I Just Want to Go Home - Math Arnottir

My head stung, Kasal sat with me, eyelids hanging low, with no light in his eyes, blinking periodically.

"That's only one of many futures for you..." He mumbled, looking me in my eyes, "I can't tell you what it meant, or whatever... it's for you to figure out..." Kasal passed out, falling to the ground.

I placed my hands over my eyes, trying to process what I saw, but... that wasn't all.

I want to see my friends. I felt like I haven't seen them in so long... I miss them, I want to see them again... especially Beatrice, especially Freya. I want to see them so fucking bad. I can feel my stomach tighten and tears well up in my eyes. This isn't the life I should be living right now... it feels like a fucking dream but it isn't. I have no choice but to go through it and survive.

My emotions are a mess.

I want to fight people, I want to kill things... but... I don't at the same time. I don't want to keep killing things, I just want to rest... I want to see my friends again.

I know that once I wake, I'll be back there. I'll be back in that place with those fucking Goblins.

God... I want to kill them all so I can finally fucking go back! So I can finally go back to my normal life! FUCK!

The next moment though, I found myself dead, and that the next round had started. I couldn't figure out who killed me but I know that Kasal was also brought down with me.

As I was placed back in the starting area with Kasal, Reithi, and Lagneia, my only guesses of who could've killed me would be Codicia and Jidu.

I watched as Lagneia restrained herself to go after me as Reithi immediately sprinted towards me, being cut off by Kasal, planting a foot on Reithi's face, breaking his nose. Reithi slid across the ground, writhing on the ground, gripping his nose as hard as he could, blood spilling across his hands. "FUCKING KAS-" Before he could say any more Kasal kicked Reithi again, but in the ribs, causing him to reel forward, wheezing violently.

Kasal casually scratched the back of his head, lips perked before looking at me with drowsy eyes, "You can take care of him, I don't care about winning, it'd only make my life harder."

"O-okay..."

Kasal left, leaving Reithi with me, who I killed as he was prey graciously offered to me.

But... indeed, my mind is a mess and I think I'm sort of manic at the moment. One moment I feel like I'm close to a mental break and missing my old reality and the next I'm here calculating and treating death as if it's a casual day-to-day thing.

I feel like I'm being manipulated in some way... maybe it's due to the system in some way or maybe a stress reset caused by death?

I have no idea, but I'd say, in total, at the moment, the amount of points I have is in the 40 or so range. My guess is that the others are probably in the 60s, and 100s range, obviously, Stolt being the top dog out of all of them.

I feel like I'm not tapping into something I should be tapping into... no... I think I get it.

I have to be faster and more aggressive in this game.

Third Round: Died by a camp of Kobolds.

Fourth Round: Survived but didn't get a chance to kill any creatures except for some rabbits and deers for sustenance.

Fifth Round: Died against a Goblin Lord.

Sixth Round: Took out the Goblin camp I was struggling with before bleeding out and dying due to the damage and stress put onto my body, including my lack of mana.

Seventh Round: The difficulty was raised and the area seems to have expanded. I'll take the time to plan ahead this round.

Eighth Round: The difficulty was raised once more and Desert Goblins began invading the forest and war had started against the regular Goblins and the Desert ones, the Kobolds assisting now and again. I joined in now and again, picking Desert Goblins, and regular Goblins out now and again, but fighting a Desert Goblin is a lot more stressful than I thought but they are a higher rank than me after all.

Ninth Round: The Desert Goblins won the war but have taken significant losses and it seems Stolt decided to move in.

I met with Stolt and the both of us took down the rest of the Desert Goblins. It was more of a struggle for me compared to Stolt who took them out relatively quickly before they had the chance to overpower him. Having the Captain by my side helped significantly with learning how to mimic Stolt's movements since his way of taking them out was significantly more efficient compared to my own method.

To give an example, Stolt would often take quick steps, cutting them periodically if he can't find an opening before taking them on fully with grappling and slitting their wrists and necks, sometimes even managing to get a stab at their armpits, his whole strategy to have them die by bleeding out or cutting them open before they could react. How he dealt with multiple enemies was the most impressive part. He'd weaken the both of them by dodging, exhausting, and cutting them enough to cause a large amount of blood loss then drag them towards us to finish them off.

A damper in our plans occurred though when we encountered Desert Hobgoblins. They were significantly stronger, and faster than a normal Desert Goblin. Stolt's way of diminishing the damage caused a lot of scrapes and loss of skin, the fights also being significantly longer than before, both me an the Captain attempting to help as much as we could.

Luckily for me and the Captain, their strength levels are generally the same, the only big difference being levels in mana but generally, the brawls between them were pretty even as my fight with one of the Hobgoblins involved petty tactics and poison, but it didn't appear to be fully effective since the one strike it got on me was enough to paralyze me temporarily.

Luckily I didn't die then but I came out with a few broken ribs so Stolt and the Captain had to leave me there.

Breathing was painful, my breath shaky, looking at the corpses of the dead Desert Goblins with a hungry gaze. I couldn't help myself, plus it helped me heal my injuries, but I ate them, as many as I could.

Before this whole game is over, I need to reach the Fourth Stage.

If I reach the Fourth Stage, real-life Goblins would be a joke to me. And whatever realization I make for my Fourth Stage could make it even easier to kill those fucking things.

I'm tired, I'm tired of doing this game and everything.

So I'll eat them, kill them, and beat it all. I'll get stronger and stronger. Cause me... I feel like I have infinite potential. I could just keep going, I can reach the peak by feasting on those horrible fucking creatures that seem to haunt my everyday life now.

I just want to go home...