.

"Clint please stop!" Moan escaped on Reinier's mouth when Clint bit his nipple. Seems like Clint can't hear him. He can smell alcohol on Clint. He tried to push Clint but Clint pushed him on the sofa.

"S-stop!" He whispered but Clint won't listen to him. Reinier gasps when he feels Clint's hand on his pennis. He bit his lips. He wants to shout Russell's name but he doesn't want Russell to hate Clint. Russell loves Clint as a family.

"Hmmmp-" Clint covered a piece of clothes on his mouth and tied his hand. He moved and tried to kick Clint but it's not effective. Reinier closed his eyes when he felt Clint's finger on his butthole forcefully entered.

"Hmmmp-"

Oh God, please help me.

"Uhmmm-" his back arc when he cum. Clint forcefully turned Reinier and positioned himself. But stop when he looked at Reinier's in pain.

"I'm sorry!" Clint hugged Reinier tightly and cried. How come that he did this to Reinier? He can't forgive himself.

"I'm sorry Reinier! I'm sorry!" He untied Reinier's hand and removed the piece of clothes on Reinier's mouth.

"I don't want to hate you Clint. P-please stop!"

He got his clothes and wore them to Reinier. Clint hugged Reinier tightly and lightly kissed his palm. Reinier feels the love of Clint and regrets. He also know that Clint is not in the right state.

Maybe he's soft in terms of the people that he loves. He always understands Clint's feelings.

He stood up and opened the door knob and left Clint crying. He wants to comfort Clint that it's okay and he's just drunk but he can't. They are already in pain and he doesn't want to cause pain anymore. They need to let go. He can't also gripe about their toxic relationship.

"Brother Reinier!" He looked at his brother and smiled painfully before he walked inside their house.

Russell gazes on his brother's back. What happened? Why did my brother wear a different shirt?

Did I make a mistake? Is it my fault why the situation gets worse?

"Russell!" He heard his brother call his name.

"Brother-" he stopped when he saw the luggage in his brother's hand.

"Let's go!" Russell nods and keeps his mouth shut. This time he won't complain because of the looks of his brother. He really wants to move out as soon as possible.

Reinier washed his face and looked at the mirror in front of him. He can see how messed up he is. Some part of his neck is red. He doesn't have time to change his clothes. Reinier got his scarf and called his brother to go to the train station and leave the place immediately.

There's no reason to stay here. I don't want to be hurt and I don't want him to be hurt. This is the only reason why we need to seperate.

"Goodbye Clint, I love you!"

They already got the ticket but he heard Clint's voice.

"I will come to you Reinier until you forgive me. Please wait for me. I love you Reinier!" Reinier and Russell entered the train and sat. He closed his eyes and covered his face and cried silently. He senses his brother's hands holding his shoulder and taps it lightly.

"It's painful!" Reinier whispered.

By looking at his brother's situation it upset him. He wants to know what happened in Brother Clint's house but based on the situation he shouldn't ask his brother. It's breaking him.

"I'm sorry brother." Russell said but Reinier remained crying.