BEING BACK HOME.

"Hope! I'm always dragging you out of bed on days such as today!"

Oooh Nooooo...What is that girl doing in my house this early!? I roll over in my bed and pretend I didn't hear.

"Hope! If I come up those stairs you won't like it."

"What on earth is wrong with you Aimy? Didn't you have something better to do in your house?"

"Of course, I had makeup to do, but as always, I deed my make up in a hurry because my best friend is always lazy in bed and making me late for the show."

"What show are you talking about? Am not going to your tiresome shows."

"Seriously? You even forgot today is Kinsef day?!"

There we go again, Yeah, I had to forget. Kinsef stand for Kins and Folks. A yearly event we hold in church to re-unite the young people and their parents, relatives and such.

It's entirely a show because they get to show their talents, abilities, and at the end of the day, Mr. and Miss Kinsef are chosen.

The show has been there for ages and Aimy has been scooping Miss Kinsef ever since we were in high school, so you can imagine how mad she gets when I make the "girl of the day" late to her own show.

I was not always like this though, back when I was a kid, I used to look forward to the day of the show with eagerness. My dad being the Reverend of the church, also happens to be the founder of Kinsef as well. There was that pride that came with being a PK on such events, and the fact that every kid would be giving you the "I wish I was you" looks.

I was always crowned Miss Kinsef junior, my entire baby life till when I completed junior school.

Don't think it was luck because my winning had nothing to do with me being the reverend's daughter. I was a super model, would practice a lot and had dreams to take it as a career.

I would stay in my room for hours trying every "cool" move I'd think of and trying different outfits and imagining am on the run way.

Unfortunately, all that came to an end when I joined high school. My high self-esteem diminished. I abruptly changed to this quiet girl who was always alone, avoiding the crowd as much as I could.

Quiet didn't just happen because I've been quiet my entire life since childhood, but there was this active girl I was, and she suddenly disappeared.

I stopped modelling and Aimy who was always the first runners up took my place.

Aimy's parents are pastors as well and we've been friends ever since we were toddlers. We also happen to share the same birth month. Practically we are almost sisters.

Aimmy was downstairs, probably in the kitchen complaining about how am such a sleepy head.

"Hope, are you never tired of sleeping? You are always in bed."

She shouts at the top of her voice. I knew it!

"And you know why Aimy?"

"Nuh, just shut up, am not in the mood for your "Lord gives His beloved sleep" chant right now."

"But you know it's the reality...."

"As it is written in Psalms, Proverbs...whatever book I don't remember...Yes, I know Hope, now take your lame excuses to the shower."

Aaaargggh ...This girl! She is always winning every argument we have. I know better than to keep arguing with her.

Pulling my duvet over my head, I ignore her chants and say nothing.

"Keep assuming me but I want you dressed in the next ten minutes."

Damn! She sure means that. It's not once or twice she has dragged me to the shower while in my sleep. As much as I want to stay in bed, I know her threats are not just empty threats so I head to the shower.

"Good girl, she is finally dressed."

Aimy starts clapping from the dinning where she is setting our breakfast.

She is dressed in this off shoulder red dress, reaching just above her knees and six-inch black stilettos with some red lining. Her hair is curled at the back of her head in a pony tail.

Aimy is one elegant girl when it comes to appearance. While I take not more than ten minutes in my closet, She can take hours to decide on which set of earrings matches her make up leave alone getting dressed.

She has to make sure her outfit outlines her make up, jewelry and her appearance is well rhyming with the occasion of the day.

"Hello Miss whole Universe." I head to her for a hug.

"Ah huh, I know where you getting with that, just sit and eat, we are already late."

Laughing, I start gobbling down the omelet and toast.

Damn, I was hungry, can't even recall the last time I had a proper meal.

Am always in school for almost the whole day time and working till late in the night hence no time to cook proper meals. In-fact, most times I find myself having take-aways.

"Gosh! Aimy, I feel exhausted."

"Not surprising, you always are anyway."

"Aimy! Am serious." I whine.

She is always pretending to care less. She has always been down my throat telling me to quit working at the diner, that its too tiresome and I've never listened.

I guess she'll be happy with the news am about to give her.

It's been a week since the scene at the diner. I was really not okay that night so we had no chance to talk about it with Aimmy.

"I quit my job."

"Excuse you, what did you say?"

"Yes, I quit."

"Ooh baby, lemme guess, that sorry face at the diner that night?"

"Not really, made a scene but the manager was not mad at me. Just decided to quit though."

"Am so sorry, are you okay?"

"Stop with the sympathy, you've always wanted me to quit."

"And I din't say I changed my mind. In-fact, am happy you did, that diner was always draining your energy. Am just wondering how you feel about it, are you sure that is what you want?"

"I am. Never been so sure before. Am just tired of dealing with shitty customers on a daily basis."

"Don't worry girl, we'll find you a new source of income."

"Yeah, am cool with staying home anyway, the bills can pay themselves for all I care!"

The past one week has been the most and only peaceful week I've had for almost a year.

No school, no crazy customers, no mistaken orders, just sleep and carbs. It has really worked well for a person trying to block the reality of the world away.

Taking my plate to the sink, I take some tap water and wash up my mouth.

I just wish I could believe what I just said. Saying things is easy but believing have always been a challenge.

Turning to the table, I find Aimy staring at me.

"Whaaaat? I'm joking about the bills paying themselves. Don't give me that sorry look."

"Have you thought of talking to your dad.? Maybe you can talk to him today..."

Huh, yeah.... Easy to say, I decide to ignore her idea.

"Come on, we should get going or we'll be more late."

"Well, yes. I guess that is you not going to talk to him. We'll figure something out."

"Aimy don't worry, I will be just fine."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Driving into the JOSU Grounds came along with different emotions running through me. Expecting to feel this way after all these years was not in my to do list. Knowing what I expected was hysterical as well.

Childhood memories come flashing back and a wave of joy, happiness, guilt, shame, betrayal all overwhelm me. This is the place I grew up. Where I took my first baby steps. A place I had called home, learnt to believe in myself and the same place I had been betrayed, felt like an outcast and worthless.

There was a-lot that had changed over the years. Not much was like I remembered. The massive JOSU castle had definitely been renovated. The hall was now extended easily noticed from the outside.

I wonder what it has been like for the past eight years that I have not set my foot here.

The parking is more than full to capacity. It seems like the main underground parking is already full as the field is spaceless as well.

Taking in a deep breath, I stare out the window somehow questioning myself why am really here.

Did I really come for the event or was I having different expectations in my mind.?

I was well aware that the occasion would be happening at our family home but still, I came.

What is really wrong with me.? Closing my eyes, I have one of the self talks am used to having with myself. I feel a hand on my shoulder and my body relax.

"Bff are you okay?"

"Yes Aimy. Just a moment."

This was just a statement. I hate making Aimy worry over my problems. Am not close to okay, but if it will destroy Aimy's chance to shine, I'll have to be okay.

It has been very long, not months but years. Eight years down the line, I had thought with the long period of time, the feelings am having would be suppressed and not an issue. Now what I feel is completely different from what I had thought. This was not just an issue but a big issue.

"I guess you feeling confused right now. Take your time, I'll go ahead. Remember to lock the car."

She didn't wait for an answer because obviously I was so absent minded to give her one.

Am grateful though that she always knows when I need time alone. This is one of the many reasons why she is my best friend.

Composing myself, I dab my face with a pocket tissue. Luckily, am not a make-up type of girl. Otherwise in situations such as this I would end up embarrassing myself.

Sometimes I wonder just how much we ladies can overdo things. You meet a lady with very heavy makeup and she be looking like a walking bag of cement. Am like hey, don't you have a mirror in your house?? I definitely never say it out loud but eish!! For the sake of no heavy makeup ladies like us, stop overdoing it!

Adjusting the passenger's seat, I stare into the seat's mirror. This is just another reason why Aimy is my bestie. She drives a Mercedes-Benz S-Class and this four-wheel, is an apartment by itself. She is quite a classy girl and I always wonder why we still friends. You know that rumor of people becoming rich and looking down on their once upon a time friends who are still poor?? I guess I've heard it so many times till it got me thinking maybe one day Aimy might just wake up and decide we should not be friends anymore.

Now I know better than to think our friendship can just end out of the blues. Don't overthink it though, you'll end up concluding that am poor, and nop am not.

Saying am rich on the other hand, might be an overstatement because I drive an old model of volks wagon Jetta. That is particularly the reason we always use Aimy's car whenever we heading to the same destination. This luxurious car got everything. If I was to name it, I'd call it a mobile self-contained apartment.

Now that I lost my job, Incase I get kicked out of my apartment, I might as well end up sleeping on its comfy leather seats. This is where I say thank God, I have a wealthy best friend.

Setting my feet on the ground, the whole world become a blur. Supporting myself with the door, I breath in deeply.

"Hope this is not the time for one of your episodes. Calm down, you can face this."

This is a self-talk I find myself having soo many times when I walk into a crowd or when am nervous.

Fixing my smile, I lock the car and head for the hall. The event is yet to start and the hallways are crowded with people chit chatting. Things have really changed from what I remember. The stage is massive and extensive. No wonder they chose this place for the venue. With the renovations its accommodating thousands.

Our church is huge but compared to the JOSU hall right now, small it is. The lectern is enormous and adorable. I literally don't know this place. Everything is so different including the themes and lighting.

"Hey, are you one of the contestants?"

A strange new voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Me?? Are you even serious?? Do I look like one to you?"

"Sure, you do."

"Don't listen to her, she is contesting."

"Aimy? And where on earth did you come from?"

"Don't worry but am happy I arrived just in time to make a decision for you."

"And who said you could make decisions for me?"

"Gentleman, add her to the list. HOPE JOYFSON."

"Well, ladies excuse me."

"Aimy, what was that about?"

"Get ready for cat walk girlfriend. Just like old times!"

With that, she winks and speeds off to I don't know where. This girl will be the end of me.

"Welcome to our annual KINSEF talent show. We have great surprises in store for you. In a few moments you will get to see our hottest models displaying some of the most amazing fashions and brands in the city. Today we got you a real treat!"

Okay, this MC really got the energy. The speakers boom loud with his voice.

"Please relax and be alert, you don't want to miss this. All contestants you will walk to the stage for a brief introduction before the competition. Kindly stand in the order of your tags. Ladies and gents welcome our contestant tag N.O1, Hope Joyfson. Did I hear right? He just called my name? Is he even serious?? You ever felt blood and oxygen drain from your veins and you can't do anything about it? That is me right now. I just decide to assume there is another person with a similar name.

But that was no way working because before I can even rethink , Aimmy drags me to the stage.

They must be kidding. This is all her doing!! Is it not enough that I feel like a stranger in my own home?? She had to add to it with her own plan without consulting me!!

Well, embarrassment here I come.

I can't even listen to the other contestants with the crowd staring at me. Allowing my mind to roam, I compose myself and drain in my thoughts.