10- Sirius’ beast speaks

That week, Saoirse slept with Madeleine. They were used to their monthly slumber parties and it really wasn't so bad staying in the servant's quarters.

There wasn't privacy, all of the servants slept in the basement, which was musty and dark, lit with dim torches that lined the walls, and curtains separated the different families.

The servants blocked out the windows with blankets and the smell of laundry soap refused to leave the air. This was because Madeleine lived near the laundry room.

"So you've got boy problems…" Madeleine said as she always did when Saoirse came looking for her. She was leaning on her pillow as she lay on a blanket on the floor and Saoirse picked up her mom's pillow to throw it at her. Her face had gone red.

"Shut up or Sirius will feel it!" She shouted.

Other servants who were staying nearby looked over to them and she hushed herself embarrassed. "You know he will feel if I'm talking about this stuff!"

"I wish I could date the prince." Madeline said dramatically teasing as she draped herself into a swoon. "With his dreamy smile. I wouldn't even mind if he…."

"If he what?" A voice interrupted her, a bit bothered.

Madeline's face got red, "Brimir!" She nearly fell over as she gave a start.

Her boyfriend was standing on the other side of the curtain that separated her sleeping area from his family's. "You know everybody can hear you guys, if Saoirse wasn't the prince's pet then someone would tell the king." Then he came over and crawled up to Madeline, practically hovering over her, touching his antlers to her smaller ones and then he kissed her nose. "Besides, I want you all to myself."

Madeline let out a giggle and Saoirse hid her face in her pillow so no one would see how red it was.

"That's enough you two, you have a guest." Madeline's mom interrupted and escorted Brimir out. "It's time to go to sleep girls; you can't forget everyone here has to be up early for work."

The girls cuddled underneath the blankets and Madeline let out one last giggle, kicking her legs about a bit to let her hyperactivity out a bit as her mom put out the light. They still slept in the day, but it was dark anyways in the castle so no one really noticed.

Saoirse slept for a while and then noticed that her toes were a bit cold. She looked down and the blanket had wrapped itself around Madeleine. Typical. She thought. She rolled over and slid into her wolf form, turning a few times to get comfortable, she lay herself back down again. Then she tossed and turned a bit. I still feel cold. She shivered and then adjusted herself some more, willing herself to go to sleep. Her stomach grumbled. She hadn't had dinner because the servants ate at a different time than Sirius and she had been with him and the king back then. Go to sleep Saoirse, just forget about it! She told herself.

But no amount of tossing and turning could shake the feeling of her stomach in knots. Am I really spoiled then? Everybody else says I am. I'm really not used to being hungry.

A few more hours passed and she couldn't shake the feeling. Sirius wouldn't mind if I just ask him for some food will he? He's a light sleeper, he never gets bugged if I wake him up.

With a sigh, she peeked out the window and carefully noticed that the sun was setting. The full moon was still there. She smelled herself. I don't know what he means that I smell different, I don't really.

She shrugged. What's he gonna do? I can defend myself. Besides, he has to learn to control himself, he decided a long time ago he wouldn't touch me, right?

Grumble grumble grumble. Her mind was racing a bit. The full moon made her hungry. She shouldn't have gone to bed without dinner. Madeleine sure looked good. She was like a deer. Saoirse had never eaten a deer before…it was technically prey…no! Get ahold of yourself, who would want to eat a wendigo! Her face is a skull, come on!

But saoirse couldn't stop salavating so she crawled carefully out of bed and made her way back to Sirius' room. It's just a quick trip, he shouldn't be too mad.

When she reached his door, she could feel the warmth which was a stark contrast to the rest of the castle, which was heated less carefully. It was always cozy in there, and as she opened the door, she saw his tall dark handsome body sleeping soundly. His face buried in his pillow like a baby, his black and white hair falling to the side.

I just want to take a picture of that face and kiss it. Invasive thoughts go away! I came here for a reason! Stop staring at him!

She looked over to his unfinished food tray and then glanced at him again nervously. I should ask him, but I don't want to wake him.

Grumble grumble grumble. Went Saoirse's stomach again. Quit complaining! She tried hushing herself, but as she fought with her instincts, Sirius began to stir. His breath came out hot from his nose and his hands stretched longer into rough black talons.

"I can smell you!" He said in his sleep.

Saoirse froze. "You know you smell better when you're a wolf; Sirius told you to stay away. Better be careful." He said in a deep voice, deeper than Sirius'. The aura around him seemed to come closer to her and his scent like ash began to fill the room.

"Sirius?" She asked, "are you awake?" His red eye opened and for a minute his pupil was large, as if his eyes were black, barely rimmed with red. Then it went back to normal as his talons quickly disappeared.

"Saoirse! What are you doing here!?" He exclaimed, jolting awake suddenly. "You know I can't control my beast!….Especially when you smell like… the full moon." He said. His eyes lost focus for a minute and he backed away from her. "Please! Just come back in a few days Saoirse! I have to keep my beast a secret or my dad, he will…"

Saoirse tried not to, but her stomach grumbled again. Now that Sirius was awake he noticed that. "Is that why you're here? You didn't get dinner did you?"

Sheepishly she shook her head no. "I'm sorry I was afraid of attacking Madeleine."

He covered his face with his blanket as his hot breath was still visible to her, "Just take my dinner, it's fine." He said. "Please eat it outside Saoirse I'm scared. You can't do that again."

She nodded solemnly. "Ok I'm sorry."

Then she took the tray and turned, getting one last look at Sirius who was hiding from her under his blanket and closing his eyes. Her wolf was sad to see him go. I wish I could help him. Maybe someday we can be together….what are these thoughts. Stupid stupid stupid. She thought, smacking her face to bring herself back to reality. Why'd I go and do that; he's going to be so disappointed now, and seeing him sad is worse than seeing Alastor mad.

She gulped down the food that was on the plate and leaned against the wall for a minute outside his door before she descended the stairs back to Madeline's bed. The feeling of guilt at putting Sirius in that vulnerable position made her ache.

Still, seeing a glimpse of Sirius' beast made her feel even more curious as to what he could turn into that had claws like that. And those eyes….why are they still dreamy? Gaaa!!!! I'm supposed to be scared of him, but it just makes me want to get closer.

"Stupid stupid stupid!" She exclaimed and smacked her cheeks some more until they were sore.

—————-

Back in his room, Sirius felt her smacking her face as she lingered outside the door. He held his breath and waited for her to leave.

Pull yourself together Sirius; you can't hurt her.

He clutched at his blanket with his black clawed hands and struggled to suppress the monster inside of him. He shut his eyes as hard as he could, but her scent lingered for a while. His beast was angry he sent his mate away. Who was he kidding, he liked her a lot.

"Please…" he told himself, "father is still too dangerous."