Well, I'm not that kind of Princess

The next inn was a full day's hike from the last one with nothing but rocks and weeds in between. As it crept up on noon, I started looking around for a flat area off the road to settle down with my lunch pack.

 "Hang in there, little lady."

 Gourry had noticed my energy waning and mistook my insatiable hunger for fatigue. He was trying to say something to bolster my spirits, which was nice, but I really wished he'd cut the "little lady" crap.

 "Times like these, a man's got to do what a man's got to do."

 "Except I'm not a man."

 I think I threw him with that one.

 "Well, when the going gets tough, the tough get going."

 "Fine. When do the tough stop for lunch?"

 He had to think about that for a minute. We stopped. We stared. We contemplated our quandary while water babbled in the background… which is probably where we got the clever idea to go fishing in the stream that ran parallel to the path.

 The stream in question was actually more of a river—too large for swimming in safely, though the water was clear. Fortunately, the sandy soil of the riverbank made it comfy to sit on for fishing.

 "Here fishy, fishy, fishy," I sang softly to myself as I collected a suitable tree branch from the forest floor and retrieved a fish-hook from my pack. I pulled out a few strands of my long, luxurious chestnut-colored hair and used them as line. Voilà! A fishing rod.

 "Hey, you're pretty good at this stuff," said Gourry, sounding genuinely impressed.

 "As a wise man once said, Gourry: You ain't seen nothing yet."

 I set the rod aside and headed to the river's edge. I moved a few rocks, dug around in the mud bank, and was rewarded with a handful of squirmy worms. I baited my hook and began to fish.

 Here, fishy, fishy, fishy…

 Nothing. Fishing is all about patience, you know.

 Here, fishy, fishy, fishy…

 Still nothing.

 Here, stupid fishy, $#@!$#—!!!

 Eventually, I did manage to catch quite a few fish, but it required a bit more sweet talk. Gourry built a fire; I cleaned and salted; and we cooked them on the spot. They were YUMMY! Frankly, I was so hungry at that point that they could have been breaded and fried in goblin blood, and I still would've eaten a dozen whole.

 "Lina, you eat the tails?"

 Don't be such a little girl, Gourry.

 "Waste not, want not," I answered, figuring I owed him for that whole when-the-going-gets-tough-the-tough-get-going non-sense. He didn't so much as smile. Why doesn't anyone ever get my jokes? "Gourry, I can understand not eating the eyeballs if you're squeamish, but why would you want to throw away the guts? That's, like, a third of the weight of the fish."

 "I am not eating fish guts," he replied resolutely.

 "But they're the tastiest paaart," I teased, putting my lovely singing voice to good use. I scooped up some fish gut between my fingers and dangled it in his face before tossing it back and showing him how it was done. I slurped up the last bit through a big grin just for show.

 "Lina, the stomach's in the guts."

 "Yes it is, Gourry."

 "So, the worms you used as bait… you just ate them."

 I thought about that for a minute and then started spitting. I spat and spat and spat and rubbed my tongue on the grass, scraping it with my fingernails and concentrating hard on not throwing up.

 "Okay, even if that is the case—"

 "It is."

 "Yeah, I get that now! But even so, you shouldn't point out things like that while someone's eating." Grrrrr.

 We ate the rest of the fish without the guts. Gourry ate only his share. I checked. We sat there picking at the bones for a bit.

"I'm still hungry, Gourry."

 "Me, too," he said. I reached for my rod to do more fishing, but I froze mid-motion. I sensed something ugly nearby.

 "Goblins…" Gourry whispered under his breath, while we both tried to act nonchalant, "… about fourteen of them."

 Okey dokey.

 I grabbed my fishing rod.

 Remember when I said that there was nothing between the last town and the next but weeds and rocks? Change that to: weeds and rocks and a whole buttload of goblins. Thanks.

 How much do you know about goblins? Let me give you the basics: Goblins are roughly humanoid, but stand only about chest high to the average adult human being. They're generally—though not exclusively—nocturnal, kind of stupid, and prone to violence. They spook easily, so they tend to avoid human settlements, though they'll happily poach cattle from the outskirts of towns and villages. In general, they're not crazy about human beings, and I wouldn't think that finding people wandering around their turf would fill them with glee. That's the bad news. The good news is that they're easy to make fun of.

 I grasped my fishing hook with my left hand, narrowed my Incus, and began chanting a hunger spell of my own devising.

 I'm not going to teach you the spell, so don't even ask. I try not to use it; and if I taught it to you, you'd teach it to someone else and pretty soon there'd be no fish left in the sea! So, seriously, don't even ask.

 I'd just finished chanting when one of the goblins let loose a horrific yelp that must have been a war cry. The lot of them came screaming from the undergrowth, rusty spiked clubs and swords at the ready They were expecting us to run, of course.

 "Shhh! Quiet!" I shouted in passable Goblin, and Gourry and I held our ground.

 The goblins halted.

 Taking advantage of the momentary opening, I lowered the fishhook under the surface of the water.

 Here, fishy, fishy, fishy…

 Silence.

 The goblins muttered among themselves something along the lines of, "What's up with the crazy red-headed broad?" They watched me carefully, trying to figure out what I was doing, but they didn't attack.

 And then… I got a bite.

 "Aw, yeah!" I yawped, yanking both line and fish high out of the water. "Whoa! That's a big one!" A huge fish danced in midair, whipping around the line and spraying us with river water. I took the fish off the line, also in midair; and it flopped on the ground before us.

 That last bit, incidentally, was even more difficult than it sounds. Be impressed.

 "Grab it!" I shouted in Goblin.

 "Gii!" they responded.

 "Gya gya, gukii!"

 "Gyuge!"

Yes, well done.

 The goblins danced around like they'd just won the lottery I kept catching fish, and they kept dancing. I had to bring in two dozen fish before I had them circled in as close as I wanted them.

 I handed my rod over to the nearest oaf.

 "Gi?"

 "Sure. This one works real good. Wanna try it?"

 "Gi… ?"

 He tilted his head to one side and looked at me like my words made no sense. How rude! My Goblin may not be polished, but it's not exactly a sophisticated language. I lowered the hook into the water for him and—he got a bite instantly!

 "Giggi!"

 His companions congratulated him and conveniently forgot all about Gourry and me. We crept quietly out of the area.

"You know some pretty crazy tricks," said Gourry, and I had to smile at that one.

 At nightfall, we waltzed into the dining hall of the next town's single-story inn. The air was perfumed with the scent of ale and tobacco; but I was hungry again, and when they brought out meaty drumsticks, I quickly became oblivious to my surroundings. The drumsticks were really good. Mmmm…

 I blinked when Gourry spoke, and the room snapped back into focus. Gourry was staring at me blankly from across the table.

 What? I blinked again. The candle on the table flickered. I brought my cup to my lips and took a sip of juice. Some pretty crazy tricks? I took another bite from the drumstick in my left hand.

Gourry's mouth was hanging open incredulously.

 Ah, now I remember. "About earlier…"

 Gourry's incredulous expression advanced to who-is-this-little-girl-anyway.

 What? What's the big deal about a little fishing spell? Sheesh. Did he think I was entirely helpless?

 "That was pretty basic magic," I explained. "Not really worth going into, I promise."

 He grunted in admiration. "So… you're some kind of sorceress, then?"

 Gah!

 Now it was my jaw's turn to drop. "Some kind of sorceress? Yes, I am some kind of sorceress! What did you think?"

I'd like to explain that from the moment that Gourry first laid eyes on me, I have been dressed like SOME KIND OF SORCERESS. I wear trousers and long boots, which in fairness doesn't indicate anything about my profession except, perhaps, that I am not a princess. However, I also wear a loose robe, cinched at the waist with a wide leather belt, a pair of leather gloves, and a bandana over my forehead.